Glee.S02E06.720p.BluRay.X264-REWARD_track3_eng [SubtitleTools.com] Subtitles

00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:03,Here's what you missed on Glee.

00:00:03,295 --> 00:00:05,Puck tried to steal an A.T.M.
And g***t stuck in juvie.

00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,As far as badasses go,
I'm number "wah."

00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:09,Sam and Quinn
are sort of a couple,
and so are Mike and Tina.

00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,Artie and Brittany went out.
He sort of dumped her.
Now he sort of wants her back.

00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:15,Kurt's pretty lonely
all by himself,
and so is Coach Beiste.

00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:17,Sue keeps trying
to get her to quit.
She even baked her cookies.

00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:19,Are those dog poop cookies?

00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:21,That's what you missed on Glee.

00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,Ooh!

00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:36,Dude. How do you stand
that cold tub?

00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:38,I'm used to cold showers
dating Quinn.

00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,Mm-mmm.

00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,No.

00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:48,How about a little
somethin'-somethin'?

00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:51,A little something-something
always leads to something more.

00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,I've been there. Remember?

00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:57,When we're prom king and queen,
it'll feel just as good
as a little something-something.

00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:02,Been there, dude.
Actually, still there now, but...

00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:06,How do we find the only
two girls in high school
that won't put out?

00:01:07,151 --> 00:01:08,What do you do though?

00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:11,Well, easy.

00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:14,I just think about
the opposite of what I'm doing.

00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:27,Oh, my God!

00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,I've never actually
almost killed
a civil servant before.

00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,Well, you have to find something
to be your own buzz kill.

00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:42,You know, something
that is totally not hot.

00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:45,I don't care!
If you're on this football team,
you'll wear a cup.

00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,Hey, ever notice
that when the Beiste
gets all fired up,

00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,her underpants go
right up her butt?

00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:51,...in your groin
with that helmet?

00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:54,You think The Nutcracker
is just a musical?

00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:56,Do you want some 200-pound...
Looks like I found
my mailman.

00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,Yes, you did.

00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:07,I take it we have
a lot of sweater trains to
look forward to this season.

00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:12,Are you okay?

00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:15,Yeah. Fine.

00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:23,All right, guys.
Let's get down to business.

00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:26,First, let's welcome back
Noah Puckerman.

00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:31,Puck, I hope your time in juvie
has taught you a lesson or two
about right and wrong.

00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:33,Are you kidding me?
I ruled that place.

00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:36,All I did was crack skulls
and lift weights all day.

00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:38,Wow. What a catch.
Can't believe
I ever let you go.

00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:41,And now, drumroll, Finn,

00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:45,because I have in my hand
our competition
for sectionals next month.

00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:47,- First, the a cappella choir...

00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,from the all-boys
private school in Westerville,

00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,the Dalton Academy Warblers.

00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,All right.
Yeah!

00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,Okay. Hold up.

00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:57,Like a million awesome
gay jokes just popped
into my head.

00:02:57,344 --> 00:03:00,And the other team to beat,
the Hipsters,

00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:04,a first-year club from the Warren Township
continuing education program.

00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:06,Now, they are a glee club
composed entirely...

00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,of elderly people getting
their high school G.E.D.'s.

00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:12,- Is that legal?
- How are we supposed to compete
against adorable old people?

00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:14,Are you kidding? Brittle bones.

00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:17,Give one of those old ladies
a good-luck pat on the rear,
it'll shatter her pelvis.

00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:19,Moving on. Since it seemed...

00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,to get you guys jazzed
about sectionals last year,

00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:23,I want to make this week...

00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:25,our second-annual
boys versus girls tournament.

00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,So, split up into two groups,

00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:32,and figure out what songs
you're gonna sing.

00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:36,Okay. I have mashup ideas
in my emergency mashup list.

00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:39,Kurt, gonna say it again.
Boys' team.

00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:42,Okay. How about you put
your suggestions...

00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,I say we do
a whole AC/DC medley.

00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:47,The lead guitarist
drops his pants
at every concert.

00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:56,I know it's not my place to ask,
but can you push me down
the back staircase?

00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:58,My injury should be the same,
but it's more lightly populated,

00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,so the humiliation
won't be as bad.

00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,Relax. I'm here to take care of you.
You're my boy now.

00:04:03,327 --> 00:04:04,I don't understand.

00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,I g***t out of juvie early
because I agreed to do
community service.

00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:09,But I ain't picking up trash
along the freeway.
That's ghetto.

00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:14,So I told my probie officer that
I knew a cripple that needed some help,
and she went for it.

00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,- I'm your community service?
- There's no way
I'm going back to juvie.

00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:19,There's no chicks and no kosher
meal options up in that place.

00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:22,Cool. So we're, like, friends.

00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:25,Slow down, Professor X.
I never said anything
about liking you.

00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:28,Now shut up right quick.
We're gonna steal some food
from the cafeteria.

00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,This chair's a great place
for hiding stuff.

00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,What is your problem?

00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,You talking back to me?

00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,You want a piece
of the Fury?
The Fury?

00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:40,That's what I named my fist.
Ooh. With that
level of creativity,

00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:42,you could easily
become assistant manager
at a rendering plant.

00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:45,I don't know what that is,
but if I find out it's bad,

00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:48,the Fury's gonna find you.

00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:56,Is there anything
that I could do?

00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,No. This is my hill
to climb alone.

00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,Can I be honest?

00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,I think it's getting to you.

00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:11,Usually this stuff rolls
right off your back.

00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:14,But lately you've been belligerent,
angry, pushing people away.

00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,Can I be honest with you?

00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:20,You, like everyone else
at this school, are too quick
to let homophobia slide.

00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,And your lesson plans
are boring and repetitive.

00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:25,Boys versus girls?
That doesn't challenge any of us.

00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:28,You mean because
I didn't let you join
the girls like you wanted.

00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:32,To answer your question,
yes, I'm unhappy.

00:05:32,124 --> 00:05:36,And yes, being the only
out gay kid at this school
gets me down.

00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,But most of all,

00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,I'm not challenged
in the least here.

00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:46,I'm not tossing the baby out
with the bathwater here.

00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,I've totally done that.

00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:49,We're just making an adjustment.

00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,Boys, you are now doing songs...

00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,traditionally sung
by girl groups.

00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:57,And, girls,
try some classic rock.
The Who, The Stones.

00:05:57,441 --> 00:05:59,The more opposite your choice,
the more points you get.

00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,Don't worry, gentlemen.
I have this one under control.

00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:05,Now, obviously for
this medley to work,

00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,I'm gonna have to sing lead,

00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:09,and, of course, when you're
singing Diana Ross,

00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:12,Bob Mackie-esque marabou
feather boas are a must.

00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,Isn't this lesson
about opposites?

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