The Lone Gunmen - 1x11 Subtitles

At 00:00:02,456, Character said: Malawi has an area
of 45,747 square miles...

2
At 00:00:07,328, Character said: and its unit of currency
is the kwacha.

3
At 00:00:10,498, Character said: - Is that correct, sir?
- [Man Laughing] How do I know?

4
At 00:00:13,768, Character said: What do you mean
you don't know the answer?

5
At 00:00:16,637, Character said: How ** I supposed to impress you folks
if nobody knows when I'm right?

6
At 00:00:19,640, Character said: [Scattered Applause]

7
At 00:00:21,809, Character said: But I **, 45,747...

8
At 00:00:25,046, Character said: or in square kilometers,
118,484.

9
At 00:00:29,984, Character said: Look it up when you get home.

10
At 00:00:32,186, Character said: - [Applause]
- No need. No need.

11
At 00:00:35,356, Character said: Mere child's play for Mr. Memory,
ladies and gentlemen.

12
At 00:00:38,326, Character said: Come on, somebody
ask me a tough one.

13
At 00:00:40,962, Character said: Ahem, what is the highest price paid
for a pop star's clothing?

14
At 00:00:44,999, Character said: That would be the Afghan coat
worn byJohn Lennon...

15
At 00:00:47,835, Character said: on the cover of the Beatles'
Magical Mystery Tour album in 1967.

16
At 00:00:53,307, Character said: It sold for £34,999 sterling.

17
At 00:00:59,280, Character said: [Applause, Whistling]

18
At 00:01:03,584, Character said: - Rivers. 4, 145 miles. That would be the Nile.
- Ara, the traffic.

19
At 00:01:07,888, Character said: The Amazon, 4,000 miles.

20
At 00:01:10,257, Character said: - The Yangtze in Asia, 3,740 miles.
- You nearly missed this guy.

21
At 00:01:14,061, Character said: - Here in America, we have
the Mississippi at 3,740 miles.
- He kills me.

22
At 00:01:16,831, Character said: - He knows all these, uh, crazy little facts.
- [Mr. Memory Continues]

23
At 00:01:21,769, Character said: - The Ob-Irtysh at 3,362 miles.
- Who's your friend?

24
At 00:01:25,906, Character said: Hey, tell me when I can stop.

25
At 00:01:31,545, Character said: He's been asking about you.

26
At 00:01:33,547, Character said: [Man]
What do you call a tip of a shoelace?

27
At 00:01:35,549, Character said: [Mr. Memory] An aglet. And get this.
Flying fish jump, penguins can fly...

28
At 00:01:38,319, Character said: - Excuse me.
- And ostriches can run up to 40 miles an hour.

29
At 00:01:42,356, Character said: [Indistinct]
Thank you. Thank you.

30
At 00:01:45,393, Character said: [Laughs]
Yes, that's all right.

31
At 00:01:47,395, Character said: [Man]
What about the eyes?

32
At 00:01:49,830, Character said: You're not as pasty
as your D.M.V. photo.

33
At 00:01:52,033, Character said: [Mr. Memory Continues]

34
At 00:01:55,169, Character said: So, you gonna buy me
anotherJack and Coke, Larry?

35
At 00:01:57,805, Character said: It's Mr. Rose.

36
At 00:01:59,807, Character said: You don't know me well enough
for anything else.

37
At 00:02:02,977, Character said: Oh, I sort of do.

38
At 00:02:05,212, Character said: I know things about you that your wife
doesn't know. That's for sure.

39
At 00:02:09,083, Character said: I'm like Mr. Memory.
This big head full of facts.

40
At 00:02:13,154, Character said: Famous people and the names
they had before they were famous.

41
At 00:02:16,023, Character said: Take Howard Cohen.
Better known as Howard Cosell.

42
At 00:02:18,926, Character said: - Two thousand dollars?
- Yeah, two grand.

43
At 00:02:22,663, Character said: So, we gonna do this, or what?

44
At 00:02:29,537, Character said: Count to 10, then follow me.

45
At 00:02:32,506, Character said: Whoopi Goldberg
was named Caryn Johnson.

46
At 00:02:36,577, Character said: And Gene Wilder
was Jerome Silberman.

47
At 00:02:39,013, Character said: Samuel Goldwyn
was Samuel Goldfish.

48
At 00:02:42,083, Character said: And the Artist Formerly Known As Prince
was formerly known as Roger Nelson.

49
At 00:02:48,689, Character said: But I, of course,
was always Mr. Memory!

50
At 00:02:53,494, Character said: Ha, ha.
And don't you forget it.

51
At 00:02:55,796, Character said: [Laughs]
Thank you.

52
At 00:02:57,798, Character said: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you.

53
At 00:03:01,502, Character said: Hey. Larry Rose?

54
At 00:03:18,452, Character said: You son of a bitch!

55
At 00:03:20,721, Character said: - Come on, let's hear it!
- [Gunshots]

56
At 00:03:24,158, Character said: [Audience Murmuring]

57
At 00:04:33,594, Character said: I've g***t this theory.

58
At 00:04:36,397, Character said: Back when I was playing the game
that is God's gift to Monday night...

59
At 00:04:41,435, Character said: football...
they made me wear a helmet.

60
At 00:04:45,139, Character said: Nobody could see my face
inside it.

61
At 00:04:48,175, Character said: But if I didn't wear it,
I could have gotten...

62
At 00:04:51,312, Character said: brain damage.

63
At 00:04:54,481, Character said: I think that everyone
goes through life...

64
At 00:04:57,518, Character said: wearing this, like,
invisible football helmet.

65
At 00:05:01,956, Character said: We need it to protect ourselves.

66
At 00:05:04,625, Character said: But that means that other people
never really see our true face.

67
At 00:05:09,763, Character said: So, you gotta figure that everybody's
always g***t this part of them...

68
At 00:05:14,535, Character said: that's hidden.

69
At 00:05:16,604, Character said: Me included.

70
At 00:05:18,606, Character said: That's where
this whole story started.

71
At 00:05:23,043, Character said: Oh, yeah, this one is going to
win us the Pulitzer.

72
At 00:05:28,649, Character said: Jimmy, we need your check.

73
At 00:05:31,518, Character said: - Allied Printing and Litho.
- Yeah, $1,381.

74
At 00:05:34,955, Character said: Uh, price went up, huh?

75
At 00:05:37,191, Character said: Yeah, a little.
Cost of newsprint, they said. Sorry.

76
At 00:05:40,961, Character said: Hey, man, thanks, as always.

77
At 00:05:43,130, Character said: Yeah, you're a real lifesaver. Drive fast.
Red lights are for chumps.

78
At 00:05:49,536, Character said: Hey, where's Byers?
He usually comes with me.

79
At 00:05:51,805, Character said: Hell if I know.
I didn't hear him go out this morning.

80
At 00:05:53,807, Character said: I never heard him come home last night.
I don't think he did.

81
At 00:05:57,378, Character said: What do you figure?
A girl?

82
At 00:06:00,147, Character said: [Langly]
Yeah, right. Byers?

83
At 00:06:03,951, Character said: - [Clattering]
- Hey! What are you doing?

84
At 00:06:06,887, Character said: Repossession for nonpayment.
This says I can take it.

85
At 00:06:09,423, Character said: - Come on. I only missed like...
- Sorry. Talk to the bank.

86
At 00:06:11,992, Character said: [Sighs]

87
At 00:06:15,229, Character said: - [Truck Door Closes, Engine Starts]
- Aw.

88
At 00:06:24,772, Character said: [Chugging]

89
At 00:06:31,946, Character said: [Van Backfires]

90
At 00:06:38,052, Character said: - Hey, Byers.
- Jimmy.

91
At 00:06:42,289, Character said: I'd like you to meet somebody.

92
At 00:06:49,630, Character said: Jimmy Bond, Carol Strode.

93
At 00:06:53,434, Character said: We're going to help her
catch a murderer.

94
At 00:07:01,942, Character said: - That's terrible.
- Yeah, really terrible.

95
At 00:07:07,948, Character said: My brother and I were estranged
for the past couple of years.

96
At 00:07:11,118, Character said: That's what makes it even harder.

97
At 00:07:13,120, Character said: [Byers] It happened four days ago
at a Delaware nightclub.

98
At 00:07:15,522, Character said: He'd been shot.

99
At 00:07:19,393, Character said: - I'm really sorry to hear it.
- Yeah, I'm even sorrier.

100
At 00:07:22,963, Character said: The police have no suspects
or motives.

101
At 00:07:27,735, Character said: And this thing that happened
toJeff's body...

102
At 00:07:29,737, Character said: Um, he was cremated
by accident.

103
At 00:07:32,706, Character said: A coroner's error.

104
At 00:07:35,309, Character said: I never even g***t to see him.

105
At 00:07:39,813, Character said: So, then you called Byers.

106
At 00:07:44,251, Character said: How do you two know each other?

107
At 00:07:46,920, Character said: We knew each other in college.
My brotherJeff was John's roommate.

108
At 00:07:52,426, Character said: Oh. Sorry, Byers.

109
At 00:07:57,965, Character said: At any rate, uh,
the case has taken some odd turns.

110
At 00:08:01,101, Character said: Latest of which is this.

111
At 00:08:03,103, Character said: It's an e-mail Carol received yesterday.
It's from Jeff.

112
At 00:08:06,774, Character said: Jeff, who died
four days agoJeff?

113
At 00:08:11,178, Character said: He programmed his computer
to send it postmortem.

114
At 00:08:14,348, Character said: - Heavy.
- "Carol...

115
At 00:08:16,784, Character said: "if you're reading this,
I'm dead.

116
At 00:08:19,253, Character said: "In all likelihood,
I've been murdered...

117
At 00:08:22,456, Character said: "owing to the huge number of people
I've pissed off in the past few years.

118
At 00:08:27,194, Character said: The Web site below
will reveal the identity of my killer."

119
At 00:08:31,632, Character said: I've already tried
to access the site.

120
At 00:08:33,667, Character said: The server's been completely wiped.

121
At 00:08:35,869, Character said: Which means somebody
is covering up evidence.

122
At 00:08:52,019, Character said: Whoa, my eyes are burning.

123
At 00:08:54,021, Character said: Man, what died in here?

124
At 00:08:56,423, Character said: Oh, sorry.
That didn't come out right.

125
At 00:09:01,328, Character said: - Maybe...