Bless This House s05e01 They Dont Write Songs Like That Anymore.eng Subtitles

00:00:55,950 --> 00:00:57,Little man, you're flying.

00:00:57,570 --> 00:00:59,I know why you're blue.

00:01:00,070 --> 00:01:02,Someone take your kiddie car away.

00:01:04,790 --> 00:01:07,Get a load of sleep now.

00:01:07,390 --> 00:01:10,Little man, have a good day.

00:01:15,030 --> 00:01:17,You great clumsy lump.

00:01:19,170 --> 00:01:24,You shatter my antiques. Get your
backside off there.

00:01:24,491 --> 00:01:26,Oh, God.

00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,Blimey, look what you've done here.

00:01:28,161 --> 00:01:29,Did it.

00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:30,You smashed a lot.

00:01:30,860 --> 00:01:31,Well, I'm sorry, Dad.

00:01:31,911 --> 00:01:35,I mean, it's not all my fault, is it? If
they were unbreakable, I wouldn't have

00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:38,broken. They didn't make unbreakable
ones in 1938.

00:01:38,081 --> 00:01:41,Well, that's your fault, isn't it, Dad?
You were born far too early.

00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:46,I didn't have any choice. Well, you'll
carry on. I wish we had.

00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:50,What's the matter? Didn't you like
those?

00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,Of course I liked them.

00:01:55,420 --> 00:01:58,I didn't smash him. This idiot did it.
It was an accident.

00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:00,So were you.

00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:03,Thank you.

00:02:03,251 --> 00:02:04,You're welcome.

00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:07,I don't know why you're getting so
uptight about that. I mean, you paid
00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:09,for the whole lot and you've still g***t
the gramophone.

00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,And it was a load of old rubbish anyway.

00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,How dare you, a load of rubbish.

00:02:14,481 --> 00:02:17,Well, in this day and age, you've g***t to
be with it.

00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,They were with it. In 1938.

00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,Oh, dear, did it take you long to get
fed up with those?

00:02:25,190 --> 00:02:26,There you go, Dad. I'm off.

00:02:26,670 --> 00:02:27,Where are you going?

00:02:28,570 --> 00:02:29,Nowhere. Good.

00:02:29,690 --> 00:02:30,Don't hurry back.

00:02:30,741 --> 00:02:35,You know, Daddy, I don't understand you.
We've g***t a lovely stereo with speakers

00:02:35,810 --> 00:02:38,and earphones. Do you want to listen to
that old thing?

00:02:38,510 --> 00:02:40,My way, you don't get depth so quick.

00:02:41,050 --> 00:02:42,Hey,

00:02:42,270 --> 00:02:44,will you move that old rubbish off the
table, please?

00:02:45,690 --> 00:02:46,Rubbish.

00:03:05,431 --> 00:03:07,And your father.

00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:10,One minute he's mad keen about
something, the next minute he goes off

00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:12,Mummy?

00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:15,Yes, dear? When were you in 1938?

00:03:15,940 --> 00:03:16,At school.

00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:18,Did you collect pop records?

00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:23,No, it wasn't allowed in our house. The
only music we had was Jerusalem, and

00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,Jesus wants me for a thumbbeam.

00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:26,Well, you couldn't dance to those.

00:03:26,881 --> 00:03:30,No, I didn't start dancing until your
father took me to the ballet.

00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:31,What was he like as a dancer?

00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,A cross between Fred Astaire and Lassie.

00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:42,No, he was very good, really.

00:03:42,421 --> 00:03:45,And he used to get up and sing with the
band, didn't you, Sid?

00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:46,That's right.

00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:49,Whispering Sid the Nightingale of East
Ham.

00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,And he used to write his own songs,
didn't you?

00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:54,That's true.

00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:59,Unforgettable little numbers like, you
can have your whelks and cockles, but

00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:00,leave my winkles alone.

00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:04,Go on.

00:04:05,380 --> 00:04:07,When you get to my muscles, you...

00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,It was very rude, if I remember rightly.

00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,Yeah, well, that's how they liked him in
those days.

00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:21,Well, I think it's a pity you gave it
up. I mean, if you'd kept up with the

00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:24,times, you could have made yourself a
lot of money and gone in for that

00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,competition. What competition?

00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:27,This one.

00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:29,Write a pop song.

00:04:29,980 --> 00:04:33,The winner gets £3 ,000 and there's ten
consolation prizes.

00:04:34,740 --> 00:04:36,I could write a pop song standing on my
head.

00:04:36,911 --> 00:04:40,Well, stand on your head in that corner,
darling. I'll give you a pencil and

00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,paper. No, I mean it.

00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:43,I don't know why I didn't think of it
before.

00:04:43,820 --> 00:04:46,But you don't know anything about pop
music.

00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:49,I've had enough pop music round down my
ear to last me a lifetime.

00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:51,There is nothing I don't know about it.

00:04:51,620 --> 00:04:55,Before you get carried away, darling,
will you take the gramophone up, please?

00:04:55,780 --> 00:04:56,Pop songs?

00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:58,Piece of cake.

00:05:01,060 --> 00:05:04,You can have your welks and cockles, but
leave my winkles alone.

00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,And when you get to my muscles, you...

00:05:19,270 --> 00:05:20,Where's Daddy?

00:05:20,610 --> 00:05:21,Upstairs, composing.

00:05:22,470 --> 00:05:23,Composing what?

00:05:23,530 --> 00:05:24,A pop song.

00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:25,You're joking.

00:05:26,130 --> 00:05:27,I wish I was.

00:05:27,311 --> 00:05:29,What are you talking about, Mum?

00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:32,He's going to write a pop song for that
competition and win £3 ,000.

00:05:32,910 --> 00:05:33,It's as simple as that.

00:05:33,991 --> 00:05:36,I'll put my name down for a few, Bob,
then.

00:05:36,190 --> 00:05:37,But Daddy's serious.

00:05:37,241 --> 00:05:41,He's going in for the competition and he
thinks he's going to win it. He is so

00:05:41,170 --> 00:05:44,far behind the pop scene, he didn't even
catch up with the Charlestons.

00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:49,Gary Glitter.

00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:54,I'll thump you.

00:05:54,380 --> 00:05:56,Now, don't get aerated, darling.

00:05:56,001 --> 00:05:57,Where are the aspirin?

00:05:57,420 --> 00:05:58,In the desk. Oh, yeah.

00:05:58,521 --> 00:06:00,I've g***t a shocking headache.

00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:03,Well, lots of composers had their
troubles, Dad. Look at Beethoven.

00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:04,He was deaf.

00:06:05,340 --> 00:06:07,So will you be when I burp you round in
your arm.

00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:11,Yes, Daddy. And look at Shostakovich.
Who?

00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:13,Shostakovich.

00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:15,Shostakovich?

00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,Oh, yes, left back for Yugoslavia.

00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:22,I didn't know he wrote music as well.

00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:25,Lunch won't be long.

00:06:26,180 --> 00:06:28,I'm not having any lunch. I'm going out.

00:06:28,041 --> 00:06:29,What for?

00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:30,To buy a piano.

00:06:31,220 --> 00:06:34,We had a piano for 15 years. No one ever
touched it.

00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,We gave it to Oxfam.

00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:38,Well, they are. It's probably been eaten
by now.

00:06:42,020 --> 00:06:43,Why do you want a piano?

00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:44,To compose on.

00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:48,play the guitar.

00:06:48,050 --> 00:06:49,You can't play the piano either.

00:06:50,930 --> 00:06:55,I may not even stick to pop music. I
might go straight for the classical

00:06:55,750 --> 00:06:58,Well, if Beethoven was alive, he'd be
glad he was deaf.

00:06:58,831 --> 00:07:03,If Beethoven had been any bloody good,
he'd have won three thousand and bought

00:07:03,730 --> 00:07:04,himself a hearing aid.

00:07:29,390 --> 00:07:31,Any money in that? Oh, a fortune.

00:07:31,031 --> 00:07:33,If you've g***t the talent, you know.

00:07:33,170 --> 00:07:34,Go on. Yeah.

00:07:38,010 --> 00:07:40,Hang on.

00:07:44,050 --> 00:07:45,What about this lot there?

00:07:46,110 --> 00:07:49,Uh, yeah, well, uh, you know in the
sheet music where it says tap it?

00:07:50,490 --> 00:07:51,Yeah.

00:07:51,670 --> 00:07:52,Well, that means silent.

00:07:53,250 --> 00:07:55,Oh. And that's where you play bass.

00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:01,You think I'm a mug, don't you?

00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,Oh, blimey, you've g***t a few...