Bless This House s03e12 A Girls Worst Friend Is Her Father.eng Subtitles

00:00:02,410 --> 00:00:05,Bless This House, Episode 1, 7494, Take
1.

00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:15,Ooh, you shocking looking thing, you.

00:01:43,839 --> 00:01:44,Vitality plus.

00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:49,The eternal youth capsule.

00:01:50,620 --> 00:01:52,Add zing to your life.

00:01:53,260 --> 00:01:54,Could do with a bit of zing.

00:01:56,740 --> 00:01:57,Protects in your s***x.

00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,Do with a bit of that as well.

00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:10,One of one's enough.

00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:16,Might as well make sure.

00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:48,No, I haven't.

00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:51,Have you been taking those s***x pills
again?

00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:57,Those s***x... Those pills are for my
liver.

00:02:57,260 --> 00:03:00,They don't send liver pills through the
post in a plain sealed wrapper.

00:03:00,820 --> 00:03:02,You know far too much for your age.

00:03:02,980 --> 00:03:04,I'm not a girl anymore.

00:03:04,561 --> 00:03:08,Anyway, I saw where you bought the
advertisement for the Sunday paper.

00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,Yeah, well, they're just vitamin pills,
really, that's all.

00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:12,Yes, Daddy.

00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,Do they work?

00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:16,Mind your own business.

00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:20,Don't you dare.

00:03:20,151 --> 00:03:22,Thank you.

00:03:22,180 --> 00:03:23,What did your last servant die of?

00:03:24,420 --> 00:03:25,Asking too many questions.

00:03:25,741 --> 00:03:29,Plug that in, make your mother a cup of
coffee and take it upstairs.

00:03:29,300 --> 00:03:30,You needn't bother, I'm up.

00:03:30,820 --> 00:03:32,Oh, everybody's up early this morning.

00:03:33,140 --> 00:03:36,I thought I'd have my bath before the
rest of you used all the hot water.

00:03:36,631 --> 00:03:39,Well, how are you feeling, Sally?

00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:41,I didn't sleep much. I was worried about
the interview.

00:03:41,871 --> 00:03:45,I'll never forget my first job. I was in
a solicitor's office.

00:03:45,260 --> 00:03:46,I can just see you now, Daddy.

00:03:54,191 --> 00:03:56,Thank you.

00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,It was a good job. It had good
prospects.

00:03:58,091 --> 00:04:01,Mr Petherbridge thought a lot of me. He
thought I had a great future with the

00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:02,firm. How long were you there?

00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:05,Two days.

00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:07,Two days?

00:04:07,971 --> 00:04:09,Yeah, well, I did something he didn't
like.

00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:10,What was that?

00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:12,I set fire to the stockroom.

00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:14,Well, why would you do that?

00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:15,I didn't do it on purpose.

00:04:16,399 --> 00:04:20,I was giving a quiet smoke behind the
files, you see, and I thought I'd put

00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:24,fag out, but I... Blimey, it didn't half
go up. What did Mr Petherbridge...

00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:26,Very much. You swore I looked.

00:04:26,540 --> 00:04:27,I'm not surprised.

00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,I'll take my coffee upstairs.

00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:30,And I'll go and do my hair.

00:04:31,420 --> 00:04:33,And I'll pour myself a cup of coffee.
Thank you.

00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:44,Charlie, over here. The letterbox.

00:04:46,380 --> 00:04:47,Is that you, Mike?

00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,Well, it's not next door's elevation, is
it?

00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:51,What, Charlie?

00:04:51,420 --> 00:04:53,No, I'm not. I'm in late from last
night.

00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:56,Is anybody about?

00:04:57,260 --> 00:05:00,Mummy's gone upstairs and old man
River's in the kitchen.

00:05:01,660 --> 00:05:02,Do me a favour, Sal.

00:05:02,861 --> 00:05:05,Get rid of him and I'll creep in through
the back.

00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:06,I'll do my best.

00:05:07,300 --> 00:05:11,Who were you talking to?

00:05:11,481 --> 00:05:12,Talking to?

00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,Yes, you know, with your mouth.

00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:19,Oh, yes. It was, um, next door's dog. I
was just saying hello to him through the

00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,letterbox.

00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:22,He's not cocking his leg up, is he?

00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,Did he?

00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:34,I know it's hard getting newspaper boys,
but this is ridiculous.

00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,Are you going upstairs now?

00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:37,I wasn't.

00:05:37,751 --> 00:05:39,Aren't you going to have a shave?

00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:40,I had one this morning.

00:05:40,660 --> 00:05:41,How about a bath?

00:05:41,711 --> 00:05:43,I had one of those last night.

00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:45,But, Daddy, did you... And I brushed my
teeth, yes.

00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:11,Jinsky.

00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:12,Hello, Dad.

00:06:14,030 --> 00:06:15,Taking your shoes for a walk?

00:06:15,530 --> 00:06:18,No, no, I've just been cleaning them.
I've been up for ages.

00:06:18,730 --> 00:06:20,Ever since you went out last night?

00:06:21,290 --> 00:06:22,I don't dig you, Dad.

00:06:22,790 --> 00:06:23,I dig you, matey.

00:06:24,130 --> 00:06:27,You've been out on an all -night razzle,
haven't you? No, I haven't.

00:06:27,650 --> 00:06:29,Don't kid me. You're talking to the
master.

00:06:29,761 --> 00:06:32,I've been on more all -night razzles
than you've had at dinner's.

00:06:32,710 --> 00:06:35,Oh, well, Dad, you see, I went to this
party, you know. Don't bother with the

00:06:35,970 --> 00:06:38,details. If it's anything like the ones
I used to go to, it's better I don't

00:06:38,970 --> 00:06:41,know. You mean you're not going to read
me the right act?

00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:43,Why should I? I was your age myself
once. No kidding.

00:06:46,690 --> 00:06:50,Next time you come in so late, just box
a bit more clever. You might have bumped

00:06:50,590 --> 00:06:52,into your mother. And we don't want to
worry your mother, do we?

00:06:52,910 --> 00:06:54,What haven't I to worry about?

00:06:54,710 --> 00:06:55,Hello.

00:06:56,010 --> 00:06:57,It's your mother. So it is.

00:06:57,351 --> 00:07:01,Well, now we've established that fact,
what haven't I to worry about?

00:07:01,850 --> 00:07:04,Nothing. Nothing at all. Has she? No.
No, nothing at all.

00:07:05,650 --> 00:07:07,What time did you come in last night?

00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:12,Oh, well, it must have been about... No,
no, no. Now it was earlier than that.

00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,What were you doing outside?

00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,What was I doing outside where?

00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:20,The house this morning. I saw you out of
the bedroom window.

00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,I sent him to the shops.

00:07:22,581 --> 00:07:23,What for?

00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,Tobacco.

00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,Well, make your minds up. What for?

00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,Tobacco.

00:07:31,340 --> 00:07:32,Both, as a matter of fact.

00:07:33,180 --> 00:07:36,I think I'll go and get myself a cup of
coffee.

00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:42,go for your father's tobacco and
matches, put your shoes on.

00:07:48,391 --> 00:07:49,You

00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:57,nearly

00:07:57,860 --> 00:07:58,had it then.

00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,Yeah, thanks for not dropping me in it,
Dad. It's all right.

00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:03,It's time you sold a few wild oats.

00:08:04,380 --> 00:08:08,You can enjoy yourself now. You won't
have no chance after you get married.

00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,I'll bet you sowed a few wild oats in
your time, Dad.

00:08:11,740 --> 00:08:12,Sackfuls.

00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:18,They used to call me the Earl Flynn of
edgeware.

00:08:18,251 --> 00:08:22,I reckon if I hadn't g***t married and
settled down, I wouldn't have lived to

00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:23,30.

00:08:23,371 --> 00:08:26,You wouldn't like to give me a few tips,
would you, Dad?

00:08:26,580 --> 00:08:27,Yeah.

00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:28,I'll give you one right now.

00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:32,When you come in late, don't come
creeping in carrying your shoes.

00:08:32,659 --> 00:08:33,Well, what should I do?

00:08:34,179 --> 00:08:35,Make a noise.

00:08:35,230 --> 00:08:36,Hang about.

00:08:36,260 --> 00:08:37,Wake everybody up.

00:08:37,549 --> 00:08:41,Then swear blind that you couldn't sleep
and you've been up for hours. That

00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:42,wouldn't work.

00:08:42,330 --> 00:08:43,It did for me.

00:08:43,850 --> 00:08:48,You mean you've done it? Last month, the
night of the darts club boozer. I

00:08:48,470 -->...