Chance In A Million s02e01 The Taxman Cometh.eng Subtitles

00:00:02,190 --> 00:00:04,Here I go again.

00:00:04,510 --> 00:00:07,I hear the trumpet blow again.

00:00:08,470 --> 00:00:11,Oh, what a blow again.

00:00:11,530 --> 00:00:14,Taking a chance on love.

00:00:15,110 --> 00:00:18,Me right side again.

00:00:18,670 --> 00:00:21,About to take that right again.

00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,Darby -eyed again.

00:00:25,790 --> 00:00:29,Taking, taking a chance on love.

00:00:33,550 --> 00:00:34,Strange post this morning.

00:00:34,970 --> 00:00:40,Is it, Tom? Yes. G***t a pair of fishnet
stockings with underwear catalogue.

00:00:40,990 --> 00:00:44,Couple of men's items, centre pages,
might interest you.

00:00:44,950 --> 00:00:46,Oh, yes.

00:00:47,270 --> 00:00:49,Prefer something a bit looser, myself.

00:00:49,990 --> 00:00:52,Like the blood to circulate, you know.

00:00:53,190 --> 00:00:54,Say what you mean, Tom.

00:00:55,170 --> 00:00:58,It's g***t this from a local tax office.
Want me to go round?

00:00:59,050 --> 00:01:00,No idea what it's for.

00:01:00,101 --> 00:01:03,You've tied those straps underneath.

00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:04,No. And you pull them.

00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:05,No, no.

00:01:05,860 --> 00:01:08,Oh, the Incan tacks. I'm sorry.

00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:10,And then this.

00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,What's that, Tom? Exam results.

00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,I didn't know you'd taken any exams.

00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:19,Haven't. Obviously, a mistake happens to
me all the time. I g***t a certificate

00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,from Heidelberg University once.

00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:23,Told me I could speak English.

00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,Vocabulary good, but pronunciation
needed some work.

00:01:27,260 --> 00:01:30,Also, it g***t distinction in grade four
ballet.

00:01:31,020 --> 00:01:32,What have you g***t this time?

00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:35,O -level Portuguese.

00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:37,Oh, g***t an F.

00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:42,Failed. Oh, I ** sorry, John.

00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:43,Not really bothered.

00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:48,I learned Portuguese once. Really? Mr.
Henstridge from the library wanted to

00:01:48,810 --> 00:01:50,take me there on holiday.

00:01:50,011 --> 00:01:53,He had some friends in Oporto who'd
helped him once when his biplane crashed

00:01:53,930 --> 00:01:56,the 1923 London to Moscow air race.

00:01:56,270 --> 00:02:00,Really? He said he knew of this little
shepherd's lodge in the Alto Duro where

00:02:00,710 --> 00:02:05,you could sample the rough red local
wine and revitalize your bodily energies

00:02:05,970 --> 00:02:07,the clean, fresh mountain air.

00:02:08,669 --> 00:02:11,But then his pile started up again and
we never saw him again.

00:02:11,830 --> 00:02:13,A letter from your parents?

00:02:13,570 --> 00:02:16,I broke the news to them last week that
I was moving in here.

00:02:16,510 --> 00:02:20,Is Mother not too worried? Well, Daddy
said she's taken it quite well

00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:25,considering. Apart from crying softly
throughout the day, she gave no sign

00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:26,our heart was broken.

00:02:27,650 --> 00:02:29,That's what I expected, really.

00:02:29,690 --> 00:02:31,Shall we have some coffee, Tom? Yes,
yes.

00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,Wonder why I failed.

00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,Oh, it's not your fault, Tom. She's just
a very neurotic woman.

00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:38,No, no.

00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:39,O -level Portuguese.

00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:42,Annoying, somehow.

00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:46,Oh, and believe me, Tom, it's not the
language one uses very often.

00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:50,I mean, the likelihood of either of us
having to speak Portuguese... Oh, front

00:02:50,740 --> 00:02:51,door, yeah.

00:02:51,460 --> 00:02:53,Well, good ask for remark, I suppose.

00:02:54,620 --> 00:02:58,Good appeal to Board of Examiners to
reconsider their verdict.

00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:04,Ah, help you, Tom.

00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:05,Um,

00:03:08,540 --> 00:03:11,speak any English.

00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,No,

00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:17,I see, yes.

00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:22,Yes, I say. Alison, a bit of a problem
here.

00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:24,Yeah.

00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:27,Tom, I pulled your cape.

00:03:29,740 --> 00:03:31,Had a feeling they might be.

00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:33,Any idea what they want?

00:03:33,441 --> 00:03:34,I don't know.

00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:35,I'll ask them.

00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:38,Oaky, oaky, dizzy, ja?

00:03:39,540 --> 00:03:42,Ah, somos o António e Manuela Gonçalves.

00:03:43,260 --> 00:03:45,Viemos de Portugal para trabalhar no seu
hotel.

00:03:45,820 --> 00:03:49,Tengo uma viagem muito grande e a minha
mulher está muito cansada.

00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:51,They seem to think you're a hotel car.

00:03:52,060 --> 00:03:54,Hotel? No, no, afraid not.

00:03:55,740 --> 00:04:00,If you like a hotel, suggest Majestic.
Third turning on the right, then next on

00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:03,the left, past the traffic light. Very
reasonable prices.

00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:05,Suggest to avoid the fish.

00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:07,OK. The fish.

00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:12,Not usually very well done, though. Tom,
they're not looking for somewhere to

00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:15,stay. According to this, they've come
from Portugal to work as hotel staff.

00:04:16,540 --> 00:04:17,Ah, wrong address.

00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:20,Well, no, Tom, according to this,
they've come to the right address.

00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:23,Bellevue House, 41 Venables Avenue.

00:04:23,820 --> 00:04:27,Ah. Well, better come in, then. It could
take some while to sort out. Right.

00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:29,Bienvenue, comrade.

00:04:29,490 --> 00:04:30,That's the ball.

00:04:30,930 --> 00:04:31,Just grab it.

00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:44,Oh, Tom,

00:04:44,930 --> 00:04:51,according to Antonio, they've come
straight from the boat, pausing only to

00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:55,buy something for their sandwiches, and
they've... Come to the wrong town.

00:04:55,710 --> 00:04:58,And they don't seem to know what the
right town is.

00:05:00,770 --> 00:05:04,And he wishes he stayed in his little
mountain village tending his second

00:05:05,330 --> 00:05:06,He's trying to agree.

00:05:09,070 --> 00:05:10,He's not happy, Tom.

00:05:14,850 --> 00:05:17,He's not happy at all, Tom. What are we
going to do?

00:05:17,321 --> 00:05:22,Obviously can't throw them out on
streets. Better tell them, stay here

00:05:22,290 --> 00:05:23,things sort it out. Oh, right.

00:05:23,930 --> 00:05:25,I'm sure they'll be reassured.

00:05:50,210 --> 00:05:52,You've not had a lot of dealings with
us, Mr. Chance.

00:05:53,210 --> 00:05:59,According to your returns here, your
total contribution in tax since 1969 is

00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:01,something less than 23 pounds.

00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:04,Never begrudged a penny of it.

00:06:04,591 --> 00:06:08,I hope you'll forgive me, Mr. Chance,
but I'm still somewhat puzzled as to

00:06:08,230 --> 00:06:09,main source of income.

00:06:10,090 --> 00:06:15,How actually you managed to survive from
day to day. Not easy. Not easy at all.

00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,Still, man of frugal taste.

00:06:17,790 --> 00:06:20,Few vices. One or two small investments.

00:06:20,830 --> 00:06:21,Aha.

00:06:22,190 --> 00:06:23,And what exactly are they?

00:06:23,710 --> 00:06:27,Well, main source of income presently
comes from premium bonds.

00:06:27,910 --> 00:06:29,How many of them do you have?

00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:30,Ten. Ten?

00:06:32,290 --> 00:06:36,You're telling me that ten premium bonds
win enough each year for you to live

00:06:36,510 --> 00:06:40,on? Not exactly, no. Four of them never
won anything at all.

00:06:40,690 --> 00:06:43,Thinking of getting rid of them,
actually. Sort of sentimental

00:06:44,230 --> 00:06:46,Shall I show you a list of winning
numbers?

00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:49,This is incredible.

00:06:50,490 --> 00:06:51,Certainly been lucky.

00:06:51,830 --> 00:06:55,Coincidence. My speciality. Well, this
is very good news, Mr. Chance. Very good

00:06:55,730 --> 00:06:56,news indeed.

00:06:56,950 --> 00:07:01,I'm happy to say that as you seem to be
able to support yourself, albeit in a

00:07:01,450 --> 00:07:05,somewhat bizarre manner, I'm prepared to
allow you to marry my daughter.

00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:10,Pardon? I've pencilled in the 15th. In
the circumstances, speed is of the

00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:11,essence. It's a Saturday.

00:07:11,941 --> 00:07:16,279...