Chance In A Million s01e04 The Birthday Party.eng Subtitles
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00:00:02,410 --> 00:00:04,Here I go again.
00:00:04,710 --> 00:00:07,I hear the trumpet blow again.
00:00:08,690 --> 00:00:11,Oh, what a blow again.
00:00:11,710 --> 00:00:14,Taking a chance on love.
00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:18,Here I slide again.
00:00:18,870 --> 00:00:21,About to take that ride again.
00:00:23,570 --> 00:00:25,Darby, I'd again.
00:00:25,930 --> 00:00:29,Taking, taking a chance on love.
00:00:35,239 --> 00:00:36,Hodgekiss? Yes?
00:00:36,580 --> 00:00:40,Mr. Hodgekiss, just checking food.
Little worried by two things.
00:00:40,721 --> 00:00:41,Oh, yes.
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,Firstly, blue bottle in cheese dip.
00:00:44,481 --> 00:00:46,What's he doing here, then?
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:47,Breaststroke.
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:53,Not doing anything at all, Mr.
Hodgekiss. Lying on its back, legs in
00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:54,Dead, in fact.
00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:58,Secondly, large black slug in green
tallow.
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,That's right. They're everywhere.
00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:02,Should get a few screams.
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:04,Yes, very probably.
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,Going to remove them?
00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:07,Course I'm not.
00:01:08,180 --> 00:01:09,I put them there.
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:13,Gives the guests something to talk
about. Helps break the ice.
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,They're only plastic, you know.
00:01:15,521 --> 00:01:16,Ah, really?
00:01:16,620 --> 00:01:19,Yeah, well, it's a very competitive
game, the catering business.
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:22,You've g***t to have some sort of gimmick
to get yourself talked about.
00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:25,Usually I sprinkle a few sheep and
rabbit droppings in amongst the dishes
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,well. I thought you might think that was
Virgin on the tasteless.
00:01:30,270 --> 00:01:34,I don't like to seem ungrateful, Sir
Hodgkiss, but perhaps could do without
00:01:34,570 --> 00:01:36,novelties on this occasion.
00:01:36,350 --> 00:01:37,I see.
00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:41,Oh, well, it's your party, of course.
No, no, no. Exactly the point. Not my
00:01:41,870 --> 00:01:42,party at all.
00:01:43,090 --> 00:01:45,Surprise birthday party for girlfriend.
00:01:46,290 --> 00:01:50,Invited. All her friends don't like to
upset them. I see. It ought to explain.
00:01:51,070 --> 00:01:52,Better sit down.
00:01:52,290 --> 00:01:55,Ah, delivery woman with birthday cake.
00:02:03,330 --> 00:02:04,Yes? Help you?
00:02:05,610 --> 00:02:08,It's happy birthday greetings. I've been
to you this way.
00:02:08,441 --> 00:02:10,I've been to you this way. I've been to
you this way. I've been to you this way.
00:02:10,789 --> 00:02:13,I've been to you this way. I've been to
you this way.
00:02:13,190 --> 00:02:18,Happy birthday to you.
00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:20,Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday,
dear Alison.
00:02:21,710 --> 00:02:23,You're not Alison, are you?
00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:26,No.
00:02:26,161 --> 00:02:29,Don't tell me I've g***t the wrong address
again.
00:02:29,370 --> 00:02:30,Uh, no.
00:02:30,370 --> 00:02:31,Um, singing...
00:02:32,450 --> 00:02:33,Telegram? That's right.
00:02:33,710 --> 00:02:34,Thank God for that.
00:02:34,761 --> 00:02:37,Now, do you want me to come inside, or
are you going to bring the lady out? No,
00:02:37,470 --> 00:02:41,um, ordered for nine o 'clock at seven
hours early.
00:02:41,990 --> 00:02:43,Well, not to worry, eh?
00:02:43,350 --> 00:02:44,No, um, perhaps not.
00:02:45,030 --> 00:02:50,Also, um, ordered quite clearly by
phone, telegram to be delivered by Roman
00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:54,Centurion. Ah, well, I'm having problems
with that one, you see. My
00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:57,breastplate's a bit tight and my greaves
keep falling down.
00:02:57,090 --> 00:02:59,But I think you'll find the lady will
like this one.
00:02:59,660 --> 00:03:03,Yes, very possibly. Find out at nine o
'clock. Yes?
00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:06,Good. Hang on. Do you want me to do it,
then?
00:03:06,340 --> 00:03:08,Ah, sorry. Obviously not explained very
clearly.
00:03:09,140 --> 00:03:13,Having surprise birthday party. Lots of
things happening.
00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:14,Tight schedule.
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:17,You organized for nine o 'clock.
00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:21,All right. Oh, right. So I'll hang
around that side of it, then, shall I?
00:03:22,140 --> 00:03:23,Good. Thank you.
00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,Well, my name's Barry Alcott, by the
way.
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:26,Oh, dear.
00:03:26,531 --> 00:03:29,In case you ever want to use me again,
it's a good idea to ask them at the
00:03:29,940 --> 00:03:30,agency by name.
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:35,We're on a commission, you see. Barry
Alcock, it is. Right. Not likely to
00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:36,that one.
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,Good right.
00:03:38,940 --> 00:03:39,Yes.
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:47,Wanted to explain something to you.
Since childhood, suffered from delicate
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:52,problem, like the test. I'll tell you
about it. Yes. Been persistently plagued
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,by coincidence.
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:59,any attempt to organise events such as
this doomed failure in consequence.
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:04,So, hoping to avoid tragedy by handing
entire organisation over to you.
00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:09,Ah, at last, delivery woman with
birthday cake.
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:10,Just a moment.
00:04:10,491 --> 00:04:15,It's happy birthday with you, it's happy
birthday with you, it's happy birthday
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:18,with you, it's happy birthday with you,
it's happy birthday with you. All gone.
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,All gone. All gone.
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:26,Nine o 'clock. Yes.
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,Isn't it? Oh, my watch must have
stopped.
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,I put it right before I... Here. Alarm
clock.
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:35,Set for nine o 'clock. Oh, thank you.
00:04:35,121 --> 00:04:39,By the way, would you like to settle
your bill now? Save embarrassment later
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:43,It's hardly likely going to hand money
over to ignorant little Tutter who turns
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:48,up seven hours early but instantly
delivers message to the wrong person.
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:50,Oh, right.
00:04:51,220 --> 00:04:53,Nine o 'clock then. Nine o 'clock.
00:04:58,190 --> 00:05:03,Typical example. Must be hundreds of
singing telegrams. Have to get one with
00:05:03,310 --> 00:05:04,soil between the ears.
00:05:05,550 --> 00:05:07,Now, schedule.
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,Party starts half past seven.
00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:16,Not here personally, picking up Alison.
You, two main jobs. One, birthday cake
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:22,ready, candles lit. Birthday cake ready,
candles lit. Secondly, receive guests
00:05:22,870 --> 00:05:23,at door.
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,G***t guest list?
00:05:25,370 --> 00:05:26,Oh, yeah. Get that somewhere.
00:05:28,630 --> 00:05:29,Um, Hodgkiss?
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:33,What exactly is that?
00:05:34,550 --> 00:05:35,Oh,
00:05:35,950 --> 00:05:39,that? Yeah, well, that's just in case
there's any trouble.
00:05:39,531 --> 00:05:44,You don't get far in a catering game
unless you know how to deal with the
00:05:44,790 --> 00:05:46,unwanted guest.
00:05:46,770 --> 00:05:51,Yeah, but you needn't worry. What kind
of party exactly are you expecting?
00:05:51,930 --> 00:05:53,Oh, damned idiot!
00:05:53,990 --> 00:05:55,Whinging little tonk!
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:06,I do two hours overtime to get it
finished, spend 40 minutes on a crowded
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:11,walk half a mile in a pair of new shoes
that have come close to crippling me,
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:17,and miss crossroads into the bargain.
Well, if that's your attitude, you can
00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:21,take your bloody cake and you can stuff
it.
00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:22,Excuse me.
00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:28,Cancel a bit about birthday cake.
00:06:41,290 --> 00:06:44,She's not here yet, then? No, Mr.
Wingent. Quite sure?
00:06:44,450 --> 00:06:47,I'm quite sure, Mr. Wingent. I'll be in
my office.
00:06:47,550 --> 00:06:48,Yes, Mr. Wingent.
00:07:06,670 --> 00:07:07,Had they turned up yet?
00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:10,Who? Your man, Tom.
00:07:10,390 --> 00:07:14,He is not my man, as you put it, Sandra.
Well, I just thought you said he was
00:07:14,490 --> 00:07:17,calling in to talk about taking you out
tonight.
00:07:17,151 -->...
00:00:04,710 --> 00:00:07,I hear the trumpet blow again.
00:00:08,690 --> 00:00:11,Oh, what a blow again.
00:00:11,710 --> 00:00:14,Taking a chance on love.
00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:18,Here I slide again.
00:00:18,870 --> 00:00:21,About to take that ride again.
00:00:23,570 --> 00:00:25,Darby, I'd again.
00:00:25,930 --> 00:00:29,Taking, taking a chance on love.
00:00:35,239 --> 00:00:36,Hodgekiss? Yes?
00:00:36,580 --> 00:00:40,Mr. Hodgekiss, just checking food.
Little worried by two things.
00:00:40,721 --> 00:00:41,Oh, yes.
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,Firstly, blue bottle in cheese dip.
00:00:44,481 --> 00:00:46,What's he doing here, then?
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:47,Breaststroke.
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:53,Not doing anything at all, Mr.
Hodgekiss. Lying on its back, legs in
00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:54,Dead, in fact.
00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:58,Secondly, large black slug in green
tallow.
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,That's right. They're everywhere.
00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:02,Should get a few screams.
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:04,Yes, very probably.
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,Going to remove them?
00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:07,Course I'm not.
00:01:08,180 --> 00:01:09,I put them there.
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:13,Gives the guests something to talk
about. Helps break the ice.
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,They're only plastic, you know.
00:01:15,521 --> 00:01:16,Ah, really?
00:01:16,620 --> 00:01:19,Yeah, well, it's a very competitive
game, the catering business.
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:22,You've g***t to have some sort of gimmick
to get yourself talked about.
00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:25,Usually I sprinkle a few sheep and
rabbit droppings in amongst the dishes
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,well. I thought you might think that was
Virgin on the tasteless.
00:01:30,270 --> 00:01:34,I don't like to seem ungrateful, Sir
Hodgkiss, but perhaps could do without
00:01:34,570 --> 00:01:36,novelties on this occasion.
00:01:36,350 --> 00:01:37,I see.
00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:41,Oh, well, it's your party, of course.
No, no, no. Exactly the point. Not my
00:01:41,870 --> 00:01:42,party at all.
00:01:43,090 --> 00:01:45,Surprise birthday party for girlfriend.
00:01:46,290 --> 00:01:50,Invited. All her friends don't like to
upset them. I see. It ought to explain.
00:01:51,070 --> 00:01:52,Better sit down.
00:01:52,290 --> 00:01:55,Ah, delivery woman with birthday cake.
00:02:03,330 --> 00:02:04,Yes? Help you?
00:02:05,610 --> 00:02:08,It's happy birthday greetings. I've been
to you this way.
00:02:08,441 --> 00:02:10,I've been to you this way. I've been to
you this way. I've been to you this way.
00:02:10,789 --> 00:02:13,I've been to you this way. I've been to
you this way.
00:02:13,190 --> 00:02:18,Happy birthday to you.
00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:20,Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday,
dear Alison.
00:02:21,710 --> 00:02:23,You're not Alison, are you?
00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:26,No.
00:02:26,161 --> 00:02:29,Don't tell me I've g***t the wrong address
again.
00:02:29,370 --> 00:02:30,Uh, no.
00:02:30,370 --> 00:02:31,Um, singing...
00:02:32,450 --> 00:02:33,Telegram? That's right.
00:02:33,710 --> 00:02:34,Thank God for that.
00:02:34,761 --> 00:02:37,Now, do you want me to come inside, or
are you going to bring the lady out? No,
00:02:37,470 --> 00:02:41,um, ordered for nine o 'clock at seven
hours early.
00:02:41,990 --> 00:02:43,Well, not to worry, eh?
00:02:43,350 --> 00:02:44,No, um, perhaps not.
00:02:45,030 --> 00:02:50,Also, um, ordered quite clearly by
phone, telegram to be delivered by Roman
00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:54,Centurion. Ah, well, I'm having problems
with that one, you see. My
00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:57,breastplate's a bit tight and my greaves
keep falling down.
00:02:57,090 --> 00:02:59,But I think you'll find the lady will
like this one.
00:02:59,660 --> 00:03:03,Yes, very possibly. Find out at nine o
'clock. Yes?
00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:06,Good. Hang on. Do you want me to do it,
then?
00:03:06,340 --> 00:03:08,Ah, sorry. Obviously not explained very
clearly.
00:03:09,140 --> 00:03:13,Having surprise birthday party. Lots of
things happening.
00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:14,Tight schedule.
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:17,You organized for nine o 'clock.
00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:21,All right. Oh, right. So I'll hang
around that side of it, then, shall I?
00:03:22,140 --> 00:03:23,Good. Thank you.
00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,Well, my name's Barry Alcott, by the
way.
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:26,Oh, dear.
00:03:26,531 --> 00:03:29,In case you ever want to use me again,
it's a good idea to ask them at the
00:03:29,940 --> 00:03:30,agency by name.
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:35,We're on a commission, you see. Barry
Alcock, it is. Right. Not likely to
00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:36,that one.
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,Good right.
00:03:38,940 --> 00:03:39,Yes.
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:47,Wanted to explain something to you.
Since childhood, suffered from delicate
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:52,problem, like the test. I'll tell you
about it. Yes. Been persistently plagued
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,by coincidence.
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:59,any attempt to organise events such as
this doomed failure in consequence.
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:04,So, hoping to avoid tragedy by handing
entire organisation over to you.
00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:09,Ah, at last, delivery woman with
birthday cake.
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:10,Just a moment.
00:04:10,491 --> 00:04:15,It's happy birthday with you, it's happy
birthday with you, it's happy birthday
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:18,with you, it's happy birthday with you,
it's happy birthday with you. All gone.
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,All gone. All gone.
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:26,Nine o 'clock. Yes.
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,Isn't it? Oh, my watch must have
stopped.
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,I put it right before I... Here. Alarm
clock.
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:35,Set for nine o 'clock. Oh, thank you.
00:04:35,121 --> 00:04:39,By the way, would you like to settle
your bill now? Save embarrassment later
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:43,It's hardly likely going to hand money
over to ignorant little Tutter who turns
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:48,up seven hours early but instantly
delivers message to the wrong person.
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:50,Oh, right.
00:04:51,220 --> 00:04:53,Nine o 'clock then. Nine o 'clock.
00:04:58,190 --> 00:05:03,Typical example. Must be hundreds of
singing telegrams. Have to get one with
00:05:03,310 --> 00:05:04,soil between the ears.
00:05:05,550 --> 00:05:07,Now, schedule.
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,Party starts half past seven.
00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:16,Not here personally, picking up Alison.
You, two main jobs. One, birthday cake
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:22,ready, candles lit. Birthday cake ready,
candles lit. Secondly, receive guests
00:05:22,870 --> 00:05:23,at door.
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,G***t guest list?
00:05:25,370 --> 00:05:26,Oh, yeah. Get that somewhere.
00:05:28,630 --> 00:05:29,Um, Hodgkiss?
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:33,What exactly is that?
00:05:34,550 --> 00:05:35,Oh,
00:05:35,950 --> 00:05:39,that? Yeah, well, that's just in case
there's any trouble.
00:05:39,531 --> 00:05:44,You don't get far in a catering game
unless you know how to deal with the
00:05:44,790 --> 00:05:46,unwanted guest.
00:05:46,770 --> 00:05:51,Yeah, but you needn't worry. What kind
of party exactly are you expecting?
00:05:51,930 --> 00:05:53,Oh, damned idiot!
00:05:53,990 --> 00:05:55,Whinging little tonk!
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:06,I do two hours overtime to get it
finished, spend 40 minutes on a crowded
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:11,walk half a mile in a pair of new shoes
that have come close to crippling me,
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:17,and miss crossroads into the bargain.
Well, if that's your attitude, you can
00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:21,take your bloody cake and you can stuff
it.
00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:22,Excuse me.
00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:28,Cancel a bit about birthday cake.
00:06:41,290 --> 00:06:44,She's not here yet, then? No, Mr.
Wingent. Quite sure?
00:06:44,450 --> 00:06:47,I'm quite sure, Mr. Wingent. I'll be in
my office.
00:06:47,550 --> 00:06:48,Yes, Mr. Wingent.
00:07:06,670 --> 00:07:07,Had they turned up yet?
00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:10,Who? Your man, Tom.
00:07:10,390 --> 00:07:14,He is not my man, as you put it, Sandra.
Well, I just thought you said he was
00:07:14,490 --> 00:07:17,calling in to talk about taking you out
tonight.
00:07:17,151 -->...
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