family_matters_s03e12_a_pair_of_ladies Subtitles
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00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:08,Mom, that's too long. Him and I are
short this year.
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:11,Still too long.
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:15,Keep going.
00:00:17,140 --> 00:00:19,Laura, are there going to be boys at
this party?
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:20,Of course.
00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:24,Perfect.
00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:41,It's a rare condition this day and age
to read any good news on the newspaper
00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:44,page. Love and tradition of the grand
design.
00:00:45,060 --> 00:00:48,Some people say it's even harder to
find.
00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:55,Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these kids of war.
00:00:56,840 --> 00:01:03,Because all I see is a tower of dreams.
Real love bursting out of heaven.
00:01:08,340 --> 00:01:12,We're going to fill our house with
happiness.
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:19,We'll smother the blues with tenderness.
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:28,There's room for you, room for me, for
gentle hearts and opportunity.
00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,It's the bigger love of the family.
00:01:50,580 --> 00:01:52,Hi, guys. Hi, Randy Charlesburg.
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,Oh, it was a nightmare.
00:01:55,220 --> 00:01:59,I lost two waitresses. Gladys quit and I
had to fire Loretta.
00:01:59,980 --> 00:02:02,Loretta? Yeah, she was feeling food.
00:02:02,930 --> 00:02:05,Went to hug her goodnight and a ham fell
out of her dress.
00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:10,You sure look wiped out. Oh, girl, I **.
00:02:10,910 --> 00:02:13,You know, I don't know if I can last
until I can hire new help.
00:02:13,690 --> 00:02:15,Well, that's no problem, my Rachel. I
can work a few nights.
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:18,Oh, Laura, thank you. You're a
lifesaver.
00:02:18,910 --> 00:02:24,I tell you, my feet ache, my back is
sore, my head is throbbing. Rachel, I
00:02:24,630 --> 00:02:26,help out, too. But it's not that bad.
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,Tomorrow is Carl's poker night, and I'd
be thrilled to get out of the house. No,
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,really, Harriet. It's not necessary.
00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:39,Rachel, are you trying to say you don't
want my help?
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:42,I'm not trying to say it.
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:43,I said it.
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:46,Why?
00:02:46,620 --> 00:02:49,Harriet, we don't work well together.
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,What do you mean?
00:02:53,070 --> 00:02:56,You can be abrasive, Harriet. You know,
whenever there's a disagreement, you
00:02:56,530 --> 00:02:58,just have a tendency to be rather blunt
and harsh.
00:02:59,290 --> 00:03:02,Now, Rachel, I'm going to be your new
waitress. I don't want to hear another
00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:03,thing about it. Discussion closed.
00:03:04,550 --> 00:03:06,Great. I hired Harriet the hunt.
00:03:18,750 --> 00:03:19,Yellow.
00:03:20,130 --> 00:03:21,Polka central.
00:03:22,529 --> 00:03:24,McCormick, where are you? You're holding
up the game.
00:03:25,650 --> 00:03:26,Say what?
00:03:26,770 --> 00:03:27,Hold on a sec.
00:03:28,010 --> 00:03:29,Hey, guys.
00:03:29,010 --> 00:03:30,McCormick's wife just went into labor.
00:03:30,930 --> 00:03:33,He wants to know if he should come here
or go to the hospital first.
00:03:35,190 --> 00:03:36,How far apart are the contractions?
00:03:39,690 --> 00:03:40,McCormick, go to the hospital.
00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:42,Good luck and congratulations.
00:03:44,530 --> 00:03:46,Well, we're down to four players.
00:03:47,420 --> 00:03:50,Before I make the lousy game, we've g***t
to find somebody else. Who are we going
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,to get on short notice? Hey, I'm
desperate. I'll take anyone.
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:54,Hello, there we are.
00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:59,Hey, what's your plan, big guy?
00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:02,Canasta? Animal rummy? Crazy eight?
00:04:04,220 --> 00:04:05,No, Steve.
00:04:05,180 --> 00:04:06,It's poker.
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:07,You want to join us?
00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:10,I know can do, Lou. I came for the
beauteous Laura.
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,Well, Laura isn't here. She and Harry
went to help out at Rachel's place
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:16,tonight. Oh, pity, pity, pity.
00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:20,I thought she might enjoy watching me
buy my new accordion.
00:04:21,490 --> 00:04:28,I finally saved up enough to buy the
pearl -enlaid Morse plastic poker
00:04:29,810 --> 00:04:32,Well, she'll be sorry she missed you.
00:04:33,990 --> 00:04:36,How much you g***t there?
00:04:37,650 --> 00:04:38,$327.
00:04:39,430 --> 00:04:40,Sit down.
00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:44,Handling poker.
00:04:44,790 --> 00:04:45,Yeah!
00:04:47,630 --> 00:04:50,Hey, guys, wait a minute. He's just a
kid. Let's not take advantage.
00:04:50,930 --> 00:04:53,Relax, Winslow. It's just a fun,
friendly game.
00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:59,Oh, a bunch of guys shuffling the 52s,
talking sports and skirts, eh? I .e.,
00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:00,male bonding.
00:05:01,430 --> 00:05:02,All that and more.
00:05:03,150 --> 00:05:05,Well, if it's just for fun, count me in,
amigos.
00:05:06,430 --> 00:05:09,Now, how does this work? Well, first you
gotta b***e some chips.
00:05:09,730 --> 00:05:10,Okay.
00:05:11,350 --> 00:05:13,Oh, red, white, and blue.
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,I didn't know poker was so patriotic.
00:05:16,570 --> 00:05:19,Sergeant George Randolph. Oh, Steve
Urkel. Put her there.
00:05:19,670 --> 00:05:20,Fred Yamano.
00:05:20,730 --> 00:05:21,Ah, Steve Urkel. Put her there.
00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:32,What do you say?
00:05:35,330 --> 00:05:36,But you don't speak the emperor's
language?
00:05:37,430 --> 00:05:39,No. I was born in Omaha.
00:05:48,460 --> 00:05:52,Where the girls are, the ferrets, and
the boys are, the ferrets, and the boys
00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:53,are.
00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:55,Ooh,
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,a 25 -bit tip.
00:06:07,060 --> 00:06:08,I can take that away on vacation now.
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:16,Somebody pick up this book. What do you
think? I'm looking for practice here.
00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:26,Uh -huh. Did you rearrange the
storeroom? Yep. Now, everything is where
00:06:26,830 --> 00:06:27,should be.
00:06:27,630 --> 00:06:31,But, Harriet, it took me months to
organize it just the way I wanted it. It
00:06:31,690 --> 00:06:33,all wrong. My way is much more
practical.
00:06:34,790 --> 00:06:35,Oh, really?
00:06:36,070 --> 00:06:38,Then why did you put the mayonnaise and
pickles under J?
00:06:39,470 --> 00:06:40,Because they're in jar.
00:06:42,210 --> 00:06:45,Then why is the jar of jelly under F?
00:06:45,930 --> 00:06:46,Because it's strawberry.
00:06:47,730 --> 00:06:49,Harriet, I... Rachel, Rachel, Rachel.
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:53,You're the owner... and you can stand
and do nothing. But me, I've g***t a hash
00:06:53,070 --> 00:06:54,sling. Wait a minute.
00:06:54,730 --> 00:06:56,We don't serve hash.
00:06:57,470 --> 00:06:58,We do now.
00:07:04,650 --> 00:07:05,It's more possible straight.
00:07:06,110 --> 00:07:07,Steve takes the seven.
00:07:07,290 --> 00:07:08,Oh, yeah,
00:07:12,770 --> 00:07:13,poker face.
00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:17,Hey, no help, I d***n straight.
00:07:18,190 --> 00:07:19,Can I take the five?
00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:20,Pass showing.
00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:21,Dealer takes the jack.
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:23,No apparent help.
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:24,Your bet, kid.
00:07:57,130 --> 00:07:58,I make it. Cheers.
00:08:00,050 --> 00:08:01,I'm out.
00:08:01,050 --> 00:08:02,Call.
00:08:02,370 --> 00:08:07,Well, as Sir Edmund Hillary used to say,
this is getting pretty steep.
00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:09,Oh, but what the heck, I'm in.
00:08:12,290 --> 00:08:14,Last card. Down and dirty.
00:08:17,290 --> 00:08:18,Whoa, Nellie! Oh,
00:08:20,010 --> 00:08:22,I did everything I g***t.
00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:26,You don't scare me, kid.
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:28,I call.
00:08:29,140 --> 00:08:30,Two reds for my blood.
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:32,What do you g***t?
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:36,Three tens and two sevens.
00:08:38,159 --> 00:08:39,What's that again, big guy?
00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:40,A crowded condo?
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,A full house.
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:44,Oh, yeah.
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:51,What do you g***t?
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:55,Oh, I only have two pairs.
00:08:58,540 --> 00:09:03,Two pairs of five. I win.
137...
short this year.
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:11,Still too long.
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:15,Keep going.
00:00:17,140 --> 00:00:19,Laura, are there going to be boys at
this party?
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:20,Of course.
00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:24,Perfect.
00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:41,It's a rare condition this day and age
to read any good news on the newspaper
00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:44,page. Love and tradition of the grand
design.
00:00:45,060 --> 00:00:48,Some people say it's even harder to
find.
00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:55,Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these kids of war.
00:00:56,840 --> 00:01:03,Because all I see is a tower of dreams.
Real love bursting out of heaven.
00:01:08,340 --> 00:01:12,We're going to fill our house with
happiness.
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:19,We'll smother the blues with tenderness.
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:28,There's room for you, room for me, for
gentle hearts and opportunity.
00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,It's the bigger love of the family.
00:01:50,580 --> 00:01:52,Hi, guys. Hi, Randy Charlesburg.
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,Oh, it was a nightmare.
00:01:55,220 --> 00:01:59,I lost two waitresses. Gladys quit and I
had to fire Loretta.
00:01:59,980 --> 00:02:02,Loretta? Yeah, she was feeling food.
00:02:02,930 --> 00:02:05,Went to hug her goodnight and a ham fell
out of her dress.
00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:10,You sure look wiped out. Oh, girl, I **.
00:02:10,910 --> 00:02:13,You know, I don't know if I can last
until I can hire new help.
00:02:13,690 --> 00:02:15,Well, that's no problem, my Rachel. I
can work a few nights.
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:18,Oh, Laura, thank you. You're a
lifesaver.
00:02:18,910 --> 00:02:24,I tell you, my feet ache, my back is
sore, my head is throbbing. Rachel, I
00:02:24,630 --> 00:02:26,help out, too. But it's not that bad.
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,Tomorrow is Carl's poker night, and I'd
be thrilled to get out of the house. No,
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,really, Harriet. It's not necessary.
00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:39,Rachel, are you trying to say you don't
want my help?
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:42,I'm not trying to say it.
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:43,I said it.
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:46,Why?
00:02:46,620 --> 00:02:49,Harriet, we don't work well together.
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,What do you mean?
00:02:53,070 --> 00:02:56,You can be abrasive, Harriet. You know,
whenever there's a disagreement, you
00:02:56,530 --> 00:02:58,just have a tendency to be rather blunt
and harsh.
00:02:59,290 --> 00:03:02,Now, Rachel, I'm going to be your new
waitress. I don't want to hear another
00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:03,thing about it. Discussion closed.
00:03:04,550 --> 00:03:06,Great. I hired Harriet the hunt.
00:03:18,750 --> 00:03:19,Yellow.
00:03:20,130 --> 00:03:21,Polka central.
00:03:22,529 --> 00:03:24,McCormick, where are you? You're holding
up the game.
00:03:25,650 --> 00:03:26,Say what?
00:03:26,770 --> 00:03:27,Hold on a sec.
00:03:28,010 --> 00:03:29,Hey, guys.
00:03:29,010 --> 00:03:30,McCormick's wife just went into labor.
00:03:30,930 --> 00:03:33,He wants to know if he should come here
or go to the hospital first.
00:03:35,190 --> 00:03:36,How far apart are the contractions?
00:03:39,690 --> 00:03:40,McCormick, go to the hospital.
00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:42,Good luck and congratulations.
00:03:44,530 --> 00:03:46,Well, we're down to four players.
00:03:47,420 --> 00:03:50,Before I make the lousy game, we've g***t
to find somebody else. Who are we going
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,to get on short notice? Hey, I'm
desperate. I'll take anyone.
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:54,Hello, there we are.
00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:59,Hey, what's your plan, big guy?
00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:02,Canasta? Animal rummy? Crazy eight?
00:04:04,220 --> 00:04:05,No, Steve.
00:04:05,180 --> 00:04:06,It's poker.
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:07,You want to join us?
00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:10,I know can do, Lou. I came for the
beauteous Laura.
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,Well, Laura isn't here. She and Harry
went to help out at Rachel's place
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:16,tonight. Oh, pity, pity, pity.
00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:20,I thought she might enjoy watching me
buy my new accordion.
00:04:21,490 --> 00:04:28,I finally saved up enough to buy the
pearl -enlaid Morse plastic poker
00:04:29,810 --> 00:04:32,Well, she'll be sorry she missed you.
00:04:33,990 --> 00:04:36,How much you g***t there?
00:04:37,650 --> 00:04:38,$327.
00:04:39,430 --> 00:04:40,Sit down.
00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:44,Handling poker.
00:04:44,790 --> 00:04:45,Yeah!
00:04:47,630 --> 00:04:50,Hey, guys, wait a minute. He's just a
kid. Let's not take advantage.
00:04:50,930 --> 00:04:53,Relax, Winslow. It's just a fun,
friendly game.
00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:59,Oh, a bunch of guys shuffling the 52s,
talking sports and skirts, eh? I .e.,
00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:00,male bonding.
00:05:01,430 --> 00:05:02,All that and more.
00:05:03,150 --> 00:05:05,Well, if it's just for fun, count me in,
amigos.
00:05:06,430 --> 00:05:09,Now, how does this work? Well, first you
gotta b***e some chips.
00:05:09,730 --> 00:05:10,Okay.
00:05:11,350 --> 00:05:13,Oh, red, white, and blue.
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,I didn't know poker was so patriotic.
00:05:16,570 --> 00:05:19,Sergeant George Randolph. Oh, Steve
Urkel. Put her there.
00:05:19,670 --> 00:05:20,Fred Yamano.
00:05:20,730 --> 00:05:21,Ah, Steve Urkel. Put her there.
00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:32,What do you say?
00:05:35,330 --> 00:05:36,But you don't speak the emperor's
language?
00:05:37,430 --> 00:05:39,No. I was born in Omaha.
00:05:48,460 --> 00:05:52,Where the girls are, the ferrets, and
the boys are, the ferrets, and the boys
00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:53,are.
00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:55,Ooh,
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,a 25 -bit tip.
00:06:07,060 --> 00:06:08,I can take that away on vacation now.
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:16,Somebody pick up this book. What do you
think? I'm looking for practice here.
00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:26,Uh -huh. Did you rearrange the
storeroom? Yep. Now, everything is where
00:06:26,830 --> 00:06:27,should be.
00:06:27,630 --> 00:06:31,But, Harriet, it took me months to
organize it just the way I wanted it. It
00:06:31,690 --> 00:06:33,all wrong. My way is much more
practical.
00:06:34,790 --> 00:06:35,Oh, really?
00:06:36,070 --> 00:06:38,Then why did you put the mayonnaise and
pickles under J?
00:06:39,470 --> 00:06:40,Because they're in jar.
00:06:42,210 --> 00:06:45,Then why is the jar of jelly under F?
00:06:45,930 --> 00:06:46,Because it's strawberry.
00:06:47,730 --> 00:06:49,Harriet, I... Rachel, Rachel, Rachel.
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:53,You're the owner... and you can stand
and do nothing. But me, I've g***t a hash
00:06:53,070 --> 00:06:54,sling. Wait a minute.
00:06:54,730 --> 00:06:56,We don't serve hash.
00:06:57,470 --> 00:06:58,We do now.
00:07:04,650 --> 00:07:05,It's more possible straight.
00:07:06,110 --> 00:07:07,Steve takes the seven.
00:07:07,290 --> 00:07:08,Oh, yeah,
00:07:12,770 --> 00:07:13,poker face.
00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:17,Hey, no help, I d***n straight.
00:07:18,190 --> 00:07:19,Can I take the five?
00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:20,Pass showing.
00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:21,Dealer takes the jack.
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:23,No apparent help.
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:24,Your bet, kid.
00:07:57,130 --> 00:07:58,I make it. Cheers.
00:08:00,050 --> 00:08:01,I'm out.
00:08:01,050 --> 00:08:02,Call.
00:08:02,370 --> 00:08:07,Well, as Sir Edmund Hillary used to say,
this is getting pretty steep.
00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:09,Oh, but what the heck, I'm in.
00:08:12,290 --> 00:08:14,Last card. Down and dirty.
00:08:17,290 --> 00:08:18,Whoa, Nellie! Oh,
00:08:20,010 --> 00:08:22,I did everything I g***t.
00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:26,You don't scare me, kid.
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:28,I call.
00:08:29,140 --> 00:08:30,Two reds for my blood.
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:32,What do you g***t?
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:36,Three tens and two sevens.
00:08:38,159 --> 00:08:39,What's that again, big guy?
00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:40,A crowded condo?
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,A full house.
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:44,Oh, yeah.
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:51,What do you g***t?
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:55,Oh, I only have two pairs.
00:08:58,540 --> 00:09:03,Two pairs of five. I win.
137...
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