family_matters_s04e03_driving_carl_crazy Subtitles

00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:21,A bit of bubbly, my sweet.

00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:24,Let it flow.

00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:27,Harriet. Huh?

00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:31,How long has it been since we've had
Coppa de Winslow to ourselves?

00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,Well, let's just put it this way.

00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:36,A Democrat was president.

00:00:47,980 --> 00:00:48,How you doing, big guy?

00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:50,Go home.

00:00:51,020 --> 00:00:52,Go home now!

00:00:54,860 --> 00:00:57,I can't. I've g***t big news.

00:00:57,540 --> 00:01:01,I just completed a 100 -hour trumpet
course. And boy, are my lips tired.

00:01:04,860 --> 00:01:08,Steve, can we talk man to pest?

00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,Talk away, big guy.

00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,Well, you see, the wife and I, we...

00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:18,We're lonely for each other.

00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:21,Ow.

00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:23,Ow.

00:01:28,020 --> 00:01:29,Ow!

00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,You dog, you go.

00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,Ow!

00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:41,Well,

00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,say no more, Officer Don Juan.

00:01:46,090 --> 00:01:51,Let me serenade you two lovebirds with
my special rendition of The Lonely Bull.

00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:44,Did I do that?

00:02:56,680 --> 00:03:03,It's so rare conditions this day and age
to read any good news on the newspaper

00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:09,page. And love and tradition of the
grand design some people say is even

00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:10,to find.

00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:17,Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.

00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:22,Cause all I see is a tower of dreams.

00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,Real love bursting out of everything.

00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:34,It's the bigger love of the family.

00:03:45,290 --> 00:03:46,Go home, Steve.

00:03:46,610 --> 00:03:50,Why? You just shattered an expensive
bottle of wine.

00:03:51,370 --> 00:03:55,Expensive? Oh, no offense, Carl, but I
saw the label. The Chateau Stop and

00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:56,Oh, come on.

00:03:57,870 --> 00:03:59,Go home, go home, go home.

00:04:00,330 --> 00:04:02,I don't ever take this. I'm going home.

00:04:10,670 --> 00:04:12,Harriet, look at this mess.

00:04:13,250 --> 00:04:14,I have had it.

00:04:14,890 --> 00:04:17,Carl, calm down. I won't calm down.

00:04:17,529 --> 00:04:20,Harriet, that kid is the bane of my
existence.

00:04:20,470 --> 00:04:24,He waltzes in here like he owns the
place and always with some ridiculous

00:04:24,070 --> 00:04:25,greeting.

00:04:25,350 --> 00:04:26,Hidey -ho, neighbors!

00:04:27,990 --> 00:04:29,Happy duty, Winslows!

00:04:30,690 --> 00:04:32,Rise and shine, big guy!

00:04:32,930 --> 00:04:33,Carl,

00:04:34,290 --> 00:04:35,take it easy.

00:04:35,490 --> 00:04:36,I can't.

00:04:36,490 --> 00:04:39,Harriet, that kid... Whoa.

00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:40,Carl, what's wrong?

00:04:41,270 --> 00:04:42,Carl, I don't know. I'm dizzy.

00:04:42,890 --> 00:04:43,Sit down, Carl.

00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:44,Whoa, sit down.

00:04:45,380 --> 00:04:46,Now breathe, Steve.

00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:53,Oh, this doesn't make sense. I always
feel great after I kick Steve out.

00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,Carl, I'm calling the doctor. No, no,
no, no, no, no.

00:04:58,220 --> 00:05:01,No, I, uh... I'm feeling better already.

00:05:02,540 --> 00:05:04,Promise me you're gonna go see Dr. Van
Lowe tomorrow.

00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:06,I will, sweetheart.

00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:07,First thing tomorrow.

00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,Now come to Papa Mama.

00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:20,my pants.

00:05:21,660 --> 00:05:27,I'm too s***y for my shirt. Too s***y for
my pants. Too s***y for my shoes.

00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:32,I'm too s***y for my cat. Too s***y for my
balls.

00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:35,On the catwalk.

00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:39,On the catwalk. I shake my little tush
on the catwalk.

00:05:40,220 --> 00:05:41,On the catwalk.

00:05:41,780 --> 00:05:43,On the catwalk. Oh,

00:05:44,540 --> 00:05:47,yes, my succulent sweetie. You're not
too s***y for anything.

00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:53,Now, where are your pretty little toes
taking you? To the mall, and the answer

00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:54,is no.

00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,I don't know. What was the question?

00:05:56,420 --> 00:05:58,Can I go to the mall with you? Sure,
baby. Let's go.

00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:04,Too s***y for my shirt.

00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:07,Too s***y for my clothes.

00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:09,Too s***y for my friends.

00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:15,And, uh... Daddy, your favorite sister
needs a ride in her big brother's car.

00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,Well, why didn't Judy just ask me
herself?

00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,Very funny. I meant me.

00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:27,Boy, not having a car is whack. I'm
telling you, the next guy with wheels

00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:29,asks me out is going to be my new
steady.

00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:32,Hi,

00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:39,everybody.

00:06:40,220 --> 00:06:41,Hey, Carl.

00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:44,Carl, I've been thinking about you all
day.

00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,Did you go see the doctor? Yep.

00:06:46,510 --> 00:06:47,I'm fine. You are?

00:06:48,090 --> 00:06:49,Mm -hmm. Well, what did he say?

00:06:49,150 --> 00:06:52,Well, he said that my blood pressure is
a skulch too high.

00:06:56,130 --> 00:06:57,How high is the dose?

00:06:58,670 --> 00:06:59,160 over 98.

00:07:01,230 --> 00:07:02,Is that high?

00:07:02,530 --> 00:07:04,Not if you're a flying Walinda.

00:07:05,850 --> 00:07:06,I'm fine, really.

00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:11,You see, whenever I lose my cool, my
blood pressure goes sky high.

00:07:11,550 --> 00:07:14,So all I have to do is simply control my
temper.

00:07:15,820 --> 00:07:16,Yeah, that's going to be tough.

00:07:17,780 --> 00:07:19,What are you saying I can't do it?

00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:20,Carl,

00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:22,calm down.

00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,Oh, popped off there a little.

00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:28,Can't do that anymore.

00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:35,You know, Carl, you need to learn stress
management.

00:07:35,900 --> 00:07:37,I'm way ahead of you.

00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:38,See this little booklet?

00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:42,I picked it up at the doctor's office.
It's called Stress Busters.

00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,Does it have any good tips?

00:07:44,860 --> 00:07:45,Oh, yeah.

00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:46,And here's the best one.

00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:51,You see, whenever I get angry, I just
recite this little poem. It calms me

00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:54,Three, two, one.

00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:56,One, two, three.

00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,What the heck is bothering me?

00:08:03,260 --> 00:08:04,Come on, come on.

00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:07,What's going on?

00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:09,Steve has a surprise for you.

00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:11,Oh, no.

00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:14,Did he sculpt my likeness out of compost
again?

00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,No, but this will give you just as many
nightmares.

00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:46,How much did you pay for this thing?

00:08:47,140 --> 00:08:50,Nothing. My Uncle Cecil gave me 50 bucks
to take it away.

00:08:52,940 --> 00:08:53,Wait a minute.

00:08:54,220 --> 00:08:55,I've seen this thing before.

00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:57,You have?

00:08:57,700 --> 00:08:58,Yeah.

00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,This is the car all the clowns get out
of at the circus.

00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:05,Hey, there's a clown in it now.

00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,Oh, that was so funny, I forgot to
laugh.

00:09:11,620 --> 00:09:14,But seriously, C, who makes this car?

00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:19,BMW. A beamer, babe.

00:09:20,110 --> 00:09:21,A 1960.

00:09:21,870 --> 00:09:23,I said I.

00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:26,I said it. That's what I said, huh?

00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,Bye.

00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:31,Not so fast, missy.

00:09:32,730 --> 00:09:37,Now, you said the next guy with wheels
who asked you out would be your boy toy.

00:09:37,530 --> 00:09:40,Well, this is the toy, and I'm your boy.

00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:45,Steve, you don't even know how to drive.

00:09:45,510 --> 00:09:46,So I learned.

00:09:47,180 --> 00:09:50,Give it up, Steve. You had 20 accidents
last year just walking.

00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:56,Uh -uh. She's right. She's right. But...