family_matters_s04e06_whose_kid_is_it_anyway Subtitles
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00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,Mary's pumpkin contest. And this year,
our esteemed judges are Carl Winslow
00:00:06,380 --> 00:00:10,and Steve Urkel.
00:00:14,220 --> 00:00:18,Well, I'm proud to be included in this
family's charming pagan ceremony.
00:00:20,260 --> 00:00:21,Okay, let the contest begin.
00:00:31,470 --> 00:00:32,carved by me and my mom.
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:37,And the last pumpkin was carved by me
and Eddie.
00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:45,Well, there's your winner.
00:00:57,970 --> 00:00:59,It's a rare condition.
00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:04,This day and age to read any good news
on the newspaper page.
00:01:05,019 --> 00:01:11,And love and tradition of the grand
design. Some people say it's even harder
00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:12,find.
00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:18,Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:26,Because all I see is a tower of dreams.
Real love bursting out of everything.
00:01:32,780 --> 00:01:35,The bigger love of the family.
00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:58,Good morning.
00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:01,Okay, so I'm a little late. Get off my
back.
00:02:04,780 --> 00:02:06,Sorry, it's just that I didn't sleep
again last night.
00:02:07,420 --> 00:02:08,Honey, that's the third night in a row.
00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:10,Maybe you should call a doctor.
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:14,Carl, he'll just say, get some sleep and
then charge us a hundred bucks.
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:19,It's just that I want you to be ready to
rock and roll at the policeman's
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,Halloween bash tomorrow.
00:02:23,420 --> 00:02:26,You know how they always look forward to
us getting on top of the table and
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:27,doing the famous Winslow rumba?
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,You didn't notice last year, but they
pulled their guns on us.
00:02:43,950 --> 00:02:47,Rachel, you may have to carry the rumba
banner this year.
00:02:47,930 --> 00:02:50,Can't, Carl. I'm taking Ritzy trick -or
-treating.
00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:53,No, you're not. I'm going with Eddie.
00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:54,What?
00:02:55,950 --> 00:02:58,Yeah, you promised me a long time ago.
00:03:00,150 --> 00:03:02,Remember the time I loaned you $2?
00:03:03,730 --> 00:03:07,Oh, I'm sorry. Richie, I forgot all
about that.
00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:10,Waldo and I are going to Daryl Jackson's
Halloween party.
00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:12,Oh.
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:20,Yo,
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,Richmeister.
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:28,Yeah? Be ready by six o 'clock, okay?
00:03:46,780 --> 00:03:48,Carl. Carl.
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,Carl! What?
00:03:58,600 --> 00:03:59,Honey, are you awake?
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,Well, I **.
00:04:12,330 --> 00:04:14,You can't sleep, so I can't sleep
either, right?
00:04:15,710 --> 00:04:16,I knew you'd understand.
00:04:23,670 --> 00:04:24,Steve, is that you?
00:04:25,530 --> 00:04:26,Well, it ain't the tooth fairy.
00:04:29,210 --> 00:04:31,Oh, it's official. This is the night
from hell.
00:04:33,810 --> 00:04:36,Hey, big guy. Greetings, mother of the
woman I love.
00:04:37,530 --> 00:04:39,Steve, what are you doing here?
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:42,Well, my mother... Motion sensor device
was triggered, so I came over to
00:04:42,940 --> 00:04:43,investigate.
00:04:44,620 --> 00:04:45,Motion sensor device?
00:04:46,140 --> 00:04:49,Yeah. It's a little doohickey I cooked
up to keep track of my favorite family.
00:04:50,980 --> 00:04:54,Either way, Carl, there hasn't been much
motion in this room lately.
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,Well, I've been having this back
problem, okay?
00:05:03,860 --> 00:05:07,Every couple of months it goes out on me
and... Why ** I explaining this to you?
00:05:12,390 --> 00:05:13,What?
00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:16,I can't sleep. I need somebody to talk
to.
00:05:16,770 --> 00:05:18,Ah, insomnia.
00:05:20,530 --> 00:05:21,Harriet, he's getting a chair.
00:05:44,490 --> 00:05:45,Tell me.
00:05:46,070 --> 00:05:48,He listens to relaxation tapes.
00:05:50,210 --> 00:05:55,His favorite is Sounds of the Amazon
Rainforest.
00:05:56,030 --> 00:05:58,Ooh, I bet that is...
00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:27,buy this tape.
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:31,Oh, piss toss. I'll make you a copy and
bring it over. Oh, thank you, Steve.
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,Now, what can I get for you, Carl?
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:36,Some oysters.
00:07:04,270 --> 00:07:05,Spider -Man.
00:07:05,030 --> 00:07:05,Ready to go?
00:07:05,910 --> 00:07:08,I was born ready. I'm in candy or dry.
00:07:13,790 --> 00:07:15,Trick or treat.
00:07:24,990 --> 00:07:25,What's up, Waldo?
00:07:27,230 --> 00:07:28,How'd you know it was me?
00:07:30,710 --> 00:07:31,Lucky guess.
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,Care to ride up the Nile on my bars?
00:07:45,620 --> 00:07:49,Hey, Miss Crawford, in this light, you
look exactly like Cleopatra.
00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:05,Winslow, who are you supposed to be?
Shirley Temple Black.
00:08:29,290 --> 00:08:30,Wow, Zorro. Can I have your autograph?
00:08:33,830 --> 00:08:35,Waldo, it's me, Carl Winslow.
00:08:36,470 --> 00:08:38,Dude, your dad is Zorro.
00:08:44,150 --> 00:08:46,Come on, let's go to the party so we can
boogie all night.
00:08:47,670 --> 00:08:51,Richie, you have a great time trick -or
-treating, okay?
00:09:00,810 --> 00:09:02,More trick -or -treaters.
00:09:07,210 --> 00:09:08,Jump back.
00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:10,Hi.
00:09:10,510 --> 00:09:11,Right back at you.
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:14,I wonder if you can help me.
00:09:14,670 --> 00:09:15,No wonder no more, baby.
00:09:16,170 --> 00:09:17,Eddie Winslow here at your service.
00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:19,I'm Angela.
00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:21,I'm glad.
00:09:23,550 --> 00:09:24,Thank you.
00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:29,I'm going to a party at the Jackson
House, but I can't find it. Oh, you see,
00:09:29,060 --> 00:09:31,that's because it's a very difficult
house to find.
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:37,No, it isn't. It's where I g***t the...
Perhaps I should escort you
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,personally just to make sure you're
safe.
00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:41,Thanks a lot.
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:45,See, I'm a friend of a friend, and I
won't know anyone at this party.
00:09:45,380 --> 00:09:46,Of course you will.
00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:47,You'll know me.
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:51,Now, put yourself in part, but keep that
motor running.
00:09:59,020 --> 00:10:00,She's drop -dead gorgeous.
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,I don't know why you're so impressed.
00:10:02,580 --> 00:10:04,For God's sakes, man, your father is
Zorro.
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:14,Change your plans, Waldo. I need you to
take Richie trick -or -treating.
00:10:14,820 --> 00:10:19,Eddie, you promised to take me. I know,
Richie, but you'll have just as much fun
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:20,if you go with your Uncle Waldo.
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:24,The guy thinks your father is Zorro.
00:10:30,890 --> 00:10:33,I know, Richie, but don't worry. I'll
make it up to you. I promise.
00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:39,Come with me into the night, my little
mistress of the dark.
00:10:41,810 --> 00:10:42,Ready to go, Richie?
00:10:43,070 --> 00:10:44,I guess.
00:10:59,230 --> 00:11:00,Steve, wait!
00:11:49,420 --> 00:11:50,He went to a party.
00:11:50,620 --> 00:11:53,You mean he ducked out on Richie? Yeah,
big time.
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,just peachy. Wongo, you brought back the
Wong can.
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:28,Hello, Daryl.
00:12:29,140 --> 00:12:31,This is Waldo Geraldo Faldo.
00:12:32,020 --> 00:12:33,Is Eddie Winslow there?
00:12:34,060 --> 00:12:35,You know, Zorro's kid.
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:38,Well, tell him to holler home now.
00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:43,Waldo, how could you make such a
mistake?
00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:44,I don't know.
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,I do remember a woman with a small kid
dressed like Spider -Man.
00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:52,There was something different about her.
00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:55,Might she have been Chinese?
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:06,Yo,
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,this better be good. I was just about to
sink my teeth in Angela's neck.
00:13:11,180 --> 00:13:12,Who is this?
00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:17,Ah, this is Tommy. You see, Waldo...
left with Richie, but he came back with
00:13:17,890 --> 00:13:18,Tommy.
00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:21,Well, then...
our esteemed judges are Carl Winslow
00:00:06,380 --> 00:00:10,and Steve Urkel.
00:00:14,220 --> 00:00:18,Well, I'm proud to be included in this
family's charming pagan ceremony.
00:00:20,260 --> 00:00:21,Okay, let the contest begin.
00:00:31,470 --> 00:00:32,carved by me and my mom.
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:37,And the last pumpkin was carved by me
and Eddie.
00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:45,Well, there's your winner.
00:00:57,970 --> 00:00:59,It's a rare condition.
00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:04,This day and age to read any good news
on the newspaper page.
00:01:05,019 --> 00:01:11,And love and tradition of the grand
design. Some people say it's even harder
00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:12,find.
00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:18,Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:26,Because all I see is a tower of dreams.
Real love bursting out of everything.
00:01:32,780 --> 00:01:35,The bigger love of the family.
00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:58,Good morning.
00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:01,Okay, so I'm a little late. Get off my
back.
00:02:04,780 --> 00:02:06,Sorry, it's just that I didn't sleep
again last night.
00:02:07,420 --> 00:02:08,Honey, that's the third night in a row.
00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:10,Maybe you should call a doctor.
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:14,Carl, he'll just say, get some sleep and
then charge us a hundred bucks.
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:19,It's just that I want you to be ready to
rock and roll at the policeman's
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,Halloween bash tomorrow.
00:02:23,420 --> 00:02:26,You know how they always look forward to
us getting on top of the table and
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:27,doing the famous Winslow rumba?
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,You didn't notice last year, but they
pulled their guns on us.
00:02:43,950 --> 00:02:47,Rachel, you may have to carry the rumba
banner this year.
00:02:47,930 --> 00:02:50,Can't, Carl. I'm taking Ritzy trick -or
-treating.
00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:53,No, you're not. I'm going with Eddie.
00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:54,What?
00:02:55,950 --> 00:02:58,Yeah, you promised me a long time ago.
00:03:00,150 --> 00:03:02,Remember the time I loaned you $2?
00:03:03,730 --> 00:03:07,Oh, I'm sorry. Richie, I forgot all
about that.
00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:10,Waldo and I are going to Daryl Jackson's
Halloween party.
00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:12,Oh.
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:20,Yo,
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,Richmeister.
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:28,Yeah? Be ready by six o 'clock, okay?
00:03:46,780 --> 00:03:48,Carl. Carl.
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,Carl! What?
00:03:58,600 --> 00:03:59,Honey, are you awake?
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,Well, I **.
00:04:12,330 --> 00:04:14,You can't sleep, so I can't sleep
either, right?
00:04:15,710 --> 00:04:16,I knew you'd understand.
00:04:23,670 --> 00:04:24,Steve, is that you?
00:04:25,530 --> 00:04:26,Well, it ain't the tooth fairy.
00:04:29,210 --> 00:04:31,Oh, it's official. This is the night
from hell.
00:04:33,810 --> 00:04:36,Hey, big guy. Greetings, mother of the
woman I love.
00:04:37,530 --> 00:04:39,Steve, what are you doing here?
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:42,Well, my mother... Motion sensor device
was triggered, so I came over to
00:04:42,940 --> 00:04:43,investigate.
00:04:44,620 --> 00:04:45,Motion sensor device?
00:04:46,140 --> 00:04:49,Yeah. It's a little doohickey I cooked
up to keep track of my favorite family.
00:04:50,980 --> 00:04:54,Either way, Carl, there hasn't been much
motion in this room lately.
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,Well, I've been having this back
problem, okay?
00:05:03,860 --> 00:05:07,Every couple of months it goes out on me
and... Why ** I explaining this to you?
00:05:12,390 --> 00:05:13,What?
00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:16,I can't sleep. I need somebody to talk
to.
00:05:16,770 --> 00:05:18,Ah, insomnia.
00:05:20,530 --> 00:05:21,Harriet, he's getting a chair.
00:05:44,490 --> 00:05:45,Tell me.
00:05:46,070 --> 00:05:48,He listens to relaxation tapes.
00:05:50,210 --> 00:05:55,His favorite is Sounds of the Amazon
Rainforest.
00:05:56,030 --> 00:05:58,Ooh, I bet that is...
00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:27,buy this tape.
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:31,Oh, piss toss. I'll make you a copy and
bring it over. Oh, thank you, Steve.
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,Now, what can I get for you, Carl?
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:36,Some oysters.
00:07:04,270 --> 00:07:05,Spider -Man.
00:07:05,030 --> 00:07:05,Ready to go?
00:07:05,910 --> 00:07:08,I was born ready. I'm in candy or dry.
00:07:13,790 --> 00:07:15,Trick or treat.
00:07:24,990 --> 00:07:25,What's up, Waldo?
00:07:27,230 --> 00:07:28,How'd you know it was me?
00:07:30,710 --> 00:07:31,Lucky guess.
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,Care to ride up the Nile on my bars?
00:07:45,620 --> 00:07:49,Hey, Miss Crawford, in this light, you
look exactly like Cleopatra.
00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:05,Winslow, who are you supposed to be?
Shirley Temple Black.
00:08:29,290 --> 00:08:30,Wow, Zorro. Can I have your autograph?
00:08:33,830 --> 00:08:35,Waldo, it's me, Carl Winslow.
00:08:36,470 --> 00:08:38,Dude, your dad is Zorro.
00:08:44,150 --> 00:08:46,Come on, let's go to the party so we can
boogie all night.
00:08:47,670 --> 00:08:51,Richie, you have a great time trick -or
-treating, okay?
00:09:00,810 --> 00:09:02,More trick -or -treaters.
00:09:07,210 --> 00:09:08,Jump back.
00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:10,Hi.
00:09:10,510 --> 00:09:11,Right back at you.
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:14,I wonder if you can help me.
00:09:14,670 --> 00:09:15,No wonder no more, baby.
00:09:16,170 --> 00:09:17,Eddie Winslow here at your service.
00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:19,I'm Angela.
00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:21,I'm glad.
00:09:23,550 --> 00:09:24,Thank you.
00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:29,I'm going to a party at the Jackson
House, but I can't find it. Oh, you see,
00:09:29,060 --> 00:09:31,that's because it's a very difficult
house to find.
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:37,No, it isn't. It's where I g***t the...
Perhaps I should escort you
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,personally just to make sure you're
safe.
00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:41,Thanks a lot.
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:45,See, I'm a friend of a friend, and I
won't know anyone at this party.
00:09:45,380 --> 00:09:46,Of course you will.
00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:47,You'll know me.
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:51,Now, put yourself in part, but keep that
motor running.
00:09:59,020 --> 00:10:00,She's drop -dead gorgeous.
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,I don't know why you're so impressed.
00:10:02,580 --> 00:10:04,For God's sakes, man, your father is
Zorro.
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:14,Change your plans, Waldo. I need you to
take Richie trick -or -treating.
00:10:14,820 --> 00:10:19,Eddie, you promised to take me. I know,
Richie, but you'll have just as much fun
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:20,if you go with your Uncle Waldo.
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:24,The guy thinks your father is Zorro.
00:10:30,890 --> 00:10:33,I know, Richie, but don't worry. I'll
make it up to you. I promise.
00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:39,Come with me into the night, my little
mistress of the dark.
00:10:41,810 --> 00:10:42,Ready to go, Richie?
00:10:43,070 --> 00:10:44,I guess.
00:10:59,230 --> 00:11:00,Steve, wait!
00:11:49,420 --> 00:11:50,He went to a party.
00:11:50,620 --> 00:11:53,You mean he ducked out on Richie? Yeah,
big time.
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,just peachy. Wongo, you brought back the
Wong can.
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:28,Hello, Daryl.
00:12:29,140 --> 00:12:31,This is Waldo Geraldo Faldo.
00:12:32,020 --> 00:12:33,Is Eddie Winslow there?
00:12:34,060 --> 00:12:35,You know, Zorro's kid.
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:38,Well, tell him to holler home now.
00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:43,Waldo, how could you make such a
mistake?
00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:44,I don't know.
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,I do remember a woman with a small kid
dressed like Spider -Man.
00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:52,There was something different about her.
00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:55,Might she have been Chinese?
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:06,Yo,
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,this better be good. I was just about to
sink my teeth in Angela's neck.
00:13:11,180 --> 00:13:12,Who is this?
00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:17,Ah, this is Tommy. You see, Waldo...
left with Richie, but he came back with
00:13:17,890 --> 00:13:18,Tommy.
00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:21,Well, then...
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