Only When I Laugh s01e07 Is There A Doctor In The House Subtitles

At 00:00:22,410, Character said: I'm H -A -P -P -Y.

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At 00:00:26,410, Character said: I'm H -A -P -P -Y.

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At 00:00:29,550, Character said: I know I **, I'm sure I **.

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At 00:00:33,890, Character said: I'm H -A -P -P -Y.

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At 00:00:36,990, Character said: I know I **, I'm sure I **. He's H -A -P
-P -Y.

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At 00:00:52,830, Character said: You know, it's amazing the way the
stomach can digest tripe, isn't it?

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At 00:00:57,630, Character said: You wouldn't talk about tripe. I don't
like tripe. I know, but if you could,

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At 00:01:01,030, Character said: could digest it. And that's amazing when
you think about it. Why is it?

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At 00:01:04,650, Character said: Because that's what tripe is.

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At 00:01:06,430, Character said: Stomach lining.

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At 00:01:07,130, Character said: I mean, how can you digest tripe and
leave your stomach? You'd think they'd

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At 00:01:10,730, Character said: go the same way.

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At 00:01:12,170, Character said: In which case, when you came to your
pudding, it'd fall straight through.

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At 00:01:17,110, Character said: Of course, you know what the answer is,
don't you?

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At 00:01:19,670, Character said: Mucus.

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At 00:01:22,740, Character said: What's the matter? Don't you want it?

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At 00:01:23,920, Character said: I suddenly don't feel very hungry.

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At 00:01:25,880, Character said: You want to watch that, you know. You're
supposed to be building up your

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At 00:01:28,280, Character said: strength. I don't like this loss of
appetite.

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At 00:01:31,000, Character said: Oh, please, Fig, don't start diagnosing
me again. I've had quite enough of your

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At 00:01:34,080, Character said: medical facts for one day. You told that
man in X -ray he had hydrophobia.

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At 00:01:37,940, Character said: No, I didn't. Just said there was a
possibility he had trouble swallowing.

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At 00:01:41,400, Character said: did when you finished with him. He had
trouble standing up.

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At 00:01:45,120, Character said: What about Archie? What about him?

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At 00:01:47,150, Character said: You've been waiting for him to peel over
ever since the operation. You've

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At 00:01:49,830, Character said: diagnosed creeping paralysis, prostrate
gland and angina. You've pronounced him

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At 00:01:54,350, Character said: dead twice.

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At 00:01:55,730, Character said: I wouldn't mind, but you always said he
was a hypochondriac. I know he's a

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At 00:02:00,070, Character said: hypochondriac, but what you've g***t there
is that rarity in medical practice, the

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At 00:02:04,390, Character said: doctor's dilemma, a sick hypochondriac.

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At 00:02:08,370, Character said: Then why are they discharging him?
Because he's cried wolf once too often,

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At 00:02:12,630, Character said: hasn't he? He's g***t that many symptoms
they can't sort him out.

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At 00:02:15,350, Character said: I feel sorry for him.

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At 00:02:17,080, Character said: He's g***t no job, no money, nowhere to
go.

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At 00:02:19,440, Character said: He could always go to his GP.

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At 00:02:20,980, Character said: Oh, do me a favour.

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At 00:02:22,440, Character said: You can't get hold of them, can you? You
have to shout your symptoms down the

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At 00:02:25,600, Character said: bleeding phone.

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At 00:02:27,040, Character said: And even if they do see you, all you
get's a dozen purple hearts. Now, I

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At 00:02:30,860, Character said: they should have kept you near for
further observation.

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At 00:02:33,700, Character said: Sorry, mate, no visitors. You're still
feeding the animals.

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At 00:02:37,960, Character said: It's Archie!

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At 00:02:39,680, Character said: Blimey, so it is. I didn't recognise you
with your clothes on.

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At 00:02:44,100, Character said: How do I look?

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At 00:02:45,220, Character said: You look...

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At 00:02:46,740, Character said: Terrific, Archie.

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At 00:02:47,760, Character said: Do you think so? Yeah.

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At 00:02:49,240, Character said: There's something missing now. What is
it? Oh, I know. It's a shooting stick.

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At 00:02:52,460, Character said: I haven't g***t a shooting stick.

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At 00:02:53,620, Character said: No, well, they do tend to make holes in
the carpets, don't they?

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At 00:02:56,180, Character said: Sir, it's a pity. You need something to
lean on. How do you feel?

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At 00:02:59,580, Character said: I feel fine.

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At 00:03:01,220, Character said: You look great.

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At 00:03:03,240, Character said: My God, you can't get beyond that tweed
jacket, can you? Trust you to be

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At 00:03:07,140, Character said: impressed by a bit of good cloth.

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At 00:03:09,080, Character said: Clothes make the man.

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At 00:03:10,300, Character said: Make him? They're probably all that's
holding him up.

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At 00:03:15,150, Character said: Blood pressure's down, the cholesterol's
down, the palpitations have gone. What

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At 00:03:18,170, Character said: about the ruddled poker in the side?

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At 00:03:19,610, Character said: I'm not going to let it worry me,
figures.

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At 00:03:21,590, Character said: I'm going to try to lead a normal life.

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At 00:03:23,690, Character said: The first thing I'm going to do is have
a stiff gin and tonic followed by a slap

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At 00:03:27,290, Character said: -up meal. Well, you take it easy. You
might finish up with your face in the

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At 00:03:30,010, Character said: ghetto. You take care of yourself.

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At 00:03:32,650, Character said: Yes. I suppose that this is goodbye.

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At 00:03:36,710, Character said: Oh, wait a minute. I've g***t something
for you.

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At 00:03:39,550, Character said: Oh. What are you going to do when you
get out?

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At 00:03:41,570, Character said: I suppose you'll have to find yourself a
job.

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At 00:03:43,790, Character said: I'm not sure.

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At 00:03:44,920, Character said: I may take a villa in the Algarve for
the summer, or possibly a cruise.

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At 00:03:49,100, Character said: I see.

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At 00:03:50,620, Character said: I'm sure you've g***t enough bus fare.

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At 00:03:53,760, Character said: As a matter of fact, I'm a bit short. I
still haven't found my checkbook. Oh,

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At 00:03:57,720, Character said: yes, the elusive checkbook. I told you,
you should have informed Interpol.

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At 00:04:01,720, Character said: Now, look here, I think it's... When
I... What's this? What's it look like?

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At 00:04:06,420, Character said: a tenner.

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At 00:04:07,060, Character said: Oh, no, really, Roy, I couldn't... Now,
go on, take it.

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At 00:04:15,050, Character said: Here you are, Archie. Oh, thank you,
Norman.

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At 00:04:20,630, Character said: That's... That's very nice.

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At 00:04:23,510, Character said: You can hang things in it. Yes, of
course. That's what I'll do.

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At 00:04:27,390, Character said: I'll hang things in it.

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At 00:04:29,610, Character said: You've g***t it upside down. Oh, yes, of
course.

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At 00:04:32,470, Character said: Oh, yes. It's very attractive.

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At 00:04:35,690, Character said: Well, I... I suppose this is goodbye.

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At 00:04:39,230, Character said: Ah! There you are. All ready.

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At 00:04:43,440, Character said: Glad to see you've made such an
excellent recovery. No blood pressure,

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At 00:04:46,960, Character said: palpitations, no red -hot pokers on the
side.

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At 00:04:49,840, Character said: Ah, I wanted to talk to you about that.

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At 00:04:52,400, Character said: Don't tell me it's come back.

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At 00:04:53,720, Character said: No, it's more like a branding iron now.

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At 00:04:56,120, Character said: Ah, well, that's an improvement, isn't
it? I think I'd rather have a branding

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At 00:04:59,860, Character said: iron than a red -hot poker.

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At 00:05:01,280, Character said: Don't worry, you're looking marvellous.
But what about my eyes?

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At 00:05:05,340, Character said: What about your eyes? Well, they seem to
be bulging. Well, of course they're

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At 00:05:08,320, Character said: bulging. It's perfectly normal.

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At 00:05:10,430, Character said: Don't forget, you haven't worn the tie
for some weeks.

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At 00:05:17,750, Character said: Clother's probably too tight.

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At 00:05:20,250, Character said: Always think of the simple explanation
first, Clother, before you come

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At 00:05:24,150, Character said: us. Now, you know the way out, don't
you?

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At 00:05:26,650, Character said: Bye -bye.

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At 00:05:29,090, Character said: Do you think he's going to be all right,
Doctor? Of course he's going to be all

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At 00:05:32,150, Character said: right.

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At 00:05:33,430, Character said: Moments like this are very rewarding. It
gives you a sense of purpose, a feeling

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At 00:05:37,330, Character said: of a job well done.

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At 00:05:38,960, Character said: They come in here thick and bent, and we
send them out tall and straight. Yeah,

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At 00:05:44,220, Character said: tall and straight and horizontal.

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At 00:05:47,800, Character said: What's that, Figgis?

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At 00:05:48,840, Character said: I can't help being worried about him,
Doc. Are you sure you haven't missed

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At 00:05:52,020, Character said: something? Of course I haven't missed
anything. We've given him every test. We

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At 00:05:55,000, Character said: couldn't keep him here forever, Figgis.
I see. You need the bed, do you? We do

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At 00:05:58,500, Character said: not need the bed.

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At 00:06:00,160, Character said: Glover has made a complete recovery and
he's been discharged.

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At 00:06:02,960, Character said: What about the eyes? They were
definitely bulging.

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At 00:06:05,360, Character said: Your eyes will be bulging in a moment. I
thought there might have been a clue in

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At 00:06:08,980, Character said: the human jigsaw puzzle. A guide in the
complex labyrinth of the body.

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At 00:06:14,020, Character said: I think it's a symptom.

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At 00:06:15,540, Character said: A symptom of what?

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At 00:06:17,520, Character said: Hashimoto's disease.

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At 00:06:22,580, Character said: Hashimoto's disease?

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At 00:06:24,140, Character said: Whatever made you think of that?

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At 00:06:25,900, Character said: Well, I thought he looked a bit yellow.

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At 00:06:29,179, Character said: Because Hashimoto's disease does not
give you an oriental appearance.

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At 00:06:32,140, Character said: That's the name of the man who
discovered it.

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