The Real ONeals s02e16 The Real Secrets.eng Subtitles

At 00:00:00,298, Character said: Kenny, your laundry's done.

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At 00:00:02,614, Character said: We ran out of all of
your organic starch,

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At 00:00:05,701, Character said: so you're just gonna have to rough it.

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At 00:00:09,138, Character said: Aah!

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At 00:00:10,272, Character said: Hello.

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At 00:00:11,161, Character said: Allison.

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At 00:00:12,608, Character said: You scared the crap out
of me. I almost hit you.

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At 00:00:15,444, Character said: It's okay. I have cat-like reflexes.

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At 00:00:17,647, Character said: Seriously, my doctor told
me it's a rare condition.

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At 00:00:20,583, Character said: Kenneth, I can't handle anything
else coming out of your closet.

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At 00:00:24,519, Character said:
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At 00:00:30,259, Character said: Would you like to explain
what your lesbian friend

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At 00:00:32,728, Character said: is doing pulling a "Stranger Things"

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At 00:00:34,363, Character said: in your bedroom?

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At 00:00:35,464, Character said: I'm sorry. I didn't tell you at first,

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At 00:00:36,932, Character said: 'cause I know she's not your favorite,

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At 00:00:38,401, Character said: but her parents are splitting up

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At 00:00:39,702, Character said: and things have been
kind of rough at home.

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At 00:00:41,337, Character said: Oh, that's a shame.

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At 00:00:42,571, Character said: Maybe you could talk to
her parents about divorce.

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At 00:00:44,607, Character said: You're kind of nailing it.

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At 00:00:46,008, Character said: Oh, no.

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At 00:00:47,076, Character said: I don't tell other people how to parent.

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At 00:00:48,878, Character said: I didn't listen when
those nosy women told me

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At 00:00:50,913, Character said: not to let Jimmy eat Styrofoam peanuts,

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At 00:00:52,748, Character said: and he turned out just fine.

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At 00:00:54,150, Character said: Really?

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At 00:00:54,884, Character said: Mm-hmm.

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At 00:00:55,685, Character said: - Jimmy!
- What's up, bro?

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At 00:00:57,453, Character said: Did you get into any of the
15 colleges you applied to?

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At 00:01:00,389, Character said: Not a one.

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At 00:01:02,591, Character said: I'm still not talking to her parents.

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At 00:01:04,718, Character said: Fine.

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At 00:01:05,804, Character said: But can she stay here,
through? She's all alone.

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At 00:01:07,788, Character said: All right, fine. She can
stay here temporarily.

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At 00:01:11,033, Character said: And she has to stop startling me.

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At 00:01:12,802, Character said: - Deal.
- Oh, God!!

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At 00:01:14,905, Character said: We'll figure it out, Eileen.

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At 00:01:18,175, Character said: Hey, man. So, why the surprise visit?

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At 00:01:20,110, Character said: Well, I need to ask you something.

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At 00:01:21,946, Character said: I'm coming up on a pretty big milestone.

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At 00:01:24,014, Character said: This week is the
one-year kiss-a-versary

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At 00:01:26,116, Character said: for me and Eileen.

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At 00:01:27,084, Character said: All right.

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At 00:01:28,252, Character said: I hadn't realized it
had been a year already,

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At 00:01:30,054, Character said: or that a kiss-a-versary was a thing.

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At 00:01:32,022, Character said: Well, it has, and it isn't.

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At 00:01:33,524, Character said: Okay, keep it together, Clive.

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At 00:01:35,125, Character said: Where are you going with this, man?

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At 00:01:36,460, Character said: I would like to ask permission

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At 00:01:38,996, Character said: for your ex-wife's hand in marriage.

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At 00:01:41,899, Character said: Just say yes or punch
me, but no name-calling.

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At 00:01:43,934, Character said: Those bruises don't heal.

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At 00:01:45,069, Character said: What? Are you kidding me?!

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At 00:01:47,805, Character said: Of course, buddy! [Laughs]

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At 00:01:49,607, Character said: Of course you have my blessing!

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At 00:01:51,542, Character said: Whoo-hoo! Oh, man!

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At 00:01:54,478, Character said: That is an a***s-ton of relief.

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At 00:01:56,347, Character said: Oh, here... Let me show you the ring.

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At 00:01:58,582, Character said: Yeah.

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At 00:01:59,483, Character said: It's the same I gave to my ex-wife

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At 00:02:01,485, Character said: that she later threw
at me from her Jetta.

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At 00:02:03,854, Character said: What do you think?

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At 00:02:04,922, Character said: Wow.

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At 00:02:05,887, Character said: I think you're lucky she
didn't hit you with the Jetta.

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At 00:02:08,292, Character said: She tried.

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At 00:02:09,460, Character said: And also, I mean, it's
g***t bad vibes from your ex.

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At 00:02:11,829, Character said: You want to give Eileen

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At 00:02:12,863, Character said: something that isn't
tainted with failure.

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At 00:02:15,633, Character said: Mother has my great-grandmother's ring.

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At 00:02:19,136, Character said: It's gorgeous.

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At 00:02:20,437, Character said: Only problem is, Mother
will never let me have it.

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At 00:02:22,572, Character said: She even hides the Bed Bath & Beyond

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At 00:02:24,074, Character said: 20% coupons from me because
she thinks I'll ruin them.

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At 00:02:26,610, Character said: Clive, we're going to your mom's
and we're getting that ring.

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At 00:02:29,647, Character said: Great. Let's also steal the coupons.

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At 00:02:31,649, Character said: I've g***t my eye on a duvet
that's just 20% too expensive.

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At 00:02:34,551, Character said: Shannon!

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At 00:02:36,553, Character said: Look what I found.

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At 00:02:37,955, Character said: A positive pregnancy test?
Where did you find that?

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At 00:02:41,625, Character said: It was in the downstairs
bathroom in the trash can.

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At 00:02:43,894, Character said: It was stuffed in the
bottom of bag of old fries.

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At 00:02:46,096, Character said: Jimmy, I thought we were
done eating trash fries.

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At 00:02:48,265, Character said: You were done.

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At 00:02:49,230, Character said: I never agreed to
that, and I never will.

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At 00:02:50,857, Character said: Well, it certainly isn't mine,

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At 00:02:52,363, Character said: and Allison is a lesbian
and clearly a virgin, so...

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At 00:02:56,340, Character said: - It's Mom's!
- It's Mom's!

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At 00:02:57,457, Character said: - Oh, God! It has Mom's pee on it!
- Ew, pregnant pee!

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At 00:02:59,538, Character said: Ahh! God!

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At 00:03:00,911, Character said: Well, Mom is obviously not
ready to share the news yet,

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At 00:03:03,480, Character said: so we better keep this to ourselves.

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At 00:03:05,291, Character said: You're right. Right.

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At 00:03:06,258, Character said: She'll tell us when she's ready.

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At 00:03:07,626, Character said: Right.

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At 00:03:08,522, Character said: And please tell me you
stopped eating the fries

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At 00:03:09,995, Character said: once you found the pee stick.

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At 00:03:11,330, Character said:

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At 00:03:15,234, Character said: I don't want to lie to you, Shannon.

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At 00:03:17,870, Character said: Now, when Mother gets
back with the cookies,

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At 00:03:19,938, Character said: I'll make an excuse to leave,
and you keep her busy in here.

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At 00:03:22,641, Character said: Clive, I literally just finished
telling you that was the plan.

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At 00:03:25,444, Character said: - I know. I'm just so excited.
- Calm down.

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At 00:03:27,446, Character said: Here we are.

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At 00:03:28,547, Character said: Victoria, I can't tell
you what a pleasure it is

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At 00:03:30,849, Character said: to finally meet the
mother of my best friend.

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At 00:03:33,319, Character said: But I have to tell you, you
look more like his sister.

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At 00:03:35,821, Character said: Oh, you flatter me.

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At 00:03:37,122, Character said: My secret is I never smile.

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At 00:03:39,359, Character said: I just look amused,

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At 00:03:40,820, Character said: and I have a deep understanding
of the female o***m.

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At 00:03:43,696, Character said: Ahh.

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At 00:03:44,997, Character said: Well, as the Chippewa say,
I have to go take a tea-pee.

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At 00:03:49,936, Character said: [Sighs]

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At 00:03:51,597, Character said: He has the same
constitution as his father...

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At 00:03:54,206, Character said: Weak and needy.

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At 00:03:55,474, Character said: And yet you are so
strong and independent.

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At 00:03:58,544, Character said: You have no idea. I was
a Rockette, you know.

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At 00:04:02,314, Character said: - Oh!
- Mm-hmm.

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At 00:04:03,582, Character said: Well, Clive has told me many
fascinating things about you,

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At 00:04:05,684, Character said: but he never mentioned... Wow!

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At 00:04:07,152, Character said: Oh, look at those high kicks.

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At 00:04:08,588, Character said: That's a flexibility
you have to be born with.

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At 00:04:11,336, Character said: I'm not sure if Clive told you,

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At 00:04:13,195, Character said: but, um, my lover Gary
and I have parted ways.

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At 00:04:16,195, Character said: He did not share that with me.

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At 00:04:17,863, Character said: That is... That's good
information to have.

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At 00:04:20,866, Character said: Shame to let all that
flexibility go to waste.

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At 00:04:26,071, Character said: Well, all done.

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At 00:04:28,103, Character said: Pat, we should probably get going.

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At 00:04:29,742, Character said: Why don't you go on ahead, Clive.

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At 00:04:30,709, Character said: I-I'll catch up.

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At 00:04:31,577, Character said: Mother. This one is mine.

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At 00:04:33,612, Character said: And, Pat, we have plans.

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At 00:04:35,647, Character said: Mm-hmm. You'll be back.

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At 00:04:39,551, Character said: Probably.

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At 00:04:40,853, Character said: If you're my friend, you won't
go past third base with her.

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At 00:04:43,088, Character said: But I think it was all
worth it for this ring.

139...