The Real ONeals s01e07 The Real Grandma.eng Subtitles

At 00:00:00,278, Character said: Kenny: The O'Neals had begun to
find the rhythm of our new life.

2
At 00:00:03,365, Character said: My father had embraced basement living

3
At 00:00:05,714, Character said: and mastered the art
of crock-pot cooking.

4
At 00:00:07,963, Character said: And my mom filled in the greens.

5
At 00:00:10,032, Character said: They worked together pretty well.

6
At 00:00:11,967, Character said: My mother had even
started referring to my sexuality

7
At 00:00:14,570, Character said: as "the situation,"

8
At 00:00:16,338, Character said: which is step 2 of the 94
steps of accepting your gay child.

9
At 00:00:19,408, Character said: Yep, things were looking
good, and then...

10
At 00:00:23,178, Character said: Agnes: I'm not tipping
you because I know

11
At 00:00:25,047, Character said: you're a millionaire
back in your own country.

12
At 00:00:27,016, Character said: Geez, who's the crazy racist?

13
At 00:00:30,185, Character said: Grandma.

14
At 00:00:33,055, Character said: Agnes: This is why I don't like cabs.

15
At 00:00:35,057, Character said: Allowing you to live in
our country is tip enough.

16
At 00:00:37,660, Character said: Grandma Agnes, mother of my mother.

17
At 00:00:40,996, Character said:
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh yo


18
At 00:00:43,198, Character said: - A straight-up Catholic gangsta.
- [Rapping]
We at war


19
At 00:00:45,434, Character said:
Jesus walk


20
At 00:00:47,202, Character said:
God, show me the way


21
At 00:00:48,604, Character said:
Because the devil's tryna break me down


22
At 00:00:50,773, Character said: -
Jesus walk with me

-
the only thing that I pray


23
At 00:00:54,009, Character said:
Is that my feet don't fail me now


24
At 00:00:56,078, Character said: Get the God box! Get the God box!

25
At 00:00:58,514, Character said: We're pretty Catholic,

26
At 00:01:00,115, Character said: but we could never be Catholic
enough for Grandma.

27
At 00:01:03,786, Character said: Yeah. Pope swap.

28
At 00:01:05,287, Character said: Francis down. John Paul up.

29
At 00:01:07,189, Character said: Why doesn't your mom ever
call before she comes?

30
At 00:01:08,624, Character said: Because then we'd be ready.

31
At 00:01:09,925, Character said: - Jimmy, scatter these bibles around.
- Yep.

32
At 00:01:11,927, Character said: - What are you wearing?
- Grandma's Easter bonnet.

33
At 00:01:14,096, Character said: This hat made me 20 bucks
and change on her last visit.

34
At 00:01:16,732, Character said: S***k-up!

35
At 00:01:18,133, Character said: I'm not here to make friends.
I'm here to play the game.

36
At 00:01:20,903, Character said: - We need to talk.
- Right now?

37
At 00:01:22,371, Character said: - We're still married.
- In the eyes of the law?

38
At 00:01:24,106, Character said: - In the eyes of my mother.
- What?! You haven't told her?!

39
At 00:01:26,408, Character said: How do you tell the world's
most sinless Catholic,

40
At 00:01:29,111, Character said: "I've decided the Bible
was wrong about marriage

41
At 00:01:31,413, Character said: and I'm going straight to hell"?

42
At 00:01:32,948, Character said: Probably not like that.

43
At 00:01:34,083, Character said: Plus I'm not just getting a divorce.

44
At 00:01:35,451, Character said: I'm divorcing the only thing
she likes about me... you.

45
At 00:01:37,786, Character said: While my mother is here,
please just be my husband.

46
At 00:01:40,622, Character said: Hey, wait a second.

47
At 00:01:41,191, Character said: I've made a new life for
myself in the basement.

48
At 00:01:42,857, Character said: I grew a mustache. I eat with my hands.

49
At 00:01:44,793, Character said: I make decisions without
fear of criticism.

50
At 00:01:46,128, Character said: Pat, you grew a mustache.
You are not a pioneer.

51
At 00:01:48,397, Character said: Her visits only last two hours.

52
At 00:01:50,099, Character said: Please, just go along
with this. And no tickling.

53
At 00:01:52,568, Character said: - What? Old women love tickling.
- What?!

54
At 00:01:54,970, Character said: -
Jesus walk

- [Doorbell rings]

55
At 00:01:57,116, Character said: Oh! One more thing. You're not gay.

56
At 00:02:00,109, Character said: Mom! So good to see you!

57
At 00:02:02,377, Character said:
The only thing that I pray is
that my feet don't fail me now


58
At 00:02:05,481, Character said: Synced and corrected by VitoSilans
- www.Addic7ed.com -

59
At 00:02:10,457, Character said: Mom!

60
At 00:02:11,283, Character said: What are you doing?

61
At 00:02:12,421, Character said: I'm hugging you.

62
At 00:02:14,123, Character said: My goodness, Pat, that mustache.

63
At 00:02:16,024, Character said: You look like a young Alex Trebek.

64
At 00:02:18,193, Character said: Oh. [Laughs]

65
At 00:02:19,394, Character said: Well, I'll take
compliments for $200, Agnes.

66
At 00:02:21,764, Character said: [Chuckles]

67
At 00:02:22,531, Character said: Stop! Stop! Stop that!

68
At 00:02:24,199, Character said: [Both laugh]

69
At 00:02:26,368, Character said: Um, quick sidebar.

70
At 00:02:27,870, Character said: Um, why haven't you
told Grandma that I'm gay

71
At 00:02:30,539, Character said: and you're getting divorced?

72
At 00:02:32,374, Character said: Well, it hasn't come up.

73
At 00:02:33,976, Character said: We talk about powerball,

74
At 00:02:35,310, Character said: what kind of stone fruit is in season.

75
At 00:02:37,146, Character said: We don't have time for idle chitchat.

76
At 00:02:38,680, Character said: Mom, you cannot keep avoiding this.

77
At 00:02:40,516, Character said: She's here now. If you
don't tell her, I will.

78
At 00:02:43,152, Character said: Man, I really miss the days

79
At 00:02:44,820, Character said: when I could shove a
binky in your mouth.

80
At 00:02:47,156, Character said: Fine. I will do it. But
let me find the right time.

81
At 00:02:49,858, Character said: Fine.

82
At 00:02:50,859, Character said: Agnes: Shannon, here's $5.

83
At 00:02:52,861, Character said: I love that bonnet.

84
At 00:02:53,962, Character said: And I love all my grandchildren.

85
At 00:02:55,664, Character said: I thought I'd have more, but
when your mother was born,

86
At 00:02:58,333, Character said: she came out wearing
my uterus like a hat.

87
At 00:03:00,636, Character said: - [Chuckles]
- Just like my bonnet!

88
At 00:03:02,371, Character said: Oh! We almost both died.

89
At 00:03:05,040, Character said: But then we didn't.

90
At 00:03:06,842, Character said: But my perfect grandbabies make up

91
At 00:03:09,211, Character said: for some of what I
lost with your mother.

92
At 00:03:11,180, Character said: [Chuckles]

93
At 00:03:12,748, Character said: What should we do first?

94
At 00:03:13,757, Character said: Oh! Well, we could play
this really cool new game

95
At 00:03:15,884, Character said: where we all talk honestly about
what's happening in our lives.

96
At 00:03:18,420, Character said: That game sounds boring.

97
At 00:03:19,822, Character said: Come on. I want to show you
my new colander in the kitchen.

98
At 00:03:22,357, Character said:



99
At 00:03:23,892, Character said: [Laughs] I have gifts for you kids!

100
At 00:03:26,428, Character said: Shannon, I brought you a coloring book

101
At 00:03:28,831, Character said: from my Sunday school.

102
At 00:03:30,232, Character said: The theme is "sins."

103
At 00:03:31,400, Character said: You see, these two men are fornicating.

104
At 00:03:33,869, Character said: And I'll give you $2
for every page you color.

105
At 00:03:36,338, Character said: Getting paid to color? What?!

106
At 00:03:38,774, Character said: And, Kenny, I brought a jar
of my famous dill pickles.

107
At 00:03:42,010, Character said: Oh, I love your pickles, Grandma.

108
At 00:03:43,545, Character said: That's because they're thick.

109
At 00:03:44,947, Character said: They have to be long and thick and hard.

110
At 00:03:46,882, Character said: That's fine, Mom.

111
At 00:03:47,883, Character said: No, no, no, no, no.

112
At 00:03:48,951, Character said: I'm okay with pickle talk.

113
At 00:03:50,419, Character said: And, Jimmy, my Bible study
group bought these clever puzzles

114
At 00:03:53,856, Character said: for all of our grandchildren.

115
At 00:03:55,624, Character said: We want to see who can solve it first.

116
At 00:03:57,192, Character said: Be first.

117
At 00:03:58,093, Character said: Neat! What is it?

118
At 00:03:59,795, Character said: It's a genius test.

119
At 00:04:01,063, Character said: You have to get rid of
all the pegs but one.

120
At 00:04:02,798, Character said: [Chuckles]

121
At 00:04:03,699, Character said: Uh...

122
At 00:04:05,200, Character said: Bam!

123
At 00:04:07,135, Character said: I'm a genius.

124
At 00:04:08,237, Character said: Oh.

125
At 00:04:09,471, Character said: I'll walk him through the
introductions, Grandma.

126
At 00:04:11,240, Character said: Kenny, sweetheart,

127
At 00:04:13,308, Character said: tell me what you've been up to lately.

128
At 00:04:15,310, Character said: Yeah, okay.

129
At 00:04:16,812, Character said: Um, well, I'd love to tell you
about it in detail, Grandma.

130
At 00:04:20,782, Character said: [Clears throat] You know how
I've always loved "Dreamgirls"?

131
At 00:04:23,285, Character said: We forgot to get cake!

132
At 00:04:24,720, Character said: Kenny, let's talk about
it in the dining room.

133
At 00:04:29,124, Character said: He always loved musicals.

134
At 00:04:31,560, Character said: Mom, you're stalling.

135
At 00:04:34,296, Character said: Trust me, it's better to
just rip the band-aid off.

136
At 00:04:36,331, Character said: You know...