The Real ONeals s02e13 The Real Confirmation.eng Subtitles

At 00:00:00,992, Character said: Kenny: Friday dinner out is a tradition

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At 00:00:03,156, Character said: my parents never believed in.

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At 00:00:04,557, Character said: But Shannon's finally
getting confirmed on Sunday,

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At 00:00:06,793, Character said: which means my mom has
set the dining-room table

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At 00:00:09,062, Character said: and the kitchen is off-limits.

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At 00:00:10,463, Character said: Now, I know I told you

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At 00:00:11,864, Character said: that your Confirmation
could be on your terms,

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At 00:00:13,700, Character said: but I have decided that
your wardrobe is still up to me.

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At 00:00:15,802, Character said: Please don't make me wear some
little-girl dress that I hate.

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At 00:00:18,604, Character said: Oh, but it's adorable!

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At 00:00:20,073, Character said: And I g***t matching pocket
squares for your brothers.

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At 00:00:21,908, Character said: Mm, I'm gonna need to see swatches,

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At 00:00:23,376, Character said: but you have my attention.

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At 00:00:24,510, Character said: I would like to dress myself.

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At 00:00:25,979, Character said: Really?

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At 00:00:27,080, Character said: Actually, no, I trust you.

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At 00:00:28,548, Character said: I just want us all to look perfect...

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At 00:00:30,316, Character said: all of us sitting there
as a family in the front pew.

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At 00:00:34,020, Character said: That is the last thing
I ask of you people.

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At 00:00:35,822, Character said: Okay, if you promise I have

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At 00:00:37,123, Character said: total control over everything else.

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At 00:00:38,891, Character said: Okay, fine. Yes. I promise.

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At 00:00:40,827, Character said: Great, because I fired
Uncle Brendan as my godfather.

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At 00:00:43,229, Character said: What?

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At 00:00:44,263, Character said: But he's your Confirmation sponsor.

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At 00:00:46,032, Character said: He's also a dud.

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At 00:00:47,200, Character said: Hey. My brother's not a dud.

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At 00:00:49,435, Character said: - He lives off the grid.
- In a yurt.

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At 00:00:51,393, Character said: His best friend is a wolf.

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At 00:00:52,805, Character said: Okay, he's a dud.

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At 00:00:54,173, Character said: But I was arguing for him.

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At 00:00:56,776, Character said: I just don't feel comfortable
saddling Aunt Jodi

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At 00:00:59,045, Character said: with a godpartner
who's so far beneath her...

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At 00:01:00,913, Character said: or me, so I fired him.

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At 00:01:02,415, Character said: You can't fire a godparent.

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At 00:01:04,183, Character said: That's true.

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At 00:01:05,351, Character said: He received his emotional severance
in Bitcoin, as requested.

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At 00:01:08,921, Character said: Besides, I already have someone
in mind to take his place.

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At 00:01:11,424, Character said: Okay. Honey, we've talked about this.

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At 00:01:13,893, Character said: Alan Greenspan is not gonna
answer your e-mails.

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At 00:01:16,462, Character said: That is the hottest woman
I've ever seen.

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At 00:01:19,499, Character said: [Gasps] Oh, my God! That's not a woman!

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At 00:01:20,967, Character said: - That's our old babysitter!
- Yeah, it's Heather!

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At 00:01:22,502, Character said: - Oh!
- [Laughing] Hey!

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At 00:01:24,003, Character said: Oh, hi, Heather. Nice to see you.

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At 00:01:25,838, Character said: Yeah. When...
When'd you get back into town?

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At 00:01:27,640, Character said: Last week. Finally finished my PhD.

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At 00:01:30,176, Character said: - Oh!
- Congrats.

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At 00:01:31,244, Character said: Thanks. Hey, Jimmy.

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At 00:01:33,012, Character said: [Chuckles] It's "James," now.
Has been for a while.

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At 00:01:35,481, Character said: This pizza is tre formaggi.

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At 00:01:38,117, Character said: - Care for a slice?
- Careful. It's hot.

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At 00:01:39,819, Character said: Ohh! Ow! Balls on fire!

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At 00:01:41,721, Character said: [High-pitched] Balls on fire!

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At 00:01:42,722, Character said: Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www. addic7ed .com

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At 00:01:46,726, Character said:


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At 00:01:49,729, Character said: Mm.

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At 00:01:51,364, Character said: Do you plan on putting the food
out a day early, too?

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At 00:01:53,566, Character said: Mm, I thought about it,
but this isn't France,

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At 00:01:55,835, Character said: so the eggs stay in the fridge
where they belong.

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At 00:01:57,637, Character said: Okay. I have an idea

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At 00:01:58,971, Character said: that would make Shannon's
Confirmation even better.

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At 00:02:00,840, Character said: Is it those top hats
that say "Confirmaniac"?

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At 00:02:03,042, Character said: 'Cause the party store ran out.

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At 00:02:04,143, Character said: - No.
- Oh.

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At 00:02:05,478, Character said: Brett as my date
to Shannon's Confirmation.

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At 00:02:07,780, Character said: Not happening.

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At 00:02:08,881, Character said: Let me guess... You still can't handle

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At 00:02:10,216, Character said: the fact that I have a boyfriend.

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At 00:02:11,517, Character said: That's not what this is about.

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At 00:02:12,718, Character said: This is about Brett not
belonging in the front pew.

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At 00:02:14,887, Character said: That's for family.

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At 00:02:16,255, Character said: Aunt Jodi always gets to bring
a date to these things.

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At 00:02:18,357, Character said: Not this time.

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At 00:02:19,625, Character said: Need I remind you of the fortune
in photoshopping it cost

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At 00:02:22,962, Character said: to replace all of her bad dates
with a Ficus

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At 00:02:25,198, Character said: in past Confirmation photos?

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At 00:02:26,999, Character said: Okay. What about VP Murray?
Aren't you bringing him?

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At 00:02:29,268, Character said: No, I'm not.

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At 00:02:30,536, Character said: You know, we're seeing
each other, and that's nice,

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At 00:02:32,605, Character said: but he doesn't belong
in the family pew yet.

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At 00:02:34,740, Character said: Things are a lot more complicated

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At 00:02:36,008, Character said: than they were when
you g***t confirmed, okay,

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At 00:02:38,010, Character said: and your sister's already
given me enough of a hard time,

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At 00:02:39,879, Character said: so this conversation's over.

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At 00:02:41,647, Character said:


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At 00:02:43,149, Character said: I'll tell you what's over...

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At 00:02:44,784, Character said: symmetry of this table.

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At 00:02:47,486, Character said: [Laughs]

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At 00:02:49,555, Character said: No.

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At 00:02:51,290, Character said: [Sighs]

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At 00:02:53,259, Character said: I know the last time you saw me

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At 00:02:55,094, Character said: I was 12 and 2 months and 4 days,

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At 00:02:56,929, Character said: but I shave now... everywhere.

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At 00:02:59,899, Character said: [Laughs]

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At 00:03:00,967, Character said: So, you built all this?

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At 00:03:02,602, Character said: Sure did. Okay. Wait for it...

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At 00:03:05,771, Character said: [Creaking]

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At 00:03:09,008, Character said: And voil?!

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At 00:03:11,444, Character said: It's pretty cool, right?

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At 00:03:12,979, Character said: I knew some guys at Northwestern
that would have loved this.

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At 00:03:15,281, Character said: - Northwestern?
- Yeah.

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At 00:03:16,582, Character said: That's cool. I party there.

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At 00:03:17,883, Character said: - You do?
- Yeah.

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At 00:03:19,051, Character said: - That's very mature of you.
- I'm very mature.

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At 00:03:21,320, Character said: Other mature things I do

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At 00:03:22,655, Character said: are not chase the pigeons in the park

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At 00:03:25,291, Character said: and correctly pronounce the word
"Acetaminophen."

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At 00:03:28,427, Character said: Oh, and I... I win a boatload
of wrestling trophies.

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At 00:03:31,297, Character said: - You want to see them?
- Sure.

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At 00:03:32,798, Character said: - Okay, I'll be right back!
- Okay.

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At 00:03:35,501, Character said: - Hey, Dad.
- Hey, Jimmy.

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At 00:03:36,736, Character said: - Oh. Hey!
- Oh, hi.

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At 00:03:38,337, Character said: Jimmy was just showing me around.

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At 00:03:39,972, Character said: Oh. Sure is nice of him.

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At 00:03:42,174, Character said: Yeah.

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At 00:03:43,376, Character said: Seems like just yesterday
I was stopping him

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At 00:03:45,011, Character said: from bringing a hair dryer
into the bathtub.

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At 00:03:46,879, Character said: [Laughs] Well, for me
it was just yesterday.

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At 00:03:49,181, Character said: It's really cool that you let him
build this place for himself.

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At 00:03:51,684, Character said: Oh, this is, uh, actually my place.

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At 00:03:54,220, Character said: Eileen and I g***t a divorce,

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At 00:03:55,955, Character said: so I live here now.

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At 00:03:57,657, Character said: I'm sorry. I-I-I didn't know.

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At 00:03:59,492, Character said: We are very much divorced.

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At 00:04:01,027, Character said: Yeah. Eileen's actually already
in a relationshi...

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At 00:04:03,296, Character said: Mm.

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At 00:04:06,065, Character said: What was that for?

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At 00:04:07,266, Character said: For the crush I've had since I was 17.

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At 00:04:10,002, Character said: Spoiler alert...
[Whispers] I'm not 17 anymore.

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At 00:04:15,041, Character said: [Trophies clatter]

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At 00:04:16,075, Character said: Jimmy. Oh, no.

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At 00:04:18,377, Character said: And no.

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At 00:04:20,646, Character said: So, Party Vault also didn't have
the top hats you wanted,

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At 00:04:23,749, Character said: but they did have this.

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At 00:04:26,819, Character said: Oh, Clive. A Jesus pi?ata?

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At 00:04:29,855, Character said: Don't you think the poor man's
been through enough?

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At 00:04:31,557, Character said: Well, you don't have to hit him.

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