The Real ONeals s02e11 The Real Third Wheel.eng Subtitles

At 00:00:00,793, Character said: It still feels weird
that we're doing this.

2
At 00:00:03,092, Character said: Why? We've always made Mom and Dad

3
At 00:00:04,593, Character said: breakfast in bed on their anniversary.

4
At 00:00:06,261, Character said: It's just, this year, Mom's alone in bed

5
At 00:00:08,230, Character said: and Dad lives in the garage.

6
At 00:00:10,399, Character said: Okay, but celebrating the
anniversary of a marriage

7
At 00:00:12,735, Character said: that ended in divorce

8
At 00:00:14,002, Character said: feels like having a birthday
party for a dead person.

9
At 00:00:16,805, Character said: [Chuckles] That's like Christmas.

10
At 00:00:19,007, Character said: Hmm, good point. Let's plate those eggs.

11
At 00:00:21,443, Character said: Mnh-mnh. None for me, thank you.

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At 00:00:25,914, Character said: Don't want to fill up. [Chuckles]

13
At 00:00:29,072, Character said: 'Cause I'm having brunch with
my honey, my boo, my boyfriend!

14
At 00:00:32,121, Character said: [Sarcastically] Oh, my God,
we had no idea you were dating

15
At 00:00:34,022, Character said: the most wonderful guy in the world.

16
At 00:00:35,557, Character said: [Sarcastically] Yeah. Why
don't you ever talk about him

17
At 00:00:37,226, Character said: all the time and never shut up about it?

18
At 00:00:39,595, Character said: Okay, I know you're being
sarcastic, but, you guys,

19
At 00:00:41,530, Character said: look how cute we are.

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At 00:00:43,799, Character said: Allison says, "Where are you?

21
At 00:00:45,234, Character said: Crab, umbrella, French-fry emoji."

22
At 00:00:46,869, Character said: God, she's weird even in text.

23
At 00:00:48,437, Character said: She wants me to come to this
lesbian slam-poetry thing

24
At 00:00:50,639, Character said: she's doing, but today is a very
important day for me and Brett.

25
At 00:00:53,909, Character said: What's so important about today?

26
At 00:00:55,344, Character said: Well, not only is today
my first gay brunch,

27
At 00:00:57,846, Character said: but I'm also meeting
Brett's BFF, Christie.

28
At 00:01:00,549, Character said: She's visiting him from
New Jersey and, no big deal,

29
At 00:01:04,286, Character said: but she was Miss Teen
Turnpike three years running.

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At 00:01:09,158, Character said: [Soft gasp] Did you kids make breakfast?

31
At 00:01:11,627, Character said: Yep. For your anniversary.

32
At 00:01:13,862, Character said: - Pat.
- Hmm?

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At 00:01:15,597, Character said: The kids made breakfast

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At 00:01:16,799, Character said: for what would've been our anniversary.

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At 00:01:18,634, Character said: [Gasps] Guys, that is so weird.

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At 00:01:21,570, Character said: Well, happy 19th anniversary.

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At 00:01:23,605, Character said: Yeah, or happy first non-iversary.

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At 00:01:26,408, Character said: Yeah, sure, that sounds like a thing.

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At 00:01:28,277, Character said: You know what's not a thing...

40
At 00:01:30,212, Character said: Um, breakfast sausages
dipped in coleslaw.

41
At 00:01:32,548, Character said: Excuse me.

42
At 00:01:33,515, Character said: When slawsages sweep the nation,

43
At 00:01:35,350, Character said: don't ask me to buy you a house.

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At 00:01:37,152, Character said: - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

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At 00:01:41,552, Character said: [Grinding and whirring]

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At 00:01:47,830, Character said: What was that God-awful sound?

47
At 00:01:50,399, Character said: It's my new margarita machine.

48
At 00:01:52,434, Character said: I was feeling a little
down after Gloria.

49
At 00:01:54,536, Character said: Thought I deserved a
pick-me-up, so... it's a little

50
At 00:01:57,739, Character said: "to Pat, from Pat" kind of thing.

51
At 00:01:59,408, Character said: - Oh, yeah. You even gave
yourself a card. - Yeah.

52
At 00:02:01,844, Character said: I was hoping Clive
would come over tonight,

53
At 00:02:03,178, Character said: but I guess he's stuck at
school working out the budget.

54
At 00:02:05,647, Character said: That's odd.

55
At 00:02:07,182, Character said: He told me he can't go out tonight

56
At 00:02:08,584, Character said: 'cause he's taking care of his mother.

57
At 00:02:10,085, Character said: She hyperextended her
leg kicking the gardener.

58
At 00:02:12,588, Character said: Why won't he introduce me
to that fascinating woman?

59
At 00:02:16,225, Character said: Well, either way, I'm sure
it's just a misunderstanding.

60
At 00:02:18,360, Character said: Right?

61
At 00:02:19,461, Character said: Yeah. Right.

62
At 00:02:23,465, Character said: You know what... It
actually doesn't matter.

63
At 00:02:26,034, Character said: We're adults, you know?

64
At 00:02:27,636, Character said: Yeah.

65
At 00:02:29,104, Character said: I mean, it's none of my business

66
At 00:02:30,272, Character said: what he does with his own time.

67
At 00:02:31,406, Character said: - Yeah.
- [Chuckles]

68
At 00:02:32,975, Character said: You know, if I see him,
I'll ask him about it.

69
At 00:02:35,777, Character said: Or not. You know?

70
At 00:02:37,917, Character said: Maybe I'll forget.

71
At 00:02:39,748, Character said: Mm.

72
At 00:02:41,083, Character said: Maybe I've already forgotten.

73
At 00:02:42,684, Character said: There you go.

74
At 00:02:44,097, Character said: [Clears throat] Unrelated to that,

75
At 00:02:45,754, Character said: how about we fire up
that margarita machine?

76
At 00:02:47,823, Character said: There you go. It's
Mexico somewhere, right?

77
At 00:02:50,292, Character said: Yeah.

78
At 00:02:51,293, Character said: [Grinding and whirring]

79
At 00:02:54,162, Character said: Man. I thought having this
car would help me get girls.

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At 00:02:56,899, Character said: I mean, I named her "The Love Car."

81
At 00:02:58,333, Character said: but the only girls who've been in here

82
At 00:02:59,835, Character said: are Shannon and her stupid friends.

83
At 00:03:02,271, Character said: Well, thanks for driving
me to the airport.

84
At 00:03:05,140, Character said: I'm second-guessing my brunch outfit.

85
At 00:03:07,409, Character said: Should I have worn a bow
tie? ** I that kind of guy?

86
At 00:03:09,745, Character said: Do I want to be that kind of guy?

87
At 00:03:12,014, Character said: Why is your brother so
excited about breakfast?

88
At 00:03:14,650, Character said: It is not just breakfast,
Claire. It is brunch.

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At 00:03:18,186, Character said: And it's like gay church.

90
At 00:03:19,855, Character said: - Can I go to brunch?
- No.

91
At 00:03:21,156, Character said: Meeting your boyfriend's best
girlfriend is a huge deal.

92
At 00:03:23,992, Character said: They used to be called "fag hags,"

93
At 00:03:25,627, Character said: but that's super offensive.

94
At 00:03:27,129, Character said: What do you call them now?

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At 00:03:27,963, Character said: "Fruit flies."

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At 00:03:29,164, Character said: And how is that better?

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At 00:03:30,432, Character said: I wish I could be someone's fruit fly.

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At 00:03:32,167, Character said: Of course you do, Claire,

99
At 00:03:34,303, Character said: because straight women can't help

100
At 00:03:36,038, Character said: but be drawn to gay men.

101
At 00:03:38,874, Character said: And we celebrate that
love through brunch,

102
At 00:03:42,277, Character said: with equal parts
champagne, orange juice,

103
At 00:03:45,447, Character said: and fruit-fly adoration.

104
At 00:03:47,616, Character said: Ugh. I'm so happy to
finally meet you, Christie.

105
At 00:03:51,086, Character said: You're perfect.

106
At 00:03:52,187, Character said: Aww, you're sweet.

107
At 00:03:53,689, Character said: From now on, I will
pick out all your outfits

108
At 00:03:56,158, Character said: and help you choose what
guys to date until the day

109
At 00:03:58,327, Character said: that I officiate your wedding
in a Hugo Boss pastel tux

110
At 00:04:00,929, Character said: that manages to be both
flattering and masculine.

111
At 00:04:03,532, Character said: Thank you.

112
At 00:04:04,700, Character said: - Anything else?
- Actually, yes.

113
At 00:04:06,568, Character said: I'd love to take a
ride on a baby unicorn.

114
At 00:04:08,670, Character said: Certainly. Princess
Glitter's right this way.

115
At 00:04:10,973, Character said: [Gasps]

116
At 00:04:12,274, Character said:


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At 00:04:13,742, Character said: [Unicorn whinnies]

118
At 00:04:15,444, Character said: [Sneezes, snorts]

119
At 00:04:16,578, Character said: - Brett: She did?
- Um, you know she did.

120
At 00:04:18,313, Character said: And I was like...

121
At 00:04:19,247, Character said: Both: "Nuh-uh, nurse."

122
At 00:04:20,849, Character said: [Both laugh]

123
At 00:04:22,551, Character said: Here's your virgin mimosa.

124
At 00:04:23,719, Character said: Do you think you could put it

125
At 00:04:25,120, Character said: in a champagne flute?

126
At 00:04:26,688, Character said: I could.

127
At 00:04:29,144, Character said: - I'm sorry, Kenny.
- We were up all night talking,

128
At 00:04:31,226, Character said: but it's like we can never stop.

129
At 00:04:32,527, Character said: Oh, it's like that time
when we were in Trig II,

130
At 00:04:34,529, Character said: and Mrs. Campos was like...

131
At 00:04:35,831, Character said: Both: "Zip it, Brettstie."

132
At 00:04:37,599, Character said: Nuh-uh, nurse. [Chuckles]

133
At 00:04:39,568, Character said: Sorry, what?

134
At 00:04:40,402, Character said: Nothing.

135
At 00:04:41,670, Character said: So, "Real Housewives" marathon tonight.

136
At 00:04:43,549, Character said: - Yes.
- How excited are we?

137
At 00:04:44,840, Character said: Yes. [Laughs]

138