Spread.aka.Toy.Boy.2009.1080p.BluRay.H264.AAC-RARBG Subtitles

00:00:48,109 --> 00:00:49,My whole life, it was obvious

00:00:49,911 --> 00:00:51,I was gonna end up in this city.

00:00:55,449 --> 00:00:59,I don't want to be arrogant here,
but I'm an incredibly attractive man.

00:00:59,487 --> 00:01:02,I can't help it.
I don't try to be. I just **.

00:01:03,991 --> 00:01:06,When I was a kid, my mother's
best friend used to tell me

00:01:06,127 --> 00:01:08,that I was gonna be
a little heartbreaker.

00:01:08,496 --> 00:01:10,Turns out she was right.

00:01:10,498 --> 00:01:12,Her husband came home
from work one day

00:01:12,166 --> 00:01:14,and found us f***g
on the Stairmaster.

00:01:16,804 --> 00:01:18,Los Angeles, California.

00:01:18,973 --> 00:01:21,That's where all the beautiful little
heartbreakers go to live and dream.

00:01:21,809 --> 00:01:25,30,000 of them arrive here
every single month.

00:01:25,146 --> 00:01:27,30,000 prom kings
and queens

00:01:27,715 --> 00:01:29,and Little Miss Cute T***s,

00:01:29,617 --> 00:01:31,every one of them
with stars in their eyes

00:01:31,485 --> 00:01:33,and a dream in their heart.

00:01:33,321 --> 00:01:35,When I first came out here,
I had a dream...

00:01:35,823 --> 00:01:37,a dream of an easy life.

00:01:37,792 --> 00:01:39,I was gonna get rich
from lyin' around

00:01:40,027 --> 00:01:41,having my picture taken.

00:01:41,996 --> 00:01:45,I was gonna live in the hills
and drive a noisy yellow sports car

00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:49,and f***k 6' girls
who weighed 89 lbs.

00:01:49,437 --> 00:01:52,Guess what? Most of it came true.

00:02:05,653 --> 00:02:07,Hey, handsome!

00:02:09,657 --> 00:02:11,Excuse me.
Excuse me.

00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,- Excuse me.
- What's up?

00:02:15,162 --> 00:02:17,Good to see you.

00:02:17,064 --> 00:02:20,- You're here a little early, man.
- Well, you know, a boy's gotta eat.

00:02:59,307 --> 00:03:01,# I don't wanna tell you #

00:03:01,075 --> 00:03:03,# 'Cause you're lookin'
that way #

00:03:03,144 --> 00:03:06,# Turn around and wonder
how you keep up #

00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,# With things that
I don't want to tell you #

00:03:08,582 --> 00:03:10,# 'Cause you're lookin'
that way #

00:03:10,885 --> 00:03:13,# Turn around and wonder
how you keep up #

00:03:13,254 --> 00:03:15,# With things that
I don't... #

00:03:15,089 --> 00:03:17,Some men remember breast feeding.

00:03:17,425 --> 00:03:19,I do not.

00:03:19,627 --> 00:03:21,I do remember seeing
my mother in the shower once.

00:03:21,896 --> 00:03:24,She had a giant
mound of pubic hair.

00:03:24,932 --> 00:03:27,It caused me an aversion
to all things untrimmed.

00:03:28,402 --> 00:03:31,Ah. Meet Jen.
She has a bush like the outback.

00:03:32,773 --> 00:03:35,Strong hands though.
I like that.

00:03:38,279 --> 00:03:39,Let's see.

00:03:39,847 --> 00:03:41,Ah, Shelly.

00:03:41,382 --> 00:03:44,Ladies, if you want t***s,
go to Canada.

00:03:44,051 --> 00:03:47,They just do 'em better up there.
Don't ask me why.

00:03:49,557 --> 00:03:52,I don't remember her name.
But I do remember the look on her face

00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:55,when she found out I was
also sleeping with her sister.

00:03:56,630 --> 00:04:00,But tonight I'm not looking
for the tight skin of a 20-year-old.

00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:02,I ** in need of assiduation
and that changes the game.

00:04:02,970 --> 00:04:05,Ah, here we go.

00:04:05,706 --> 00:04:08,The jacket's Dolce,
the jeans are by Helmut Lang

00:04:08,242 --> 00:04:10,and the complexion comes
from a strict regimen of facials.

00:04:11,946 --> 00:04:14,I'm guessing
she drives a Mercedes.

00:04:14,281 --> 00:04:15,By the way,
there's only one pick-up line.

00:04:16,017 --> 00:04:17,Everything else is cheese.

00:04:17,685 --> 00:04:19,Hi. What's your name?

00:04:22,757 --> 00:04:24,- Samantha.
- Hi, Samantha.

00:04:24,358 --> 00:04:25,I'm Nikki.

00:04:25,926 --> 00:04:28,- I'm leaving.
- Really?

00:04:28,562 --> 00:04:30,Why?

00:04:30,965 --> 00:04:33,- It's late.
- You're right.

00:04:33,167 --> 00:04:34,We should get going.

00:04:34,769 --> 00:04:36,So wait a second.
You had dinner here?

00:04:36,404 --> 00:04:38,What'd you have?

00:04:38,472 --> 00:04:39,I had a salad.

00:04:40,007 --> 00:04:43,- What kind of salad?
- A Greek salad.

00:04:43,077 --> 00:04:45,You had a Greek salad
at a French restaurant?

00:04:45,346 --> 00:04:47,I like that.
Oh. Valet, huh?

00:04:47,715 --> 00:04:50,I bet you're a bad driver.
You want me to drive?

00:04:50,217 --> 00:04:51,I'll flip you for it. Here.

00:04:51,752 --> 00:04:54,Heads, I drive;
tails, you drive.

00:04:55,956 --> 00:04:58,- There it is.
- It's tails. You flipped it.

00:04:58,325 --> 00:05:00,You always flip it.
Don't be a sore loser.

00:05:01,862 --> 00:05:03,Look, you're cute and everything,

00:05:03,831 --> 00:05:06,but you're not coming home with me.
Thank you.

00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:10,You're gonna have to do
better than that.

00:05:10,104 --> 00:05:12,"You're cute and everything"?
What is that?

00:05:12,540 --> 00:05:14,I was trying not to be rude.

00:05:14,375 --> 00:05:16,- You're far from rude.
- Aww.

00:05:16,110 --> 00:05:18,I'll help you out.

00:05:18,045 --> 00:05:20,Tell me that you're married.

00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:24,I ** not married.
That would be a lie.

00:05:24,885 --> 00:05:27,You're not.

00:05:27,088 --> 00:05:29,Tell me that you're madly in love
with someone.

00:05:31,425 --> 00:05:33,- That would also be a lie.
- Mm-hmm.

00:05:36,197 --> 00:05:37,Then tell me why I can't
come home with you.

00:05:39,834 --> 00:05:41,I don't know you.

00:05:51,378 --> 00:05:53,Roll the windows down,
turn the music up

00:05:53,714 --> 00:05:55,and make an a***s out of yourself.

00:05:55,749 --> 00:05:57,It puts them at ease.

00:06:03,891 --> 00:06:06,It's nice.

00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:08,Peter Bogdanovich
used to live here.

00:06:08,929 --> 00:06:11,Hmm. I bet he did.

00:06:11,232 --> 00:06:12,What's that supposed to mean?

00:06:12,867 --> 00:06:14,Never show you're impressed.

00:06:14,602 --> 00:06:16,It lowers your market value.

00:06:16,370 --> 00:06:18,Do you want a drink?

00:06:18,873 --> 00:06:20,I don't drink.

00:06:40,227 --> 00:06:41,Come here.

00:06:48,769 --> 00:06:50,Wait.

00:06:51,739 --> 00:06:54,No boots in the bed.

00:06:54,341 --> 00:06:56,It's my bed.

00:06:57,645 --> 00:06:59,The boots go or I go.

00:07:07,788 --> 00:07:09,You want to give them a good f***g,

00:07:09,823 --> 00:07:12,but not too good. Leave a little
room for the relationship to grow.

00:07:18,532 --> 00:07:20,Oh, this f***g...

00:07:22,269 --> 00:07:24,Hey, Nikki.

00:07:24,672 --> 00:07:26,Nikki, wake up.
I gotta go to work.

00:07:26,874 --> 00:07:28,Now pay very close attention.

00:07:28,976 --> 00:07:32,I call this the "roll over
sleeping smile."

00:08:19,193 --> 00:08:20,- Right here is fine.
- There?

00:08:20,995 --> 00:08:22,Yeah.

00:08:25,499 --> 00:08:27,Nice spread, man.

00:08:28,202 --> 00:08:29,Yeah, it is, isn't it?

00:08:32,573 --> 00:08:35,Hey, do you keep
these cards on file?

00:08:35,609 --> 00:08:37,Yeah, we can.

00:09:10,044 --> 00:09:12,It doesn't matter
if you can cook or not.

00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:16,Women grade on effort. It's almost
better when the meal's a flop.

00:09:16,383 --> 00:09:18,It shows that you're willing
to make a fool of yourself.

00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,It's all about creating equity.

00:09:21,855 --> 00:09:23,Think of it as a point system.

00:09:23,590 --> 00:09:27,One for flowers, two for dinner,
three for an o***m.

00:09:27,061 --> 00:09:30,You need 26 points
for them to trust you.

00:09:30,431 --> 00:09:32,And then you can go back
to watching football.

00:09:35,836 --> 00:09:38,- Hello?
- In here.

00:09:40,274 --> 00:09:42,Oh ho ho, you're still here.

00:09:43,310 --> 00:09:45,And you're cooking.

00:09:45,779 --> 00:09:47,- I'm trying.
- Hmm.

00:09:47,981 --> 00:09:50,Turn around.

00:09:50,384 --> 00:09:51,Here you go.

00:09:51,985 --> 00:09:54,Sit down...
and take off your shoes.

00:09:54,588 --> 00:09:56,I'm gonna go pour you
a glass of wine.

00:09:57,524 --> 00:09:59,Here's what she doesn't know...

00:09:59,326 --> 00:10:01,I'm homeless, carless

00:10:01,061 --> 00:10:02,and completely unreliable.

00:10:02,996 --> 00:10:04,I do, however,
own a cell phone

00:10:04,898 --> 00:10:07,that happens to be
right in front of her.

00:10:07,735 --> 00:10:11,That's right, baby. 19 other offers
and I'm here with you

00:10:11,605 --> 00:10:13,creating equity.

00:10:13,741 --> 00:10:17,So what do you do?

00:10:17,144 --> 00:10:18,What?

00:10:20,314 --> 00:10:21,For work?

00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:23,Do you have a job?

00:10:25,519 --> 00:10:27,No.

00:10:28,422 --> 00:10:30,What did you do today?

00:10:30,791 --> 00:10:32,I was here today.

00:10:32,326 --> 00:10:33,Yesterday...

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