Eenie.Meanie.2025.1080p.web.h264-accomplishedyak Subtitles

00:00:29,208 --> 00:00:30,[phone beeps]

00:00:30,208 --> 00:00:33,[electronic voice] You have three new
voice messages. First message.

00:00:33,917 --> 00:00:35,[parent 1, on phone]
Edie, where the hell are you?

00:00:35,542 --> 00:00:39,It's 1:00 a.m. and your mother is
making an a***s of herself. So you need...

00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:42,- Hey. Where you going? I said we're not--
- [parent 2] I need five minutes. No.

00:00:42,583 --> 00:00:45,- [parent 1] Kat, we're leaving. F***k.
- [Kat] Oh, come on. Five minutes.

00:00:45,167 --> 00:00:47,- [parent 1] Edie, move your a***s.
- [line beeps]

00:00:47,583 --> 00:00:48,[electronic voice] Next message.

00:00:48,958 --> 00:00:52,[parent 1] No. What are you d... No,
don't serve her. Don't serve her another...

00:00:52,333 --> 00:00:55,Jesus Christ, man.
She's s***t-hammered already.

00:00:55,375 --> 00:00:57,- [Kat] Oh, shut up.
- What the f***k? [groans]

00:00:57,875 --> 00:01:01,Edie, seriously. Get down here.

00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,- [line beeps]
- [electronic voice] Next message.

00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:06,[parent 1] If you fell asleep
with your goddamn headphones on,

00:01:06,958 --> 00:01:08,I swear to God, I'm gonna lose my s***t.

00:01:08,958 --> 00:01:11,Pick up the phone. What the hell is...

00:01:11,458 --> 00:01:14,What the f***k are you looking at?
Was I talking to you?

00:01:14,042 --> 00:01:16,- Yeah, boy. Keep walking.
- [patron] Nobody's hitting on your girl.

00:01:16,458 --> 00:01:19,[parent 1] Nice shirt, you f***g
Ricky Martin wannabe motherfucker.

00:01:19,875 --> 00:01:21,- You see me going anywhere?
- [patron] Who you think you talking to?

00:01:21,875 --> 00:01:23,- [parent 1] I'm right here.
- You want trouble, you found it.

00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:26,- [Kat] Mark, don't... God. Oh, my--
- [line beeps]

00:01:27,833 --> 00:01:29,I worked last week. It's my money.

00:01:29,958 --> 00:01:33,Oh, great, yeah. One week.
You worked one week. Oh, you know what?

00:01:33,250 --> 00:01:36,How is it that you get to spend
all your work money on your bullshit,

00:01:36,542 --> 00:01:37,when I give everything I make

00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,- to you and Edie?
- [scoffs]

00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:41,I'm not taking you back to that shithole.

00:01:42,125 --> 00:01:45,- Who the f***k was that guy in there?
- It was Chico.

00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:48,- Chico? Who's Chico?
- [stammers] No, uh, Rich, or...

00:01:48,083 --> 00:01:50,- Ri... Rich? Rich Pacheco?
- Whatever.

00:01:50,958 --> 00:01:55,That was Rich Pache... The jagoff
that robbed the Sevs with a butter knife?

00:01:55,167 --> 00:01:57,- [Kat] He's harmless.
- No, he tried to kill a cashier.

00:01:57,458 --> 00:01:58,But he didn't.

00:01:58,542 --> 00:02:00,Because he used a f***g butter knife.
Which makes him an idiot.

00:02:00,917 --> 00:02:04,- Stop socializing with stupid junkies.
- [laughs] Okay.

00:02:06,208 --> 00:02:07,[Kat sighs]

00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:09,- That's crazy.
- [Kat] "Junkies."

00:02:09,125 --> 00:02:10,[Mark] Thought he was in jail.

00:02:21,792 --> 00:02:23,[Kat]
You know, I didn't ask you to police me.

00:02:23,458 --> 00:02:25,- Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Fine.
- Jesus Christ already.

00:02:25,375 --> 00:02:27,Thank you for filling in for my dead dad.

00:02:27,417 --> 00:02:30,'Cause I was really missing
having someone up my a***s 24-7.

00:02:30,167 --> 00:02:32,Well, obviously
it didn't work the first time.

00:02:32,667 --> 00:02:34,And what makes you think
it's gonna work now, hmm?

00:02:34,958 --> 00:02:39,Are you even... [laughs]
What a pain in the a***s. [chuckles]

00:02:40,167 --> 00:02:41,- Guys.
- What?

00:02:43,417 --> 00:02:44,F***k!

00:02:44,417 --> 00:02:46,- What do I do? [sighs] What do I do?
- No, no, no. No. It's fine, honey.

00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,- Just calm down.
- It's not f***g fine.

00:02:48,417 --> 00:02:50,No, we'll just... let's just
tell him that we've been drinking.

00:02:50,333 --> 00:02:52,- She's 14.
- Yeah, he'll think we're being smart.

00:02:52,542 --> 00:02:55,Shut it, Kat.
Hey, Edie, Edie, do not pull over.

00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:56,I'm pulling over.

00:02:56,458 --> 00:02:59,Edie! Do not f***g pull over.
Oh, my God.

00:03:06,375 --> 00:03:07,[sighs]

00:03:09,458 --> 00:03:11,[Kat] Okay, you know what? I'm gonna
hide it. That's what I'm gonna do.

00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:14,- [Mark] Shut it, Kat. Edie. Look at me.
- I'm just gonna--

00:03:16,458 --> 00:03:17,Look at me.

00:03:19,750 --> 00:03:23,- Your mom has a s***t ton of coke on her.
- [breathes heavily]

00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:28,She bought a bunch of coke
from Rich f***g Pacheco,

00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,and if you don't get us out of here
right now--

00:03:30,208 --> 00:03:31,[Kat]
Okay, you know what? You're overreact--

00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,[Mark] You-- You don't think he's gonna
pull us out of the car? Huh?

00:03:33,875 --> 00:03:35,When he finds out that she's f***g 14?

00:03:36,375 --> 00:03:41,Edie, if you don't get us the f***k out of
here right now, your ma is going to jail.

00:03:41,042 --> 00:03:43,- Mark.
- [Kat] It's your third strike, babe.

00:03:43,083 --> 00:03:45,[Edie breathes heavily]

00:03:45,958 --> 00:03:48,[Mark] Edie. Look at me.

00:03:52,583 --> 00:03:53,It's okay.

00:03:54,792 --> 00:03:55,- [sniffles]
- Now.

00:03:58,833 --> 00:04:00,- [cries, breathes heavily]
- Just like I taught ya.

00:04:03,083 --> 00:04:04,Punch it.

00:04:05,708 --> 00:04:08,[♪ "Apollo Kids" playing]

00:04:24,958 --> 00:04:26,Hey!

00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,[stammers] I gotta go!

00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:30,- What? No, no, no, no, no. Fifteen.
- Come on!

00:04:30,458 --> 00:04:33,- Fifteen more minutes.
- I've g***t work in, like seven hours.

00:04:33,167 --> 00:04:34,So? It's my birthday.

00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:35,Yo a***s used to be fun.

00:04:35,833 --> 00:04:39,Oh, come on. I still have to study.
Tori's gonna stay. She's fun.

00:04:39,625 --> 00:04:42,Oh, no. No, no, no. Tori is too fun.
[chuckles]

00:04:42,417 --> 00:04:45,Look, I g***t a 2:00 a.m. last call
with that crazy-a***s bitch.

00:04:45,208 --> 00:04:46,- So, no, I'm good. Yeah.
- [Edie laughs]

00:04:46,958 --> 00:04:48,Okay, yes. Stay away from her.

00:04:48,458 --> 00:04:49,- Yeah. [chuckles] I'm good.
- Thank you.

00:04:49,875 --> 00:04:52,No, no, no. You don't have to do...
I know how tight your s***t is right now.

00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,Oh, no. It's your birthday. You're not
paying on your birthday. Come on.

00:04:54,708 --> 00:04:56,- [bartender] Declined.
- S***t!

00:04:56,083 --> 00:04:57,It's fine. It's fine.

00:04:57,292 --> 00:04:58,My tuition probably went through.

00:04:58,792 --> 00:05:00,- I g***t you.
- Uh.

00:05:00,208 --> 00:05:02,No, no, no.
Thank you, thank you, but we're good.

00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:03,You gonna let your friend pay
on her birthday?

00:05:03,833 --> 00:05:05,- Oh--
- You can pay me back with your number.

00:05:05,833 --> 00:05:07,She said we're good.

00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:09,Why you stoppin' me from
blessin' your girl's life?

00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:12,Yo breath. Oh, my God.
You done cleared my d***n sinuses.

00:05:12,042 --> 00:05:13,- [laughs]
- Mmm, yeah, okay.

00:05:13,625 --> 00:05:16,Wow. He's still here. He has confidence.

00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:17,[stammers] He doesn't have a mint.

00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:21,[laughs] I'm sorry.
She's really mean. I'm sorry.

00:05:21,042 --> 00:05:22,You don't look sorry.

00:05:22,250 --> 00:05:25,- I-I'll try. I'll try. I'll try.
- Get you a mint. Get you a mint, boo.

00:05:25,208 --> 00:05:26,[Edie] Bye, Doug.

00:05:26,542 --> 00:05:27,- You doing too much.
- Yeah.

00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,School, work,
studyin' in the middle of the night.

00:05:31,083 --> 00:05:33,- Definitely feels like too much.
- Yeah.

00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,Well, I'm proud of you.

00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:38,And you still ain't called that bum-a***s,
broke-a***s motherfucker in, what now?

00:05:38,833 --> 00:05:41,- Hey. You promised. Come on.
- I ain't promise s***t on my birthday.

00:05:41,833 --> 00:05:44,I could talk s***t about that bum-a***s
on my birthday.

00:05:44,125 --> 00:05:46,It's been seven-and-a-half months now, so...

00:05:46,667 --> 00:05:48,That's good. For real.

00:05:48,792 --> 00:05:51,That's a long-a***s time to be with
somebody and then walk away.

00:05:51,292 --> 00:05:53,I know how hard that s***t is.

00:05:53,083 --> 00:05:55,[car engine revving]

00:05:55,875 --> 00:05:58,Ooh, this motherfucker.

00:05:58,875 -->...