Nic smiesznego 1995 Subtitles

At 00:00:06,000, Character said: Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

2
At 00:00:40,200, Character said: Second, again! All my life,
I've always been second!

3
At 00:00:44,100, Character said: Even when I was first,
I felt second!

4
At 00:00:47,400, Character said: D***n, will I be second
in the afterlife, too?

5
At 00:01:13,800, Character said: I think I know him
from somewhere.

6
At 00:01:16,535, Character said: But from where?
TV, maybe?

7
At 00:01:21,600, Character said: Eh, you're joking!
But... yes! Me too!

8
At 00:01:24,900, Character said: Wasn't he on TV?

9
At 00:01:27,000, Character said: Wait! Remember those girls?
It was a teen beauty contest!

10
At 00:01:30,900, Character said: Yeah, sure! That one had
such big t***s!

11
At 00:01:35,500, Character said: I think he scored...

12
At 00:01:38,400, Character said: What a story!
Are you sure?

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At 00:01:41,800, Character said: It could be.

14
At 00:01:43,600, Character said: Sure! I think
that is the guy

15
At 00:01:46,600, Character said: who made the movies
about those chicks!

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At 00:01:49,800, Character said: Jesus! A movie director!
He must have f***d a lot!

17
At 00:01:57,900, Character said: You think he did all of them?

18
At 00:02:00,285, Character said: - Hell yeah!
- No, really?

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At 00:02:02,600, Character said: - I'm sure he did!
- Lucky guy!

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At 00:02:05,700, Character said: Sure!

21
At 00:02:11,600, Character said: So what's his name?
Adam Miauczynski.

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At 00:02:17,700, Character said: Look at his heels!
What's on them?

23
At 00:02:21,900, Character said: Scars!

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At 00:02:23,500, Character said: He must have been
a happy guy!

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At 00:02:27,200, Character said: Happy?
Why do you think so?

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At 00:02:32,100, Character said: He must have rubbed
his feet out of joy!

27
At 00:02:35,400, Character said: Yeah, you're right
he was a happy guy.

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At 00:02:37,835, Character said: Mmm, happy my a***s.

29
At 00:02:40,000, Character said: Maybe we can make
him smile a little?

30
At 00:02:47,700, Character said: Let's see.

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At 00:02:49,400, Character said: S***t, no way!
Look at his teeth.

32
At 00:02:52,600, Character said: In front some of them look OK
but the others are all ruined.

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At 00:02:55,435, Character said: He must have brushed
them too much...

34
At 00:03:00,000, Character said: Hey man look at his d***k!
It's black!

35
At 00:03:06,700, Character said: Oh s***t,
a black d***k!

36
At 00:03:10,000, Character said: How did that happen!?

37
At 00:03:12,000, Character said: He probably f***d
so much it turned black.

38
At 00:03:17,500, Character said: He lived well
I mean at least he had a life.

39
At 00:03:25,200, Character said: All my life nothing funny
ever happened to me.

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At 00:03:30,200, Character said: Nothing FUNNY

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At 00:03:36,900, Character said: I was born at that dreaded time
of day just before dawn,

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At 00:03:39,535, Character said: a time I hate as much as
I hate twilight.

43
At 00:03:41,700, Character said: And those stupid nurses left me alone
with my diapers wet.

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At 00:03:45,400, Character said: So I cried for hours
rubbing my heels against each other.

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At 00:03:50,900, Character said: That's how I g***t these scars.
I've had them ever since

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At 00:03:53,100, Character said: and they were no more useful
during communism than they are now.

47
At 00:04:00,300, Character said: My parents always
argued with each other.

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At 00:04:03,335, Character said: They even argued
about my name.

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At 00:04:06,335, Character said: Adam, Adas.

50
At 00:04:09,900, Character said: Michal.

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At 00:04:14,400, Character said: I'd prefer Michal

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At 00:04:16,000, Character said: - Adas, d***n it!
- I hate that name!

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At 00:04:21,000, Character said: A- das

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At 00:04:25,700, Character said: Stop arguing!

55
At 00:04:28,500, Character said: Of course I didn't say that
when I was a baby

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At 00:04:30,935, Character said: but even then
something inside me screamed

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At 00:04:33,335, Character said: and kept on
screaming all my life.

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At 00:04:49,200, Character said: Oh, gross.

59
At 00:05:07,700, Character said: I was the second kid
and my parents wanted a girl.

60
At 00:05:19,600, Character said: My little girl,
my girl.

61
At 00:05:44,300, Character said: Hi baby brother!

62
At 00:05:45,800, Character said: My brother Miki used to hit me
on the back of my head,

63
At 00:05:47,935, Character said: instead of saying hello.

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At 00:06:01,700, Character said: Hi baby brother.

65
At 00:06:05,800, Character said: What!
Are you stupid?

66
At 00:06:12,500, Character said: Because of my brother
I developed this nervous tick.

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At 00:06:43,400, Character said: My life is filled with
this kind of s***t.

68
At 00:06:55,700, Character said: I studied film because
I wanted to be famous,

69
At 00:06:59,200, Character said: have a beautiful car,
beautiful women, and lots of money!

70
At 00:07:37,500, Character said: Look at my orange piece of junk.

71
At 00:10:18,100, Character said: Oh god! When I think that
the best years of my life

72
At 00:10:23,400, Character said: are passing me by in this
rattletrap piece of s***t!

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At 00:10:44,100, Character said: Oh sweet Jesus!
So what!

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At 00:10:50,200, Character said: Living like this until
sixty, and then what?

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At 00:10:59,400, Character said: And these holes in my teeth!
Unfilled!

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At 00:11:05,200, Character said: Didn't you get a
filling?

77
At 00:11:08,200, Character said: She threw me out in
the middle of drilling!

78
At 00:11:10,735, Character said: She threw you out?

79
At 00:11:12,800, Character said: Yeah! The drill
kept getting stuck in my teeth!

80
At 00:11:16,100, Character said: The doctor said my
teeth were too hard.

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At 00:11:17,935, Character said: What? Too hard?

82
At 00:11:19,802, Character said: Yeah, my teeth!

83
At 00:11:21,600, Character said: I have hard teeth too.
I think.

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At 00:11:24,235, Character said: She kept trying
different teeth

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At 00:11:26,800, Character said: one by one and the drill
kept stopping in each one!

86
At 00:11:30,200, Character said: She said I should just leave
if I'm so stubborn!

87
At 00:11:58,000, Character said: Don't go in there!

88
At 00:12:49,300, Character said: Look Stefa, this d***n drill
won't work!

89
At 00:12:54,200, Character said: I can't help you.

90
At 00:12:56,900, Character said: I have to pull out his roots
with these pliers.

91
At 00:13:15,100, Character said: I'm sorry, I'll just
have to leave it like that!

92
At 00:13:17,235, Character said: You can see for yourself
that it won't work.

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At 00:13:19,335, Character said: Your teeth are
just too hard.

94
At 00:13:27,700, Character said: But they shouldn't
hurt anymore.

95
At 00:13:36,500, Character said: What are you doing?

96
At 00:13:38,200, Character said: They were kind of long and
they stuck out, so I sawed them off.

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At 00:13:41,600, Character said: Are you out of your mind?
Weren't they healthy?

98
At 00:13:46,200, Character said: Yes.

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At 00:13:47,500, Character said: You just sawed them off like
I'm some kind of rabbit?

100
At 00:13:53,300, Character said: You have teeth like a wolf
and an overbite like a rabbit.

101
At 00:14:00,200, Character said: One day your jaw would've
gotten stuck forever.

102
At 00:14:04,300, Character said: How dare you talk to a rabbit,
uh I mean, to a patient like that?!

103
At 00:14:07,700, Character said: What the hell
are you thinking?!

104
At 00:14:10,135, Character said: OK, OK, just,
just go away!

105
At 00:14:16,700, Character said: In the first movie
they threw me off the set

106
At 00:14:18,500, Character said: because the director of
photography had diarrhea.

107
At 00:14:20,935, Character said: Do you have a light?

108
At 00:14:27,000, Character said: Thank you.

109
At 00:14:29,300, Character said: We were making a movie about the war
and we lived in a little village.

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At 00:14:36,600, Character said: The DP had diarrhea,
the whole time.

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At 00:14:41,500, Character said: Right after he finished
his soup he'd run to the outhouse.

112
At 00:15:07,400, Character said: Finally the munitions guy
found a way to cure him.

113
At 00:15:17,000, Character said: I have an idea
how to stop his diarrhea.

114
At 00:15:25,400, Character said: I think it's nerves.

115
At 00:15:32,800, Character said: Nothing physiological,
just his nerves.

116
At 00:15:39,200, Character said: He doesn't really have diarrhea
he just talks himself into it.

117
At 00:15:43,800, Character said: He developed this silly reaction,
so we will generate

118
At 00:15:47,300, Character said: a reverse reaction

119
At 00:15:53,900, Character said: so he fears
his diarrhea.

120
At 00:15:58,100, Character said: So every time he wants to go,
he associates it with something bad.

121
At 00:16:31,700, Character said: We'll lift this a little and
prop it up on two springs.

122
At 00:16:40,000, Character said: OK look, like this.

123
At 00:16:41,700, Character said: We'll stick this small nail
in the top

124
At 00:16:44,535, Character said: and put another nail
in the bottom.

125
At 00:16:47,300, Character said: We'll wire them to a battery
and then to a detonator and explosives.

126
At 00:16:53,300, Character said: Then we'll drop it all
here in the s***t.

127
At 00:16:55,500, Character said: When the guy sits,
the nails will touch each other,

128
At 00:16:59,500, Character said: the circuit will be complete
and all hell will break loose.

129
At 00:17:02,800, Character said: The only thing is that you
have to eat your soup fast,

130
At 00:17:05,900, Character said: so you can connect it all
before the director runs out here.

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