Candy cane lane Subtitles

00:00:36,376 --> 00:00:38,("Merry Christmas Baby" by Chlöe playing)

00:00:38,418 --> 00:00:40,♪ Merry Christmas, baby ♪

00:00:40,876 --> 00:00:43,♪ Merry Christmas, baby ♪

00:00:43,584 --> 00:00:47,♪ Sure did treat me nice ♪

00:00:47,793 --> 00:00:49,(whooping)

00:00:49,543 --> 00:00:51,♪ Santa came down the chimney ♪

00:00:51,918 --> 00:00:53,♪ Half past 3:00, y'all ♪

00:00:53,918 --> 00:00:55,♪ Left all them good ol' presents ♪

00:00:55,418 --> 00:00:58,♪ For my baby and for me, ah-ah-ah ♪

00:00:58,376 --> 00:01:01,♪ Merry Christmas, baby ♪

00:01:01,084 --> 00:01:04,♪ Sure did treat me nice ♪

00:01:04,876 --> 00:01:06,♪ Oh, baby ♪

00:01:06,918 --> 00:01:09,♪ You bought all those good ol' presents ♪

00:01:09,459 --> 00:01:13,♪ I love you, baby,
for the rest of my life ♪

00:01:17,293 --> 00:01:21,♪ Oh ♪

00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:27,♪ Merry Christmas, baby ♪

00:01:27,793 --> 00:01:30,♪ Sure did treat me nice ♪

00:01:30,126 --> 00:01:32,♪ Ooh ♪

00:01:32,668 --> 00:01:34,♪ Yeah. ♪

00:01:35,709 --> 00:01:37,(song fades)

00:01:39,834 --> 00:01:41,(air hissing)

00:01:48,501 --> 00:01:51,BRUCE:
Ah! And God said, "Let there be Santa."

00:01:51,584 --> 00:01:54,(chuckles):
Holy cow. Wow.

00:01:54,459 --> 00:01:56,You sure g***t a thing for candy canes,
don't you, Chris?

00:01:56,543 --> 00:01:57,Yeah.

00:01:57,918 --> 00:02:00,And you sure g***t a thing
for big blow-up dolls, don't you, Bruce?

00:02:00,918 --> 00:02:02,Yeah, I love those blow-up dolls.

00:02:02,959 --> 00:02:05,Oh. Okay. No.

00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:07,(laughs):
I see what you did there.

00:02:07,126 --> 00:02:09,Did you blow all those up?

00:02:09,001 --> 00:02:11,We're, uh, we're a family that blows.

00:02:11,668 --> 00:02:15,And I see you're, uh, still carving
your wood-- little hobby.

00:02:15,334 --> 00:02:17,Yeah. All hand-carved.

00:02:17,418 --> 00:02:18,Yeah, it's cute.

00:02:18,793 --> 00:02:21,(chuckles):
It's not first-place cute, but it's cute.

00:02:21,043 --> 00:02:22,I don't know how a blow-up doll
could, you know,

00:02:22,793 --> 00:02:25,compare with this handcraftsmanship.

00:02:25,376 --> 00:02:27,(laughs) Not interested.

00:02:27,543 --> 00:02:29,- Well, we'll see. We'll see, Bruce.
- We w-- We will see.

00:02:29,751 --> 00:02:31,We will see. We will see.

00:02:31,793 --> 00:02:33,We will see.

00:02:33,001 --> 00:02:38,Do I want an invisibility cloak
or flying shoes?

00:02:38,376 --> 00:02:40,If an elf can make it,
you can wish for it, okay?

00:02:40,668 --> 00:02:42,Santa's elves can make anything.

00:02:42,584 --> 00:02:44,They can make anything.
Now finish that letter.

00:02:44,584 --> 00:02:46,Come on. We g***t to send it
all the way to the North Pole.

00:02:46,709 --> 00:02:49,How much more inflatable crap
is Bruce gonna put on that roof?

00:02:49,084 --> 00:02:52,Oh, Bruce.
Babe, thank you for reminding me.

00:02:52,209 --> 00:02:54,Please don't forget to buy a nice bottle
of red for us to go over there tonight.

00:02:54,543 --> 00:02:57,I'm not getting a good bottle
for the competition.

00:02:57,418 --> 00:02:59,They're not the competition.
They're our neighbors.

00:02:59,459 --> 00:03:01,(sighs) Dad, where are my cleats?

00:03:01,918 --> 00:03:03,Your cleats are right here.

00:03:03,084 --> 00:03:05,You know, Joy, I was wondering:
Since you're having such a hard time

00:03:05,084 --> 00:03:06,keeping track of things
while you're at home,

00:03:06,626 --> 00:03:09,what's gonna happen
when you go off to college...

00:03:11,293 --> 00:03:12,Notre Dame?

00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,How'd this get in the house?

00:03:16,126 --> 00:03:21,Dad, I... I know that you guys met at USC,
but I don't want to go there.

00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:23,What?! Huh?!

00:03:23,918 --> 00:03:25,(gasps dramatically)

00:03:25,876 --> 00:03:27,Excuse me.

00:03:27,501 --> 00:03:29,USC is in your blood.

00:03:29,168 --> 00:03:32,- Fight on.
- Fight on!

00:03:32,293 --> 00:03:36,Listen, sweetheart, I-I would be happy
to call my old softball coach.

00:03:36,501 --> 00:03:37,- No, Mom, I...
- (stammers)

00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:41,I'm-I'm shattered
that you don't want to go to USC.

00:03:41,043 --> 00:03:43,Wow. Joy.

00:03:43,001 --> 00:03:45,USC. Fight on.

00:03:45,209 --> 00:03:47,- Fight on, honey.
- Fight on.

00:03:48,501 --> 00:03:50,Only a half hour away.

00:03:50,376 --> 00:03:52,You could spend so much time with Dad.

00:03:52,334 --> 00:03:53,- (chuckles)
- That's right.

00:03:53,626 --> 00:03:55,It's only 20 minutes with no traffic.

00:03:55,084 --> 00:03:56,You could eat dinner with your family
every night.

00:03:56,334 --> 00:03:58,Yeah.

00:03:58,376 --> 00:04:01,Nick, um, how did that math test go?

00:04:01,251 --> 00:04:03,Oh, you had a math test? What'd you get?

00:04:03,459 --> 00:04:05,I don't let grades define me, Dad.

00:04:05,709 --> 00:04:08,All right, that does not sound good.

00:04:08,168 --> 00:04:09,Yeah, that don't sound good at all.

00:04:09,751 --> 00:04:13,Look, Nick, if you want to win in life,
you have to learn to focus

00:04:13,209 --> 00:04:15,- on what's important.
- (mouthing)

00:04:15,084 --> 00:04:17,Well, my music is important.

00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:19,Math is required. Music is elective.

00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:21,Okay, but, sweetie,
the-the music makes him happy.

00:04:21,376 --> 00:04:23,Yeah, but he ain't gonna make no money
making music.

00:04:23,459 --> 00:04:26,Well, I mean, there's a lot of
music people that make money, Chris.

00:04:26,751 --> 00:04:27,CHRIS:
Not playing the tuba.

00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:31,Name one tuba player
that's living his life like it's golden.

00:04:31,084 --> 00:04:32,- Oh.
- Just one.

00:04:32,793 --> 00:04:34,Have you ever heard
somebody in the band say,

00:04:34,751 --> 00:04:37,"And on tuba is," and they introduce him?

00:04:37,293 --> 00:04:39,CAROL: Hey, hon, I think
you should focus on the math.

00:04:39,293 --> 00:04:40,CHRIS:
You should focus on the math.

00:04:40,709 --> 00:04:42,No one ever blew up on the tuba.

00:04:42,501 --> 00:04:45,("This Christmas"
by Donny Hathaway playing)

00:04:48,084 --> 00:04:50,(singing along to radio):
♪ Hang all the mistletoe ♪

00:04:50,626 --> 00:04:56,♪ I'm gonna get to know you better ♪

00:04:56,459 --> 00:04:58,♪ This Christmas ♪

00:04:58,876 --> 00:05:00,♪ And as we trim the tree ♪

00:05:00,918 --> 00:05:06,♪ How much fun it's gonna be together ♪

00:05:06,126 --> 00:05:08,♪ This Christmas ♪

00:05:08,793 --> 00:05:13,♪ The fireside is blazing bright ♪

00:05:13,584 --> 00:05:16,♪ We're caroling through the night... ♪

00:05:16,834 --> 00:05:18,Hey, good morning, Pam.

00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:20,(crying):
Good morning.

00:05:20,001 --> 00:05:22,- What's the matter with you?
- (sobs)

00:05:22,251 --> 00:05:24,(sobbing):
Merry Christmas.

00:05:28,459 --> 00:05:29,TRE:
But, hey, good news.

00:05:29,959 --> 00:05:32,Our outplacement officers
will gladly assist you

00:05:32,209 --> 00:05:35,in obtaining the strongest references.

00:05:36,584 --> 00:05:39,Lee, nobody can talk
to the vendors like I can.

00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:42,Nobody has my relationships,
my history and my Rolodex.

00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:44,Rolodex, huh?

00:05:44,793 --> 00:05:46,Classic O.G.

00:05:46,209 --> 00:05:47,I love it.

00:05:48,918 --> 00:05:52,You're really gonna do this
right before Christmas?

00:05:52,084 --> 00:05:53,It's just business.

00:05:54,959 --> 00:05:57,Listen, we know it's the holidays.

00:05:57,334 --> 00:05:58,- (mouthing)
- We want to give you something

00:05:58,876 --> 00:06:00,to say thank you for your service.

00:06:03,668 --> 00:06:05,Hey, don't nobody want your fleece.

00:06:09,251 --> 00:06:11,Hey, you know what?
I'm-a take this fleece.

00:06:11,168 --> 00:06:12,You know what I'm gonna do?

00:06:12,668 --> 00:06:16,I'm gonna regift it, show you how much
contempt I have for your holiday fleece.

00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,There for you.

00:06:19,209 --> 00:06:20,Yeah.

00:06:21,459 --> 00:06:23,Merry Christmas, brother.

00:06:25,834 --> 00:06:27,Merry Christmas.

00:06:28,793 --> 00:06:30,Uh, who's next?

00:06:30,876 --> 00:06:35,CAROL: So I stopped the bleeding
on the night sort by 14%.

00:06:35,584 --> 00:06:37,Great job as always, Carol. Right?

00:06:37,668 --> 00:06:39,The regionals are gonna be
impressed by all this.

00:06:39,793 --> 00:06:43,So, do you think
that they will consider me...