Clarksons Farm -ion10 S01E01 Subtitles

At 00:00:05,040, Character said: [engine revving]

2
At 00:00:06,360, Character said: Sideways in linen.

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At 00:00:08,000, Character said: [tires screech]

4
At 00:00:09,560, Character said: [Jeremy] For many years,
this has been my day job.

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At 00:00:15,359, Character said: -[tires screech]
-[gun fires]

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At 00:00:17,039, Character said: Going in hard and hot!

7
At 00:00:19,039, Character said: [Jeremy] But when
the important work was over...

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At 00:00:21,600, Character said: [tires screeching]

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At 00:00:22,679, Character said: I've lost one of my nose tampons!

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At 00:00:25,679, Character said: [Jeremy] ...I came home to this.

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At 00:00:32,679, Character said: It's my farm in the Cotswolds.

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At 00:00:37,240, Character said: Nestling among the ancient
stone villages,

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At 00:00:41,399, Character said: it's a peaceful, 1,000-acre haven
of wide open fields,

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At 00:00:49,280, Character said: brooks,

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At 00:00:51,280, Character said: waterfalls,

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At 00:00:53,479, Character said: woods,

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At 00:00:55,119, Character said: and wild flower meadows.

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At 00:01:02,280, Character said: It stretches from those trees
over there on the far horizon,

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At 00:01:05,760, Character said: then it goes behind that big wood,

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At 00:01:08,120, Character said: down into the valley
and then up past here

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At 00:01:10,840, Character said: to a point a couple of miles over there.

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At 00:01:14,799, Character said: And ever since I bought it back in 2008,

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At 00:01:18,120, Character said: it's been run by a chap from the village.

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At 00:01:20,359, Character said: However, he told me a couple
of months ago that he is retiring,

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At 00:01:23,760, Character said: so I've come up with a plan.

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At 00:01:27,719, Character said: I shall farm it myself.

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At 00:01:30,359, Character said: ["Every Picture Tells a Story"
by Rod Stewart playing]

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At 00:01:35,079, Character said: [bee buzzing]

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At 00:01:37,120, Character said: [opening theme song playing]

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At 00:01:40,200, Character said: I've never done this.

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At 00:01:42,520, Character said: Ooh! Farming happening.

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At 00:01:46,079, Character said: That's as straight as a roundabout!

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At 00:01:47,920, Character said: Oh, that sign of me going up there
is not happening.

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At 00:01:50,640, Character said: We're gonna have a sign saying,
"Guess who drilled this?

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At 00:01:53,520, Character said: Jeremy, Kaleb?"

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At 00:01:55,599, Character said: [automated voice] Take off!

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At 00:01:57,200, Character said: [Jeremy] Right.

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At 00:01:58,879, Character said: Let's go round up some sheep.

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At 00:02:01,159, Character said: [woman] Jeremy, you're going
too fast.

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At 00:02:02,959, Character said: [Jeremy] Oh, s***t. Please stop.

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At 00:02:07,359, Character said: Come on, don't rain. Don't rain.

42
At 00:02:11,680, Character said: This is global warming.

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At 00:02:13,159, Character said: And you racing about all your life
in vehicles.

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At 00:02:16,280, Character said: Just unbelievable horseshit.

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At 00:02:18,759, Character said: [man] See them? They're goldfinches.

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At 00:02:20,800, Character said: Really? It actually makes me really happy.

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At 00:02:25,240, Character said: Behold! I ** Moses.

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At 00:02:27,599, Character said: [gasps] And what the f***k
are you doing up here?

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At 00:02:30,360, Character said: Who's Moses?

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At 00:02:39,439, Character said: It's a baby.

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At 00:02:42,079, Character said: Ooh. Jeez.

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At 00:02:44,800, Character said: Have you looked after sheep before?

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At 00:02:46,319, Character said: -[sheep bleating]
-[Jeremy] I think I've g***t in its anus.

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At 00:02:50,159, Character said: No.

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At 00:02:51,520, Character said: [engine revving]

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At 00:02:54,639, Character said: [Jeremy] Oh, yes!

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At 00:02:56,319, Character said: This is my wilding project.

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At 00:02:58,120, Character said: -[man] Oh, my God!
-[Jeremy] Oh, no, no, no.

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At 00:03:00,240, Character said: This is not wilding.
That's damage.

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At 00:03:04,319, Character said: It's like Fortnum & Masons.

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At 00:03:06,639, Character said: It's what?

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At 00:03:07,560, Character said: [engine whirring]

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At 00:03:09,120, Character said: Oh, my God. What have I done?

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At 00:03:12,599, Character said: Whoa!

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At 00:03:14,240, Character said: -[chuckles]
-[Jeremy sighs]

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At 00:03:16,079, Character said: Stay in your vehicle please.
Stay in your vehicle.

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At 00:03:19,879, Character said: I'm pushing 60. I've smoked three
quarters of a million cigarettes.

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At 00:03:23,680, Character said: I've had pneumonia. If I get it...

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At 00:03:26,120, Character said: Yeah, there's not a lot of hope.

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At 00:03:27,879, Character said: [Jeremy whistling]

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At 00:03:30,879, Character said: [Jeremy] Oh, s***t.

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At 00:03:32,920, Character said: S***t, s***t.

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At 00:03:35,920, Character said: Wayne Rooney's dead.

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At 00:03:40,439, Character said: And this is the moment.

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At 00:03:53,479, Character said: You missed a bit.

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At 00:03:54,960, Character said: -Where?
-In the mirror.

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At 00:03:57,639, Character said: -No, I didn't.
-You did.

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At 00:03:59,000, Character said: -I didn't.
-You did.

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At 00:04:07,800, Character said: [Jeremy] All that is to come,
but right now,

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At 00:04:10,400, Character said: it's time to start my first job.

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At 00:04:12,759, Character said: The biggest, most important
job of them all.

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At 00:04:15,680, Character said: Planting wheat and barley
in all the big fields like this one.

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At 00:04:21,560, Character said: And how do you do that?

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At 00:04:24,360, Character said: No idea. Literally, honestly,
I have absolutely no clue.

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At 00:04:29,240, Character said: All I do know is it's going
to involve some tractoring.

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At 00:04:34,240, Character said: [theme music playing]

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At 00:04:54,720, Character said: [Jeremy] Obviously,
to do tractoring I need a tractor.

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At 00:04:58,680, Character said: So, on day one,
I set off to my local dealership.

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At 00:05:05,319, Character said: Quite like this one.
Look, the Super Major.

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At 00:05:10,199, Character said: There are worse names.

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At 00:05:13,240, Character said: As I'm familiar with stuff that has
four wheels and an engine,

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At 00:05:17,800, Character said: I should have been at home here,
but I wasn't.

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At 00:05:20,920, Character said: So I sought advice from
the dealership's owner, Patrick Edwards.

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At 00:05:25,600, Character said: How much is this?

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At 00:05:27,240, Character said: 7,500. That is what we specialize in.

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At 00:05:30,639, Character said: -You've g***t an engine at the front.
-[Jeremy] Yeah.

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At 00:05:32,319, Character said: You've g***t a gear box, and a back axle.
No suspension. No fancy electronics.

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At 00:05:37,800, Character said: There's nothing to go wrong
that we can't mend.

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At 00:05:39,720, Character said: -What horsepower has that g***t?
-[Patrick] 45 horsepower.

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At 00:05:43,519, Character said: [Jeremy] It's a bit feeble.

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At 00:05:45,000, Character said: Well, it fed the country.

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At 00:05:47,120, Character said: I know but people didn't
eat very much in those days.

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At 00:05:49,680, Character said: -[Patrick laughs]
-Um...

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At 00:05:52,399, Character said: What's the most power,
what's that g***t horsepower-wise?

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At 00:05:55,600, Character said: [Patrick] Well, that would be
about 65 horsepower.

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At 00:05:58,040, Character said: And is that the most
powerful one here?

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At 00:06:00,040, Character said: Yes, yeah.

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At 00:06:01,399, Character said: -65 Horse-power?
-Yes.

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At 00:06:07,439, Character said: [Jeremy] I then took one of his
restored tractors for a test drive.

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At 00:06:11,959, Character said: Oh, it begins.

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At 00:06:15,480, Character said: Let's open it up.

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At 00:06:25,439, Character said: Oh.

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At 00:06:28,199, Character said: [Jeremy] Having finished
my test drive, I made a decision,

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At 00:06:31,480, Character said: and bought this.

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At 00:06:34,040, Character said: [engine whirring]

116
At 00:06:37,920, Character said: This is a Lamborghini R8.

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At 00:06:45,199, Character said: Oh, my God, this thing is enormous!

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At 00:06:49,439, Character said: Everything about it is just large.

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At 00:06:53,560, Character said: Weighs ten tons.

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At 00:06:55,639, Character said: I have 40 forwards gears,
and 40 reverse gears.

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At 00:07:03,160, Character said: And I know that little Massey Ferguson
was very sweet, but come on!

122
At 00:07:09,839, Character said: Okay, and here we are
at the farm.

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At 00:07:14,319, Character said: Ooh, hello.

124
At 00:07:17,319, Character said: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

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At 00:07:23,920, Character said: Oh, s***t.

126
At 00:07:28,720, Character said: Right.

127
At 00:07:33,800, Character said: [Jeremy] First up with
an opinion was my girlfriend, Lisa.

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At 00:07:37,519, Character said: That is, that's too big. [laughs]

129
At 00:07:39,560, Character said: [Jeremy] It isn't. It isn't,
the shed's too...

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At 00:07:42,319, Character said: Enormous.

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At 00:07:44,079, Character said: Little.

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At 00:07:45,920, Character said: -[car honks]
-Ah!

133
At 00:07:48,120, Character said: Here's someone who does
know about farming.

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At 00:07:50,079, Character said: It's Charlie Ireland.
Now he's my, sort of, land agent.

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At 00:07:53,680, Character said: He knows what's needed
and when it's needed.

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At 00:07:57,279, Character said: He'll be guiding me over the coming year.

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At 00:08:00,079, Character said: -Jeremy, hello.
-Charlie, how are you?

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At 00:08:01,800, Character said: Very well thanks.
How are you?

139
At 00:08:03,120, Character said: -[grunts]
-It's quite large.

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At 00:08:07,079, Character said: Um...

141
At 00:08:08,720, Character said: Come on, it's a good tractor.

142
At 00:08:11,480, Character said: It's g***t the wrong hitch on.

143
At 00:08:14,000, Character said: What?

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At 00:08:15,000, Character said: [Charlie] That's a European hitch.

145
At 00:08:16,879, Character said: [Jeremy] What's...
I g***t it from Germany.

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At 00:08:18,600, Character said: [Charlie] You may well have done.

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At 00:08:20,199, Character said: So I can't attach anything
to the back of this?

148...