S12 E21：DC Takeover & MAHA： 8⧸17⧸25： Last Week Tonight with John Oliver [E02gokpa7Ug] Subtitles

00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:02,Bye.

00:00:32,460 --> 00:00:37,Thank you so much for joining us. It has
been a busy week. California Democrats

00:00:37,060 --> 00:00:40,unveiled their new congressional map.
Air Canada flight attendants went on

00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:43,strike. And Trump flew to Alaska to talk
to Putin about Ukraine for less than

00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:44,three hours.

00:00:44,940 --> 00:00:48,Afterwards, they held a press conference
that went so badly, even this Fox News

00:00:48,580 --> 00:00:51,reporter couldn't put a positive spin on
it.

00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:55,The way that it felt in the room was not
good.

00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,It did not seem like things went...

00:00:58,910 --> 00:01:02,well, and it seemed like Putin came in
and steamrolled, g***t right into what he

00:01:02,870 --> 00:01:06,wanted to say, and g***t his photo next to
the president and then left.

00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:10,Yeah, not great. And while the White
House later released this black and

00:01:10,730 --> 00:01:14,photo of Trump looking tough while
talking to Putin, it does seem like the

00:01:14,490 --> 00:01:19,was more accurately summed up by this AP
photo of Putin looking confident and

00:01:19,310 --> 00:01:22,Trump looking like that room temperature
shrimp is coming back up.

00:01:23,690 --> 00:01:26,Meanwhile, back in D .C., this story
dominated the week.

00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:31,For the first time in American history,
the president seizing control of the

00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:35,police in the nation's capital and
deploying hundreds of National

00:01:35,740 --> 00:01:40,Trump says, to fight crime on the
streets of Washington, D .C. I'm

00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:47,historic action to rescue our nation's
capital from crime, bloodshed, bedlam

00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,squalor and worse.

00:01:49,380 --> 00:01:50,Yeah, and worse.

00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:56,Trump has taken over DC's police
department and deployed the National

00:01:56,460 --> 00:02:00,well as pulling in agents from the FBI,
DEA, Homeland Security and others who

00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:05,flooded the city. At one point, marching
through Georgetown where one guy exited

00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:10,a bar with a real look of, oh s***t, I **
not dressed for a military invasion

00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:11,right now.

00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:16,And all the while, Republicans have
tried to justify this move by talking

00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:19,what a crime -ridden hellhole DC is.

00:02:19,780 --> 00:02:21,DC is not safe.

00:02:22,220 --> 00:02:26,People don't just walk the streets in D
.C. and feel safe anywhere around D .C.

00:02:26,540 --> 00:02:31,I drive around in Washington, D .C. in
my Jeep, and yes, I do drive myself, and

00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:34,I don't buckle up. And the reason why I
don't buckle up, and people can say

00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:37,whatever they want to, they can raise
their eyebrows at me again, is because

00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:40,carjacking. You don't want to go out on
the streets at night in Washington, D

00:02:40,140 --> 00:02:43,.C. I come from a family of public
educators.

00:02:43,660 --> 00:02:46,That's one of the reasons I live in my
office at night. But the other reason is

00:02:46,980 --> 00:02:49,it's too dadgum dangerous, brother.

00:02:49,780 --> 00:02:50,Okay.

00:02:51,230 --> 00:02:55,A lot of questions, but my main one is,
why is coming from a family of public

00:02:55,210 --> 00:02:58,educators a reason to sleep in your
office at night?

00:02:58,710 --> 00:03:01,You guys think I come from a family of
gastroenterologists, that's why I sleep

00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,in an abandoned ferris wheel.

00:03:03,910 --> 00:03:05,Is that why?

00:03:05,670 --> 00:03:09,And I said, look, Burchett also told
reporters in February that he sleeps in

00:03:09,330 --> 00:03:12,office because it helps him stay
productive and get to meetings early.

00:03:13,090 --> 00:03:17,All of which feel like excuses for
something else going on in his life.

00:03:17,870 --> 00:03:21,Just why are you sleeping in your
office, Tim? Is it crime? Is it

00:03:21,890 --> 00:03:25,Or is it that things aren't great at
home right now, and your wife threw all

00:03:25,570 --> 00:03:27,your dad -gum stuff onto the curb?

00:03:27,910 --> 00:03:30,And while it is neither here nor there,
I can't not mention that a few weeks

00:03:30,890 --> 00:03:34,ago, Bircher announced that he'd broken
his rib after getting kicked by his

00:03:34,390 --> 00:03:37,horse. An incident that he later
described like this.

00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:49,Yeah,

00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:53,would it, though?

00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:57,Because that feels like a bad choice of
tattoo for many reasons, including that

00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:00,every morning you go into the bathroom,
look in the mirror, and see a

00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:03,permanently injured reminder that your
own horse hates you.

00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:08,And by bathroom, I of course mean the
public restroom in your congressional

00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,office building where you sleep every
night for an involving set of reasons.

00:04:12,260 --> 00:04:17,And look, violent crime clearly exists
in D .C. like it does... anywhere else.

00:04:17,089 --> 00:04:20,But you should know, while Trump talks
of bloodshed, bedlam, squalor and worse,

00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:26,homicides in DC were actually down 32 %
last year and are down another 11 % this

00:04:26,130 --> 00:04:29,year, on top of which the city's
official violent crime rate in 2024 was

00:04:29,990 --> 00:04:32,second lowest reported since 1966.

00:04:32,830 --> 00:04:36,But obviously, crime stats don't matter
to this administration.

00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:40,This is all about a show of power, just
like it was in June when Trump deployed

00:04:40,150 --> 00:04:43,the National Guard to LA on similarly
flimsy pretenses. And he's already

00:04:43,990 --> 00:04:48,he may do the same in New York.
Baltimore, Chicago, and Oakland. And

00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:51,have been scary images of police
harassing citizens in D .C., there have

00:04:51,790 --> 00:04:56,been some truly pathetic videos
illustrating how stupid this whole

00:04:56,510 --> 00:05:00,with maybe the purest expression being
this cringe -inducing encounter where a

00:05:00,370 --> 00:05:03,group of agents approach a man they
mistakenly think is smoking marijuana on

00:05:03,650 --> 00:05:06,back porch, which, by the way, is
completely legal in D .C.

00:05:07,550 --> 00:05:10,Did y 'all get a call or something about
right here? No, so we're doing checks,

00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:13,keeping everybody safe down here, right?
Have you ever, you heard of the federal

00:05:13,970 --> 00:05:15,search that Donald Trump's putting out?
No.

00:05:16,070 --> 00:05:18,Right, you don't follow like number
three or anything like that? No.

00:05:19,450 --> 00:05:23,All right, so, yeah, Trump's g***t all
federal agencies kind of coming together

00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:26,for seven days and going out.
Absolutely.

00:05:26,470 --> 00:05:32,Trying to stop the violent crime, all
kind of stuff. So, just know, right,

00:05:32,470 --> 00:05:35,learn, teach, tell your boys, like, yo,
everybody's out.

00:05:47,270 --> 00:05:52,Look, that is all alarming and annoying,
but I do love that, guys, did you all

00:05:52,590 --> 00:05:56,get a call or something? Because it
might be the single politest person of

00:05:56,370 --> 00:05:58,the f***k are you dorks doing on my
property?

00:05:59,130 --> 00:06:02,I've ever heard. There must be nothing
more deflating for those ages than to

00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:05,show up somewhere, all puffed up and
ready for action, just to have someone

00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:08,calmly ask basically, are you little
boys locked?

00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:10,And look, who knows?

00:06:11,210 --> 00:06:14,Where things will be by the time you
watch this. DC is currently suing over

00:06:14,430 --> 00:06:17,Trump's move to take over their police
force, winning a narrow victory on

00:06:17,670 --> 00:06:21,Friday. And even if Trump wins the
broader case, the takeover would be

00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:25,by law to just 30 days, unless Congress
votes to extend it, which Democratic

00:06:25,590 --> 00:06:29,leaders in both chambers have said
they'll refuse to do. Chuck Schumer even

00:06:29,090 --> 00:06:33,there's no f***g way he'll allow it.
Language I don't think the Baileys would

00:06:33,730 --> 00:06:34,approve of.

00:06:35,150 --> 00:06:38,And some Republicans, like Senator John
Kennedy, seem to think that they can

00:06:38,270 --> 00:06:41,capitalize on that to make Democrats
seem soft on crime.

00:06:42,190 --> 00:06:48,Mainstream Democrats have now come out
firmly and passionately in favor of

00:06:48,270 --> 00:06:55,in Washington, D .C. Chuck and Hakeem
need to go to Amazon, buy some

00:06:55,190 --> 00:06:59,and stand up to the moon's wing of their
party.

00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:04,I don't know which part is worse there,
telling someone to buy a pair of

00:07:04,020 --> 00:07:09,testicles or telling them to do so on
Amazon rather than from mom -and -pop

00:07:09,620 --> 00:07:12,testicle stores that are really
struggling right...