S12 E21：dc Takeover & Maha： 8⧸17⧸25： Last Week Tonight With John Oliver Subtitles

At 00:00:01,960, Character said: Bye.

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At 00:00:32,460, Character said: Thank you so much for joining us. It has
been a busy week. California Democrats

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At 00:00:37,060, Character said: unveiled their new congressional map.
Air Canada flight attendants went on

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At 00:00:40,340, Character said: strike. And Trump flew to Alaska to talk
to Putin about Ukraine for less than

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At 00:00:43,960, Character said: three hours.

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At 00:00:44,940, Character said: Afterwards, they held a press conference
that went so badly, even this Fox News

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At 00:00:48,580, Character said: reporter couldn't put a positive spin on
it.

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At 00:00:51,440, Character said: The way that it felt in the room was not
good.

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At 00:00:56,280, Character said: It did not seem like things went...

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At 00:00:58,910, Character said: well, and it seemed like Putin came in
and steamrolled, g***t right into what he

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At 00:01:02,870, Character said: wanted to say, and g***t his photo next to
the president and then left.

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At 00:01:06,650, Character said: Yeah, not great. And while the White
House later released this black and

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At 00:01:10,730, Character said: photo of Trump looking tough while
talking to Putin, it does seem like the

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At 00:01:14,490, Character said: was more accurately summed up by this AP
photo of Putin looking confident and

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At 00:01:19,310, Character said: Trump looking like that room temperature
shrimp is coming back up.

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At 00:01:23,690, Character said: Meanwhile, back in D .C., this story
dominated the week.

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At 00:01:27,420, Character said: For the first time in American history,
the president seizing control of the

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At 00:01:31,400, Character said: police in the nation's capital and
deploying hundreds of National

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At 00:01:35,740, Character said: Trump says, to fight crime on the
streets of Washington, D .C. I'm

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At 00:01:40,760, Character said: historic action to rescue our nation's
capital from crime, bloodshed, bedlam

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At 00:01:47,200, Character said: squalor and worse.

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At 00:01:49,380, Character said: Yeah, and worse.

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At 00:01:53,120, Character said: Trump has taken over DC's police
department and deployed the National

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At 00:01:56,460, Character said: well as pulling in agents from the FBI,
DEA, Homeland Security and others who

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At 00:02:00,880, Character said: flooded the city. At one point, marching
through Georgetown where one guy exited

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At 00:02:05,680, Character said: a bar with a real look of, oh s***t, I **
not dressed for a military invasion

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At 00:02:10,840, Character said: right now.

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At 00:02:12,440, Character said: And all the while, Republicans have
tried to justify this move by talking

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At 00:02:16,700, Character said: what a crime -ridden hellhole DC is.

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At 00:02:19,780, Character said: DC is not safe.

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At 00:02:22,220, Character said: People don't just walk the streets in D
.C. and feel safe anywhere around D .C.

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At 00:02:26,540, Character said: I drive around in Washington, D .C. in
my Jeep, and yes, I do drive myself, and

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At 00:02:31,100, Character said: I don't buckle up. And the reason why I
don't buckle up, and people can say

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At 00:02:34,280, Character said: whatever they want to, they can raise
their eyebrows at me again, is because

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At 00:02:37,300, Character said: carjacking. You don't want to go out on
the streets at night in Washington, D

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At 00:02:40,140, Character said: .C. I come from a family of public
educators.

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At 00:02:43,660, Character said: That's one of the reasons I live in my
office at night. But the other reason is

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At 00:02:46,980, Character said: it's too dadgum dangerous, brother.

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At 00:02:49,780, Character said: Okay.

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At 00:02:51,230, Character said: A lot of questions, but my main one is,
why is coming from a family of public

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At 00:02:55,210, Character said: educators a reason to sleep in your
office at night?

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At 00:02:58,710, Character said: You guys think I come from a family of
gastroenterologists, that's why I sleep

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At 00:03:01,890, Character said: in an abandoned ferris wheel.

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At 00:03:03,910, Character said: Is that why?

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At 00:03:05,670, Character said: And I said, look, Burchett also told
reporters in February that he sleeps in

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At 00:03:09,330, Character said: office because it helps him stay
productive and get to meetings early.

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At 00:03:13,090, Character said: All of which feel like excuses for
something else going on in his life.

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At 00:03:17,870, Character said: Just why are you sleeping in your
office, Tim? Is it crime? Is it

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At 00:03:21,890, Character said: Or is it that things aren't great at
home right now, and your wife threw all

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At 00:03:25,570, Character said: your dad -gum stuff onto the curb?

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At 00:03:27,910, Character said: And while it is neither here nor there,
I can't not mention that a few weeks

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At 00:03:30,890, Character said: ago, Bircher announced that he'd broken
his rib after getting kicked by his

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At 00:03:34,390, Character said: horse. An incident that he later
described like this.

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At 00:03:48,800, Character said: Yeah,

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At 00:03:52,480, Character said: would it, though?

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At 00:03:54,080, Character said: Because that feels like a bad choice of
tattoo for many reasons, including that

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At 00:03:57,840, Character said: every morning you go into the bathroom,
look in the mirror, and see a

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At 00:04:00,980, Character said: permanently injured reminder that your
own horse hates you.

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At 00:04:04,920, Character said: And by bathroom, I of course mean the
public restroom in your congressional

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At 00:04:08,160, Character said: office building where you sleep every
night for an involving set of reasons.

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At 00:04:12,260, Character said: And look, violent crime clearly exists
in D .C. like it does... anywhere else.

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At 00:04:17,089, Character said: But you should know, while Trump talks
of bloodshed, bedlam, squalor and worse,

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At 00:04:20,750, Character said: homicides in DC were actually down 32 %
last year and are down another 11 % this

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At 00:04:26,130, Character said: year, on top of which the city's
official violent crime rate in 2024 was

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At 00:04:29,990, Character said: second lowest reported since 1966.

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At 00:04:32,830, Character said: But obviously, crime stats don't matter
to this administration.

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At 00:04:36,250, Character said: This is all about a show of power, just
like it was in June when Trump deployed

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At 00:04:40,150, Character said: the National Guard to LA on similarly
flimsy pretenses. And he's already

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At 00:04:43,990, Character said: he may do the same in New York.
Baltimore, Chicago, and Oakland. And

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At 00:04:48,070, Character said: have been scary images of police
harassing citizens in D .C., there have

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At 00:04:51,790, Character said: been some truly pathetic videos
illustrating how stupid this whole

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At 00:04:56,510, Character said: with maybe the purest expression being
this cringe -inducing encounter where a

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At 00:05:00,370, Character said: group of agents approach a man they
mistakenly think is smoking marijuana on

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At 00:05:03,650, Character said: back porch, which, by the way, is
completely legal in D .C.

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At 00:05:07,550, Character said: Did y 'all get a call or something about
right here? No, so we're doing checks,

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At 00:05:11,110, Character said: keeping everybody safe down here, right?
Have you ever, you heard of the federal

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At 00:05:13,970, Character said: search that Donald Trump's putting out?
No.

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At 00:05:16,070, Character said: Right, you don't follow like number
three or anything like that? No.

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At 00:05:19,450, Character said: All right, so, yeah, Trump's g***t all
federal agencies kind of coming together

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At 00:05:23,970, Character said: for seven days and going out.
Absolutely.

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At 00:05:26,470, Character said: Trying to stop the violent crime, all
kind of stuff. So, just know, right,

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At 00:05:32,470, Character said: learn, teach, tell your boys, like, yo,
everybody's out.

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At 00:05:47,270, Character said: Look, that is all alarming and annoying,
but I do love that, guys, did you all

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At 00:05:52,590, Character said: get a call or something? Because it
might be the single politest person of

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At 00:05:56,370, Character said: the f***k are you dorks doing on my
property?

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At 00:05:59,130, Character said: I've ever heard. There must be nothing
more deflating for those ages than to

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At 00:06:02,210, Character said: show up somewhere, all puffed up and
ready for action, just to have someone

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At 00:06:05,750, Character said: calmly ask basically, are you little
boys locked?

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At 00:06:09,370, Character said: And look, who knows?

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At 00:06:11,210, Character said: Where things will be by the time you
watch this. DC is currently suing over

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At 00:06:14,430, Character said: Trump's move to take over their police
force, winning a narrow victory on

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At 00:06:17,670, Character said: Friday. And even if Trump wins the
broader case, the takeover would be

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At 00:06:21,370, Character said: by law to just 30 days, unless Congress
votes to extend it, which Democratic

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At 00:06:25,590, Character said: leaders in both chambers have said
they'll refuse to do. Chuck Schumer even

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At 00:06:29,090, Character said: there's no f***g way he'll allow it.
Language I don't think the Baileys would

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At 00:06:33,730, Character said: approve of.

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At 00:06:35,150, Character said: And some Republicans, like Senator John
Kennedy, seem to think that they can

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At 00:06:38,270, Character said: capitalize on that to make Democrats
seem soft on crime.

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At 00:06:42,190, Character said: Mainstream Democrats have now come out
firmly and passionately in favor of

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At 00:06:48,270, Character said: in Washington, D .C. Chuck and Hakeem
need to go to Amazon, buy some

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At 00:06:55,190, Character said: and stand up to the moon's wing of their
party.

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At 00:06:59,880, Character said: I don't know which part is worse there,
telling someone to buy a pair of

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At 00:07:04,020, Character said: testicles or telling them to do so on
Amazon rather than from mom -and -pop

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At 00:07:09,620, Character said: testicle stores that are really
struggling right...