Abbott Elementary s02e03 Story Samurai.eng Subtitles

00:00:01,784 --> 00:00:04,Ava, have you seen a--

00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:05,Is this you?

00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,Ava: Oh. That must have
fell in there by mistake.

00:00:07,616 --> 00:00:08,Mind your business.

00:00:08,878 --> 00:00:10,What you looking for?

00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:11,Uh, I lost something.

00:00:11,359 --> 00:00:13,What? Your sense of style?
Ha ha! Up top!

00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:14,No.

00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:16,You a hater.

00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:17,What'd you lose?

00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:19,Uh, it was a shawl
that was in my classroom.

00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,It was my warmest one.
I ** so cold. [ Chuckles ]

00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:24,-You think someone took it?
-Who would just take a shawl?

00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:30,Why would I, Ava Coleman,
take something from Janine?

00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:32,Look, I ** not
accusing anyone, but--

00:00:32,902 --> 00:00:34,Mr. Johnson
took my shawl!

00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:36,Why does the lost and found have
a five-day waiting period

00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:38,if we're not
gonna enforce it?

00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:40,Aah!

00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:43,It's called
functional fashion.

00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:46,Yeah!
That shawl chose him.

00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:49,[ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ]

00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:57,♪

00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:03,[ Sighs ] I hope all the kids
aren't here today.

00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:04,Yesterday,
everybody was in attendance,

00:01:04,847 --> 00:01:06,and it almost broke me.

00:01:06,109 --> 00:01:07,That's what happens
when you enforce

00:01:07,284 --> 00:01:08,a "no nose picking"
policy.

00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:10,I'm behind
on lesson plans,

00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:11,but it's too early in the year
to show movies.

00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:14,I'm doing LEGO day to catch up.
The kids love it.

00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:16,I always end up
with LEGO toe.

00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,Exactly. I've bought
so many packs,

00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:19,LEGO owes me a sponsorship already.

00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:22,[ Chuckles ]
Man, this double class is kicking my a***s.

00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:23,I need my extra-large
coffee mug.

00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:25,Jacob: Did you read
that article the other day

00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:26,about how matcha--
actually more efficient

00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:28,at awakening the nervous system
than coffee?

00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:31,Oh, yeah? Was that in
Who Gives A Crap Weekly?

00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:33,It was in The New Yorker.

00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:35,Oh, so
Who Gives A Crap Biweekly.

00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:38,[ Door opens ]

00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:41,D***n. It's more intense in here
than my at-home float tank.

00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:43,What y'all doing?
Prepping.

00:01:43,494 --> 00:01:45,Mm. Working before work?
Couldn't be me.

00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:47,Anyway, here's a reminder
that some goofy group

00:01:47,803 --> 00:01:49,is coming through to do
camp songs or something,

00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:52,so check the schedule
to see when your class is up.

00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:54,Holy Shakespeare!
[ Gasps ]

00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:56,[ Imitating
sword slicing ]

00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:58,Jacob, we can't afford
for you to have a seizure

00:01:58,292 --> 00:01:59,during school hours.
[ Laughs ][ Chuckles ]

00:01:59,684 --> 00:02:03,Guys! These are
the Story Samurai, okay?

00:02:03,297 --> 00:02:04,They're a storytelling group
that goes all up and down

00:02:05,037 --> 00:02:08,the East Coast improvising
plays based on the kids' ideas.

00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:10,[ Chuckles ]
I used to be in it.

00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:13,Of course you were, sweetheart.

00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:17,The Story Samurai are like
a book come to life, okay?

00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:19,But the pages
are the performance

00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:22,and the illustrations
are, like, the lyrics.

00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:26,We help the kids see that
everyone is a story, okay?

00:02:26,755 --> 00:02:30,Look, I don't condone violence,
but it slaps.

00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:31,I think it sounds amazing, Jacob.

00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:32,I love it
when they come.

00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:34,You get to drop your kids off
at the auditorium for an hour

00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:37,-and just catch up on work.
-That part.

00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,Oh, well, then I may be
a really big fan

00:02:39,507 --> 00:02:40,of these Samurai-sitters.

00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:42,You're gonna want
to see this.

00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:44,It's-- It's not like
some wack puppet show.

00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:46,Plus, this is like
a whole new tour.

00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:48,It's gonna be
brand-new material.

00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:50,It's very subversive,
you know?

00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:52,And really cool.
Like me.

00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:57,Janine, Gregory,
y'all pulling up?

00:02:57,133 --> 00:03:00,Yeah.
I'll walk over.

00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:01,Yeah.

00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:03,Alex and Jordan.

00:03:03,574 --> 00:03:05,Oh, Natalie.
I'm sorry, honey.

00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:07,You are in
my third grade now.

00:03:07,535 --> 00:03:09,You were in my second grade
last year,

00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:12,and now you're in third grade,
which I also teach. Okay.

00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:14,I told you, we g***t an aide
if you need it.

00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:16,She's g***t this.
She's a veteran.

00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:18,Veterans don't need
that help. Exactly.

00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:20,You save those aides
for the young'ns.

00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:22,Alright, well, don't say
I didn't try to help.

00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:24,Everybody say young Ava
is unreliable,

00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:26,but even a broken clock
is right once a day.

00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:29,-Twice a day.
-Whatever!

00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:30,Melissa: Um, you know,
it's a little tough.

00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:33,But you know what?
Barbara's right. I'm tougher.

00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:36,I'm so tough, brass knuckles
wear me to a fight.

00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:38,-Students: Ooh!
-Oh. Excuse me.

00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:39,What? What?!

00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:43,Keyon! Quit huffing
the Wite-Out, dude!

00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:45,Samurai. Ha!

00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:49,May we have a suggestion
for a character?

00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:50,Meek Mill!

00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:51,Ah.
Nice one, Clarence.

00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:55,What if Meek Mill...
was a meerkat?

00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:57,Why?

00:03:57,585 --> 00:04:00,I'm just a meerkat, strolling
through Western Philly.

00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:01,[ Chuckles ]
But it's not a story

00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:02,unless there's some...

00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:03,All: Conflict!

00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:06,What's Meerkat Meek Mills'
conflict?

00:04:07,029 --> 00:04:10,His ATV broke down
in the wrong hood![ Laughter ]

00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:13,All: Wrong hood, Meerkat!
Wrong hood!

00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:15,This is too corny, even for me.

00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:16,But Jacob loves it,
so thank goodness

00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:19,it's in his past
and he isn't up there.

00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:20,[ Chuckles ]
I get it, though.

00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:22,If my "Degrassi"
reenactment group

00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:24,showed up and performed here,
I'd be excited, too.

00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,Shout-out to the guy
who played the original Jimmy.

00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:30,Wonder what he's up to. Heh.
He is-- He's Drake.

00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:32,I'm aware that he is Drake. Yeah.

00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:34,I expected it to be corny,
but that was beyond anything

00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:36,I thought was
theoretically possible.

00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:38,[ Chuckles ]
I know. It was peak Jacob.

00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:41,Oh, Melissa, I bet that you
would love the Story Samurai.

00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:42,Oh, yeah,
I just dropped my kids,

00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:44,and I g***t, like,
two lesson plans to do.

00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,[ Beeping ]
And that beep means I g***t an hour left

00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:48,and I still didn't go
to the bathroom! Okay.

00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:50,My class in here, please.
Thank you.

00:04:50,855 --> 00:04:52,Y'all see that corny show?
[ Laughs ]

00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:54,I was in the back crying
while bootlegging it

00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:55,for barbershop distribution.

00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:57,Guys,
it wasn't that bad.

00:04:57,079...