00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:11,Black.

00:00:12,305 --> 00:00:16,All important movies start
with a black screen.

00:00:17,936 --> 00:00:19,And music.

00:00:19,437 --> 00:00:22,Edgy, scary music

00:00:22,232 --> 00:00:25,that would make
a parent or studio executive nervous.

00:00:27,779 --> 00:00:28,And logos.

00:00:29,614 --> 00:00:33,Really long and dramatic logos.

00:00:33,451 --> 00:00:35,Warner Bros.

00:00:35,286 --> 00:00:37,Why not "Warner Brothers"?
I don't know.

00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:43,DC.

00:00:44,129 --> 00:00:46,The house that Batman built.

00:00:47,507 --> 00:00:49,Yeah, what, Superman?

00:00:49,968 --> 00:00:51,Come at me, bro.

00:00:52,137 --> 00:00:53,I'm your Kryptonite.

00:01:00,603 --> 00:01:01,Hmm.

00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:05,Not sure what RatPac does,
but that logo is macho.

00:01:06,651 --> 00:01:07,I dig it.

00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:09,Okay.

00:01:10,113 --> 00:01:12,Get yourself ready for some

00:01:12,991 --> 00:01:13,reading.

00:01:14,951 --> 00:01:16,"If you want to make the world
a better place"

00:01:17,954 --> 00:01:20,"take a look at yourself
and make a change."

00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:22,"Hooo."

00:01:23,209 --> 00:01:24,No. I said that.

00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:27,Batman is very wise.

00:01:27,839 --> 00:01:30,I also have huge pecs
and a nine-pack.

00:01:32,469 --> 00:01:33,Yeah, I've g***t an extra ab.

00:01:34,512 --> 00:01:36,Now, let's start the movie.

00:01:45,857 --> 00:01:50,Gotham Tower,
this is McGuffin Airlines, Flight 1138.

00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:52,We are transporting
11 million sticks of dynamite,

00:01:53,072 --> 00:01:54,17,000 pounds of C-4,

00:01:55,074 --> 00:01:57,about 150 cute little
classic bomb-type bombs,

00:01:58,036 --> 00:01:59,and two best friends!

00:01:59,537 --> 00:02:03,And request permission to fly over
the most crime-ridden city in the world.

00:02:03,374 --> 00:02:04,Over.

00:02:04,542 --> 00:02:06,I'm just looking at all the guys' faces
here in the control tower.

00:02:06,795 --> 00:02:07,- I'm good.
- Sounds good to me.

00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:09,- Do it!
- Yeah, as long as they're best friends.

00:02:09,255 --> 00:02:11,- Thumbs up!
- Yep, I think we're cool with that.

00:02:32,529 --> 00:02:33,Gentlemen,

00:02:33,696 --> 00:02:37,seal breach in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:41,What was that?

00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:42,- One of us should check it out.
- Okay.

00:02:42,705 --> 00:02:43,Scissors, paper, rock.

00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,- Paper.
- Scissors.

00:02:45,375 --> 00:02:46,Ha! You always do paper.

00:02:46,584 --> 00:02:48,I'm a loser at home
and a loser at work.

00:02:51,506 --> 00:02:52,Holy cow!

00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:59,Captain Dale, is everything okay?

00:02:59,264 --> 00:03:02,I ** afraid
Captain Dale had to bail.

00:03:03,101 --> 00:03:04,I'm your new co-pilot.

00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:07,And I always come to work

00:03:07,438 --> 00:03:09,with a smile!

00:03:14,112 --> 00:03:16,- You should be terrified.
- Why?

00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:19,Because I will be taking over the city.

00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:20,Mmm...

00:03:20,577 --> 00:03:22,- What?
- Batman will stop you.

00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:23,He always stops you.

00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,No, he doesn't.

00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:26,What about that time with the two boats?

00:03:27,083 --> 00:03:28,This is better than the two boats.

00:03:29,002 --> 00:03:32,- Mmm...
- Well, tonight is gonna be different!

00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:35,Tonight is my greatest plan yet.

00:03:36,134 --> 00:03:38,And trust me,
Batman's never gonna see it coming.

00:03:38,970 --> 00:03:41,Like that time with the parade
and the Prince music?

00:03:41,472 --> 00:03:42,Hey, quiet!

00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,- Good night, Steve.
- Take it easy, Jeff.

00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:47,Man, I really like that guy.

00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,I sure hope nothing bad happens to him.

00:03:51,608 --> 00:03:53,Nothing bad ever happens to me

00:03:54,819 --> 00:03:55,What the...

00:03:55,987 --> 00:03:57,Your city is under attack

00:03:57,655 --> 00:04:00,by Gotham's greatest criminal minds.

00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:01,Including

00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:03,The Riddler.

00:04:04,495 --> 00:04:05,Scarecrow.

00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:07,Pizza delivery.

00:04:08,917 --> 00:04:10,- Bane.
- Hello.

00:04:10,835 --> 00:04:11,Two-Face!

00:04:12,003 --> 00:04:13,We need that door open, baby!

00:04:13,630 --> 00:04:14,Catwoman.

00:04:15,131 --> 00:04:16,Meow, meow. You're in! Meow, meow.

00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:17,I'm jumping out of the way!

00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:21,And let's not forget, Clayface.

00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:26,Poison Ivy.

00:04:27,018 --> 00:04:28,- Freeze!
- No!

00:04:28,645 --> 00:04:29,You freeze!

00:04:29,812 --> 00:04:30,Mr. Freeze!

00:04:31,189 --> 00:04:33,Penguin, Crazy Quilt, Eraser.

00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:36,Polka-Dot Man, Mime, Tarantula.

00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:38,King Tut, Orca, Killer Moth,

00:04:38,571 --> 00:04:40,March Harriet, Zodiac Master,
Gentleman Ghost.

00:04:40,490 --> 00:04:44,Clock King, Calendar Man, Kite-Man,
Catman, Zebra-Man, and the Condiment King.

00:04:46,871 --> 00:04:48,Okay, are you making some of those up?

00:04:48,665 --> 00:04:50,Nope, they're all real.

00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:51,Probably worth a Google.

00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:55,- Hey, watch it!
- Commissioner Gordon!

00:04:55,964 --> 00:04:56,What is it, O'Hara?

00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,We just g***t a report!

00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:00,All the Z-grade villains have
broken into the energy plant!

00:05:00,885 --> 00:05:01,What are we gonna do, sir?

00:05:02,053 --> 00:05:04,The only thing we ever do.
Flip the switch to the Bat-Signal!

00:05:04,597 --> 00:05:05,Flip!

00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:07,Commissioner, are you there?

00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:08,The Bat-Signal, she's been egged!

00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:10,It's Egghead, sir.

00:05:11,062 --> 00:05:12,I'm well aware of his work.

00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:14,Dear gosh.
You've destroyed the Bat-Signal.

00:05:15,066 --> 00:05:16,You have thought of everything.

00:05:16,776 --> 00:05:18,Yeah, I know!

00:05:18,403 --> 00:05:19,And when I take over Gotham City...

00:05:19,988 --> 00:05:22,Opening reactor core doors.

00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,...Batman will grovel at the feet

00:05:24,409 --> 00:05:26,of his greatest enemy!

00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:29,Me! The Joker!

00:05:31,666 --> 00:05:33,Joker, do you read me?

00:05:33,251 --> 00:05:34,10-4, girl buddy.

00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:35,We're ready for you, sugar plum.

00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:38,Well, then, let's raise the roof!

00:05:39,257 --> 00:05:40,Fire in the hole!

00:05:48,683 --> 00:05:50,O'Hara, have you tried the Bat-Phone?

00:05:50,268 --> 00:05:52,Yes, but all I'm getting
is this hold music.

00:05:54,564 --> 00:05:55,I love it.

00:05:58,901 --> 00:06:00,- I want snipers trained on that building!
- You bet!

00:06:00,903 --> 00:06:03,- I want water and air support, yesterday!
- Ahoy, sir!

00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,And I need SWAT here now!

00:06:04,782 --> 00:06:05,Phone call
for Commissioner Gordon.

00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:06,Hello? Batman?

00:06:07,118 --> 00:06:09,Hi, Jimmy! It's the Jokes. Oop!

00:06:09,829 --> 00:06:11,Nobody calls you that.

00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:13,Yes, people do call me that.

00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:14,Okay, listen up.

00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:15,Go, go, go!

00:06:16,044 --> 00:06:19,At this very moment,
an unnecessarily complicated bomb

00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:23,is being attached
to the inside of the main energy core.

00:06:24,052 --> 00:06:27,If the mayor isn't here in five minutes
to negotiate the city's surrender,

00:06:27,889 --> 00:06:31,then I shall destroy Gotham City.

00:06:31,768 --> 00:06:33,I did something!

00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:35,Doctor, that sounds frightening
and overly complicated.

00:06:36,105 --> 00:06:37,Talk us through it.

00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:40,Well, I don't wanna scare
any small children who may be listening,

00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:42,but it's a little-known fact
that Gotham City

00:06:42,987 --> 00:06:46,is built on a bunch of flimsy plates
stuck together.

00:06:46,491 --> 00:06:48,There's literally nothing beneath us,

00:06:48,910 --> 00:06:52,except an infinite abyss
that smells like dirty underwear.

00:06:52,330 --> 00:06:54,If Joker's bomb were to go off,

00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:56,these plates would break apart,

00:06:56,501 --> 00:06:58,plunging every Gotham citizen

00:06:58,294 --> 00:07:00,into the eternal abyss forever.

00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:02,And you wouldn't want that,
now would you?

00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:05,Now get me the mayor! Joker out!

00:07:05,760 -->...