Carry On - 07 - Carry On Cabby Subtitles

00:02:01,641 --> 00:02:03,Wotcha, mate!

00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:07,Oi, where's the funeral, then?

00:02:11,541 --> 00:02:14,Watch it, mate, she's g***t out of the box.

00:02:19,380 --> 00:02:22,Don't do that when you take your test, mate,
you'll never pass.

00:02:22,540 --> 00:02:25,You filthy, rotten road hog.

00:02:25,539 --> 00:02:28,Good for you, lady.

00:02:33,859 --> 00:02:37,What's the matter with you?
Can't you give a hand signal?

00:02:38,538 --> 00:02:40,Oh, veteran driver.

00:02:44,018 --> 00:02:45,Charlie!

00:02:47,057 --> 00:02:48,Charlie!

00:02:49,978 --> 00:02:52,Charlie! Ted!

00:02:56,737 --> 00:02:59,Hello, Peg,
and how are you this lovely morning?

00:02:59,977 --> 00:03:02,Never mind the lovely morning.
Where's Charlie?

00:03:02,296 --> 00:03:06,Charlie? Oh, l don't know, Peg.
Perhaps he's in the office.

00:03:06,096 --> 00:03:07,No he's not, l've just been in there.

00:03:07,856 --> 00:03:09,Oh.

00:03:09,496 --> 00:03:12,l meant...the other office, you know, the...

00:03:14,016 --> 00:03:16,What, for two hours?

00:03:16,536 --> 00:03:20,Oh, come off it, Ted, you can't fool me.
Has he gone out cabbing?

00:03:20,574 --> 00:03:24,Mm? Oh, no. Well, he wouldn't do that,
would he? Not after he's promised you.

00:03:24,696 --> 00:03:26,He's somewhere around, l expect.

00:03:27,015 --> 00:03:28,Don't worry. Look, l'll find him.

00:03:37,373 --> 00:03:39,- Well?
- lt's all right, l've finished it.

00:03:39,413 --> 00:03:42,- You mean you've done all the things you said?
- Yeah.

00:03:42,093 --> 00:03:45,- How did you do 'em, then?
- lt's simple, just took up the slack.

00:03:48,374 --> 00:03:49,Service.

00:03:50,893 --> 00:03:52,What do you want?

00:03:52,613 --> 00:03:54,Oh, sorry. Beg your pardon.

00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:57,l think l'll have a nice quick fourpenny roll
with you.

00:03:57,412 --> 00:04:00,That's enough sauce out of you, Ted.
lf you don't shut up...

00:04:00,212 --> 00:04:01,- Give us a kiss, then.
- No, l won't.

00:04:01,972 --> 00:04:03,You ought to be...

00:04:03,612 --> 00:04:05,Ooh.

00:04:05,652 --> 00:04:07,l wish l had a nice big spanner handy.

00:04:07,691 --> 00:04:10,So do l. l'd get you loosened up a bit.

00:04:10,331 --> 00:04:13,Why don't you two get married
and we could all get a bit of peace?

00:04:13,252 --> 00:04:16,- That suits me fine. How about it, Sally?
- Over my dead body.

00:04:16,331 --> 00:04:18,That's not what you said in the pictures.

00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:21,- Why, what did l say?
- Oh, very romantic it was. What was it, now?

00:04:21,812 --> 00:04:25,Oh, yeah, she said,
''You get your hand away!'' she said.

00:04:25,410 --> 00:04:26,Eh?

00:04:26,770 --> 00:04:30,- He was trying to pinch my walnut crackles.
- Yeah, and l very nearly did too.

00:04:30,409 --> 00:04:34,- We'll have to get married now, won't we?
- l'm warning you, if you don't shut up, l'll...

00:04:34,769 --> 00:04:36,l'll fling this tea in your ugly mug.

00:04:36,489 --> 00:04:39,Ooh, blimey, l'm going.
Sounds too much like home.

00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:42,Yeah, watch out for that clutch, Smiley.
lt's a bit fierce.

00:04:42,330 --> 00:04:44,Walnut crackles!

00:05:17,966 --> 00:05:19,No, l haven't.

00:05:40,125 --> 00:05:42,You should have opened the gate first.

00:05:42,645 --> 00:05:44,l did open the gate!

00:05:44,525 --> 00:05:46,Smiley, what the devil's going on?

00:05:46,203 --> 00:05:48,- Blimey! What's happened?
- He forgot to open the gate.

00:05:48,763 --> 00:05:51,l didn't forget to open the perishing gate!

00:05:52,004 --> 00:05:54,- You must have done. lt's shut, look!
- That's right.

00:05:55,044 --> 00:05:58,- l shut it when l came in.
- Would you mind shutting up, when...?

00:05:58,085 --> 00:06:00,- You shut it?
- Well, of course l did.

00:06:00,844 --> 00:06:01,Why?

00:06:01,724 --> 00:06:04,lt says, ''Have you closed the gate?''
And l hadn't, so l did.

00:06:04,443 --> 00:06:08,But l'd just opened it to go out, you great big nit.

00:06:08,482 --> 00:06:12,All right, Smiley, l can handle this. Just drive
down to the repair bay before Charlie sees it.

00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:18,- Who are you? What do you want?
- Oh, l want a job.

00:06:25,402 --> 00:06:27,Made a good start, haven't you?

00:06:27,162 --> 00:06:28,Oh, have l started?

00:06:28,802 --> 00:06:32,Look, c***k, shove off. Try the breaker's yard.
lt's more in your line.

00:06:32,362 --> 00:06:34,Oh. Are you the boss or something?

00:06:34,122 --> 00:06:36,l'm what they call the something manager.

00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,And my advice to you is to be off.

00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,- You mean buzz off?
- No, but you're getting warm.

00:06:41,919 --> 00:06:43,But l want to be a taxi driver.

00:06:43,599 --> 00:06:46,The bloke who gave me this card,
he said l'd be all right here.

00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,- ''This is to introduce...'' Oh, ex-army, eh?
- Yeah.

00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:55,Well, the boss likes to look after the boys,
you know. He was in it himself.

00:06:55,759 --> 00:06:58,Yes. ls your name really Tankard?

00:06:58,759 --> 00:07:02,Yes. Terry Tankard,
only the boys always called me Pintpot.

00:07:03,038 --> 00:07:06,Well... Are you sure it was Pint-pot?

00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:10,Oh, yes. You see, it's cos my name is Tankard.

00:07:10,158 --> 00:07:13,Oh, right. Thank you very much indeed.
The boss is out with a cab at the moment,

00:07:13,758 --> 00:07:16,- so you'd better come and have a cuppa.
- Thank you.

00:07:20,718 --> 00:07:23,- Sorry.
- There won't be much of this place left.

00:07:23,798 --> 00:07:26,Well, Ted, where is he, then?

00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,Er...where's who, Peg?

00:07:27,957 --> 00:07:30,You know very well who. The guv'nor.

00:07:30,396 --> 00:07:32,You can't see him now. He's out in a cab.

00:07:32,596 --> 00:07:35,Oh? How do you know?

00:07:35,357 --> 00:07:37,He told me.

00:07:37,396 --> 00:07:39,Oh, l remember now. Yes.

00:07:39,836 --> 00:07:44,- You see, we're rather short of drivers...
- You needn't bother making excuses for him.

00:07:44,235 --> 00:07:48,The fact is, he'd rather spend his time
playing about with a taxi than with me.

00:07:48,116 --> 00:07:50,Oh, don't talk nonsense, Peg.

00:07:50,396 --> 00:07:55,You know he loves playing about with...
l mean spending time with you.

00:07:55,115 --> 00:08:00,What time? He's up and out before l'm awake
and not back till after l'm asleep.

00:08:00,114 --> 00:08:02,l haven't had a chance to talk to him
since last Wednesday,

00:08:02,995 --> 00:08:04,and then it was only with his legs.

00:08:04,874 --> 00:08:06,His legs?

00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:09,Yes, sticking out from under a cab.

00:08:10,234 --> 00:08:12,lt's not fair. He knows l can't get under one.

00:08:13,673 --> 00:08:16,You can't blame him for working hard, Peg.

00:08:16,193 --> 00:08:19,There's lots of women who'd be pleased
to be married to Charlie.

00:08:19,193 --> 00:08:21,So would l, and l'm his wife.

00:08:23,393 --> 00:08:26,Well...l want to talk to him.
Which cab has he g***t out?

00:08:27,753 --> 00:08:29,- 66.
- Clickety-click.

00:08:29,673 --> 00:08:32,l'll give him clickety-click.

00:08:42,472 --> 00:08:45,That's right.
Have you g***t everything on the front?

00:08:45,432 --> 00:08:47,Yes, now, that little one can go on the seat.

00:08:47,430 --> 00:08:49,No, l think l'd better take that.

00:08:49,110 --> 00:08:51,No. No, it had better go on the seat.

00:08:52,591 --> 00:08:55,That's right. Now, then,
the basket can go on the seat with me, too.

00:08:56,071 --> 00:08:58,Now...l'll take the umbrella.

00:08:59,751 --> 00:09:01,Thank you.

00:09:01,790 --> 00:09:05,That's it. Now, then, that just leaves this one,
and be very careful with this.

00:09:05,829 --> 00:09:07,lt's real cowhide.

00:09:07,868 --> 00:09:10,Naturally. lt belongs to a real... Cowhide is it?

00:09:12,389 --> 00:09:16,Are you sure you haven't forgotten anything?
Like kitchen sink, parrot, husband?

00:09:16,550 --> 00:09:18,My husband has passed on.

00:09:19,630 --> 00:09:21,l'm not surprised.

00:09:21,308 --> 00:09:23,Are you sure he's in 66, Mrs H?
He don't answer.

00:09:23,748 --> 00:09:25,l'm positive. Just keep trying.

00:09:25,388 --> 00:09:27,Come in, 66. Where are you?

00:09:27,947 --> 00:09:29,Where are you, 66? Come on, let's have you.

00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:34,All right, all right, Sarge, l'm here.
Don't do your nut. What's all the panic about?

00:09:34,547 --> 00:09:36,l'll talk to him.

00:09:36,186 --> 00:09:39,- Charlie, is that you?
- Oh, blimey.

00:09:39,147...