Bless This House s05e06 The Policeman.eng Subtitles

00:00:04,970 --> 00:00:06,Thank you.

00:00:47,230 --> 00:00:48,Come in.

00:00:49,370 --> 00:00:50,Is that for me, Mr. Ruppers?

00:00:50,890 --> 00:00:51,Ah, yes, Abbott.

00:00:52,390 --> 00:00:53,What have you g***t there?

00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:54,Complaint.

00:00:54,801 --> 00:00:56,Complaint? Yes, about our drawing bins.

00:00:56,830 --> 00:00:59,You can't open these new tins they put
them in.

00:00:59,270 --> 00:01:02,Nonsense, Abbott. Who ever heard of a
tin that you couldn't open?

00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:07,Yes, well, they are a bit stiff.

00:01:09,290 --> 00:01:13,Now, the thing to do is to get a coin.
Have you g***t a coin, Abbott?

00:01:16,090 --> 00:01:17,And you... Put it under the lid and
twist.

00:01:18,260 --> 00:01:25,The trouble is, when you do that, you'll
find that the... They

00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:26,fly all over the place.

00:01:26,201 --> 00:01:31,Yes, well, forget about them now. No,
you can't leave them lying around, you

00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:35,know. Now sit down and listen to me.
Yes. All right, well, it's... Now

00:01:35,540 --> 00:01:40,where the hell are you going?

00:01:41,220 --> 00:01:44,I've g***t to get the first aid kit. Well,
I don't need it. Come back here.

00:01:50,051 --> 00:01:52,It's a chest.

00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,I'll have to stop smoking.

00:01:53,301 --> 00:01:56,Well, drink some of this. It might stop
your coughing for a while.

00:01:56,220 --> 00:01:58,I'll drink some of that and stop me
coughing for good. It's full of drawing

00:01:58,560 --> 00:01:59,pins.

00:01:59,611 --> 00:02:04,Now, I won't beat about the bush,
Abbott. I'd like to come straight to the

00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:05,point. Yes, I saw that.

00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:08,Abbott, I want your wife.

00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:12,Your what?

00:02:13,140 --> 00:02:15,I want her for the Amateur Operatic
Society.

00:02:15,371 --> 00:02:16,Oh, that!

00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:18,Yes. Have you ever seen any of our...

00:02:18,321 --> 00:02:22,Yes, I saw one a couple of years ago.
You made me buy a couple... You asked me

00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:23,to buy a couple of tickets.

00:02:23,740 --> 00:02:25,Oh, which production was that?

00:02:25,340 --> 00:02:26,Oklahoma or Desert Song?

00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:28,The one where the scenery fell on you.

00:02:28,921 --> 00:02:33,Yes, that was Oklahoma. It's a pity you
came that night. Every other night went

00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:34,splendidly. Oh, good.

00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,Well, now, I happen to know that your
wife has a very good voice.

00:02:38,820 --> 00:02:40,I heard her singing at the office party.

00:02:40,940 --> 00:02:43,Oh, that night? Yes, well, we'd all had
a few, you know.

00:02:43,651 --> 00:02:46,Well, we usually have a few before the
show.

00:02:46,060 --> 00:02:47,I know, I've seen you.

00:02:47,111 --> 00:02:51,Well, it's up to you to persuade her.
We're very short of people this year.

00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,Yes, well, I'll have a word with her.
Which show are you doing?

00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:54,The Pirates of Penzance.

00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:56,Oh, I like that one. Good.

00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:57,Do you sing?

00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:58,No.

00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,Well, we're very short of pirates.

00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:02,And, Abbott? Yes?

00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:07,Anyone who wishes to stay with this firm
is expected to rally round in a crisis.

00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:09,No good me rallying round. I can't sing.

00:03:09,961 --> 00:03:11,Abbott, sit down.

00:03:11,860 --> 00:03:14,Mr. Humphreys, please. I've g***t a very
busy week painting the bathroom.

00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,Sit down, Abbott. Yes, right on, Mr.
Humphreys.

00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:22,Now, that was very good.

00:03:23,380 --> 00:03:25,Very few men can hit that note.

00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:30,Very few men want to, Mr. Humphries.

00:03:30,861 --> 00:03:35,Well, I'll expect you at rehearsals on
Saturday, Abbott. Mr. Humphries, please.

00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:36,No argument, Abbott.

00:03:37,060 --> 00:03:39,Saturday. Yes, yes. Well, that's what I
said. Saturday.

00:03:39,780 --> 00:03:40,Can I have my tempeh?

00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:47,Well, I think it sounds fun.

00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:51,You can go on your own. I'm not getting
mixed up in it. Oh, come on, Feed.

00:03:51,781 --> 00:03:55,I ** not going to prance about on that
stage like a bloomin' pirate.

00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,Besides, you've g***t to paint the
bathroom.

00:03:57,220 --> 00:03:58,Mike can paint that.

00:03:58,640 --> 00:03:59,Mike can do what?

00:03:59,980 --> 00:04:01,Paint the bathroom.

00:04:01,031 --> 00:04:03,I thought he was going to do it. I **
going to do it.

00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:04,No, you're not.

00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,He's coming to the rehearsal with me.

00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:09,What? You mean Dad's going to be in the
show?

00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:10,Yes.

00:04:10,531 --> 00:04:14,Listen, I've g***t to see. Listen, get me
ten tickets. I'll bring all the boys

00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:15,along.

00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:17,How dare they?

00:04:17,811 --> 00:04:18,Does what?

00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,I ** not going to stand on that stage
with him and his idiot mates in the

00:04:21,399 --> 00:04:25,audience taking the mickey. They won't
be, Sid. They'll be supporting you.

00:04:25,281 --> 00:04:26,Yeah, I can just hear them.

00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:27,Get him off.

00:04:27,811 --> 00:04:33,Oh, come off it, Dad. We'll be right
behind you all the way. I mean, it takes

00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:36,guts to get up on a stage and sing,
doesn't it? Thank you.

00:04:36,140 --> 00:04:38,Especially with a voice like you've g***t.

00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:43,Sid, now you've g***t to be in it. You
promised Mr Humphrey. I did not. I

00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:44,him you'd be in it.

00:04:45,290 --> 00:04:48,Well, I'm not being in it alone. If
you're not going, I'm not.

00:04:48,241 --> 00:04:49,What about the bathroom?

00:04:49,470 --> 00:04:52,Don't worry about that, Dad. I'll paint
the bathroom.

00:04:52,170 --> 00:04:53,It's all finished.

00:04:53,221 --> 00:04:56,Don't tell me you've painted it. I'm
never going to see that Barry again.

00:04:56,870 --> 00:04:58,I've just rang him up and told him.

00:04:59,230 --> 00:05:00,Oh.

00:05:00,281 --> 00:05:02,You're not going out with him this
afternoon, then?

00:05:02,350 --> 00:05:03,No, of course I'm not.

00:05:03,830 --> 00:05:07,Oh, what a terrible shame. Lovely
afternoon like this.

00:05:07,710 --> 00:05:09,Don't you get nothing to do?

00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:12,Daddy. Just what are you getting at?
Well, your mother doesn't want to go to

00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:14,that rehearsal on her own, so you can go
with her. You meet some nice young

00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:18,fellow there. Take your mind off this,
uh... Barry. Barry, I see, yes.

00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,Sid, it's pirates they're short of.

00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:23,Oh, and wear a beard.

00:05:24,940 --> 00:05:26,And sing soprano.

00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,I should be a different sort of pirate,
won't you?

00:05:30,780 --> 00:05:32,All right, well, I'm off. Get up.

00:05:32,281 --> 00:05:33,Where are you going?

00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,Here an ounce.

00:05:34,540 --> 00:05:37,I thought you were going to paint the
bathroom. I **.

00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:40,You'll need a very long brush if you're
painting it from there.

00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,No, no, no. I'm getting some paint from
Trevor on the cheap. Ta -da.

00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,Goodbye. Enjoy yourselves.

00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,It's his fault.

00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:50,If he's not going, I'm not going alone.

00:05:50,860 --> 00:05:52,It's all right, Mummy. I'll come with
you.

00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:58,Let us gaily tread the measure.

00:05:58,860 --> 00:06:02,Make the most of eating leisure.

00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:21,to do the power -ups. I seem to be the
only one here.

00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:25,What about your husband, Mrs Abbott? Oh,
he'll be along to the other rehearsal.

00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:26,Can we count on that?

00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:30,I'll make sure of it. Well, in that
case, Harper, I might as well run

00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:31,number again.

00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,Are you a pirate, then?

00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:35,Yes, why?

00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,Somebody said you were a policeman.

00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:40,I **, but not in the show.

00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:41,Oh, you mean you're a...