Bless This House s06e03 Fish With Everything.eng Subtitles

00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:54,Yes, Daddy.

00:00:54,810 --> 00:00:56,He should have been home ages ago.

00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,He's calling in somewhere on his way
back from work.

00:00:58,990 --> 00:01:02,Ah, a couple of whiskies at the Heron
Hounds. He'll come home in a good mood.

00:01:02,590 --> 00:01:06,He's not at the Heron Hounds. He's gone
to the doctor's. Why?

00:01:06,211 --> 00:01:07,What's the matter with him?

00:01:07,890 --> 00:01:10,With the price of whisky these days,
he's probably trying to get it on

00:01:10,810 --> 00:01:11,prescription.

00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:15,What can a doctor do for a fellow in his
condition?

00:01:15,271 --> 00:01:19,He hasn't been looking his usual self
for the last week, so I'm making him

00:01:19,350 --> 00:01:21,a check -up. Oh, he hates going to the
doctor's.

00:01:21,641 --> 00:01:23,And he can't stand a medical
examination.

00:01:23,910 --> 00:01:25,I know, but it's for his own good.

00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:28,The only thing he can do for his own
good is have a body transplant.

00:01:28,901 --> 00:01:35,Blasted doctor, what are you sending me
there for? Two solid hours I was in that

00:01:35,670 --> 00:01:36,plumbing waiting room.

00:01:37,550 --> 00:01:38,What did he say, Sid?

00:01:38,731 --> 00:01:40,Did he examine you, Danny?

00:01:40,270 --> 00:01:41,He did.

00:01:41,150 --> 00:01:42,Stripped stark as he had me.

00:01:42,850 --> 00:01:44,I'll bet that cleared the surgery.

00:01:47,810 --> 00:01:50,Didn't the doctor put his finger on
anything specific?

00:01:54,550 --> 00:01:56,Yeah, just before he told me to cough.

00:01:57,571 --> 00:02:01,There's nothing wrong with me, he says.

00:02:01,170 --> 00:02:02,Nothing at all.

00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:05,I'm in the pinker condition. It's all in
the mind, he says.

00:02:05,010 --> 00:02:07,I don't believe you. You're not telling
me the truth.

00:02:08,470 --> 00:02:09,What is it, Daddy?

00:02:09,590 --> 00:02:11,Come on, Dad. We can take it.

00:02:13,690 --> 00:02:16,Just my age, he says. Stupid woman.
Quack.

00:02:16,790 --> 00:02:17,Your age? Yes.

00:02:18,190 --> 00:02:19,What a cheek.

00:02:19,370 --> 00:02:20,But you're still quite young.

00:02:21,150 --> 00:02:23,You're still in the youth of your old
age.

00:02:23,881 --> 00:02:25,That's it.

00:02:25,970 --> 00:02:28,That's happened one day, Dad. The change
of life.

00:02:28,930 --> 00:02:33,Oh, be quiet, Mike. Go on, Sid. Well, he
said, now that I've reached my prime...

00:02:33,870 --> 00:02:34,He said that?

00:02:35,750 --> 00:02:36,Reached your prime?

00:02:37,310 --> 00:02:39,Well, not exactly, but that's what he
meant.

00:02:40,090 --> 00:02:41,Well, go on.

00:02:41,141 --> 00:02:43,I'm trying to, but you keep chipping in
all of it.

00:02:43,410 --> 00:02:46,So there's nothing wrong with you.
You're just at a funny age.

00:02:47,290 --> 00:02:49,There's nothing funny about my age.

00:02:50,150 --> 00:02:52,But you're not saying anything specific,
Sid.

00:02:53,860 --> 00:02:55,Oh, bloody thing was a waste of time.

00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:58,Even his bleeding stethoscope was
freezing cold.

00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,Well, is that all that's wrong, that
you're not at a funny age?

00:03:02,980 --> 00:03:05,Well, didn't he give you anything for
it?

00:03:05,091 --> 00:03:09,What could he possibly give a poor,
broken -down old cart horse who's given

00:03:09,340 --> 00:03:10,best years of his life to you, look?

00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:14,Not even a tonic or something to pep you
up? I don't need anything to pep me up.

00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:17,There's nothing wrong with me. He just
said I need an interest, a hobby of some

00:03:17,260 --> 00:03:18,kind. Hobby? Yes.

00:03:18,820 --> 00:03:21,And I understand they're stalkers, do
hear that?

00:03:22,540 --> 00:03:23,The doctor's right, Sid.

00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,A man does need a hobby.

00:03:25,780 --> 00:03:28,He needs an interest, something you can
get your teeth into.

00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:30,There's a tumbler in the bathroom.

00:03:32,431 --> 00:03:34,Sorry, Daddy.

00:03:34,460 --> 00:03:37,I was only trying to cheer you up. I
don't need cheering up, and I don't need

00:03:37,860 --> 00:03:41,hobby. Come on, Mum. Hurry up. Feed him.
I want to borrow a couple of quid.

00:03:41,231 --> 00:03:44,I'll get you dinner, darling. When
you've eaten, you'll be in a better

00:03:44,980 --> 00:03:46,then we can all decide.

00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:47,Decide what?

00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,Decide which hobby you're going to take
up.

00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:54,Let's see, Mike. What could he do?

00:03:54,770 --> 00:03:56,He could collect car numbers.

00:03:56,461 --> 00:03:58,That's it.

00:03:58,190 --> 00:04:01,He could sit on the front doorstep with
a little notebook.

00:04:01,370 --> 00:04:03,You can have my stamp collection.

00:04:04,030 --> 00:04:07,Or my collection of seashells. Don't be
silly, you two.

00:04:07,490 --> 00:04:12,A man of your father's intelligence and
talents needs something creative and

00:04:12,290 --> 00:04:13,taxing and interesting.

00:04:13,990 --> 00:04:15,Thank you, Donna. It's very kind.

00:04:15,770 --> 00:04:17,I'll teach you how to knit.

00:04:20,450 --> 00:04:21,Knit?

00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:23,Need the new pullover?

00:04:23,391 --> 00:04:24,Long sleeves, please.

00:04:24,650 --> 00:04:26,I could do with the new cardigan.

00:04:26,270 --> 00:04:27,Oh, of course.

00:04:31,810 --> 00:04:37,How's it going, Trevor?

00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:39,Great. There you are.

00:04:40,050 --> 00:04:41,There's your heater.

00:04:41,690 --> 00:04:44,And there's your light.

00:04:45,330 --> 00:04:46,See? Smashing, isn't it?

00:04:47,230 --> 00:04:48,Complete topical fish aquarium.

00:04:49,050 --> 00:04:52,Do you think he'll like it? Oh, yeah.
He'll be dead chuffed with that.

00:04:52,490 --> 00:04:55,You don't think the fish are a bit
small, do you? No.

00:04:55,530 --> 00:04:57,He's never caught any bigger than that.

00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:04,I've g***t a book of instructions on all
different kinds of fish and feeding and

00:05:04,210 --> 00:05:06,care, and you can even breed them.

00:05:06,091 --> 00:05:07,Oh, well.

00:05:07,270 --> 00:05:09,That'll be a perfect hobby for Sid,
then.

00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:10,Won't make plenty of s***x in it.

00:05:10,791 --> 00:05:15,I'll nip off now, and then I'll come
back later on and see if he likes it,

00:05:15,830 --> 00:05:16,right? Bye, Trent.

00:05:16,970 --> 00:05:18,Bye.

00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:23,Where is he? Out somewhere.

00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:25,Where did you put his desk?

00:05:25,841 --> 00:05:27,In the hall.

00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:28,Here's your fish food.

00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:30,Do you think he'll like it?

00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:32,I don't know.

00:05:32,060 --> 00:05:33,Try putting some in his tea.

00:05:35,620 --> 00:05:38,Go and keep an eye out for your father.
He'll be here in a minute.

00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:42,Oh, it's a lovely surprise, Mummy. I'm
sure he'll be very pleased.

00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:46,Isn't it marvellous the way all those
kind of fish all live together?

00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:49,Pity people can't do the same.

00:05:49,701 --> 00:05:53,They probably would do if they all lived
underwater in a little tank.

00:05:53,660 --> 00:05:54,Oh,

00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:56,Sally, go and stand over there.

00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:03,Now, you keep very quiet, and when he
comes in, we'll say, surprise, surprise.

00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,He's taking a long time.

00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:14,Do you think he's lost his key?

00:06:20,979 --> 00:06:22,Yes, it's me.

00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,Well, close your eyes.

00:06:24,780 --> 00:06:26,What are you talking about?

00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,Never mind, just close your eyes.

00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,Oh, Blimey, all right.

00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:32,Are they closed? Yes, yes, yes.

00:06:33,020 --> 00:06:37,Well, I'm going to put the door on the
latch, but you're not to come in until I

00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:38,call you. What's going on here?

00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:42,Never mind, and keep your eyes closed.
Yes, all right.

00:07:00,470 --> 00:07:01,Surprise, surprise!

00:07:04,510 --> 00:07:09,All right,

00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:15,Joey, shut up a minute. Close your beak.

00:07:16,690 --> 00:07:20,All right, now, you lot, that's Cedric,
that's Joey.

00:07:21,550 --> 00:07:22,All right?

00:07:22,950 --> 00:07:25,I...