Birds of a Feather s02e05 Keep Off The Grass Subtitles

At 00:00:01,320, Character said: What will I do when you are far away

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At 00:00:08,119, Character said: and I ** blue?

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At 00:00:12,320, Character said: What will I do when I'm alone

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At 00:00:18,000, Character said: with only dreams of you

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At 00:00:24,340, Character said: that won't come true?

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At 00:00:42,110, Character said: Used morning and night, this moisture
-rich, specially formulated cream will

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At 00:00:49,050, Character said: enhance your skin's natural luster and
delay the aging process.

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At 00:00:54,290, Character said: You don't believe this cobbler, see?

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At 00:00:57,130, Character said: 29 quid that cost me.

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At 00:00:59,760, Character said: Yes, you can't delay the ageing process.

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At 00:01:02,280, Character said: Look at Bruce Forsyth.

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At 00:01:04,580, Character said: Well, what about that mate of Dorian's,
then? If I look like her when I'm 45,

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At 00:01:08,180, Character said: I'll be well pleased. Yeah, she's had so
many facelifts, she'll have a beard

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At 00:01:11,440, Character said: soon.

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At 00:01:12,940, Character said: Look, you might not give a monkey what
you look like when the boys get out of

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At 00:01:15,960, Character said: prison, but I do.

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At 00:01:17,020, Character said: You can't make time staying still.

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At 00:01:20,040, Character said: Wrinkles and bags under your eyes are
God's way of telling you you're

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At 00:01:24,080, Character said: Bags? What bags?

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At 00:01:27,150, Character said: Oh, talking of bags, there she is. Stop.

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At 00:01:31,230, Character said: I'm not late, ** I? Well, put it this
way. We've ordered you a clam and

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At 00:01:35,790, Character said: Well, I'm sorry. It's been a bit of a
morning.

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At 00:01:38,330, Character said: Luke's been letting you play with his
ceramic hob again, has he?

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At 00:01:41,790, Character said: I have been to Lundquist Kitchen, as it
happens.

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At 00:01:44,870, Character said: And I've brought you some new brochures.

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At 00:01:46,930, Character said: Oh, thanks, Dorian. I'll put them with
the 97 others you've given me this week.

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At 00:01:51,030, Character said: Well, I'm sure you'll want a press start
when Chris is out of prison.

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At 00:01:54,430, Character said: I'd rather have a fresh husband.

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At 00:01:56,810, Character said: Michael Douglas would be due to be
getting on with. The way I see it, dear,

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At 00:02:01,010, Character said: way to a man's heart is through his
stomach.

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At 00:02:03,650, Character said: Must be why Marcus has a peptic ulcer.

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At 00:02:06,970, Character said: What's wrong with that, Dorian? I'm
sorry?

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At 00:02:09,550, Character said: Why the sudden obsession with kitchens?
Apart from the fact that your Luke flogs

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At 00:02:12,990, Character said: them for a living. Well, that's just it.

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At 00:02:15,090, Character said: He doesn't.

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At 00:02:16,630, Character said: I mean, he isn't.

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At 00:02:19,230, Character said: There's been a slump in sales.

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At 00:02:20,970, Character said: In fact... They've dropped off
completely.

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At 00:02:23,920, Character said: I didn't say a word.

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At 00:02:26,700, Character said: It hasn't sold more than a mud tree for
weeks now.

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At 00:02:29,860, Character said: I mean, what is wrong with people?

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At 00:02:31,960, Character said: Don't they recognise fine British
craftsmanship when they see it?

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At 00:02:36,060, Character said: Lundquist. British.

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At 00:02:37,820, Character said: It's jack crap, isn't it?

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At 00:02:39,860, Character said: Perhaps they're too busy wasting their
money on silly and important little

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At 00:02:43,620, Character said: things like interest rises and poll tax
bills and stuff.

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At 00:02:47,380, Character said: Not in Chigwell, Tracy. We have
accountants for that.

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At 00:02:50,460, Character said: So what's the problem, then?

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At 00:02:52,620, Character said: If Luke doesn't sell a kitchen soon,
they are threatening to shut the shop

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At 00:02:57,880, Character said: transfer him to a branch up north.

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At 00:03:00,300, Character said: Oh, goodbye, Luke.

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At 00:03:02,440, Character said: And goodbye, rumpy -pumpy behind the
scrubbed -out corner units.

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At 00:03:07,600, Character said: Couldn't you see it in your heart to buy
a kitten, Tracy? Yours is at least

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At 00:03:10,780, Character said: three years old.

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At 00:03:12,020, Character said: No, I couldn't. Me and Daryl chose it
together. He'd be glad if he came home

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At 00:03:15,840, Character said: find different cabinets.

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At 00:03:16,960, Character said: Look, think of it this way. You'd be
bringing your home into the 21st century

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At 00:03:21,100, Character said: and you'd be saving my marriage.

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At 00:03:23,300, Character said: Saving your marriage?

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At 00:03:24,620, Character said: We've g***t more chance of saving the
Brazilian rainforest.

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At 00:03:27,480, Character said: Don't you see? Luke makes my marriage
last.

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At 00:03:30,620, Character said: He takes the pressure off poor Marcus by
satisfying my essential need.

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At 00:03:35,630, Character said: He performs a vital role.

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At 00:03:38,290, Character said: How do you do it, Dorian?

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At 00:03:40,930, Character said: Her agent, she wants diagrams.

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At 00:03:43,790, Character said: I'm sorry, Dorian, you'll have to find
someone else. I don't want a new

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At 00:03:47,350, Character said: Oh, well, the best laid planned.

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At 00:03:49,770, Character said: Or the best planned lay.

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At 00:03:52,510, Character said: You could always try and find yourself a
new fella.

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At 00:03:55,310, Character said: In case Lundquist do give Luke the old
evo.

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At 00:03:58,710, Character said: Anything here take your fancy?

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At 00:04:00,650, Character said: Sharon, I couldn't.

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At 00:04:02,300, Character said: Luke is a very warm, giving person. He
means the world to me.

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At 00:04:08,360, Character said: Nice bum on that one.

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At 00:04:13,340, Character said: What about him over there, look?

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At 00:04:16,959, Character said: Oh, that one up there, look. Oh, he's
nice.

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At 00:04:20,019, Character said: Sharon, please. The man with the face
like a pizza I can do without.

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At 00:04:24,380, Character said: Sharon, who does he remind you of?

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At 00:04:27,480, Character said: Jason Donovan.

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At 00:04:28,840, Character said: Vinny Hutchins.

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At 00:04:30,920, Character said: That piece of scum.

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At 00:04:32,780, Character said: No, it can't be.

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At 00:04:34,560, Character said: He's doing a five -stretch in medicine
with Chris and Daryl, isn't he? I heard

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At 00:04:37,800, Character said: he was there.

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At 00:04:40,200, Character said: Can't have been for good behaviour.

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At 00:04:42,160, Character said: Another graduate of the Nicholas Ridley
Charm School.

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At 00:04:45,220, Character said: Anyway, this is all purely academic.

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At 00:04:47,600, Character said: Luke's the one that I want.

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At 00:04:49,540, Character said: Ooh, ooh, ooh!

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At 00:05:03,820, Character said: I envy Dorian.

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At 00:05:04,880, Character said: What? Her energy, her passion, the way
she knows what she wants and she goes

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At 00:05:09,720, Character said: it. No, the way she can blow 60 quid on
make -up without batting a false

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At 00:05:13,580, Character said: eyelash.

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At 00:05:15,820, Character said: And that flash motor of hers.

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At 00:05:17,960, Character said: Yeah, nice little motor, innit?

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At 00:05:20,920, Character said: And Luke.

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At 00:05:22,680, Character said: If I found him in my bed, I'd give him
24 hours to get out.

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At 00:05:36,600, Character said: Bloody hell.

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At 00:05:38,180, Character said: Are you acting?

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At 00:05:39,660, Character said: You are as you ask.

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At 00:05:44,320, Character said: Wait for the standard, you said.

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At 00:05:46,500, Character said: See what he's done, you said.

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At 00:05:48,260, Character said: Well, we did, and we have. So now what?

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At 00:05:51,300, Character said: So now chuck us over another gypsy
cream, will you?

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At 00:05:56,140, Character said: Pensioner Edna Phillips, 72, is still
recovering from shock after the Scarface

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At 00:06:01,300, Character said: Raider thrust a sawn -off shotgun into
her stomach.

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At 00:06:04,650, Character said: And all you can think about is gypsy
cream.

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At 00:06:07,290, Character said: Cheryl, you've g***t to face facts.

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At 00:06:09,170, Character said: Vinnie Hutchins pulled a job today and
we're witnesses.

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At 00:06:11,930, Character said: We've g***t to turn him in.

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At 00:06:13,370, Character said: It says here the raider wore an Arsenal
bobble hat.

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At 00:06:17,210, Character said: Yeah.

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At 00:06:18,530, Character said: Well, Vinnie supports Spurs, doesn't he?

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At 00:06:21,850, Character said: This is serious. He had a shooter.

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At 00:06:24,450, Character said: Look, Chris and Daryl didn't exactly go
to work with water pistols in their

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At 00:06:27,730, Character said: pocket, you know. What are you getting
at? My Daryl's shotgun weren't even

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At 00:06:30,670, Character said: loaded. Oh, well, that must have been a
huge... comfort to the poor beggars who

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At 00:06:35,060, Character said: had it stuck in their stomachs.

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At 00:06:37,240, Character said: The point is, Tracy Stubbs, you don't
grasp on your own.

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At 00:06:40,640, Character said: What do you mean, your own?

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At 00:06:42,380, Character said: Oh, don't be so stupid, Trace.

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At 00:06:44,920, Character said: How do you think Daryl paid for this
little lot, eh?

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At 00:06:47,500, Character said: SO tokens.

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At 00:06:49,500, Character said: How dare you compare my Daryl to that
slimebag Vinnie Hutchins?

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At 00:06:53,660, Character said: Sorry, your Daryl was the Roger Moore of
the sawn -off shotgun, was he?

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At 00:06:59,400, Character said: It don't matter.

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At 00:07:01,710, Character said: You know what your Daryl's going
through.

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At 00:07:04,470, Character said: Banged up for years in that Victorian
car, see?

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At 00:07:07,470, Character said: No exercise, crap food, having to do his
business in a bucket with that nasty

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At 00:07:12,870, Character said: bug roll that slides off your bum.

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