Birds of a Feather s02e01 Getting A Grip Subtitles

00:00:01,610 --> 00:00:07,What will I do when you are far

00:00:07,690 --> 00:00:14,away and I ** blue? What will

00:00:14,450 --> 00:00:21,I do when I'm alone with only

00:00:21,250 --> 00:00:25,dreams of you?

00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:47,me or has it gone colder?

00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,Oh, it's Garfield.

00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:52,Oh, love him. He's really good about
writing.

00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,Oh, he ain't. That's only the second
letter you've ever read from him.

00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,Yeah, well, this time it's a very long
letter.

00:00:59,580 --> 00:01:03,Dear Mum, I'm writing this so you find
out from me rather than from the

00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:04,teachers. Oh, my God.

00:01:05,540 --> 00:01:10,First of all, don't worry. There wasn't
a lot of damage and it's all been sorted

00:01:10,260 --> 00:01:11,out now. Oh, no.

00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:13,Blimey, what's he done?

00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,Well, it's nearly all been sorted out.

00:01:15,550 --> 00:01:17,It all started because I was being
persecuted.

00:01:18,310 --> 00:01:19,Oh, that's good, isn't it?

00:01:19,890 --> 00:01:20,What do you mean, good?

00:01:22,410 --> 00:01:23,Well, he knows big words.

00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:24,Persecuted.

00:01:25,450 --> 00:01:26,Oh, yeah.

00:01:26,610 --> 00:01:27,Oh, little love.

00:01:28,450 --> 00:01:30,Oh, look how he spelt it with a C.

00:01:31,650 --> 00:01:34,You do spell it with a C.

00:01:35,230 --> 00:01:36,Do you? I thought it was a K.

00:01:37,970 --> 00:01:39,Get on with it, Trace.

00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:44,And Henry Routledge said, what does your
old man do? And I said he was banged up

00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:45,for armed robbery.

00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:46,Oh, nice one, girl.

00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:48,Well, we brought him up to tell the
truth.

00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,And he said that I must come from a very
violent family.

00:01:52,340 --> 00:01:54,Well, I couldn't just take that, so I
decked him.

00:01:56,140 --> 00:01:57,Oh, my God.

00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:58,Oh, I can't read any more.

00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,Er, he was standing against this tree.

00:02:02,340 --> 00:02:05,Well, he had been standing until I hit
him.

00:02:06,380 --> 00:02:09,It was a young tree. He broke it when he
fell.

00:02:09,860 --> 00:02:12,He's a great fat guts rat, Lidge.

00:02:13,140 --> 00:02:15,He's about twice the size of Aunty
Sharon.

00:02:19,580 --> 00:02:20,Thank you, gosh.

00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:22,It don't mean nothing, Shell.

00:02:22,740 --> 00:02:24,Yeah, well, I'm going on a diet.

00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:25,Get on with it.

00:02:25,660 --> 00:02:28,I think it cost a lot of money.

00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:31,I'd like to talk to you about it, so I'm
coming home this weekend.

00:02:32,430 --> 00:02:35,See you then. Love you, Gav. Oh, that'll
be nice. At least I'll have coffee for

00:02:35,950 --> 00:02:36,a weekend.

00:02:37,910 --> 00:02:38,What are all those letters?

00:02:39,490 --> 00:02:40,Just bills and stuff.

00:02:41,110 --> 00:02:42,What do you mean, bills and stuff?

00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:46,I haven't even opened them. I don't have
to. They're all under ex -orders.

00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:47,Daryl told me.

00:02:47,770 --> 00:02:49,Yeah, but you've still g***t to check
them, don't you?

00:02:49,910 --> 00:02:52,Can I just leave them? Yes, go on.

00:02:52,490 --> 00:02:53,All right.

00:02:54,830 --> 00:03:00,What are those dates, hey?

00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:02,18.

00:03:03,740 --> 00:03:09,If we do not receive full payment by the
17th, we shall disconnect your service.

00:03:09,780 --> 00:03:11,Oh, my God.

00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,That's why it's so cold in here.

00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:14,You've had your electric cut off.

00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:21,If we do not receive the minimum amount
of £120 by the 11th, we shall institute

00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,legal proceedings without further
warning.

00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:25,What's that?

00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:28,Access. Well, there's been a monthly
payment, but it ain't been enough.

00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:32,Legal proceedings? Oh, my God.

00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:34,Stay on that.

00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:37,That's it. That's why I haven't paid it.
I'm on a cruise.

00:03:37,540 --> 00:03:38,Oh,

00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:40,please, Shell.

00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:41,Come on.

00:03:50,660 --> 00:03:51,Dorian. I can't stay long.

00:03:56,180 --> 00:03:57,It's very warm in here.

00:03:58,600 --> 00:03:59,Your guttering's blocked.

00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,Water cascades out of it. Every time it
rains, your garden looks like an advert

00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:04,for lavatory cleanser.

00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:09,Where's Tracy?

00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,It's only Dorian.

00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:15,What do you mean, only? It is Dorian.

00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:17,Thank God for that.

00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:21,Well, that's a welcome. Who were you
expecting?

00:04:21,779 --> 00:04:24,The police or the bailiffs. I beg your
pardon?

00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,She'd come to complain about our
guttering.

00:04:27,450 --> 00:04:29,Why? What's the matter with it? It's
blocked.

00:04:29,490 --> 00:04:30,When it rains, it makes a waterfall.

00:04:31,370 --> 00:04:33,Does it? Well, it's only in my garden.

00:04:33,230 --> 00:04:35,Yes, but it's near our bedroom. It's
like trying to sleep at the foot of

00:04:35,930 --> 00:04:36,Falls.

00:04:37,790 --> 00:04:41,It kept us both awake all last night,
and I don't like having Marcus awake in

00:04:41,090 --> 00:04:42,the middle of the night. It gives him
ideas.

00:04:45,350 --> 00:04:46,Well, you know Marcus.

00:04:47,010 --> 00:04:49,He and his investments are inseparable.

00:04:49,830 --> 00:04:53,When shares were slow to come up after
the 87 crash, so was he, which puts

00:04:54,860 --> 00:04:58,But recently, he's been telling me his
prices have started to harden.

00:04:59,540 --> 00:05:01,So I've had to be on a key bead, as it
is.

00:05:02,580 --> 00:05:04,Why are you expecting the police?

00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:05,She ain't paid the electric.

00:05:06,780 --> 00:05:09,Is that why it's so cold in here? Have
they cut you off?

00:05:09,580 --> 00:05:10,No, they have not.

00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,Oh. Are you in dire financial straits?

00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:15,Do you mind?

00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:18,Look, what are we going to do about the
guttering? Nothing. I'm too busy. Leave

00:05:18,420 --> 00:05:21,me alone. I've g***t enough to worry
about. What with Garfield and Exie.

00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:24,And the fact that you haven't done large
amounts of washing up that you promised

00:05:24,850 --> 00:05:25,to do.

00:05:25,550 --> 00:05:29,Yeah, well... What's wrong with Garth?
We just had a letter. Nothing!

00:05:31,090 --> 00:05:32,Taking drugs, is he?

00:05:32,830 --> 00:05:33,No, he is not.

00:05:34,130 --> 00:05:35,Just mind your own will, you Dorian.

00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:37,I'm only trying to be helpful.

00:05:38,710 --> 00:05:43,Sympathetic. They are a great worry
these days, adolescents, what with drugs

00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,AIDS and so on.

00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,Yeah, well, it's nothing like that,
Dorian. And mental problems.

00:05:49,190 --> 00:05:50,You know...

00:05:50,410 --> 00:05:51,Getting girls in trouble.

00:05:52,770 --> 00:05:54,Getting boys in trouble.

00:05:55,530 --> 00:05:56,There's no water.

00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,Well, they have cut you off, then. They
have not.

00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:00,They have.

00:06:00,350 --> 00:06:02,It's the same as the eating, isn't it?
It's days.

00:06:02,470 --> 00:06:03,It's not. Look.

00:06:04,190 --> 00:06:07,Oh, yeah. Well, he said that you can't
pay his school fees. Mind you, that

00:06:07,730 --> 00:06:11,upset him. Kids hate other kids knowing
that their parents are poor.

00:06:11,810 --> 00:06:13,Dorian. I said I can't stop.

00:06:15,190 --> 00:06:17,I'd be glad if you'd fix that guttering.

00:06:17,770 --> 00:06:21,I don't want Marcus trying to recapture
his lost youth. It'd be embarrassing.

00:06:23,570 --> 00:06:24,Bye now.

00:06:27,850 --> 00:06:28,That woman.

00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:33,So what are we going to do about the
guttering, then? Nothing. Nothing at

00:06:33,190 --> 00:06:34,I'm too busy.

00:06:34,890 --> 00:06:36,Joyce, you're going to have to get a
grip.

00:06:37,150 --> 00:06:39,You know, in this house, and all your
business, go to pot.

00:06:40,070 --> 00:06:41,Put the kettle on.

00:06:41,550 --> 00:06:42,We've just had coffee.

00:06:42,910 --> 00:06:45,You're putting the kettle on to do the
washing up.

00:06:47,210 --> 00:06:49,at me, I'll get a grip on your neck.

00:07:03,370 --> 00:07:05,Come on, you can phone now. I start
early.

00:07:05,950 --> 00:07:07,I don't know who I'm going to phone yet.

00:07:08,810 --> 00:07:11,What do you mean? The central eating's
on the blink. You want a plumber, don't

00:07:11,690 -->...