Simp 2024 Subtitles

00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:20,Your call is being forwarded to an auto-

00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:30,Hello?

00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:40,Hello.

00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:50,Anybody in here?

00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,Oh! Sleeping beauty's up!

00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:49,Two hours, 13 minutes and 20 seconds.

00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,That's a new record, Todd.

00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:54,Hey. I didn't want to kill her.

00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:56,All right?

00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,Oh, boy.

00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:01,What? Looks like someone's
starting to get a little soft...

00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:03,I'm not soft.
- What?

00:05:04,013 --> 00:05:06,You're hard?

00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,Look, I've just learned.

00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,During prior experiences...

00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:12,Prior experience? My a***s.
- All right.

00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:14,How many times we done this?

00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:17,Okay.

00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:18,Don't answer that.

00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,You're a retard.

00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:23,Thanks I'll be here all week!

00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:27,Actually, you won't.

00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,Very funny.

00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:31,I'm not joking.

00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:33,What?

00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:34,Sorry, bro.

00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,Your services are no longer needed.

00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,What do you mean? My
services aren't needed?

00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,My services are always needed.

00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,Not this time, sport.

00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:45,Well, you can let me at least.

00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:45,Boss's orders dog!

00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:48,Sorry! Oh Boss's orders.
That's f***g cute.

00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:51,So then,

00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,what the hell are you going to do all week?

00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:55,I've g***t plenty to do all week.

00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:58,You sick f***k, you sick f***k.

00:05:58,232 --> 00:05:59,Ok I'm not talking about that.

00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,And what the hell are you talking about?

00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,I'm talking about none ya.

00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:05,None ya goddamn business?

00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:07,Ha-ha you're f***g hilarious.

00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:08,See you're so jealous gay boy.

00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:09,Look at you!

00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:11,Yeah.

00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,I may be gay,

00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:14,but at least I'm not a f***g faggot

00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:15,like you are! Wow.

00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,Wow.

00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,The jealousy right now is f***g,

00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:21,like, seeping out of your pores.

00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,How dare you come out with homophobia?

00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:28,I've g***t a brother who's
gay, for Christ's sake.

00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:32,Hey, pipe it down back there.

00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:34,I said, pipe it the f***k!

00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:36,Goddamn it!

00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:39,Just f***g go take care of it.

00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:40,Okay.

00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,Get a move on, Elton John.

00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:45,S***k my crocodile c***k.

00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:51,You know, crocodiles have, like,
scientifically very small penises, right?

00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:55,So do you!

00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:38,Ugh.

00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:50,You look hot!

00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:54,Are you hot?

00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,Awww.

00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,You're sweaty.

00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,All right.

00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:03,Here's what we're going to do.

00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:05,We're going to blast the AC.

00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,Isn't that cool?

00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:12,And you are going to be f***g quiet.

00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:15,You w***e.

00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:16,You w***e!

00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:17,You w***e!
Yeaaaghahaa!

00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:23,But seriously, though,

00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,if you want to live, you know,

00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:28,just be quiet.

00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:31,Capiche?

00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,Don't worry. Sugar tit.

00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,We're almost there.

00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,Hey. Oh,

00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:40,and by almost there, I
mean, we're only about

00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:43,three hours away.

00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,Well.

00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,Well, what?

00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,Well, what do you expect me to do?

00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:05,Bro, I don't care what you do.

00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,Your work is done here.

00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,You think you can handle this on your own?

00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,Yeah, I know I can handle it on my own.

00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,This is a big step up for you.

00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,Not really.

00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,Don't act like this isn't a big deal.

00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:21,It's not a big deal.

00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,It's a huge deal.

00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:37,Just take the camry and f***g go.

00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,Fine.

00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:47,Don't call me if you need anything.

00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,I won't need anything.

00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:50,Okay, great. Don't call me.

00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:51,I won't.

00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:52,Okay, great.

00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:56,Grand. F***g fantastic. Bye.

00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:57,See you later.

00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,Tell your boyfriend I said hello.

00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:35,All right.

00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,Thank you. Course I will.

00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:37,There you go.

00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:39,There are two mimosas.

00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,Anything else I can do for you girls?

00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,Hello?

00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,Hello?

00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:02,That's a cute pic.

00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:06,Yes. Here's to my bestie
moving up in this world.

00:13:08,373 --> 00:13:10,You must be thirsty.

00:13:13,190 --> 00:13:17,Don't worry.

00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:19,You won't be cuffed for too much longer.

00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,You hungry?

00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:30,I can make you some
Top Ramen if you'd like.

00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:04,Help! Somebody help me!

00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:07,Somebody help me!

00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:09,Help!

00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,Somebody help!

00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:16,Go ahead and scream.

00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:17,All you'd like.

00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:25,That, Nobody's going to hear you out here.

00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:28,Or us.

00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:34,Oh. You don't need this, do you?

00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,Bon Apetit!

00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:48,I mean, she s***s at
replying to text messages.

00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:52,But normally she doesn't take this long.

00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:53,Oh. Hell naw.

00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,Come on. She's, like. Glued to that screen.

00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:58,Do you even try to call the manager?

00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,No I haven't.

00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:01,What about the agent?

00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,Yo like, maybe she don't
have reception up in there.

00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:05,Good idea.

00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:06,Let me try now.

00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,Okay, cool. I'll call you back.

00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:11,I
Don't think it's going to be easy

00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,but it's not going to be tough

00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,$50,000?

00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,I think we can ask for more

00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:23,Hey.

00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:25,Check it out.

00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,Opening bid is $30K.

00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,What?

00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:36,For Sunday's auction.

00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,Excuse me.

00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:40,Auction?

00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:43,The auction?

00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,You know, for the 17th century antiques.

00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:54,Hello?

00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:56,It's for you!

00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:58,You're for sale, my darling.

00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:01,What do you think?
- I was just gonna.

00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:03,Keep you here?

00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,What do you want from me?

00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:10,Thing is, it's not really up to me.

00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:11,It's.

00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,It's up to the auction.

00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:17,You'll go to the highest bidder.

00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:21,Hey, you know, you never know.

00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:24,You could get snatched
up by a billionaire prince.

00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:27,True fairy tale story!

00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,I think I'm gonna be sick.

00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,Well.

00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:36,Actually, there is a uh,

00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,There's an alternative option.

00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:50,If you...