The Drew Carey Show s07e23 Rich Woman, Poor Man Subtitles

At 00:00:00,999, Character said: Morning, boss.

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At 00:00:01,980, Character said: Morning, Mimi.

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At 00:00:03,080, Character said: Oh, nice tiara. I g***t one just like it.
We found it in a palace my daddy bought.

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At 00:00:09,500, Character said: Oh, I found mine in the ladies' room at
the dog track.

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At 00:00:15,380, Character said: And I'm wearing it because it's
Secretary's Day.

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At 00:00:18,600, Character said: It's Secretary's Day?

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At 00:00:20,420, Character said: Well, you're kind of like my assistant.

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At 00:00:22,640, Character said: I should do something nice for you.

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At 00:00:25,180, Character said: I know.

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At 00:00:26,590, Character said: I'll give you Helford.

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At 00:00:31,050, Character said: You're giving me your manservant? Sure.

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At 00:00:34,450, Character said: For a week, he'll do anything for you.
You don't mind, do you, Helford?

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At 00:00:40,030, Character said: I'm here to serve, madam. If it is your
wish, I'm happy to do it.

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At 00:00:45,250, Character said: Isn't he cool?

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At 00:00:46,510, Character said: He talks like that all the time.

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At 00:00:50,730, Character said: Morning, everybody.

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At 00:00:51,830, Character said: Hey, Helford.

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At 00:00:54,110, Character said: Call that man a pig.

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At 00:00:56,350, Character said: Very good, madam.

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At 00:00:58,110, Character said: Hear ye, hear ye, let all with ears
attend.

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At 00:01:01,630, Character said: Mr. Beck would like those assembled to
know that the gentleman before you is a

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At 00:01:05,890, Character said: common barnyard swine.

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At 00:01:11,070, Character said: Will there be anything else, madam?

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At 00:01:13,450, Character said: Yeah, I need you to rub my feet.

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At 00:01:15,950, Character said: Nobody else in town will touch them.

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At 00:01:24,680, Character said: As you wish, madam. Once again, thank
you.

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At 00:01:31,100, Character said: So, Drew, I've decided to fix you up
with my mom.

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At 00:01:36,500, Character said: Your mom?

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At 00:01:38,420, Character said: Wasn't she a model or something? Why
would she want to get fixed up with me?

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At 00:01:42,120, Character said: Well, I'm tired of her getting hurt by
all these jet -sending playboys.

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At 00:01:45,920, Character said: You're so nice and stable and calming.
You know, like a glass of warm milk.

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At 00:01:53,760, Character said: Hey, you know what, baby?

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At 00:01:54,760, Character said: Milk can go bad.

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At 00:01:57,920, Character said: Sweetie, I'm here.

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At 00:01:59,760, Character said: Mom!

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At 00:02:03,600, Character said: Mom, this is Drew, the guy I was telling
you about.

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At 00:02:07,600, Character said: Oh, you're right. He does look like a
young Brian Dennehy.

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At 00:02:13,400, Character said: I'll take that.

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At 00:02:14,420, Character said: Some people say I look like the commish.

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At 00:02:18,520, Character said: Ah, this must be your mother, the lovely
Lady Money. Mercer, I'm nice.

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At 00:02:25,320, Character said: Could I have my diamond ring back,
please?

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At 00:02:29,060, Character said: What ring?

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At 00:02:33,860, Character said: Sir, I understand you're in need of an
escort.

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At 00:02:37,020, Character said: Care to see Cleveland my way?

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At 00:02:40,440, Character said: And how will you point out the sights
with all my jewelry in your mouth?

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At 00:02:45,940, Character said: Interesting how you brought the
conversation round to my mouth.

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At 00:02:50,380, Character said: Patience, patience, my sweet. The joy is
in the hunt.

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At 00:02:58,890, Character said: So, Mom, Drew has agreed to show you
around.

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At 00:03:02,570, Character said: Right, Drew?

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At 00:03:03,670, Character said: Yeah, I mean, sure, if it's okay with
you. I'd love to.

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At 00:03:06,510, Character said: So, um, what kind of things do you like
to do?

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At 00:03:09,430, Character said: Uh, does Cleveland have any good art
museums?

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At 00:03:18,930, Character said: What's so funny?

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At 00:03:20,250, Character said: Uh, last time I was at the art museum, I
was in second grade, and, uh, we saw a

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At 00:03:24,210, Character said: painting of a woman getting out of a
bathroom and you could see her butt.

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At 00:03:32,330, Character said: That museum was great, huh?

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At 00:03:34,170, Character said: Yeah, and you were right.

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At 00:03:35,770, Character said: That was one big butt.

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At 00:03:38,470, Character said: What do you want to do now?

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At 00:03:40,190, Character said: Actually, I'd love to drive your car.

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At 00:03:44,030, Character said: Really? Do you like my car?

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At 00:03:46,090, Character said: I do.

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At 00:03:47,510, Character said: It's so down to earth, so real.

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At 00:03:51,230, Character said: Let me try it.

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At 00:03:53,270, Character said: Please?

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At 00:04:02,510, Character said: You know, this doesn't corner as well as
my Lamborghini.

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At 00:04:11,850, Character said: All this energy calling

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At 00:04:18,730, Character said: me Back where it comes from It's such a
crude attitude

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At 00:04:25,110, Character said: It's back where it...

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At 00:04:47,659, Character said: Ohio! Yeah,

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At 00:04:49,600, Character said: I've been in a little accident.

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At 00:04:51,360, Character said: Yeah,

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At 00:04:54,180, Character said: it's an overturned beetle.

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At 00:04:56,540, Character said: It's white. It's g***t red flames painted
on the side.

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At 00:05:00,690, Character said: Listen, I'm not going to give you the
license plate number. I'm just going to

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At 00:05:02,690, Character said: see if you can find it.

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At 00:05:06,730, Character said: I feel awful about this.

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At 00:05:09,250, Character said: And I insist on buying you a whole new
car.

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At 00:05:11,670, Character said: What does something like this cost?

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At 00:05:13,470, Character said: Seventy, eighty thousand?

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At 00:05:16,790, Character said: Yeah.

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At 00:05:19,850, Character said: Look, just get the dents fixed, okay?

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At 00:05:22,550, Character said: I'm really sorry.

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At 00:05:24,450, Character said: Oh, don't worry. Just put tight the tow
truck will be here in about fifteen

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At 00:05:26,650, Character said: minutes.

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At 00:05:31,920, Character said: I'm hungry.

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At 00:05:34,880, Character said: Well, what would you like?

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At 00:05:36,580, Character said: Here at Overturned Beetle, we have an
extensive selection.

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At 00:05:41,960, Character said: Okay. I should keep some candy right
here in the center console.

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At 00:05:46,300, Character said: Oh. Here you go.

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At 00:05:48,540, Character said: Well, let's split them.

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At 00:05:55,840, Character said: This gravity thing, they have it where
you're from, right?

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At 00:06:01,200, Character said: You know, I've never met anyone like
you.

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At 00:06:03,380, Character said: You drive yourself to the office every
day in your little car, and you work

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At 00:06:07,820, Character said: behind your desk from nine to five, and
then you go bowling with your buddies.

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At 00:06:12,640, Character said: I love that.

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At 00:06:14,600, Character said: Oh, my God.

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At 00:06:16,320, Character said: I'll let you drive my car. You're drunk
out of your mind.

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At 00:06:19,640, Character said: No, I'm serious.

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At 00:06:21,900, Character said: When you're rich, life gets so
complicated.

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At 00:06:25,720, Character said: Listen, if we ever get out of here...
You smell the gas, too? Uh -huh.

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At 00:06:30,979, Character said: So, if we ever get out of here, I'd like
to see what regular people do on a

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At 00:06:35,160, Character said: Friday night.

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At 00:06:36,000, Character said: Well, after I drive, I was just going to
go to a bar and hang out with my

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At 00:06:38,980, Character said: buddies. Oh, that sounds great.

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At 00:06:41,820, Character said: It would be so nice to stop being this
spoiled little rich girl for once and

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At 00:06:45,880, Character said: just be one of the guys.

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At 00:06:49,780, Character said: My neck's getting tired. Could you hold
my head up for me?

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At 00:06:58,120, Character said: So after six years of careful training,
the scientists at Drugco finally g***t a

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At 00:07:01,740, Character said: dolphin to talk.

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At 00:07:02,640, Character said: Wow, a talking dolphin.

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At 00:07:04,960, Character said: What does it say? Same thing all the
other animals say. I'll talk, I'll talk,

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At 00:07:08,320, Character said: just stop shocking me.

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At 00:07:14,460, Character said: This place is so comfortable, just like
they tell me an old shoe would be.

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At 00:07:20,970, Character said: This place looks like a sanctuary from
the outside world for us. Nothing can

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At 00:07:24,410, Character said: to us here.

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At 00:07:25,310, Character said: War, hunger, sunsets, love, marriage,
family.

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At 00:07:30,390, Character said: Hey, hey.

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At 00:07:31,890, Character said: More drinking, less thinking. Oh, yeah.

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At 00:07:35,410, Character said: How long have you been friends? Oh,
since the second grade.

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At 00:07:38,830, Character said: He was sweet, but a little slow.

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At 00:07:41,770, Character said: Skinny and weird.

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At 00:07:43,050, Character said: And Drew was nice, but a little
overweight.

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At 00:07:46,650, Character said: Hey, I think you're lucky. Everybody I
know has, like... Five or six houses,

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At 00:07:51,410, Character said: they're always jetting around the world.

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At 00:07:53,030, Character said: My friendships never last.

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At 00:07:54,850, Character said: And if I do find a friend, I don't know
if they like me or my money.

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At 00:07:58,170, Character said: So what you're saying, while you may be
richer in money, we're richer in other

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At 00:08:01,410, Character said: ways.

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At 00:08:02,930, Character said: Interesting. Crap, but interesting.

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At 00:08:10,010, Character said: Hey, hey, let's figure out who pays the
bill.

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At 00:08:12,390, Character said: We have a little chug -a -lug contest.
You pay the check. Okay, we're on three.

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At 00:08:15,910, Character said: One, two...

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At 00:08:24,680, Character said: Bow down before my enlarged liver.

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At 00:08:28,660, Character said: The contest is over.

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At 00:08:32,520, Character said: Well, I may...