Family Matters s09e01 Out With the Old Subtitles
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00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:06,Just the guy I wanted to see.
00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,Forget it, Laura. I'm not going out with
any of your skanky friends.
00:00:12,260 --> 00:00:13,What's that I hear?
00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:16,Ah, yes, a sigh of relief from all of my
friends.
00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,What do you want, Laura?
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:25,Well, look, my sorority's having a
charity fundraiser, and we're getting
00:00:25,420 --> 00:00:27,guys to auction off kisses to the
highest female bidder.
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,Stefan's gonna do it. What about you?
Ooh!
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:44,here i recognize my voice that there are
certain girls yes of low
00:00:44,980 --> 00:00:49,intelligence and impaired eyes i don't
have enough money to bid on anything you
00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:52,know i'm hiding on them and these lips
are gonna raise big money for your
00:00:52,060 --> 00:00:58,sorority i'm here if you need me that is
if you need any more hot guys
00:00:58,740 --> 00:01:04,i have lips my lips are s***y
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:09,It's sexier than I thought.
00:01:30,460 --> 00:01:31,Hey, sweetheart.
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:35,Guess what? I have such wonderful news.
00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:39,tell me what it is and we'll both dance.
00:01:43,050 --> 00:01:44,Oh, I g***t a promotion.
00:02:16,290 --> 00:02:17,No, no, no.
00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:19,No, no. Congratulations.
00:02:21,870 --> 00:02:23,I need a shower.
00:02:29,530 --> 00:02:30,Whee!
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:47,Mara, earlier today... When you invited
Ed O to participate in your sorority
00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:51,auction? Well, I couldn't help but
notice that you didn't ask me.
00:02:53,150 --> 00:02:56,Oh, uh, well, Steve... Wait a minute.
Let me finish.
00:02:57,090 --> 00:02:58,Okay.
00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:01,Now, truth be told, I was devastated.
00:03:02,810 --> 00:03:05,I couldn't figure out why you would try
to hurt my feelings.
00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:08,Well, Steve, I wasn't... Why not then?
00:03:08,910 --> 00:03:09,Get ahead of me.
00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:12,You weren't trying to hurt my feelings.
00:03:13,489 --> 00:03:16,You were trying to spare my feelings,
right?
00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:21,Well, I was just afraid that if you were
in the auction and no one bid on you,
00:03:22,050 --> 00:03:23,you might be humiliated.
00:03:24,590 --> 00:03:25,And you were right.
00:03:25,930 --> 00:03:26,I would have been.
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:30,But I want you to invite me anyway.
00:03:31,350 --> 00:03:32,Why?
00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:35,Well, I've always been comfortable with
myself.
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:45,I have been suggesting that for years.
00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:47,Often quite loudly.
00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:49,I know.
00:03:49,420 --> 00:03:51,And finally, I'm gonna listen.
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:54,Yep.
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,No longer is it I gotta be me.
00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:05,From now on, it's I gotta be Beth.
00:04:09,860 --> 00:04:10,That's good for you, Steve.
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,Mm -hmm.
00:04:20,779 --> 00:04:21,I could be better.
00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:29,Hi, honey.
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,Hi. Want to celebrate my promotion?
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,Here,
00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:36,you do the honors.
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,Looks expensive.
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:42,It is, a little.
00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:46,But I suppose we can afford it now with
your new promotion.
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:54,Honey, I thought we could snuggle up
here on the couch, sip a little bubbly,
00:04:54,490 --> 00:04:56,then retire early.
00:04:57,310 --> 00:05:01,Sweetheart, I can't open a champagne if
you're crawling all over me.
00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:04,Sorry. It's okay.
00:05:14,170 --> 00:05:16,Carl, what's the matter?
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:24,Harriet, you want to know what's the
matter?
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:26,Well, I'm going to tell you what's the
matter.
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,You're emasculating me, Harriet.
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:31,Emasculating?
00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:36,What? Just because I'm making more money
than you, Carl?
00:05:37,140 --> 00:05:38,That's right.
00:05:38,180 --> 00:05:41,Harriet, the person who makes the most
money wears the pants in the family.
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,Well, you're making more money than me
now.
00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:47,So, you're going to start wearing the
pants.
00:05:53,130 --> 00:05:55,is absolutely ridiculous. Harry, we're a
team.
00:05:55,690 --> 00:05:57,No, no, no, no, no, no, no, sir.
00:05:58,890 --> 00:05:59,Uh -uh.
00:06:00,010 --> 00:06:01,Not team, Harriet.
00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:03,Crew.
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,Crew, Harriet.
00:06:05,970 --> 00:06:07,And I was the captain of the crew.
00:06:25,610 --> 00:06:26,Precious swabbing.
00:06:27,490 --> 00:06:30,But now, you're the captain, Harriet.
00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:34,New captain's going up to her quarters.
00:06:36,410 --> 00:06:41,But until a new swabbing learns the true
meaning of teamwork, he's going to be
00:06:41,350 --> 00:06:43,bucking his butt down here in the brig.
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:00,Good evening, everyone.
00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:06,Tonight's speech therapy class will
concentrate on the... Stop it!
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,At a moment, old doc. I just need a
moment to get situated.
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:11,I ** living proof that the techniques
you're about to learn really work. I
00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:12,to have a terrible stutter.
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,That's downright inspirational.
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:18,Why don't we start by introducing
ourselves and describing our problem?
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:20,Yeah. Who'd like to go first?
00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:23,Roy Simpson?
00:08:25,580 --> 00:08:26,I have a list.
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,And our second thought, that cheese...
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:39,I'm Pepe Perez.
00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:42,And I spit when I speak.
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,Well, I'm Sheila Rockport.
00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:54,And my voice is too deep.
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:19,bachelor is in this girl's humble
opinion the coolest guy in all of
00:09:19,870 --> 00:09:24,please give it up for the one the only
step on her tail
00:09:24,270 --> 00:09:40,ladies
00:09:40,790 --> 00:09:46,ladies ladies now This event is for such
a good cause that I wanted to make sure
00:09:46,290 --> 00:09:47,I was ready.
00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:51,So Laura and I have spent the last three
days warming up these lips.
00:09:54,430 --> 00:09:59,Since Stephon is my guy, I want to open
and close the bidding at $50.
00:09:59,970 --> 00:10:00,$60!
00:10:03,590 --> 00:10:05,She know me think you didn't understand.
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:07,Stephon is my man.
00:10:07,490 --> 00:10:09,So we'll just close the bidding at $65.
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,bachelor has been called the prince of
love.
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:35,Yeah, well, he's the only one who calls
himself that.
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,Please give it up for my brother, Eddie
Winslow.
00:12:09,230 --> 00:12:13,My name is Eddie Winslow, better known
as the Prince of Love.
00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:15,That's right.
00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:19,And if you buy my kisses, you'll feel
like royalty.
00:12:19,490 --> 00:12:23,So, dig deep, ladies, if you want to
swing from these lifts.
00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:31,I think out of courtesy, we should let
Eddie's girlfriend, Greta, make the
00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:32,bid.
00:12:35,290 --> 00:12:38,I'll give any girl... $25 to take him
off my hands.
00:12:41,170 --> 00:12:42,$25?
00:12:42,850 --> 00:12:44,I'll start the bidding at 30.
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:30,Nice dress.
00:13:31,330 --> 00:13:33,Somewhere there's a butt n***d clown.
00:14:36,780 --> 00:14:37,I can't help it, Hamlet.
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,No, get some clothes.
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,Harriet!
00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,Harriet! Shh.
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,You'll wake the whole house, Carl. Hey,
sweetheart, could you come down for a
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:00,sec? I'd like to talk to you.
00:15:01,180 --> 00:15:02,Come on.
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:05,Come on. To the left. Straight ahead.
Come on.
00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:09,Come on, there you go.
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,Concert parking?
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:18,Well, yep, this is my new extra job. I'm
moonlighting.
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:19,Oh, really?
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:20,Yes, really.
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:25,I ** one of 25 folks who gets to show
you your parking spot when you come to
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:26,Tom Jones.
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:30,It's not unusual to be loved by anyone.
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,It's not unusual to have fun with
anyone.
00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:39,There's a reason why Tom sings and you
park cars.
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. See,
you don't understand.
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:49,With...
00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,Forget it, Laura. I'm not going out with
any of your skanky friends.
00:00:12,260 --> 00:00:13,What's that I hear?
00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:16,Ah, yes, a sigh of relief from all of my
friends.
00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,What do you want, Laura?
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:25,Well, look, my sorority's having a
charity fundraiser, and we're getting
00:00:25,420 --> 00:00:27,guys to auction off kisses to the
highest female bidder.
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,Stefan's gonna do it. What about you?
Ooh!
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:44,here i recognize my voice that there are
certain girls yes of low
00:00:44,980 --> 00:00:49,intelligence and impaired eyes i don't
have enough money to bid on anything you
00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:52,know i'm hiding on them and these lips
are gonna raise big money for your
00:00:52,060 --> 00:00:58,sorority i'm here if you need me that is
if you need any more hot guys
00:00:58,740 --> 00:01:04,i have lips my lips are s***y
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:09,It's sexier than I thought.
00:01:30,460 --> 00:01:31,Hey, sweetheart.
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:35,Guess what? I have such wonderful news.
00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:39,tell me what it is and we'll both dance.
00:01:43,050 --> 00:01:44,Oh, I g***t a promotion.
00:02:16,290 --> 00:02:17,No, no, no.
00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:19,No, no. Congratulations.
00:02:21,870 --> 00:02:23,I need a shower.
00:02:29,530 --> 00:02:30,Whee!
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:47,Mara, earlier today... When you invited
Ed O to participate in your sorority
00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:51,auction? Well, I couldn't help but
notice that you didn't ask me.
00:02:53,150 --> 00:02:56,Oh, uh, well, Steve... Wait a minute.
Let me finish.
00:02:57,090 --> 00:02:58,Okay.
00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:01,Now, truth be told, I was devastated.
00:03:02,810 --> 00:03:05,I couldn't figure out why you would try
to hurt my feelings.
00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:08,Well, Steve, I wasn't... Why not then?
00:03:08,910 --> 00:03:09,Get ahead of me.
00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:12,You weren't trying to hurt my feelings.
00:03:13,489 --> 00:03:16,You were trying to spare my feelings,
right?
00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:21,Well, I was just afraid that if you were
in the auction and no one bid on you,
00:03:22,050 --> 00:03:23,you might be humiliated.
00:03:24,590 --> 00:03:25,And you were right.
00:03:25,930 --> 00:03:26,I would have been.
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:30,But I want you to invite me anyway.
00:03:31,350 --> 00:03:32,Why?
00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:35,Well, I've always been comfortable with
myself.
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:45,I have been suggesting that for years.
00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:47,Often quite loudly.
00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:49,I know.
00:03:49,420 --> 00:03:51,And finally, I'm gonna listen.
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:54,Yep.
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,No longer is it I gotta be me.
00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:05,From now on, it's I gotta be Beth.
00:04:09,860 --> 00:04:10,That's good for you, Steve.
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,Mm -hmm.
00:04:20,779 --> 00:04:21,I could be better.
00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:29,Hi, honey.
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,Hi. Want to celebrate my promotion?
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,Here,
00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:36,you do the honors.
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,Looks expensive.
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:42,It is, a little.
00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:46,But I suppose we can afford it now with
your new promotion.
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:54,Honey, I thought we could snuggle up
here on the couch, sip a little bubbly,
00:04:54,490 --> 00:04:56,then retire early.
00:04:57,310 --> 00:05:01,Sweetheart, I can't open a champagne if
you're crawling all over me.
00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:04,Sorry. It's okay.
00:05:14,170 --> 00:05:16,Carl, what's the matter?
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:24,Harriet, you want to know what's the
matter?
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:26,Well, I'm going to tell you what's the
matter.
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,You're emasculating me, Harriet.
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:31,Emasculating?
00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:36,What? Just because I'm making more money
than you, Carl?
00:05:37,140 --> 00:05:38,That's right.
00:05:38,180 --> 00:05:41,Harriet, the person who makes the most
money wears the pants in the family.
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,Well, you're making more money than me
now.
00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:47,So, you're going to start wearing the
pants.
00:05:53,130 --> 00:05:55,is absolutely ridiculous. Harry, we're a
team.
00:05:55,690 --> 00:05:57,No, no, no, no, no, no, no, sir.
00:05:58,890 --> 00:05:59,Uh -uh.
00:06:00,010 --> 00:06:01,Not team, Harriet.
00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:03,Crew.
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,Crew, Harriet.
00:06:05,970 --> 00:06:07,And I was the captain of the crew.
00:06:25,610 --> 00:06:26,Precious swabbing.
00:06:27,490 --> 00:06:30,But now, you're the captain, Harriet.
00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:34,New captain's going up to her quarters.
00:06:36,410 --> 00:06:41,But until a new swabbing learns the true
meaning of teamwork, he's going to be
00:06:41,350 --> 00:06:43,bucking his butt down here in the brig.
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:00,Good evening, everyone.
00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:06,Tonight's speech therapy class will
concentrate on the... Stop it!
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,At a moment, old doc. I just need a
moment to get situated.
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:11,I ** living proof that the techniques
you're about to learn really work. I
00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:12,to have a terrible stutter.
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,That's downright inspirational.
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:18,Why don't we start by introducing
ourselves and describing our problem?
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:20,Yeah. Who'd like to go first?
00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:23,Roy Simpson?
00:08:25,580 --> 00:08:26,I have a list.
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,And our second thought, that cheese...
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:39,I'm Pepe Perez.
00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:42,And I spit when I speak.
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,Well, I'm Sheila Rockport.
00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:54,And my voice is too deep.
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:19,bachelor is in this girl's humble
opinion the coolest guy in all of
00:09:19,870 --> 00:09:24,please give it up for the one the only
step on her tail
00:09:24,270 --> 00:09:40,ladies
00:09:40,790 --> 00:09:46,ladies ladies now This event is for such
a good cause that I wanted to make sure
00:09:46,290 --> 00:09:47,I was ready.
00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:51,So Laura and I have spent the last three
days warming up these lips.
00:09:54,430 --> 00:09:59,Since Stephon is my guy, I want to open
and close the bidding at $50.
00:09:59,970 --> 00:10:00,$60!
00:10:03,590 --> 00:10:05,She know me think you didn't understand.
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:07,Stephon is my man.
00:10:07,490 --> 00:10:09,So we'll just close the bidding at $65.
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,bachelor has been called the prince of
love.
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:35,Yeah, well, he's the only one who calls
himself that.
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,Please give it up for my brother, Eddie
Winslow.
00:12:09,230 --> 00:12:13,My name is Eddie Winslow, better known
as the Prince of Love.
00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:15,That's right.
00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:19,And if you buy my kisses, you'll feel
like royalty.
00:12:19,490 --> 00:12:23,So, dig deep, ladies, if you want to
swing from these lifts.
00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:31,I think out of courtesy, we should let
Eddie's girlfriend, Greta, make the
00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:32,bid.
00:12:35,290 --> 00:12:38,I'll give any girl... $25 to take him
off my hands.
00:12:41,170 --> 00:12:42,$25?
00:12:42,850 --> 00:12:44,I'll start the bidding at 30.
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:30,Nice dress.
00:13:31,330 --> 00:13:33,Somewhere there's a butt n***d clown.
00:14:36,780 --> 00:14:37,I can't help it, Hamlet.
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,No, get some clothes.
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,Harriet!
00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,Harriet! Shh.
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,You'll wake the whole house, Carl. Hey,
sweetheart, could you come down for a
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:00,sec? I'd like to talk to you.
00:15:01,180 --> 00:15:02,Come on.
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:05,Come on. To the left. Straight ahead.
Come on.
00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:09,Come on, there you go.
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,Concert parking?
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:18,Well, yep, this is my new extra job. I'm
moonlighting.
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:19,Oh, really?
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:20,Yes, really.
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:25,I ** one of 25 folks who gets to show
you your parking spot when you come to
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:26,Tom Jones.
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:30,It's not unusual to be loved by anyone.
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,It's not unusual to have fun with
anyone.
00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:39,There's a reason why Tom sings and you
park cars.
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. See,
you don't understand.
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:49,With...
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