Family Matters s09e18 Throw Urkel From the Train Subtitles

00:00:12,110 --> 00:00:13,Something smells good.

00:00:13,510 --> 00:00:16,It's your breakfast, your royal
swellness.

00:00:20,650 --> 00:00:22,Oh, oh, oh, oh.

00:00:24,990 --> 00:00:25,Voila!

00:00:27,450 --> 00:00:33,Two eggs over easy, bacon medium, hash
browns avec onion with juice de la

00:00:34,550 --> 00:00:39,All my favorite stuff. What's going on?
Let's just say if you were to choose me

00:00:39,670 --> 00:00:41,as your life mate...

00:00:41,629 --> 00:00:43,This repast would be your future.

00:00:46,750 --> 00:00:49,Guys, the most incredible thing
happened.

00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:51,Let me guess, let me guess, let me
guess, let me guess, let me guess, let

00:00:51,570 --> 00:00:52,guess. You met a guy.

00:00:52,690 --> 00:00:53,Yes!

00:00:55,770 --> 00:01:02,His name is

00:01:02,670 --> 00:01:06,DeAndre Moore. I met him last week at
the sizzle club, and we've gone out

00:01:06,090 --> 00:01:07,every night since.

00:01:07,570 --> 00:01:10,Well, why didn't you call me? Yeah,
what's wrong with you, girl?

00:01:14,510 --> 00:01:15,thing in case things fizzled out.

00:01:16,230 --> 00:01:17,So tell us about DeAndre.

00:01:18,270 --> 00:01:22,Well, he's a little older than me. Oh,
that just means he's a man and not a

00:01:28,490 --> 00:01:31,Get over here.

00:01:33,850 --> 00:01:39,Girl, he is so fine. He owns his own
business, drops a beamer, and spoils me

00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:40,rotten. Girl,

00:01:41,590 --> 00:01:42,I like him already.

00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:47,And today, he gave me a one -week
anniversary gift that is the absolute

00:01:47,580 --> 00:01:50,Ask me what time it is. Oh, no, no. Let
me, let me, let me, let me, let me.

00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:54,What time is it? Time? I don't want to
ask.

00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,I cannot tell you what time it is.

00:01:59,060 --> 00:02:00,Because the gold...

00:02:35,820 --> 00:02:36,How was your day?

00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:39,Ah. Oh, that's nice.

00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:41,Are you hungry?

00:02:41,740 --> 00:02:43,I see.

00:02:45,260 --> 00:02:48,I'm sorry, Harriet, but I've been in a
bad mood all day.

00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,Do you know that I have to go to the
White House and see the President of the

00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:53,United States?

00:02:53,460 --> 00:02:57,You poor baby. You'll have to cancel
your lunch with the Pope.

00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,You remember Charlie Carnelli? Oh, sure.

00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:03,Well, he's being appointed.

00:03:04,460 --> 00:03:08,special advisor to the president on
crime policy. And they're honoring him

00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:09,some big gala event.

00:03:10,660 --> 00:03:16,Wow. I guess taking that job with the
Justice Department really paid off for

00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:18,Charlie. Ah, he just g***t lucky.

00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:25,Sweetheart, he put eight drug lords
behind bars and seized 47 kilos of

00:03:25,820 --> 00:03:27,That a dog did all the work.

00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:54,important people in my life to meet.

00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:56,Laura, this is DeAndre.

00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:57,Nice to meet you, DeAndre.

00:03:58,620 --> 00:04:03,Charmed. I can see why you and Max are
friends.

00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,The fine do flock together.

00:04:07,860 --> 00:04:09,Come in. Have a seat.

00:04:14,700 --> 00:04:15,Hey.

00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,Hey, girl. What you doing way over
there? This ain't church.

00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:37,So, uh, DeAndre, uh, Max tells me you
own your own business.

00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,I'm a big trader in the global economy.

00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:44,Oh, what do you trade?

00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:45,Electronics and yams.

00:04:48,780 --> 00:04:50,I'm kidding about the yams.

00:04:52,979 --> 00:04:54,He's so funny.

00:04:56,940 --> 00:04:57,Excuse me, ladies.

00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:02,Yo.

00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:05,No.

00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:06,So?

00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:09,Man, go with the flow.

00:05:12,540 --> 00:05:15,Listen, baby, um, I g***t to split.

00:05:15,790 --> 00:05:16,Why? What's wrong?

00:05:16,870 --> 00:05:20,Well, that was one of my associates. He
screwed up. I g***t a few fires that, you

00:05:20,850 --> 00:05:21,know, I g***t to put out.

00:05:21,830 --> 00:05:23,Is there anything I can do to help?

00:05:23,610 --> 00:05:25,No, there's... Well,

00:05:26,150 --> 00:05:27,maybe there is.

00:05:27,590 --> 00:05:30,Baby, can you drop a couple packages off
for me tomorrow?

00:05:30,590 --> 00:05:31,Packages?

00:05:32,130 --> 00:05:33,Yams.

00:05:33,950 --> 00:05:34,Yams.

00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:40,No problem, DeAndre. Baby, you know
something?

00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,You and me, we make a good team.

00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:55,Laura, Max was right about you, baby.
You g***t it going on and on.

00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,Thanks,

00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:00,DeAndre.

00:06:13,870 --> 00:06:18,not supposed to mean? It means that I
like him.

00:06:19,890 --> 00:06:23,If you really liked him, you'd both be
going, ah, right now.

00:06:25,570 --> 00:06:31,Well, um, the truth is, Mac, I think
he's a little

00:06:31,290 --> 00:06:33,slick.

00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:35,What do you mean slick?

00:06:36,490 --> 00:06:37,Well, not slick in a bad way.

00:06:38,510 --> 00:06:39,Slick in a slippery way.

00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:43,Then why can't you just be happy for me?

00:06:44,250 --> 00:06:46,DeAndre's just not the kind of guy I
would pick out for you.

00:06:48,150 --> 00:06:50,Well, you didn't pick him, Laura. I did.

00:06:50,890 --> 00:06:55,And if you can't understand what he
means to me, then maybe you're not as

00:06:55,230 --> 00:06:56,friend as I thought.

00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:15,She's upset because I don't like her new
boyfriend, DeAndre Moore.

00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,Well, you g***t a lot of nerve talking
about somebody else's boyfriend.

00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,You going out with Steve Urkel.

00:07:25,860 --> 00:07:28,Are you serious, Eddie?

00:07:29,380 --> 00:07:31,Get a bad vibe from this guy.

00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:34,Well, want to make a few calls, have him
checked out?

00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:36,Yeah. I don't want Max to get hurt.

00:07:37,380 --> 00:07:38,Consider it done.

00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:40,I really appreciate this, Eddie.

00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:41,Hey, no problem.

00:07:41,630 --> 00:07:44,I wash your back and you wash my
laundry.

00:08:22,830 --> 00:08:23,Thanks for helping me sleep.

00:08:25,770 --> 00:08:28,Why didn't you get a porter to carry all
these bags?

00:08:29,690 --> 00:08:30,Wouldn't waste a dollar.

00:08:33,130 --> 00:08:34,Gee, this is a tiny room.

00:08:35,150 --> 00:08:36,I'll say.

00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:52,agree that this is a very small room.

00:08:53,540 --> 00:08:57,I guess it's time for me to go.

00:08:58,240 --> 00:08:59,Yep.

00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:05,You know, I'm not one for soppy
goodbyes. Well, neither ** I, so

00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,I cherish you, Carl Winslow.

00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,Come back to me, Steve.

00:09:15,660 --> 00:09:17,Okay, Steve. See you later.

00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:19,Excuse me.

00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:20,I g***t to go wash up. Excuse me.

00:09:28,660 --> 00:09:31,I'll hang up his bag. There you go.

00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:08,and relax.

00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:15,Steve?

00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,Steve?

00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:26,Are you all right?

00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,Bishop Tutu?

00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:44,Steve, you're not supposed to be on the
train.

00:10:45,580 --> 00:10:46,Huh?

00:10:46,620 --> 00:10:47,Huh?

00:10:48,140 --> 00:10:49,We're moving.

00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,Excuse me. Excuse me.

00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:57,Yes,

00:10:57,540 --> 00:10:58,what is it?

00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:00,We have a little problem here.

00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,He's not a passenger.

00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,Don't be silly. He's on board. The train
is moving. He's a passenger.

00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,But he doesn't have a ticket.

00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,Oh, then he's not a passenger.

00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:13,He's a criminal.

00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:18,Maybe we can drop him off at the next
stop.

00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:22,This is an express train. No stops
between here and Washington, D .C.

00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,Not even any slow curves?

00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:27,Nope.

00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:29,Well, how much are the tickets?

00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:31,$220.

00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:34,Oh, well, I think I could swing that
with a little help from you, Carl.

00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:36,Well, how much do you need?

00:11:37,140 --> 00:11:38,$220.

00:11:47,820 --> 00:11:52,a compartment about two or three cars
down this train is completely sold out

00:11:52,340 --> 00:11:56,either he stays with you or he sleeps on
the roof he's gonna need a blanket up

00:11:56,700 --> 00:12:03,there oh okay he could stay with me i'll
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