family_matters_s04e01_surely_you_joust Subtitles

At 00:00:07,760, Character said: Uh,

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At 00:00:15,220, Character said: Steve, you're late for work. I know,
Sweetums, but I had to put the finishing

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At 00:00:19,480, Character said: touches on my latest invention.

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At 00:00:21,200, Character said: So what'd you invent this time?

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At 00:00:22,760, Character said: Well, I like to improve my efficiency as
a waiter, so I took my skateboard and

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At 00:00:27,080, Character said: I... Well, you'll see. It's
demonstration time.

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At 00:01:13,800, Character said: It's a rare condition, this day and age,
to read any good news on the newspaper

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At 00:01:19,840, Character said: page. And love and tradition of the
grand design, some people say, is even

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At 00:01:26,120, Character said: harder to find.

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At 00:01:28,500, Character said: Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.

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At 00:01:35,680, Character said: Cause all I see is a tower of dreams,
real lovers in every scene.

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At 00:01:48,490, Character said: The bigger love of the family.

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At 00:02:06,310, Character said: Okay, son.

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At 00:02:07,970, Character said: Herb, hand me those wire cutters.

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At 00:02:10,270, Character said: Okay, but what's the big rush?

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At 00:02:11,970, Character said: We want to finish installing this dish
in time for tonight's world bikini

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At 00:02:15,550, Character said: contest.

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At 00:02:38,510, Character said: Well, where is everyone?

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At 00:02:40,250, Character said: Oh, uh -huh.

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At 00:02:43,010, Character said: You, me, lips, samooch.

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At 00:02:49,310, Character said: You, me, oh, fist, her.

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At 00:02:54,210, Character said: Oh, you kidder. So, what were you doing
up there? Shaving the old pits?

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At 00:03:01,310, Character said: I was not shaving my pits.

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At 00:03:07,820, Character said: Anna, go for the biker chick look.

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At 00:03:12,080, Character said: Oh,

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At 00:03:13,860, Character said: what'd I say?

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At 00:03:19,660, Character said: Women.

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At 00:03:21,380, Character said: Careful with those wires, Dad. You don't
want to get fried.

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At 00:03:25,880, Character said: Son, relax.

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At 00:03:27,760, Character said: I ** no neophyte when it comes to
electronics.

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At 00:03:30,540, Character said: You see, these wires will connect to
this cord, and this cord is not plugged

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At 00:04:21,519, Character said: young to do the laundry.

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At 00:04:25,500, Character said: Rachel, where did you get that?

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At 00:04:27,300, Character said: Hey, it's not mine.

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At 00:04:28,720, Character said: Then whose is it?

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At 00:04:35,820, Character said: Come on.

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At 00:04:37,320, Character said: You bought this?

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At 00:04:39,280, Character said: Of course not.

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At 00:04:41,420, Character said: It was a gift.

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At 00:04:53,320, Character said: He wants me to shout out to him how the
picture looks.

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At 00:04:57,140, Character said: Mr. Winslow!

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At 00:04:59,160, Character said: Yeah?

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At 00:05:02,660, Character said: The picture looks real dark.

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At 00:05:05,960, Character said: Walter, honey, the TV's not on.

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At 00:05:10,300, Character said: Oh, shoot, then I came in here for
nothing.

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At 00:05:13,720, Character said: Walter, wait, wait, wait.

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At 00:05:15,420, Character said: We'll turn on the TV for you.

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At 00:05:29,040, Character said: I'm doing that.

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At 00:05:31,280, Character said: Hang out loud.

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At 00:05:33,060, Character said: Work with me, people.

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At 00:05:36,920, Character said: That's a stupid boy.

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At 00:05:42,920, Character said: Look, we lucked out.

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At 00:05:44,700, Character said: American Gladiators is on.

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At 00:05:46,220, Character said: 20 seconds to go. Spencer has adopted a
defensive position. What's American

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At 00:05:50,600, Character said: Gladiators? It's a macho game show. Two
contestants battle gladiators, and

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At 00:05:55,260, Character said: whoever gets the most points wins.

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At 00:05:57,140, Character said: Yeah, I love it. this show.

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At 00:05:59,190, Character said: There's never been a lot of half -n***d
men flaunting their muscles.

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At 00:06:02,850, Character said: Exactly. I love this show.

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At 00:06:06,770, Character said: See that guy right there?

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At 00:06:08,310, Character said: You mean Sabre?

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At 00:06:09,910, Character said: She knows their names.

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At 00:06:12,790, Character said: There's my cousin.

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At 00:06:14,510, Character said: You g***t a cousin on television?

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At 00:06:16,570, Character said: Sure. Of course, he's not the only
successful fall, though.

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At 00:06:19,910, Character said: I have an uncle at Harvard.

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At 00:06:21,270, Character said: Does he teach?

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At 00:06:22,870, Character said: Nope. His head's in a glass jar.

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At 00:06:33,800, Character said: This is not a dance floor.

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At 00:06:35,560, Character said: And what are you doing up here anyway?
Didn't I tell you to stay away?

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At 00:06:38,740, Character said: Oh, now, come on, Carl. That little
electrocution thing should be a dim

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At 00:06:42,760, Character said: by now.

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At 00:06:52,280, Character said: Hey, that cleared my sinuses.

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At 00:06:58,060, Character said: Steve, we're almost done up here. Don't
mess things up.

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At 00:07:01,360, Character said: Well, look, I'll just have a little
look, Steve.

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At 00:07:07,270, Character said: Yeah. Mm -hmm.

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At 00:07:09,490, Character said: Mm -hmm.

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At 00:07:10,910, Character said: Mm -hmm. Uh -oh.

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At 00:07:13,110, Character said: What uh -oh?

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At 00:07:14,250, Character said: Well, you use wood screws instead of
masonry screws.

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At 00:07:17,630, Character said: Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy.

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At 00:07:19,430, Character said: Wood screws are good enough.

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At 00:07:21,490, Character said: Well, sure, as long as the wind never
blows.

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At 00:07:23,770, Character said: One good guess and this baby's a lawn
sculptor.

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At 00:07:27,870, Character said: Steve, get off this roof. Now, Carl, I
think you're being... Get off this roof.

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At 00:07:31,990, Character said: If you just give me... Get off this
roof, get off this roof, get off this...

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At 00:08:26,890, Character said: Fortunately, we landed on Steve.

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At 00:08:29,590, Character said: Come on, Waldo.

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At 00:08:32,770, Character said: Let's go get some ice.

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At 00:08:34,110, Character said: Good idea, because my sody pops warm.

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At 00:09:12,330, Character said: to apologize to you?

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At 00:09:16,010, Character said: I came over to lend a helping hand, but
you were

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At 00:09:22,810, Character said: rude and patient and not a nice host.

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At 00:09:26,750, Character said: You ruined our satellite dish, and you
almost killed me and my son.

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At 00:09:33,330, Character said: And you think that justifies coarse
behavior?

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At 00:10:53,480, Character said: society and by golly we should handle
our differences in a civilized way

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At 00:10:56,860, Character said: fortunately i have a cousin that can
make that happen

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At 00:11:00,880, Character said: tonight

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At 00:11:11,620, Character said: on american gladiators a special grudge
match between beauty neighbor that's

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At 00:11:16,780, Character said: right mike tonight's matchup is between

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At 00:11:45,520, Character said: Welcome back, and let's talk to our
feuding neighbors.

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At 00:11:47,880, Character said: Bone Crusher, I understand that besides
our cash prize, you have a little side

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At 00:11:51,760, Character said: bet going. That's right, Mike. If I win,
and I most certainly will, he has to

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At 00:11:57,080, Character said: stay away from my house for the rest of
his life.

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At 00:12:00,520, Character said: And Hurricane, what happens if you win?

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At 00:12:03,020, Character said: Oh, there's no if, Mr.

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At 00:12:05,340, Character said: Zonka. When I win, this rude cop has to
give me a heartfelt apology.

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At 00:12:11,940, Character said: No, say it, don't spray it.

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At 00:12:14,600, Character said: Okay, gentlemen, go get ready for the
first event, and good luck.

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At 00:12:21,040, Character said: Let's see how our contestants match up.

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At 00:12:29,600, Character said: Yes, sir, this is a classic David and
Goliath matchup. It's strength versus

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At 00:12:33,960, Character said: agility.

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At 00:12:35,120, Character said: And, Larry, our first event is the
joust. The contender has 30 seconds to

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At 00:12:39,500, Character said: knock the gladiator from his platform.

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At 00:12:41,300, Character said: If he does, he gets 10 points.

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At 00:12:43,580, Character said: First up, Steve Hurricane Urkel, but he
draws the awesome turbo.

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At 00:13:36,560, Character said: Pretty good job of avoiding that
pugilist.

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At 00:13:38,840, Character said: Spoke too soon.

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At 00:13:44,260, Character said: That's Turbo's 11th victory this season.

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At 00:14:42,000, Character said: You're taking an early lead in the
competition.

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At 00:14:46,120, Character said: You hit my husband again, and you'll
have to answer to me.

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At 00:14:50,800, Character said: I'm down again.

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At 00:14:52,140, Character said: Yeah, spread the word. Don't mess with
Mrs.

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At 00:14:54,600, Character said: Bone Crusher.

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At 00:15:00,060, Character said: Okay, Steve, you're down ten points.

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At 00:15:02,840, Character said: I may be down, but I'm far from out, my
man, my man.

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At 00:15:06,560, Character said: Well, Hurricane, it's time for the wall.
You've g***t to get to the top before the

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At 00:15:10,160, Character said: gladiator pulls you off.

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At 00:15:11,600, Character said: You think you can do it?

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At 00:15:12,760, Character said: Piece of cake.

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At 00:15:15,640, Character said: No. Fine.

132...