Faithless s02e02 November.eng Subtitles

00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,- Hey, Zu.
- I'll be back in three days.

00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:03,- What... What are you talking about?
- Sam!

00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:06,ZU: I f***g telling him
I was going back to work.

00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:07,Hi.

00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:09,- MO: 'Uncle Gamal.'
- He's not f***g coming here.

00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:12,All men in our family cursed!

00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,I think you should move out, Cormac.

00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:19,- Mam kicked me out, just like that.
- What the f***k are you talking about?

00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:22,SAM: I'm way too busy.
I ** this close to selling my script!

00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:25,- So, any questions for me?
- Not right now.

00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:33,'Experiencing erectile dysfunction
is not uncommon.

00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:34,'It's when these experiences

00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,'become consistent
and persistent that it's a problem.

00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,'I'm going to give you a morning ritual
to make your p***s stronger

00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:44,'and give you a better, firmer erection.

00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:47,'Even possibly making it a little bigger.

00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:50,'For older gentlemen,
it'll even tighten the testicles.'

00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:54,Your boyfriend wants to bless
Mum's new headstone?

00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:59,Bear offered to perform an aromatic
aiding ritual. It's spiritual, Layla.

00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:01,- Do you want to do hands with me, Layla?
- No.

00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:04,Come on, Lina.
An "aromatic aiding ritual"?

00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:07,- Mum didn't even like scented candles.
- Bear wants to be there for me.

00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:10,You might understand one day,
if you ever get a man.

00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:15,'OK, remove any restrictive clothing.

00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:18,'Feel loose and relaxed.

00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:22,'Take out your p***s
and start by stroking the p***s.

00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:24,'While executing a steady stroke,

00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:28,'contract the bulbospongiosus muscle that
wraps around the base of the p***s...'

00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,(AUDIO STOPS)

00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:35,No, no, no.

00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:38,VIDEO: '..Contract and relax.

00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,'Contract...

00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:46,- '..and relax. Contract...'
- Aagh!

00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,Aagh!

00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:53,- Want to do "hands" with me, Lina?
- No.

00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:56,And that's not how air quotes work.
Get ready for school.

00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:58,- What's this?
- Put it back! It's Uncle Cormac's.

00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:00,Go and get ready!

00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:06,- Cormac!
- (DOORBELL)

00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:08,CORMAC: I have seen too much, Sammie!

00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,Why would you be n***d, arse up
on the bed like that, waiting for me?

00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:15,I wasn't waiting for you! I didn't know
you were going to come in, did I?

00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,And I was, yeah, yeah. I was n***d.

00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:20,- N***d in my room!
- LAYLA: Ew!

00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:23,- I'd like to go now.
- Well, Mr Amin.

00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,In a time full of filters,
being brave enough to be seen n***d

00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,is pretty cool in my book.

00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,- Shalam shallak, everybody.
- Thank you, Mark.

00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,It's Salaam alaykum.
Teach him that, did you?

00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,Shalam shallack, pal.
Do not change the subject!

00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,It is scrotally unacceptable
to have those things swinging around.

00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,- You'd put small person's eye out!
- Do you want to do hands with me, Bawbaw?

00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:42,Careful. Watch your eyes, pet.

00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:44,Here, put your lunch in your bag.

00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:50,They're Uncle Cormac's new breasts.

00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:54,To think you thought he'd have nothing
to do since quitting his job.

00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,Where does one purchase
something like that?

00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,Groupon, Mark, they have everything.

00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:01,Watch. Now, we can chest-feed Ruby

00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,and she will be comfortable with us
as male nurturers.

00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,- I think I'd like to leave now.
- Me too.

00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,Don't forget, me at two,
then Lina, then the grave, yeah?

00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,Yeah.
And how will this look to people, Cormac?

00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,Me breastfeeding my niece
with a big pair of rubber-double-Ds?

00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,It'll take the focus off
your droopy balls!

00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:24,Anyway, look,
I need to talk to you, Sammie.

00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:26,I'm not talking to Mum at the moment,

00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,but she's saying
she's not going to Tracy's grave,

00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,so you need to talk to her about that, OK?

00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,But don't tell her I told you
to talk to her about that.

00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:38,- Also tell her that I have quit my job.
- OK, yeah.

00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:40,Oh, tell her also
that I'm going to move to China.

00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:42,- Like, really soon.
- Anything else?

00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,Yeah, bathroom door's still broken.
It's very unsettling.

00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,We're not all exhibitionists
like you, pal.

00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:58,- Hi, Nancy.
- Hi, Lily.

00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,Look, don't worry about today.

00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:03,OK?

00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:08,Why don't I ask Lily's mum
if she can come over and stay Saturday?

00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:10,Give me a kiss.

00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:12,Go on.

00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,SAM: I love you, Buttons.

00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:23,- Girls, huh?
- Oh, yeah. Have you g***t kids?

00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,Oh, God, no! Can't stand them!

00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:29,If I did, they'd be up on e-Bay.
"One previous owner, will deliver."

00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:34,My girlfriend always says that.
Sounds funny when she says it.

00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:37,I didn't mean "my girlfriend".

00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:40,I'm not a lesbian.
At all!

00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,Quite the opposite.
Not in a trampy way, just normal.

00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:46,Not normal. It's fine if you're a lesbian.
Not that you are.

00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,- You're not a woman. Are you?
- N-no.

00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:53,Oh, thank goodness. It's not even nine
and I'm already assuming people's genders!

00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:59,Is Nancy OK?

00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:05,We've finally g***t a headstone for her
mum's grave. We're heading there later.

00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:08,Maybe you could keep an eye on her today?

00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,(WHISPERS) Do you want a sleepover?

00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:14,When?

00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,You'd better ask quickly.
Lily's mum's leaving.

00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,Sorry, could you wind your window down?

00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:41,Um... I'm Sam. Nancy was wondering if Lily
might want to come for a sleepover.

00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:44,- Who?
- Nancy... Nancy.

00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:47,Lily's not going for a sleepover
with some strange man I don't know.

00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,No, totally. I'm Nancy's dad.

00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:54,- You're not Nancy's dad.
- What have you heard? No, I ** her dad.

00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:57,I've seen her dad - simple,
gormless looking fella in a football top.

00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:01,- Her Uncle Cormac, he is fairly gormless.
- ZU: Sam!

00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,Dan, no, sorry.

00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,Sam!

00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:11,Jesus, Zu!

00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,Don't get your long balls in twist.

00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,Listen, need big favour, Sam.

00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,G***t to fill in on Atlatic to San Fran.
Three days.

00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,- It's double time for me.
- No, no way.

00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,- I can't.
- I know, I'm sorry.

00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,But you're having to since your brother
is a F***G BUM LOSER!

00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,Ssh.

00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,Mama needs to make money, huh?

00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,(CHILDLIKE) I need money, Sammie.

00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:39,- Zu...
- Sam, look, I don't have anyone.

00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,And I don't need them, f***k them!
But maybe you I need.

00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,A little.

00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:50,I know Zein left you, too.
He lets everyone down when they...