My.Dead.Boyfriend.2016.1080p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H264-FGT Subtitles

00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:14,� [light music]

00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:09,Oh. Hi, Mary.

00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:11,You okay?

00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:14,Rough day, huh?

00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:19,Look, if it... if it helps,
uh, you look really hot.

00:01:20,513 --> 00:01:22,[beep]

00:01:23,516 --> 00:01:25,[beep]

00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,[beep]
[chuckles]

00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,[beep]
[gasps]

00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:43,� [rock music]

00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:55,� Who can turn the world on
with her smile �

00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:59,� Who can take
a nothing day �

00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:04,� And suddenly
make it all seem worthwhile �

00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:06,� Well it's you girl

00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:08,� And you should know it

00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:12,� With each glance and every
little movement you show it �

00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:16,� Love is all around
no need to fake it �

00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:21,� You can have the town
why don't you take it �

00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:26,� You're gonna make it
after all �

00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:34,� How will you
make it on your own �

00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:40,� This world is awfully big

00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:42,� Girl this time

00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,� You are all alone

00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:48,� But it's time
you started living �

00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:52,� It's time you let someone
else do some giving �

00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:56,� Love is all around
no need to fake it �

00:02:56,610 --> 00:03:01,� You can have the town
why don't you take it �

00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:06,� You're gonna make it
after all �

00:03:09,088 --> 00:03:13,� You're gonna
make it af-- �

00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:18,How'd the job search go today?

00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,I only ask you because
I have some wonderful news.

00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:25,I'm gonna be joining you
in that search myself tomorrow.

00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,Hey, how old is
this vermicelli, Primo?

00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:34,You know, you really
should've come with me

00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,to that hot Vinyasa Yoga class
this morning,

00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,because that scary
teacher was back.

00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:41,I ** convinced
that she sat in her car

00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,for 15 minutes
prior to the class,

00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:46,holding a gun in her mouth,
trying to get up the nerve

00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:48,to pull the trigger.
And then I think she thought:

00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:50,F***k it,
I'll wait till after lunch.

00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,And then she chain-smoked
three cigarettes

00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:55,and came in to teach us yoga
in the most monotone,

00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:56,unenthused voice
you can imagine.

00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,I could tell she couldn't wait
for the class to be over,

00:03:59,974 --> 00:04:03,and the mantra in her head was:
"When this is over,

00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:05,I'm getting
a double whiskey sour,

00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,and then I'm gonna taste
that gun again."

00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:09,[sighing]

00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:13,Sweated over a hot microwave
for two and a half minutes.

00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:16,Ah...

00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:20,Ugh.

00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:23,Hmm.

00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:28,That's disgusting.

00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:35,Primo?

00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:45,[indistinct news report]

00:04:48,888 --> 00:04:50,So this was your husband?

00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:53,No, my... I mean,
he was just a boyfriend.

00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:56,Uh, can I, um-

00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:58,Careful,
those things are killers.

00:04:58,399 --> 00:04:59,They're probably
what killed him.

00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:03,[Mary chuckling]
So you lived together?

00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:05,No. I mean, yes.

00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:08,He lived here with me and his
dog, but just for six months.

00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:10,I kinda wanted him
to stick around till New Year's,

00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:12,'cause that's a hard one
to be alone.

00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,Mm-hmm. I hear that.

00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,I mean, he caught me
on the rebound

00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:16,and it never really
went anywhere.

00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,He couldn't get it together.

00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:19,I had bigger expectations,
of course,

00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,but it never really rallied
past the first stage.

00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:26,I liked him, but he was more
of a temp boyfriend.

00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,You probably don't need
to know all this.

00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,No, uh, a temp boyfriend?

00:05:30,264 --> 00:05:32,Go on.
Well...

00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:34,it's like
I was between gigs.

00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:35,Yeah, I've been there.

00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,Right?
And you were at work

00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:38,when the victim died?

00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:40,Yeah, well,
I don't work there anymore.

00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:43,I was fired today
for being "late."

00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:46,Wow.
You are having a bad day.
[knocking]

00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:49,Right?
And, uh, what job was that?

00:05:49,283 --> 00:05:51,I was a temp.
Mm-hmm.

00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:53,[officer] Officer Parker?
Were there any

00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:54,yoga-teacher shootings today?

00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,Uh, not that I'm aware.
Shoot!

00:05:56,990 --> 00:06:01,Oh, hey, Paul.
Dead Caucasian watching TV.

00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:04,Thanks, Parker.
Medical examiner.

00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:08,Officer Parker.

00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:13,Sorry, I just want to be sure

00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:16,this is the dead Caucasian
you're talking about.

00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:19,You know, right here, right
in this general, uh, vicinity?

00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,Take it easy, Paul.
No, you take it easy, Parker!

00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:24,How many times
do I have to tell you,

00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,I do not need you to tell me
where the dead body is

00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:29,when we're in an apartment
the size of my bathroom!

00:06:29,323 --> 00:06:31,Hey!

00:06:33,626 --> 00:06:36,Officer Brady?
Yeah?

00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:39,You want me to get you
a soda, anything?

00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,No, thanks. I'm cool.

00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:43,Huh. Okay.

00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:47,Then get the f***k away
from the dead body!

00:06:56,883 --> 00:06:58,Miss?

00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,Miss...

00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:01,McCrawley, Mary.
McCrawley, Mary.

00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:06,Was the deceased
sick in anyway?

00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:08,Nope.
On medication?

00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,Not that I knew of.
Do you dress him?

00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:13,Not today.
His shirt's on inside out.

00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,Mm. He was probably
trying on a new style.

00:07:15,369 --> 00:07:17,He had a lot of time
on his hands.

00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:20,When was the last time you had
relations with the deceased?

00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:24,He wasn't deceased
the last time we had relations.

00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:28,[woman] Primo,
that's your name?

00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:31,And that's all you do?
You write poetry?

00:07:31,185 --> 00:07:32,Mm-hmm.
That's great.

00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:34,So, what,
do you have last name, Primo?

00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:37,Or is that like a
one-name-poet kinda thing?

00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:40,[whispering]
Schultz?

00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:41,German-Jewish.

00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:44,Mm-mm.
German-German.

00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:46,Mm-hmm.
Jewish-Jewish.

00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:49,Sorry. My mother
would drive her car

00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:50,off the
George Washington Bridge

00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:52,if I brought home a German.

00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:54,Seriously, I'm not kidding.

00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:56,But it was very nice
to meet you.

00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,Mare! Here.

00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,Oh, my God.
What?

00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:02,Greg's here.
Who's Greg?

00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:04,And he brought that little
fuckin' w***e, too.

00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:05,I don't remember a Greg.

00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,Yeah, you do.
Lazy eye, big d***k?

00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:09,Oh, Greg.
That Greg, yeah.

00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:12,Is he looking over this way?
How can you tell?

00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:14,Alright, I have
to go talk to him....