Airplane.2025.2025.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264 (SDH) Subtitles

00:00:44,846 --> 00:00:46,I want to talk to you tonight.

00:01:20,582 --> 00:01:21,Groovy.

00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:23,Did you bring
my chaser, stewardess?

00:01:23,785 --> 00:01:26,Oh, I brought you a chaser.

00:01:26,621 --> 00:01:27,Oh!

00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,Oh, my...

00:01:29,824 --> 00:01:32,Stewardess Gloria,
I had no idea.

00:01:32,694 --> 00:01:34,Oh, wow.

00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:37,It was you.
It was always you.

00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,Has it been that obvious?

00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:40,Well, every time
you've come into the cockpit,

00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:41,you've been n***d.

00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:45,Well, that is because
I want you so bad.

00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:57,What the hell is that?

00:01:57,417 --> 00:01:58,Oh, it's nothing.

00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:00,What do you mean it's nothing?

00:02:00,722 --> 00:02:02,It's the Berlin Wall
of s***x blockers.

00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:05,It's the Great Wall of China
of...

00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:06,But you have the key, Butch.

00:02:06,561 --> 00:02:08,My father gave you the key.

00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:10,Butch... Butch...

00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:12,Oh, what? What? No.

00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:13,Who's Butch?

00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,I'm Barry.

00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:16,-I'm not Butch.
-Huh? What?

00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:17,Who's Butch?

00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:19,Barry? What are you doing here?

00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:21,It's me, the true
love of your life.

00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,No, no, no.
This is an arranged marriage.

00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:26,Oh, I have to leave.
I have to find Butch.

00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:28,What are you,
some kind of square?

00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:31,There's no virgins in 1973.

00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:33,But I ** a virgin.

00:02:33,855 --> 00:02:35,[echoing]
Virgin... Virgin.

00:02:39,861 --> 00:02:41,I heard you talking
in your sleep.

00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:45,Do you like pilots?

00:02:45,867 --> 00:02:47,No.

00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,Why are you
traveling solo today?

00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:53,Oh, no. My girlfriends
and I are flying to D.C.

00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,You see, I'm getting
hitched to this guy.

00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:57,It's kind of a
last moment thing.

00:02:57,612 --> 00:03:00,-Married?
-Mm-hmm.

00:03:00,715 --> 00:03:01,Far out.

00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:17,Good evening and welcome
to DTF Airlines Flight 420.

00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:19,We will begin boarding
our red-eye

00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:21,to Washington D.C. momentarily.

00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:24,Get ready and buckle up.

00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:26,-Gloria!
-Oh!

00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,How's college life
without me?

00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:30,Boring, of course.

00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:32,Of course.

00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:36,Chest out stomach in.
Here comes Suzy Kellerman!

00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:38,Wait, are you working
this flight?

00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:39,Yes.

00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:41,Economy with Dolores De Hado,

00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:42,and you're late,
Miss Kellerman.

00:03:42,924 --> 00:03:44,Really? Dolores?

00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:46,-Buzzkill?
-She'll be fine.

00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,The clock is ticking.

00:03:48,830 --> 00:03:50,I'm sorry, Ms. Rickenbottem.

00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,I just need to get changed
real quick, ladies.

00:03:52,934 --> 00:03:54,You mean this isn't
your stewardess uniform?

00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:56,I'm timing you.

00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:57,This plane will
leave without you.

00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:59,They wouldn't dare.

00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:00,Let's go.

00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:11,Proper bachelorette parties
call for proper attire.

00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:13,Ooh!

00:04:13,353 --> 00:04:15,I don't know.
This looks a little risqué.

00:04:15,790 --> 00:04:17,I know, isn't it grand?

00:04:18,793 --> 00:04:20,Sweetness is here!

00:04:20,094 --> 00:04:21,[squealing]

00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:26,Oh, and a thousand blessings
for your wonderful marriage!

00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:28,Oh, Candy, don't tell me
you're still

00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:29,planning on becoming a nun.

00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:30,Of course I **.

00:04:30,872 --> 00:04:32,I'm going straight
to the Vatican

00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,after we send her
off down the aisle

00:04:34,909 --> 00:04:37,because God
is my perfect husband.

00:04:38,012 --> 00:04:41,He never cheats
and always forgives me

00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:42,if I ask him real nice.

00:04:42,817 --> 00:04:44,Here, put this on.

00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:46,Ah!

00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:49,Look, this...

00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:51,this is my deal with God.

00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:54,This is my last hurrah.

00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:57,And then I'm just going to
give it up to the Lord Almighty.

00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:59,So, anything goes?

00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:00,Just on this plane.

00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:02,Ah! It's going to be a gas!

00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:05,Come on.
Don't be such a square, Gloria.

00:05:05,673 --> 00:05:07,Even the Lord is
giving her a pass.

00:05:07,909 --> 00:05:09,Praise Jesus.

00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:10,Fine.
I'm in like Flynn.

00:05:10,912 --> 00:05:12,Yay!

00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:15,Are you not changing too?

00:05:15,850 --> 00:05:19,Oh, yes.
I'm working on your flight.

00:05:19,821 --> 00:05:21,I've g***t to quit this job.

00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:24,I ** so tired of being an
actress who isn't actressing.

00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:25,A model who isn't modeling.

00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,Just as long as you give
us the liquor cart

00:05:28,062 --> 00:05:29,so we can keep liquor-ing.

00:05:29,864 --> 00:05:33,Of course, because
Gloria's getting married!

00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:34,[squealing]

00:05:36,871 --> 00:05:38,Oh, girls! Thank you.

00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,I'm so happy.

00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,This is a party,
not a shrink session.

00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:47,Oh, I have just the thing

00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:50,to make you... wait for it.

00:05:50,952 --> 00:05:53,Forget all your worry.

00:05:53,721 --> 00:05:55,Candy, how'd you get
that in there?

00:05:55,089 --> 00:05:56,They'll put you in jail.

00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:59,No, God will protect us.

00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:00,And Suzy helped.

00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:02,I gave Phil at
security a bag.

00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:04,Candy, I never pictured
you as a druggie.

00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:05,I'm not.

00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:11,But the plane is my hall pass
for the next five hours.

00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:13,Now it's a party!

00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:17,Before we send our beautiful
Gloria off down the aisle,

00:06:17,912 --> 00:06:22,we've g***t to make
sure she is drunk,

00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:24,drugged, and plugged.

00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:26,before we land the plane.

00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:29,I can't!
I'm a virgin.

00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:32,But wait, you and Barry
were together for years.

00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:35,You never...

00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:37,I just... I couldn't.
There's so much pressure.

00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:40,What if I do something wrong?

00:06:40,034 --> 00:06:41,Honey, you could do
it so wrong

00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,that his Johnson would break
off in your vagina,

00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:45,and he would still thank you.

00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,That's reassuring.

00:06:47,041 --> 00:06:48,Then don't.

00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,Don't what? Have s***x
with my husband? Ever?

00:06:51,212 --> 00:06:54,No, don't lose
your virginity to him.

00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:55,Lose it with
somebody else first.

00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,Like a practice s***x.

00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:58,Yeah.

00:06:58,886 --> 00:07:00,-On the plane!
-Yeah!

00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:04,But I don't think the airline
offers these kinds of services.

00:07:04,225 --> 00:07:05,Sure they do.

00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:08,Haven't you ever heard
of the Mile High Club?

00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:11,Is it like Girl Scouts
but for doing it?

00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,Yeah!

00:07:13,034 --> 00:07:15,You just find some
Joe Schmoe on Aisle 6B and...

00:07:15,703 --> 00:07:17,Do it right there?

00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:21,No, we're not animals,
you do it in the bathroom!

00:07:21,075 --> 00:07:22,Ew, the bathroom!

00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:25,I once had a friend who did
it in the luggage rack once.

00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:33,I thought he was so weird.

00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:36,A friend?

00:07:36,057 --> 00:07:37,I don't know.

00:07:37,992 --> 00:07:39,You act like it's life-changing.

00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,It's really not.
It's whatever.

00:07:41,696 --> 00:07:45,If it's whatever, then
you're just doing it all wrong.

00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:48,It really could be heavenly.

00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,[giggling]

00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:51,It isn't.

00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:54,Well, I hope that you have
your...