Newhart s02e05 The Girl from Manhattan Subtitles

00:01:07,419 --> 00:01:11,Why are you being so stubborn? I'm not
being stubborn. I'm just saying no.

00:01:12,460 --> 00:01:15,Why won't anybody in this inn ever do a
favor for me?

00:01:15,740 --> 00:01:18,What are you guys talking? I want to
borrow George's truck and he won't let

00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,I won't let you because you're a
terrible driver.

00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:23,You don't know that. You've never even
ridden with me.

00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:26,Why do you need George's truck? I
wrecked my car.

00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,You're not getting my truck and that's
fine.

00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:32,Fine. Then our friendship is over.

00:01:32,940 --> 00:01:33,D***k, give me your car.

00:01:34,330 --> 00:01:37,I can't. Joanna's at a community theater
meeting. I promised I'd pick her up.

00:01:37,610 --> 00:01:39,Why do you need a car tonight anyway?

00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:42,Because I have a date and I'd rather not
pick her up on a bicycle.

00:01:43,330 --> 00:01:47,Well, if nobody needs me to do anything,
I'm going to drive into town and try

00:01:47,050 --> 00:01:48,out my new sweater.

00:01:50,130 --> 00:01:52,How do you try out a new sweater?

00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:56,Well, you walk down the street and see
if anybody asks you out.

00:01:57,290 --> 00:01:58,Can I give you a lift?

00:01:59,170 --> 00:02:00,Sure, thanks.

00:02:03,370 --> 00:02:04,Mind if we use your car?

00:02:07,790 --> 00:02:08,Oh, I better get going.

00:02:08,990 --> 00:02:13,So Joanna's going to be in a play, huh?
I guess. You know, I was in a play once.

00:02:13,330 --> 00:02:15,Oh, really? Yeah, it was a Christmas
pageant.

00:02:15,790 --> 00:02:16,I played a shepherd.

00:02:18,650 --> 00:02:19,Sounds like a good part.

00:02:20,190 --> 00:02:21,Shepherd Bill.

00:02:25,930 --> 00:02:30,Okay, good idea.

00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:35,Okay, now, the next order of business is
refreshments for the intermission.

00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:40,Chester, can we count on Dora making her
hot cider again this year? Oh, yes,

00:02:40,590 --> 00:02:43,she's already laying in a supply of
cinnamon sticks.

00:02:43,410 --> 00:02:44,What about your brownies, Shirley?

00:02:45,010 --> 00:02:47,They'll be here. If I don't eat them all
first.

00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:50,I'll take care of the programs.

00:02:51,510 --> 00:02:52,Good, then we're all set there.

00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:54,What about tickets?

00:02:55,710 --> 00:02:57,Do you like to handle that this year,
Joanna?

00:02:57,850 --> 00:03:01,No. Well, I mean, I will, but that's not
why I was raising my hand.

00:03:01,650 --> 00:03:02,I had a question.

00:03:02,770 --> 00:03:03,Oh, what's that?

00:03:03,990 --> 00:03:07,Well, we've been sitting here for over
an hour talking about publicity and

00:03:07,190 --> 00:03:10,refreshments and all that, but I haven't
heard anyone mention what play we're

00:03:10,830 --> 00:03:11,going to do.

00:03:11,370 --> 00:03:13,Oh, we're going to do the same play we
always do.

00:03:14,070 --> 00:03:15,Oh, what play is that?

00:03:16,090 --> 00:03:17,My Fair Lady.

00:03:18,410 --> 00:03:21,You do My Fair Lady every year? Since
1956.

00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:25,I'm Henry Higgins.

00:03:25,650 --> 00:03:26,I'm Colonel Pickering.

00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:30,And we were hoping that this year you'd
be Eliza. Me?

00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,Eliza Doolittle?

00:03:32,620 --> 00:03:33,But that's the lead.

00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:38,Clara Mosby usually does Eliza, but she
can't get around much anymore.

00:03:40,940 --> 00:03:42,Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered.

00:03:43,420 --> 00:03:45,The trouble is, I don't really sing.

00:03:45,740 --> 00:03:47,Don't worry about that. We don't do the
songs.

00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:52,You do My Fair Lady without the music?

00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:54,Well, wait till you see it. It really
zips along.

00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:59,What we do is Pygmalion. It's just that
they prefer to call it My Fair Lady

00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:00,Without the Songs.

00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:02,Uh -huh.

00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:08,Uh, look, I... I don't mean to toy with
tradition, but have you ever considered

00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:09,doing another play?

00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:10,Another play?

00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,Do you think anybody'd come?

00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,I'm sure they would.

00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:19,It's just that everybody knows My Fair
Lady Without the Songs. They're used to

00:04:19,940 --> 00:04:23,it. Towards the end of the play, the
whole audience usually says the lines

00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:24,along with it.

00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,I can't think of another play they'd
enjoy as much.

00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,Say, what if D***k wrote us a play?

00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:34,What? Well, now, wait a minute. That
could be a thought.

00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:35,Sure.

00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:40,Everybody in town knows D***k. Now, wait
a minute. Can you imagine the excitement

00:04:40,020 --> 00:04:43,if we were doing a play by our own D***k
Loudon? Hey, hey, hey, hey.

00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:46,D***k doesn't write plays. He writes
books.

00:04:47,290 --> 00:04:50,Oh, a play would be a lot easier to
write than a book. It's lots less words.

00:04:51,790 --> 00:04:52,That's true.

00:04:52,850 --> 00:04:55,Well, I could ask him, but I really
wouldn't count on anything.

00:04:55,930 --> 00:04:56,That's the spirit.

00:04:57,830 --> 00:05:01,Myrna, you better get busy changing the
programs. It's going to be a play by

00:05:01,230 --> 00:05:05,D***k Loudon this year. I didn't say
that. I said I'd try.

00:05:06,130 --> 00:05:08,Well, how's he going to turn you down,
Joanna?

00:05:08,810 --> 00:05:10,Well, I don't know.

00:05:25,710 --> 00:05:26,Ask a d***k.

00:05:26,590 --> 00:05:27,What's that?

00:05:27,730 --> 00:05:31,D***k, could I talk to you in private for
a second?

00:05:34,730 --> 00:05:38,Joanna, if this has anything to do with
community theater, I don't want to get

00:05:38,210 --> 00:05:39,involved. They want you to write a play.

00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:41,That's involved.

00:05:42,290 --> 00:05:45,I wouldn't be asking if it wasn't for
the fact that I happen to know you

00:05:45,590 --> 00:05:46,have a play.

00:05:46,470 --> 00:05:48,Are you talking about the girl from
Manhattan?

00:05:48,410 --> 00:05:52,Yes. I wrote that 16 years ago. It's
corny. I think it's wonderful.

00:05:53,230 --> 00:05:55,Well, of course, you think it's
wonderful. I wrote it for you. The main

00:05:55,430 --> 00:05:56,character's name is Joanna.

00:05:56,630 --> 00:05:58,That has nothing to do with it.

00:05:58,510 --> 00:06:00,Besides, it's cute and funny.

00:06:00,510 --> 00:06:03,And like you said, you did write it for
me, so I don't see why I shouldn't be

00:06:03,890 --> 00:06:04,able to give it to them.

00:06:05,630 --> 00:06:06,Look at their faces.

00:06:10,590 --> 00:06:13,It would mean so much to them.

00:06:16,010 --> 00:06:17,They do love me.

00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:20,Please, honey.

00:06:20,930 --> 00:06:22,All right, I don't like it, but...

00:06:23,130 --> 00:06:24,You can have it. On one condition.
What's that?

00:06:25,150 --> 00:06:28,That I don't have to rewrite it, I don't
have to direct it, and I don't even

00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:29,have to come to see it.

00:06:37,090 --> 00:06:38,Excuse me.

00:06:39,870 --> 00:06:42,Excuse me.

00:06:42,450 --> 00:06:43,Okay, quiet, everybody.

00:06:45,390 --> 00:06:46,Director's trying to speak.

00:06:52,460 --> 00:06:53,wants to audition now.

00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:54,I will.

00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,All right, Myrna, what are you going to
do for us?

00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,I'm going to do the same thing I did in
My Fair Lady without the songs.

00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:03,There will now be a ten -minute
intermission. Thank you.

00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,Thank you. That's a very important part
of any play.

00:07:12,980 --> 00:07:14,Okay, who's next?

00:07:16,340 --> 00:07:17,George,

00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:18,you want to audition?

00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,No, I wanted to ask if I could make the
sets.

00:07:22,060 --> 00:07:23,Anyone else want to make the set?

00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:26,It's yours.

00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:31,Okay, next.

00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,Stephanie, I didn't know you were going
to audition.

00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:37,Oh, well, I'm not really.

00:07:38,060 --> 00:07:43,I just realized that I've probably seen
a lot more real theater than most people

00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:47,here. I mean, I've seen My Fair Lady
with the songs.

00:07:49,060 --> 00:07:52,I've seen... West Side Story. I've seen
Camelot.

00:07:52,390 --> 00:07:55,That I saw in Switzerland, by the way,
with subtitles.

00:07:56,290 --> 00:07:59,So I've really seen theater all over the
world.

00:08:00,470 --> 00:08:01,Anyway, I'm here if you need me.

00:08:06,750 --> 00:08:08,Thank you. I feel better already.

00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,Okay, who's next?

00:08:11,810 --> 00:08:13,650...