Deadpool.And.Wolverine.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.NET Subtitles

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00:00:32,940 --> 00:00:40,Oh, sorry, I'm excited to be here.
It's been a while.

00:00:40,701 --> 00:00:44,You know, for a long time, I wasn't
sure I'd ever be back. Disney bought

00:00:44,510 --> 00:00:48,Fox, there was a whole boring
rights issue, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah.

00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,But then, it turned out they
wanted me. The one guy who

00:00:51,539 --> 00:00:55,shouldn't even have his own
movie. Much less a franchise.

00:00:57,900 --> 00:01:01,You are so stupid. Look, we know
the title of this thing, so I know what

00:01:01,740 --> 00:01:05,you're wondering. How are we gonna do
this without dishonoring Logan's memory?

00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:12,And I'll tell you how.
Or not. I'm gonna let you

00:01:12,249 --> 00:01:16,in on a little secret.
Wolverine is not dead.

00:01:16,740 --> 00:01:19,Sure, it made for a perfect
ending to a very sad story,

00:01:19,806 --> 00:01:22,but that's not how regenerative
healing factors work.

00:01:23,270 --> 00:01:26,You think I want to be out
here in beautiful downtown North

00:01:26,235 --> 00:01:29,Dakota, digging up the one and
only Wolverine? No, thank you.

00:01:30,045 --> 00:01:32,But the fate of my
entire world is at stake.

00:01:32,638 --> 00:01:35,You may not be living his
best life, but he sure as hell ain't.

00:01:36,020 --> 00:01:37,Dead.

00:01:42,710 --> 00:01:43,Bingo.

00:01:45,010 --> 00:01:46,Yahtzee.

00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:55,Dammit!

00:01:57,550 --> 00:01:59,Son of a bitch!

00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:09,Motherfucker! My
goodness! That was weird.

00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:14,I'm much calmer now.

00:02:16,140 --> 00:02:21,Look, I'm not a man of science,
but you seem incredibly passed away.

00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:27,But it's good to see
you. I gotta be honest,

00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,I've always wanted
to ride with you, Logan.

00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,You and me getting into a
Deadpool, and Wolverine just

00:02:33,915 --> 00:02:37,f***g s***t up. Can you imagine
the fun? The chaos? The residuals.

00:02:38,540 --> 00:02:39,
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:41,Did I, Mike?

00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:45,She has nothing that'll bring me back to
life faster than a big bag of mammal cash.

00:02:47,970 --> 00:02:48,Me too, Hugh.

00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:51,No. No, no, no.

00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:58,Ugh, he had to get all
noble and die for real.

00:02:59,950 --> 00:03:01,God dammit! I can really
use your help right now.

00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,I'm warning you! I'm not alone!

00:03:17,140 --> 00:03:21,Wade Winston Wilson. You are under
arrest by the time variance authority.

00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:24,Too many crimes against you. Come out.

00:03:26,660 --> 00:03:28,Death by day, player.

00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:32,Last chance. Throw out your
weapons and come out peacefully.

00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,I'm not gonna give you my weapons!

00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:37,But I promise not to use them.

00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:43,There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 if I'm watching Gossip Girl.

00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:44,Here we go.

00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,Maximum effort.

00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:56,Okay, Peanut.
I guess we'll get that team up after.

00:05:53,100 --> 00:06:01,Now let's find out who's on the bus.

00:06:39,410 --> 00:06:40,So, leaving that room right now.

00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,To be clear, I'm not proud of any of this.

00:06:46,790 --> 00:06:50,The warden violence, the quiff
of necrophilia, it isn't who I **.

00:06:50,591 --> 00:06:53,It isn't who I want to be.
Who I want to be? Well,

00:06:53,442 --> 00:06:56,to help you understand
that. I gotta take you back.

00:06:56,710 --> 00:07:01,A little joy ride I took through space
and time. To the day it changed everything.

00:07:14,090 --> 00:07:17,I can't believe I'm finally
here. I've waited for

00:07:17,827 --> 00:07:21,this moment for so long.
Thank you sir for seeing me.

00:07:23,050 --> 00:07:28,I firmly believe that my services could
be of great use to your organization.

00:07:29,430 --> 00:07:32,Now I know I was caught
masturbating in the lobby of Stark Tower.

00:07:32,109 --> 00:07:34,I'm sure you did that. I'm sorry,
what was that? No, I'm sorry.

00:07:34,710 --> 00:07:37,That's when you
get those toy pulp

00:07:37,530 --> 00:07:40,hands, right? And then you
just look down and you just.

00:07:40,351 --> 00:07:43,.. you brace yourself and
you ravage the midsection.

00:07:43,327 --> 00:07:47,I get it. Okay, okay.
The picture's painted.

00:07:48,460 --> 00:07:52,You get the gist. What
exactly brings you here

00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:56,today? Well, um,
wow, okay. Uh, I care.

00:07:57,590 --> 00:08:01,I know I'm turning everything
into a joke, but I care.

00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:04,I want to use that feeling
for something important.

00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:11,I want to matter to
show my girl that I matter.

00:08:13,820 --> 00:08:16,And, um, you know, I
feel like I'm wasting the

00:08:16,306 --> 00:08:18,good stuff here. Is
the man not going to be

00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:21,joining us? The man?
Yeah. I should say this.

00:08:21,561 --> 00:08:24,As far as you're concerned
right now, I'm the man.

00:08:24,431 --> 00:08:27,The man is me. I ** the
man in this circumstance.

00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:30,And if you say he doesn't
do this kind of thing anymore.

00:08:30,975 --> 00:08:35,Cameos? Meetings.
Entry-level meetings.

00:08:35,325 --> 00:08:38,Entry-level. Are you
the chauffeur? I...

00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:41,Common misconception.
I did begin my career as

00:08:41,591 --> 00:08:44,Mr. Stark's drive-in. I quickly
pivoted to the chauffeur.

00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:48,And why I **
vetting your resume.

00:08:48,216 --> 00:08:52,You seem to have left
out whether or not you had

00:08:52,515 --> 00:08:56,any experience as a member of a team. Could
you maybe add a little bit of perspective?

00:08:56,930 --> 00:08:59,No, yes, of course.
I was special forces.

00:08:59,218 --> 00:09:01,But I was mainly, I was
team leader, founder,

00:09:02,270 --> 00:09:04,really, of X-Force. Sadly,
they all perished in action.

00:09:04,263 --> 00:09:06,Oh, how exactly did that happen?

00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,Well, the police say
gravity, but if just between

00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:11,us, they didn't test
well in the focus group.

00:09:12,310 --> 00:09:14,Particularly cable. Oh, I
can see this isn't going well.

00:09:14,718 --> 00:09:17,Please stop
writing. Look, I'm just

00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:21,I want to be an Avenger.
I want to be an Avenger.

00:09:24,270 --> 00:09:26,Why do you want to be
an Avenger? To look around

00:09:26,595 --> 00:09:28,you. I mean, they're
the best of the best.

00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:35,And what they do matters. I need to be an
Avenger. A certain girl is kind of had a mistake.

00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:39,And if I don't, you know, turn things
around and do something with my gifts,

00:09:40,230 --> 00:09:43,I don't think it's going to really work
out for me. And I wouldn't blame her.

00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:47,The Avengers are a
very unique group of

00:09:47,175 --> 00:09:50,superheroes that stand
for something more than just

00:09:50,871 --> 00:09:55,fighting and wearing costumes. I mean,
people look up to us. Kids look up to us.

00:09:56,290 --> 00:09:59,I'm sorry. Us?
I wasn't aware that you were an Avenger.

00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:03,Avengers adjacent, technically. What's your
superpower? Is it parallel parking? I was so sorry.

00:10:04,010 --> 00:10:08,That was cruel. I lash out when
I'm nervous. It won't happen again.

00:10:08,930 --> 00:10:13,Let's cut to the chase, please. You just
said moments ago that you wanted to be an

00:10:13,011 --> 00:10:16,Avenger because you
need it. Yes, sir, I do.

00:10:16,303 --> 00:10:19,But the Avengers don't do
the job because they need it.

00:10:19,371 --> 00:10:22,They do the job because
people need them.

00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:24,Do you see the
distinction? Yes, sir.

00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:30,Please, Mr. Hogan,
I don't want to

00:10:30,112 --> 00:10:32,spend the rest of my life like
an annoying one-trick pony.

00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:43,Oh my God. You're standing.
Yeah, now's the time that we stand.

00:10:43,380 --> 00:10:45,D***n it. Now, the
problem might be that you're

00:10:45,734 --> 00:10:48,reaching a little too
high. Name for the middle

00:10:48,141 --> 00:10:49,and you'll never miss. Right?
I think you g***t a good one.

00:10:49,943 --> 00:10:51,I believe what you're saying.

00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,677...