The.Goldbergs.2013.S10E16.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng] Subtitles
📝 Subtitle Preview
00:00:01,829 --> 00:00:03,Back in the '80s,
00:00:03,037 --> 00:00:05,my Pop-Pop wasn't exactly
a ray of sunshine.
00:00:05,729 --> 00:00:08,I'll call a moron a moron
when he's a moron.
00:00:08,353 --> 00:00:11,And when he lived with us after
his place had a small fire,
00:00:11,183 --> 00:00:13,his grouchy demeanor
g***t even worse.
00:00:13,634 --> 00:00:15,Hey, boys,
turn down the TV.
00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:17,I can't hear
the screechy neighbor gal
00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:18,shuffling
the stupid tiles.
00:00:18,984 --> 00:00:20,Ben, shame on you.
00:00:20,192 --> 00:00:22,I will not allow you to insult
my Mahjong tiles.
00:00:22,781 --> 00:00:24,Thanks, Bev.
00:00:24,196 --> 00:00:25,What are you watching anyway
that's so important?
00:00:25,956 --> 00:00:27,Little House
on the Prairie.
00:00:27,337 --> 00:00:28,It's just like the video game
Oregon Trail,
00:00:28,856 --> 00:00:30,but with Michael Landon.
00:00:30,202 --> 00:00:32,I would've dominated
in olden times.
00:00:32,273 --> 00:00:34,I'd tame a buffalo
and make fire from dirt.
00:00:34,827 --> 00:00:37,Please, you'd be lucky
if mountain fever took you.
00:00:37,761 --> 00:00:40,- Most likely, you'd be kicked
in the head by your own horse.
- Nah.
00:00:40,316 --> 00:00:43,I'd befriend a coyote and ride
it to the nearest gold mine.
00:00:43,181 --> 00:00:45,And Mahjong!
Ha-ha.
00:00:45,597 --> 00:00:48,In your face,
family and beloved friend.
00:00:48,496 --> 00:00:50,I ** a gorgeous
and humble winner.
00:00:50,740 --> 00:00:52,Impossible.
You had to be cheating.
00:00:52,811 --> 00:00:54,There's
no other explanation.
00:00:54,399 --> 00:00:55,Why would you say
such a thing?
00:00:55,883 --> 00:00:57,'Cause I was cheating.
00:01:00,543 --> 00:01:03,Whoa. Domino's is hiring
classier drivers.
00:01:03,580 --> 00:01:06,Oh, I have something
much better
to deliver than a pizza.
00:01:06,238 --> 00:01:08,- Is Benjamin Goldberg here?
- Who's asking?
00:01:08,999 --> 00:01:10,I'm from
Dopplin Insurance.
00:01:10,691 --> 00:01:13,I'm happy to tell you
your apartment
has been fully repaired.
00:01:13,521 --> 00:01:15,And I have a check to cover
your moving costs.
00:01:15,592 --> 00:01:17,What kind of scam
you running here, fella?
00:01:17,732 --> 00:01:19,No scam.
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:20,I should say most people
are typically happy
00:01:20,528 --> 00:01:21,when I show up
with this news.
00:01:21,805 --> 00:01:24,Don't tell me how to feel,
sport coat.
00:01:24,049 --> 00:01:26,- Oh.
- Pop-Pop,
this is great--
00:01:26,672 --> 00:01:28,I mean, not being hateful
to a stranger--
00:01:28,260 --> 00:01:30,but now you can finally
move out of our basement.
00:01:30,435 --> 00:01:32,Yes!
We can use the hot tub again.
00:01:32,540 --> 00:01:34,And now
I can play Mario Bros.
00:01:34,059 --> 00:01:37,without a stream
of derogatory comments
about Italian plumbers.
00:01:37,649 --> 00:01:40,"Gelato lover"
isn't the slam you think it is.
00:01:40,652 --> 00:01:42,Italian ice cream
in hot water.
00:01:42,723 --> 00:01:44,Ginzy, make that
happen for me--
00:01:44,311 --> 00:01:45,I'm gonna go get my trunks.
00:01:45,450 --> 00:01:46,Wait. What?
00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:50,Well, Bar in a bathing suit--
that's my cue.
00:01:50,213 --> 00:01:51,Pbht.
00:01:51,283 --> 00:01:53,Aw, we're gonna
miss you, Ben.
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:56,But I'm not gonna miss having
my washing machine held hostage
00:01:56,219 --> 00:01:57,by your Velcro shoes.
00:01:57,738 --> 00:02:00,Best of all, now I can get
my morning paper
00:02:00,189 --> 00:02:03,without hearing,
"Hey, Robe Lady,
I took your sports page."
00:02:03,778 --> 00:02:05,It's a happy day
for everybody.
00:02:05,297 --> 00:02:08,Couldn't find a bathing suit,
so I'm dippin' in the buff.
00:02:08,369 --> 00:02:09,Hot tub, here I come.
00:02:09,612 --> 00:02:11,Oh, no, my robe!
00:02:11,683 --> 00:02:13,♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪
00:02:13,443 --> 00:02:16,♪ But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say ♪
00:02:19,518 --> 00:02:21,♪ I don't know the future ♪
00:02:21,071 --> 00:02:24,♪ But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪
00:02:24,109 --> 00:02:26,It was March 8,
1980-something.
00:02:26,007 --> 00:02:28,Me and my girlfriend, Carmen,
were getting serious,
00:02:28,596 --> 00:02:30,which meant the time
had come to meet my family.
00:02:30,495 --> 00:02:33,- I ** so nervous.
- Don't be.
00:02:33,049 --> 00:02:35,Just follow my carefully
crafted instructions,
00:02:35,327 --> 00:02:40,and they'll love you
as much as I...l-like you.
00:02:40,470 --> 00:02:43,With affection, I'm careful
not to prematurely label.
00:02:43,542 --> 00:02:47,Do you really think
that I need these notecards?
00:02:47,132 --> 00:02:48,I'm pretty good
with new people.
00:02:48,513 --> 00:02:50,For sure,
but they're not.
00:02:50,825 --> 00:02:53,And thanks to my tutoring
and her natural charm,
00:02:53,794 --> 00:02:55,I was hoping she'd be a hit.
00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:57,First up was Barry.
00:02:57,798 --> 00:03:02,Um, I love how jacked and
Chuck Norris-like your body is.
00:03:02,354 --> 00:03:05,What a wonderful
and accurate hello.
00:03:05,392 --> 00:03:07,Adam, don't let this one
get away.
00:03:07,497 --> 00:03:10,After that success, she took
a swing at my grouchy grandpa.
00:03:10,535 --> 00:03:13,Mr. Goldberg, this bag of
russet potatoes is for you.
00:03:13,538 --> 00:03:14,The whole gunnysack?
00:03:14,677 --> 00:03:16,Eh, look at you.
00:03:16,057 --> 00:03:17,Not a complete
waste of space.
00:03:17,335 --> 00:03:20,Whoa.
Pop-Pop's highest compliment.
00:03:20,579 --> 00:03:24,Then came the final gauntlet,
my famously hard-to-please mom.
00:03:24,169 --> 00:03:25,I hope you like it.
00:03:25,722 --> 00:03:28,I only used 14 cheeses
and every meat available
at the butcher.
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,Hmm.
00:03:32,350 --> 00:03:35,I love how impossibly full
I feel after just one b***e!
00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:37,- Mm!
- Success.
00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:40,Carmen had done what few before
her had dared to even try.
00:03:40,047 --> 00:03:42,See?
They all adore you.
00:03:42,152 --> 00:03:43,And now the final part
of my plan--
00:03:43,361 --> 00:03:45,we leave before they change
their crazy, fickle minds.
00:03:45,915 --> 00:03:47,But, wait, what about
your sister?
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,You don't have to worry
about her.
00:03:48,849 --> 00:03:50,Trust me, let's go now
and leave
the rest of these lunatics
00:03:50,816 --> 00:03:51,wanting more.
00:03:51,990 --> 00:03:54,Okey-dokey, I guess.
00:03:56,305 --> 00:04:00,Guess who has two thumbs
and ate
all of her strained peas?
00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:01,This gal!
00:04:01,551 --> 00:04:04,That is adorable.
You must be Erica.
00:04:04,658 --> 00:04:06,I'm Carmen.
00:04:06,867 --> 00:04:08,Oh.
00:04:08,144 --> 00:04:09,Hello.
00:04:11,112 --> 00:04:12,Um, I was
just heading out,
00:04:12,528 --> 00:04:15,but I wanted to say
how super impressed I **
00:04:15,531 --> 00:04:17,by your ability
to balance motherhood
00:04:17,429 --> 00:04:19,and applying
to law school.
00:04:19,431 --> 00:04:21,Right back 'atcha.
00:04:21,882 --> 00:04:23,That doesn't apply to me.
00:04:23,953 --> 00:04:26,I-- T-Thank you.
00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:28,Your skin is super dewy.
00:04:29,579 --> 00:04:30,I'm gonna go.
00:04:33,134 --> 00:04:35,It turned out not everyone
was a Carmen fan.
00:04:35,896 --> 00:04:37,What the hell, lady?
00:04:37,622 --> 00:04:40,What's with
the hateful reaction
to meeting the woman I...
00:04:40,625 --> 00:04:42,have
intense affection for?
00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:44,Oh, I've met Carmen before.
00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:45,I've met her but good.
00:04:47,563 --> 00:04:49,I was 8 years old.
00:04:49,737 --> 00:04:51,And we were auditioning
for the role of Annie
00:04:51,498 --> 00:04:53,in the Jenkintown Children's
Theater production
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,of the beloved musical.
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,And you shared a fun
and healthy love of the stage
without issue?
00:04:58,159 --> 00:05:00,She stole my part!
00:05:00,472 --> 00:05:02,I was
a shoo-in for Annie.
00:05:02,509 --> 00:05:06,No one could sing, dance,
or violently scrub a floor
like me.
00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:07,You do carry the anger
of a child
00:05:07,962 --> 00:05:09,whose parents
have abandoned her.
133...
00:00:03,037 --> 00:00:05,my Pop-Pop wasn't exactly
a ray of sunshine.
00:00:05,729 --> 00:00:08,I'll call a moron a moron
when he's a moron.
00:00:08,353 --> 00:00:11,And when he lived with us after
his place had a small fire,
00:00:11,183 --> 00:00:13,his grouchy demeanor
g***t even worse.
00:00:13,634 --> 00:00:15,Hey, boys,
turn down the TV.
00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:17,I can't hear
the screechy neighbor gal
00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:18,shuffling
the stupid tiles.
00:00:18,984 --> 00:00:20,Ben, shame on you.
00:00:20,192 --> 00:00:22,I will not allow you to insult
my Mahjong tiles.
00:00:22,781 --> 00:00:24,Thanks, Bev.
00:00:24,196 --> 00:00:25,What are you watching anyway
that's so important?
00:00:25,956 --> 00:00:27,Little House
on the Prairie.
00:00:27,337 --> 00:00:28,It's just like the video game
Oregon Trail,
00:00:28,856 --> 00:00:30,but with Michael Landon.
00:00:30,202 --> 00:00:32,I would've dominated
in olden times.
00:00:32,273 --> 00:00:34,I'd tame a buffalo
and make fire from dirt.
00:00:34,827 --> 00:00:37,Please, you'd be lucky
if mountain fever took you.
00:00:37,761 --> 00:00:40,- Most likely, you'd be kicked
in the head by your own horse.
- Nah.
00:00:40,316 --> 00:00:43,I'd befriend a coyote and ride
it to the nearest gold mine.
00:00:43,181 --> 00:00:45,And Mahjong!
Ha-ha.
00:00:45,597 --> 00:00:48,In your face,
family and beloved friend.
00:00:48,496 --> 00:00:50,I ** a gorgeous
and humble winner.
00:00:50,740 --> 00:00:52,Impossible.
You had to be cheating.
00:00:52,811 --> 00:00:54,There's
no other explanation.
00:00:54,399 --> 00:00:55,Why would you say
such a thing?
00:00:55,883 --> 00:00:57,'Cause I was cheating.
00:01:00,543 --> 00:01:03,Whoa. Domino's is hiring
classier drivers.
00:01:03,580 --> 00:01:06,Oh, I have something
much better
to deliver than a pizza.
00:01:06,238 --> 00:01:08,- Is Benjamin Goldberg here?
- Who's asking?
00:01:08,999 --> 00:01:10,I'm from
Dopplin Insurance.
00:01:10,691 --> 00:01:13,I'm happy to tell you
your apartment
has been fully repaired.
00:01:13,521 --> 00:01:15,And I have a check to cover
your moving costs.
00:01:15,592 --> 00:01:17,What kind of scam
you running here, fella?
00:01:17,732 --> 00:01:19,No scam.
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:20,I should say most people
are typically happy
00:01:20,528 --> 00:01:21,when I show up
with this news.
00:01:21,805 --> 00:01:24,Don't tell me how to feel,
sport coat.
00:01:24,049 --> 00:01:26,- Oh.
- Pop-Pop,
this is great--
00:01:26,672 --> 00:01:28,I mean, not being hateful
to a stranger--
00:01:28,260 --> 00:01:30,but now you can finally
move out of our basement.
00:01:30,435 --> 00:01:32,Yes!
We can use the hot tub again.
00:01:32,540 --> 00:01:34,And now
I can play Mario Bros.
00:01:34,059 --> 00:01:37,without a stream
of derogatory comments
about Italian plumbers.
00:01:37,649 --> 00:01:40,"Gelato lover"
isn't the slam you think it is.
00:01:40,652 --> 00:01:42,Italian ice cream
in hot water.
00:01:42,723 --> 00:01:44,Ginzy, make that
happen for me--
00:01:44,311 --> 00:01:45,I'm gonna go get my trunks.
00:01:45,450 --> 00:01:46,Wait. What?
00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:50,Well, Bar in a bathing suit--
that's my cue.
00:01:50,213 --> 00:01:51,Pbht.
00:01:51,283 --> 00:01:53,Aw, we're gonna
miss you, Ben.
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:56,But I'm not gonna miss having
my washing machine held hostage
00:01:56,219 --> 00:01:57,by your Velcro shoes.
00:01:57,738 --> 00:02:00,Best of all, now I can get
my morning paper
00:02:00,189 --> 00:02:03,without hearing,
"Hey, Robe Lady,
I took your sports page."
00:02:03,778 --> 00:02:05,It's a happy day
for everybody.
00:02:05,297 --> 00:02:08,Couldn't find a bathing suit,
so I'm dippin' in the buff.
00:02:08,369 --> 00:02:09,Hot tub, here I come.
00:02:09,612 --> 00:02:11,Oh, no, my robe!
00:02:11,683 --> 00:02:13,♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪
00:02:13,443 --> 00:02:16,♪ But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say ♪
00:02:19,518 --> 00:02:21,♪ I don't know the future ♪
00:02:21,071 --> 00:02:24,♪ But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪
00:02:24,109 --> 00:02:26,It was March 8,
1980-something.
00:02:26,007 --> 00:02:28,Me and my girlfriend, Carmen,
were getting serious,
00:02:28,596 --> 00:02:30,which meant the time
had come to meet my family.
00:02:30,495 --> 00:02:33,- I ** so nervous.
- Don't be.
00:02:33,049 --> 00:02:35,Just follow my carefully
crafted instructions,
00:02:35,327 --> 00:02:40,and they'll love you
as much as I...l-like you.
00:02:40,470 --> 00:02:43,With affection, I'm careful
not to prematurely label.
00:02:43,542 --> 00:02:47,Do you really think
that I need these notecards?
00:02:47,132 --> 00:02:48,I'm pretty good
with new people.
00:02:48,513 --> 00:02:50,For sure,
but they're not.
00:02:50,825 --> 00:02:53,And thanks to my tutoring
and her natural charm,
00:02:53,794 --> 00:02:55,I was hoping she'd be a hit.
00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:57,First up was Barry.
00:02:57,798 --> 00:03:02,Um, I love how jacked and
Chuck Norris-like your body is.
00:03:02,354 --> 00:03:05,What a wonderful
and accurate hello.
00:03:05,392 --> 00:03:07,Adam, don't let this one
get away.
00:03:07,497 --> 00:03:10,After that success, she took
a swing at my grouchy grandpa.
00:03:10,535 --> 00:03:13,Mr. Goldberg, this bag of
russet potatoes is for you.
00:03:13,538 --> 00:03:14,The whole gunnysack?
00:03:14,677 --> 00:03:16,Eh, look at you.
00:03:16,057 --> 00:03:17,Not a complete
waste of space.
00:03:17,335 --> 00:03:20,Whoa.
Pop-Pop's highest compliment.
00:03:20,579 --> 00:03:24,Then came the final gauntlet,
my famously hard-to-please mom.
00:03:24,169 --> 00:03:25,I hope you like it.
00:03:25,722 --> 00:03:28,I only used 14 cheeses
and every meat available
at the butcher.
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,Hmm.
00:03:32,350 --> 00:03:35,I love how impossibly full
I feel after just one b***e!
00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:37,- Mm!
- Success.
00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:40,Carmen had done what few before
her had dared to even try.
00:03:40,047 --> 00:03:42,See?
They all adore you.
00:03:42,152 --> 00:03:43,And now the final part
of my plan--
00:03:43,361 --> 00:03:45,we leave before they change
their crazy, fickle minds.
00:03:45,915 --> 00:03:47,But, wait, what about
your sister?
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,You don't have to worry
about her.
00:03:48,849 --> 00:03:50,Trust me, let's go now
and leave
the rest of these lunatics
00:03:50,816 --> 00:03:51,wanting more.
00:03:51,990 --> 00:03:54,Okey-dokey, I guess.
00:03:56,305 --> 00:04:00,Guess who has two thumbs
and ate
all of her strained peas?
00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:01,This gal!
00:04:01,551 --> 00:04:04,That is adorable.
You must be Erica.
00:04:04,658 --> 00:04:06,I'm Carmen.
00:04:06,867 --> 00:04:08,Oh.
00:04:08,144 --> 00:04:09,Hello.
00:04:11,112 --> 00:04:12,Um, I was
just heading out,
00:04:12,528 --> 00:04:15,but I wanted to say
how super impressed I **
00:04:15,531 --> 00:04:17,by your ability
to balance motherhood
00:04:17,429 --> 00:04:19,and applying
to law school.
00:04:19,431 --> 00:04:21,Right back 'atcha.
00:04:21,882 --> 00:04:23,That doesn't apply to me.
00:04:23,953 --> 00:04:26,I-- T-Thank you.
00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:28,Your skin is super dewy.
00:04:29,579 --> 00:04:30,I'm gonna go.
00:04:33,134 --> 00:04:35,It turned out not everyone
was a Carmen fan.
00:04:35,896 --> 00:04:37,What the hell, lady?
00:04:37,622 --> 00:04:40,What's with
the hateful reaction
to meeting the woman I...
00:04:40,625 --> 00:04:42,have
intense affection for?
00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:44,Oh, I've met Carmen before.
00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:45,I've met her but good.
00:04:47,563 --> 00:04:49,I was 8 years old.
00:04:49,737 --> 00:04:51,And we were auditioning
for the role of Annie
00:04:51,498 --> 00:04:53,in the Jenkintown Children's
Theater production
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,of the beloved musical.
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,And you shared a fun
and healthy love of the stage
without issue?
00:04:58,159 --> 00:05:00,She stole my part!
00:05:00,472 --> 00:05:02,I was
a shoo-in for Annie.
00:05:02,509 --> 00:05:06,No one could sing, dance,
or violently scrub a floor
like me.
00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:07,You do carry the anger
of a child
00:05:07,962 --> 00:05:09,whose parents
have abandoned her.
133...
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