The.Goldbergs.2013.S10E19.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng] Subtitles
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00:00:02,524 --> 00:00:04,Back in the '80s,
my mom hit the dating scene.
00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:07,- The lucky guy was Joe Perott.
- Wow.
00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:11,And what started
as a workplace friendship
quickly led to more.
00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:13,I made you a mixtape.
00:00:13,143 --> 00:00:15,At first, my mom had no idea
what was happening.
00:00:15,276 --> 00:00:18,- Joe, are we on a date?
- You didn't know?
00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:21,Before long, she realized
she liked him back.
00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:23,- You have a crush.
- I have a crush.
00:00:23,414 --> 00:00:25,And, soon, it was heating up.
00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:28,But that didn't mean
she was playing it cool.
00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:32,Okay, I'm deciding
which sweater to wear
on my date with Joe.
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,Does this say romance to you?
00:00:34,469 --> 00:00:36,It says "Run, I'm a dork."
00:00:36,732 --> 00:00:38,Poo!
Ben, what do you think?
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:39,You g***t a brown sweater.
I like brown.
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:41,Well, I don't like brown.
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:43,But I don't
hate brown neither.
00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:44,Very helpful. Adam?
00:00:44,827 --> 00:00:46,Mr. Perott's great.
00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:48,He once pulled me aside
on the playground to explain
00:00:48,570 --> 00:00:51,I was confusing the words
"dunking" and "boinking."
00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:53,- There's a difference?
- A big one.
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,And it's that very knowledge
that makes me want
to have no part of this.
00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:56,Who in their
right mind would?
00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:59,Okay, so, I sorted these
by color and word count.
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:00,But I'm still partial
to this number
00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:02,with the fun
little forest scene.
00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:04,The muskrats
are holding hands.
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:06,What the hell
are you doing, dude?
00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:07,Oh, I'm the wardrobe consultant.
00:01:07,676 --> 00:01:10,I see that.
Take it off.
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,If you want it
to go well, just--
00:01:11,593 --> 00:01:13,I know, just be myself.
00:01:13,943 --> 00:01:16,Sure, that. But also,
be a less pushy,
00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:18,overbearing version
of yourself.
00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:21,Like, for example,
anybody else.
00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:23,Stop worrying.
Joe is obsessed with me.
00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:25,Listen to this.
00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:27,Hi, Bev.
I found an old box
in my office labeled
00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:29,"Adam Goldberg backup pants."
00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:31,Should I bring them by
when I pick you up?
00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:33,God, I hope this
relationship fails.
00:01:33,397 --> 00:01:36,You all hear the desire
in his voice when he said,
"backup pants"?
00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:37,- I really don't.
- Well, listen again.
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,..."Adam Goldberg
backup pants."
00:01:40,796 --> 00:01:42,Oh!
Stop!
00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:44,Carmen's gonna be here
any second!
00:01:44,495 --> 00:01:46,This is not the kind of thing
she needs to hear.
00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:49,- He wants a taste,
baby girl.
-"Backup pants."
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,Enough!
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,Anyway, I had to move up
the reservation,
00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:53,so I'll see you at 6:00.
00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:56,Six? That's now!
00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:57,You didn't listen
to the whole message?
00:01:57,508 --> 00:01:59,No, I just kept replaying
the s***y part
00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:00,where he said "backup pants."-
00:02:00,903 --> 00:02:02,Oh, great, he's here.
00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:04,You need to change.
Geoff, find anything.
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,Uh, okay.
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:07,Oh, no!
Carmen is here, too.
00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:09,And he has the pants!
00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:11,Geoff, sweaters!
Go! Go! Go!
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,There's a note pinned
to them that says
00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:15,"In case Adam Goldberg
has an emergency"!
00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:17,Okay, everybody
stop panicking.
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,The man has a hunger,
00:02:18,964 --> 00:02:21,a hunger for a steaming
plate of Bev.
00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:23,Now Carmen's examining
the pants!
00:02:23,099 --> 00:02:24,And he's explaining them!
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:26,Just put anything on!
00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:27,Her face is a horror show
of emotions!
00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:29,I need to do something!
00:02:29,061 --> 00:02:31,"Slam Boink."
You did it.
00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:33,I don't hate brown anymore.
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪
00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:38,♪ But nonetheless
I feel the need to say ♪
00:02:41,073 --> 00:02:42,♪ I don't know the future ♪
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,♪ But the past keeps
Getting clearer every day ♪
00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,It was April 12th,
1980-something,
00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:50,and like always,
my brother was running hot.
00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:51,Hey, hon.
How's it going?
00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,Good, if it was
opposite day.
00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:55,I have two finals Friday.
00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:57,The landlord wants more rent,
00:02:57,394 --> 00:03:00,even though we just paid
30 days ago.
00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:01,And you know that
hotshot pigeon?
00:03:01,877 --> 00:03:03,He's been on the windowsill
mocking me all day!
00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:06,So, happy anniversary!
00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:09,Anniversary. Right.
00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:11,- Barry, did you forget?
- No!
00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:14,My gift was hidden far away.
I'll be back.
00:03:14,063 --> 00:03:16,Yeah, it turns out Barry's day
wasn't getting any easier.
00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:17,- Be back!
- Okay.
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:18,Good thing he knew
just where to get
a last-minute gift
00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:21,that would fix everything,
00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:23,our neighbor, Virginia Kremp.
00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:24,Stop what you're doing!
00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:26,I'll need a dozen roses
for my bedroom associate.
00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:28,Ah, Joanne.
00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:30,I remember that morning
years ago at the park
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:31,when Lou looked away
from the swing,
00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:34,how far she flew.
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,And now she loves you.
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:39,Anyhoo! Charles is away
at a hydrangea convention.
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:41,And since
I'm the only one here,
you're gonna have to wait.
00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,Fine, I'll do it myself.
00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:48,Argh! Thorns!
00:03:48,706 --> 00:03:50,- More thorns!
- Stop!
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:51,Satan's hearth,
00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:53,why is your body
giving off so much heat?
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,I run hot
when I'm stressed out.
00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:57,The doctor says it's because
I gestated for 50 weeks.
00:03:57,541 --> 00:03:59,We need to cool you off.
Come with me.
00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:04,This is nice.
00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:07,Yeah, I spent two days
in there during
the heat wave of '73.
00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:09,I bet it'd be nice
to be a flower.
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,Hmm. Why is that?
00:04:11,512 --> 00:04:14,Well, flowers don't worry
about med school, rent,
00:04:14,776 --> 00:04:17,or forgetting to get a gift
for their Sweet Drawers.
00:04:17,082 --> 00:04:18,That's Joanne.
I gathered.
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,She also calls me
Sweet Drawers.
00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:23,Well, you're not creative,
but you like each other.
00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:25,You know, whenever
I'm feeling overwhelmed,
00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:29,I find it helps to
focus on one task at a time.
00:04:29,138 --> 00:04:30,Let's start with Joanne.
00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:32,How would you like
to learn how to make
00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:33,your very own
arrangement for her?
00:04:33,664 --> 00:04:35,Deal!
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:38,With that, Ginzy quickly
saved my brother's anniversary.
00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:39,Meanwhile,
my mom and Mr. Perott
00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:41,were on their first real date,
00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:43,which was off to a slow start.
00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:44,Big menu, huh?
00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:47,It is, yeah.
00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:48,Despite their history
of flirtation,...
my mom hit the dating scene.
00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:07,- The lucky guy was Joe Perott.
- Wow.
00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:11,And what started
as a workplace friendship
quickly led to more.
00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:13,I made you a mixtape.
00:00:13,143 --> 00:00:15,At first, my mom had no idea
what was happening.
00:00:15,276 --> 00:00:18,- Joe, are we on a date?
- You didn't know?
00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:21,Before long, she realized
she liked him back.
00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:23,- You have a crush.
- I have a crush.
00:00:23,414 --> 00:00:25,And, soon, it was heating up.
00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:28,But that didn't mean
she was playing it cool.
00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:32,Okay, I'm deciding
which sweater to wear
on my date with Joe.
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,Does this say romance to you?
00:00:34,469 --> 00:00:36,It says "Run, I'm a dork."
00:00:36,732 --> 00:00:38,Poo!
Ben, what do you think?
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:39,You g***t a brown sweater.
I like brown.
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:41,Well, I don't like brown.
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:43,But I don't
hate brown neither.
00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:44,Very helpful. Adam?
00:00:44,827 --> 00:00:46,Mr. Perott's great.
00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:48,He once pulled me aside
on the playground to explain
00:00:48,570 --> 00:00:51,I was confusing the words
"dunking" and "boinking."
00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:53,- There's a difference?
- A big one.
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,And it's that very knowledge
that makes me want
to have no part of this.
00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:56,Who in their
right mind would?
00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:59,Okay, so, I sorted these
by color and word count.
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:00,But I'm still partial
to this number
00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:02,with the fun
little forest scene.
00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:04,The muskrats
are holding hands.
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:06,What the hell
are you doing, dude?
00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:07,Oh, I'm the wardrobe consultant.
00:01:07,676 --> 00:01:10,I see that.
Take it off.
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,If you want it
to go well, just--
00:01:11,593 --> 00:01:13,I know, just be myself.
00:01:13,943 --> 00:01:16,Sure, that. But also,
be a less pushy,
00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:18,overbearing version
of yourself.
00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:21,Like, for example,
anybody else.
00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:23,Stop worrying.
Joe is obsessed with me.
00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:25,Listen to this.
00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:27,Hi, Bev.
I found an old box
in my office labeled
00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:29,"Adam Goldberg backup pants."
00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:31,Should I bring them by
when I pick you up?
00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:33,God, I hope this
relationship fails.
00:01:33,397 --> 00:01:36,You all hear the desire
in his voice when he said,
"backup pants"?
00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:37,- I really don't.
- Well, listen again.
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,..."Adam Goldberg
backup pants."
00:01:40,796 --> 00:01:42,Oh!
Stop!
00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:44,Carmen's gonna be here
any second!
00:01:44,495 --> 00:01:46,This is not the kind of thing
she needs to hear.
00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:49,- He wants a taste,
baby girl.
-"Backup pants."
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,Enough!
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,Anyway, I had to move up
the reservation,
00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:53,so I'll see you at 6:00.
00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:56,Six? That's now!
00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:57,You didn't listen
to the whole message?
00:01:57,508 --> 00:01:59,No, I just kept replaying
the s***y part
00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:00,where he said "backup pants."-
00:02:00,903 --> 00:02:02,Oh, great, he's here.
00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:04,You need to change.
Geoff, find anything.
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,Uh, okay.
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:07,Oh, no!
Carmen is here, too.
00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:09,And he has the pants!
00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:11,Geoff, sweaters!
Go! Go! Go!
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,There's a note pinned
to them that says
00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:15,"In case Adam Goldberg
has an emergency"!
00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:17,Okay, everybody
stop panicking.
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,The man has a hunger,
00:02:18,964 --> 00:02:21,a hunger for a steaming
plate of Bev.
00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:23,Now Carmen's examining
the pants!
00:02:23,099 --> 00:02:24,And he's explaining them!
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:26,Just put anything on!
00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:27,Her face is a horror show
of emotions!
00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:29,I need to do something!
00:02:29,061 --> 00:02:31,"Slam Boink."
You did it.
00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:33,I don't hate brown anymore.
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪
00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:38,♪ But nonetheless
I feel the need to say ♪
00:02:41,073 --> 00:02:42,♪ I don't know the future ♪
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,♪ But the past keeps
Getting clearer every day ♪
00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,It was April 12th,
1980-something,
00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:50,and like always,
my brother was running hot.
00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:51,Hey, hon.
How's it going?
00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,Good, if it was
opposite day.
00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:55,I have two finals Friday.
00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:57,The landlord wants more rent,
00:02:57,394 --> 00:03:00,even though we just paid
30 days ago.
00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:01,And you know that
hotshot pigeon?
00:03:01,877 --> 00:03:03,He's been on the windowsill
mocking me all day!
00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:06,So, happy anniversary!
00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:09,Anniversary. Right.
00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:11,- Barry, did you forget?
- No!
00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:14,My gift was hidden far away.
I'll be back.
00:03:14,063 --> 00:03:16,Yeah, it turns out Barry's day
wasn't getting any easier.
00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:17,- Be back!
- Okay.
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:18,Good thing he knew
just where to get
a last-minute gift
00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:21,that would fix everything,
00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:23,our neighbor, Virginia Kremp.
00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:24,Stop what you're doing!
00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:26,I'll need a dozen roses
for my bedroom associate.
00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:28,Ah, Joanne.
00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:30,I remember that morning
years ago at the park
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:31,when Lou looked away
from the swing,
00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:34,how far she flew.
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,And now she loves you.
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:39,Anyhoo! Charles is away
at a hydrangea convention.
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:41,And since
I'm the only one here,
you're gonna have to wait.
00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,Fine, I'll do it myself.
00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:48,Argh! Thorns!
00:03:48,706 --> 00:03:50,- More thorns!
- Stop!
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:51,Satan's hearth,
00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:53,why is your body
giving off so much heat?
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,I run hot
when I'm stressed out.
00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:57,The doctor says it's because
I gestated for 50 weeks.
00:03:57,541 --> 00:03:59,We need to cool you off.
Come with me.
00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:04,This is nice.
00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:07,Yeah, I spent two days
in there during
the heat wave of '73.
00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:09,I bet it'd be nice
to be a flower.
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,Hmm. Why is that?
00:04:11,512 --> 00:04:14,Well, flowers don't worry
about med school, rent,
00:04:14,776 --> 00:04:17,or forgetting to get a gift
for their Sweet Drawers.
00:04:17,082 --> 00:04:18,That's Joanne.
I gathered.
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,She also calls me
Sweet Drawers.
00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:23,Well, you're not creative,
but you like each other.
00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:25,You know, whenever
I'm feeling overwhelmed,
00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:29,I find it helps to
focus on one task at a time.
00:04:29,138 --> 00:04:30,Let's start with Joanne.
00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:32,How would you like
to learn how to make
00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:33,your very own
arrangement for her?
00:04:33,664 --> 00:04:35,Deal!
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:38,With that, Ginzy quickly
saved my brother's anniversary.
00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:39,Meanwhile,
my mom and Mr. Perott
00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:41,were on their first real date,
00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:43,which was off to a slow start.
00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:44,Big menu, huh?
00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:47,It is, yeah.
00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:48,Despite their history
of flirtation,...
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