The.Goldbergs.2013.S10E20.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng] Subtitles

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00:00:01,277 --> 00:00:03,Back in the '80s,
my sister was a new mom,

00:00:03,382 --> 00:00:05,and she was loving it,

00:00:05,143 --> 00:00:07,which meant she had to put her
dream of law school on hold...

00:00:07,973 --> 00:00:09,until now.

00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:10,There are
my two loves.

00:00:10,389 --> 00:00:13,One innocent and pure,
the other terrifying and hot.

00:00:13,323 --> 00:00:15,You know, you can also
just walk in and say "hi."

00:00:15,118 --> 00:00:16,So, how's the law school
application coming?

00:00:16,809 --> 00:00:17,What's another word
for perfect?

00:00:17,879 --> 00:00:19,Because it's
the opposite of that.

00:00:19,881 --> 00:00:23,Oh, I'm sure my legal eagle
is just being modest.

00:00:23,471 --> 00:00:24,"Do you have any
unusual hobbies?"

00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:26,"Yes,
the Diaper Olympics."

00:00:26,371 --> 00:00:28,You're looking
at the gold medalist
of applying butt paste.

00:00:28,959 --> 00:00:30,"What are you
passionate about?"

00:00:30,133 --> 00:00:32,"My daughter and,
sometimes, my husband."

00:00:32,273 --> 00:00:33,I wrote what I wrote.
Deal with it.

00:00:33,723 --> 00:00:36,These answers seem
kinda baby-centric.

00:00:36,243 --> 00:00:37,It's just these
last few months,

00:00:37,416 --> 00:00:39,my brain's been
nothing but
"baby, baby, baby,"

00:00:39,901 --> 00:00:41,and it's hard
to switch gears.

00:00:41,006 --> 00:00:42,Erica, look at me.

00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:43,Being a lawyer
is your dream,

00:00:43,181 --> 00:00:44,and you're gonna
make it happen.

00:00:44,527 --> 00:00:46,- I know it.
- You know, I coulda
been a lawyer.

00:00:46,494 --> 00:00:48,Oh, really?
You never mentioned it.

00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,I have experience
arguing with judges,

00:00:50,326 --> 00:00:52,police officers, magistrates,

00:00:52,362 --> 00:00:54,and a homeless man
I like to call Matlock

00:00:54,502 --> 00:00:56,because of his
Southern accent.

00:00:56,987 --> 00:00:59,I made more homemade
baby food for Muriel.

00:00:59,024 --> 00:01:01,Nice, she gobbles
this stuff up.

00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:03,And I have to admit,
I may have sampled
the wares

00:01:03,373 --> 00:01:04,during a peckish moment,

00:01:04,547 --> 00:01:06,and my review is in--
delish.

00:01:06,273 --> 00:01:08,I'm the best
at what I do.

00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:09,In this very
specific case, sure.

00:01:09,966 --> 00:01:12,Beep-beep, working attorney
coming through.

00:01:12,141 --> 00:01:14,Greetings, small talk, compliments.
Now let's get to it.

00:01:14,660 --> 00:01:15,I asked
Joanne to come by

00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,to maybe help you out
with your essay.

00:01:17,215 --> 00:01:19,Oh, that's so nice
of you, Joanne.

00:01:19,217 --> 00:01:20,Especially since it sounds
like you're busy.

00:01:20,804 --> 00:01:23,Currently, I'm smack dab
in the middle
of a 16-hour workday.

00:01:23,566 --> 00:01:25,Whoa, 16 hours?

00:01:25,602 --> 00:01:27,And with that,
I ** halfway through
my 20-minute lunch break.

00:01:27,846 --> 00:01:29,Lunch breaks,
that's new.

00:01:29,399 --> 00:01:31,This sounds like the firm
for you, Schmoopie.

00:01:31,436 --> 00:01:32,Yeah, maybe.

00:01:32,575 --> 00:01:33,End of day
would be best.

00:01:33,645 --> 00:01:34,Can we say
11 o'clock?

00:01:34,715 --> 00:01:36,- P.M.?
- Yes.

00:01:36,820 --> 00:01:38,No overnighters
with this firm.

00:01:38,236 --> 00:01:40,I ** done
with that nonsense.

00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,And the perks
just keep on coming.

00:01:41,618 --> 00:01:43,Joanne, are you eating
the baby food?

00:01:43,275 --> 00:01:44,I have a tight
lunch window,

00:01:44,621 --> 00:01:47,and this stuff is so good,
it should be illegal.

00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:49,And then Erica would
have to defend me.

00:01:49,212 --> 00:01:51,- If she has the time.
- Yeah.

00:01:51,283 --> 00:01:52,- Hey, don't hog the jar.
- I was here first.

00:01:52,802 --> 00:01:54,- I really like it, though.
- I get this now. I need this.

00:01:54,217 --> 00:01:55,- I really like this flavor.
- You live here!

00:01:55,391 --> 00:01:56,- This is my baby's food!
- Oh!

00:01:56,978 --> 00:01:58,♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪

00:01:58,635 --> 00:02:01,♪ But nonetheless
I feel the need to say ♪

00:02:04,779 --> 00:02:06,♪ I don't know the future ♪

00:02:06,195 --> 00:02:10,♪ But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪

00:02:10,026 --> 00:02:12,It was April 5th,
1980-something

00:02:12,235 --> 00:02:14,and I was in search
of inspiration.

00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:17,I needed a creative jolt to
get me back behind the camera.

00:02:17,309 --> 00:02:18,Boring.

00:02:18,552 --> 00:02:20,Lackluster.

00:02:20,243 --> 00:02:21,Yawn.

00:02:21,417 --> 00:02:23,Men with hats
in black and white.

00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:25,Welp, I did it.

00:02:25,524 --> 00:02:27,I reached the end of TV.

00:02:27,457 --> 00:02:28,But then I saw it.

00:02:28,803 --> 00:02:32,A music video that blew my mind
and captured my heart.

00:02:32,013 --> 00:02:35,It was so full of joy,
so fresh, so singular,

00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:38,it gave me the spark
of originality I needed.

00:02:38,675 --> 00:02:40,We're making an homage

00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:41,to the Billy Joel video

00:02:41,609 --> 00:02:42,"Uptown Girl"!

00:02:42,748 --> 00:02:43,The cute
doo-wop song?

00:02:43,853 --> 00:02:45,Cute?

00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,It's a modern masterpiece
by a genius

00:02:47,132 --> 00:02:48,at the height of his form.

00:02:48,306 --> 00:02:50,Doesn't he sing into
a wrench and skip dance

00:02:50,515 --> 00:02:51,while rhyming "boy"
with "toy"?

00:02:51,826 --> 00:02:53,Height of his form.

00:02:53,103 --> 00:02:54,I just have
one question--

00:02:54,726 --> 00:02:56,Is Barry
gonna be involved?

00:02:57,867 --> 00:02:59,No. He just plopped down
on the couch

00:02:59,455 --> 00:03:00,and refused to leave.

00:03:00,525 --> 00:03:02,Power move!

00:03:02,009 --> 00:03:03,And he's also been
screaming "power move"

00:03:03,838 --> 00:03:05,off and on
for the last hour.

00:03:05,115 --> 00:03:07,Which is, in itself,
a power move!

00:03:08,533 --> 00:03:10,So, Billy Joel.
What are we thinking?

00:03:10,397 --> 00:03:12,I'm thinking Carmen and I
could play the lead roles

00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:15,of high-class beauty
and everyman hero.

00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:16,Yes!
It's settled.

00:03:16,713 --> 00:03:18,I will play the role
of William Joel--

00:03:18,577 --> 00:03:20,The curly-haired
musical prodigy

00:03:20,683 --> 00:03:23,dripping with charisma,
s***x appeal, and sweat.

00:03:23,168 --> 00:03:24,Again, I don't want
you involved,

00:03:24,963 --> 00:03:26,and you could never fill
the shoes of the piano man.

00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:29,- Then the obvious
choice is Carmen.
- What?

00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:30,Yeah, what?

00:03:30,486 --> 00:03:31,Carmen's
the uptown girl.

00:03:31,970 --> 00:03:33,I'm the downtown boy.

00:03:33,661 --> 00:03:35,Uh, not buying it.

00:03:35,042 --> 00:03:37,Carmen's the one
with the real world bonafides

00:03:37,147 --> 00:03:38,to play
a hard-working man.

00:03:38,632 --> 00:03:39,Thanks?

00:03:39,943 --> 00:03:41,Her father owns
an auto body shop,

00:03:41,773 --> 00:03:43,while you live
in a white bread world

00:03:43,533 --> 00:03:46,of Pudding Bars
and stunning older brothers.

00:03:46,398 --> 00:03:49,You're the uptown girl
in a fancy car,

00:03:49,194 --> 00:03:52,unable to handle a minor
automotive inconvenience.

00:03:52,715 --> 00:03:54,He does paint
a compelling picture.

00:03:54,406 --> 00:03:55,- I'm invested.
- No!

00:03:55,856 --> 00:03:57,She's Christie Brinkley

00:03:57,409 --> 00:03:59,and I'm the rough-and-tumble
Billy Joel.

00:03:59,342 --> 00:04:00,Is Billy Joel even

00:04:00,964 --> 00:04:02,the rough-and-tumble
Billy Joel?

00:04:02,449 --> 00:04:05,Wait. Barry's idiotic idea
gave me a good one.

00:04:05,175 --> 00:04:06,We can shoot the video

00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,at Carmen's dad's
auto body shop!

00:04:08,455 --> 00:04:09,Power move!

00:04:09,559 --> 00:04:10,Starting to think

00:04:10,629 --> 00:04:12,you don't have a grasp
on that phrase.

00:04:12,148 --> 00:04:14,Whaddaya say, Carm?
It's the perfect location.

00:04:14,081 --> 00:04:15,Plus, I can finally
meet your dad.

00:04:15,910 --> 00:04:18,Oh.
Um, I'm not sure.

00:04:18,188 --> 00:04:19,914...

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