Clarksons Farm -megusta S04E01 Subtitles

At 00:00:08,600, Character said: Here we go.

2
At 00:00:12,200, Character said: No, cows, don't do that!

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At 00:00:15,520, Character said: Get back, get back!

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At 00:00:18,080, Character said: Do you understand?

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At 00:00:19,920, Character said: Get back.

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At 00:00:21,960, Character said: I'm on my own, here.

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At 00:00:43,440, Character said: Morning, pigs.

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At 00:00:46,720, Character said: Stop!

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At 00:00:56,080, Character said: I want to make it absolutely plain

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At 00:00:59,200, Character said: that I'm absolutely thrilled to bits
for Kaleb.

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At 00:01:02,240, Character said: I'm not a socialist.

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At 00:01:03,800, Character said: I want him to do well,
I want him to make money,

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At 00:01:06,360, Character said: I want him, one day,
to be able to buy his own farm.

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At 00:01:10,720, Character said: But

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At 00:01:12,640, Character said: he has left me
just a little bit in the lurch.

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At 00:01:18,560, Character said: Good evening, Coventry!

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At 00:01:21,720, Character said: Please give a huge agricultural welcome

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At 00:01:25,200, Character said: to the farmer on tour.

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At 00:01:27,080, Character said: All the way from Chipping Norton,

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At 00:01:30,440, Character said: Kaleb Cooper!

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At 00:01:48,880, Character said: Stop, no! Get off.

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At 00:02:12,360, Character said: Welcome back to Clarkson's Farm,

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At 00:02:17,080, Character said: where things have gone a bit topsy-turvy.

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At 00:02:20,000, Character said: How are you doing, mate? You all right?

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At 00:02:22,720, Character said: There we go.
There we go. Pleasure.

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At 00:02:25,640, Character said: Kaleb is now in the spotlight.

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At 00:02:28,160, Character said: There we go, look.

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At 00:02:31,560, Character said: And I'm in the winter.

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At 00:02:34,280, Character said: Outside, on the farm

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At 00:02:37,280, Character said: Doing all the jobs,

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At 00:02:39,160, Character said: on my own.

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At 00:02:51,400, Character said: Come on, rise and shine.
If I can get up, you can.

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At 00:02:54,440, Character said: Come on.

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At 00:02:55,760, Character said: Yeah, I know it's raining. Come on.

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At 00:02:58,440, Character said: Please, come on. Please.
It's freezing cold and soaking wet.

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At 00:03:01,840, Character said: Come on!

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At 00:03:04,760, Character said: Come on, out!

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At 00:03:09,720, Character said: They say that one man

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At 00:03:13,480, Character said: should be able to run

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At 00:03:15,800, Character said: anything up to a thousand-acre farm
on his own, and that's probably true,

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At 00:03:20,000, Character said: if the man is competent and practical.

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At 00:03:23,640, Character said: It's also probably true
if the farm is arable.

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At 00:03:26,960, Character said: But this is mixed.
I've g***t all the crops.

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At 00:03:29,960, Character said: And I've g***t pigs,

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At 00:03:31,960, Character said: and cows,

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At 00:03:34,120, Character said: and sheep,

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At 00:03:35,800, Character said: and goats,

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At 00:03:37,720, Character said: and the hens.

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At 00:03:45,040, Character said: Egg.

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At 00:03:46,640, Character said: Good.

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At 00:03:50,520, Character said: Yes, I'm shovelling s***t.

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At 00:04:01,160, Character said: What's this?

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At 00:04:02,640, Character said: Two and half tons of wild bird feed.

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At 00:04:05,920, Character said: Why have Why is it

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At 00:04:08,000, Character said: Charlie Ireland here.

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At 00:04:09,480, Character said: Sorry, I can't get to the phone
right now, but I'll call you back.

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At 00:04:13,280, Character said: Here we go, goats.

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At 00:04:14,560, Character said: Ah, ah, ah!

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At 00:04:16,800, Character said: No, f***k! One's escaped!

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At 00:04:19,280, Character said: Two's escaped.

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At 00:04:21,080, Character said: For f***k's sake.

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At 00:04:22,680, Character said: Back, otherwise you're gonna be
in an Indian restaurant.

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At 00:04:25,360, Character said: Ah, ah, ah!

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At 00:04:26,800, Character said: And sadly, Lisa wasn't around
to share the workload

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At 00:04:31,440, Character said: because she was away on one of her thin
blonde Oxfordshire women projects,

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At 00:04:36,560, Character said: learning how to make scent.

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At 00:04:41,000, Character said: So you've g***t your top notes,

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At 00:04:42,600, Character said: like oranges, like the bergamot,
like the lemons.

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At 00:04:45,880, Character said: And the middles are like the roses,
the jasmins, the lavenders.

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At 00:04:49,440, Character said: And then, you've g***t your patchouli,
you've g***t your

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At 00:04:53,040, Character said: You've g***t your musks,
which are much deeper

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At 00:05:00,200, Character said: Come on, pigs!

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At 00:05:03,080, Character said: Oh no! Oh, God, no!

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At 00:05:05,600, Character said: Oh, s***t. F***k.

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At 00:05:08,120, Character said: F***k.

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At 00:05:09,880, Character said: F***g hell.

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At 00:05:13,440, Character said: Oh, God.

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At 00:05:14,960, Character said: They've g***t 20 acres

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At 00:05:16,880, Character said: And you've g***t 43

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At 00:05:19,440, Character said: Now I've g***t
a brand-new combine harvester

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At 00:05:22,120, Character said: And I'll give you the key

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At 00:05:24,800, Character said: Come on now,
let's get together in perfect harmony

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At 00:05:29,680, Character said: I've g***t 20 acres
and you've g***t 43

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At 00:05:40,240, Character said: No.

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At 00:05:43,240, Character said: S***t.

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At 00:05:51,080, Character said: And there is my quest,

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At 00:05:53,040, Character said: clearing away Kaleb's soggy hay.

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At 00:06:03,800, Character said: Up you come.

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At 00:06:07,920, Character said: Oh, s***t

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At 00:06:10,000, Character said: No!

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At 00:06:13,120, Character said: For f***k's sake.

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At 00:06:24,400, Character said: Bollocks.

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At 00:06:27,480, Character said: Hi, Charlie.

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At 00:06:28,840, Character said: Yeah. I was just wondering why
we've g***t five bags of wild bird seed.

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At 00:06:33,560, Character said: Ah! Erm--

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At 00:06:34,840, Character said: We've g***t to do
some supplementary feeding

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At 00:06:37,400, Character said: under the Countryside Stewardship Scheme.

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At 00:06:40,560, Character said: So
What? Feeding the birds?

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At 00:06:44,000, Character said: Yeah.

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At 00:06:44,960, Character said: What do I put it into
to make it bird feed?

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At 00:06:48,520, Character said: Hello?

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At 00:06:52,960, Character said: Hello?

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At 00:06:54,400, Character said: Hello, can you hear me?
Yeah?

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At 00:06:56,640, Character said: Not really

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At 00:07:03,080, Character said: So, the rest of the day,
I've g***t to muck out the cows,

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At 00:07:06,240, Character said: and in a little bit time,

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At 00:07:08,040, Character said: I've g***t to collect more eggs.

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At 00:07:11,600, Character said: And feed the goats,
and feed the pigs again.

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At 00:07:15,520, Character said: And then

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At 00:07:19,320, Character said: Guess what I'm doing.

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At 00:07:21,480, Character said: I'm gonna feed the pigs,
feed the goats, collect the eggs.

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At 00:07:25,680, Character said: And on top
of all the animal husbandry,

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At 00:07:28,440, Character said: we were now getting to that time of year

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At 00:07:30,160, Character said: when I'd have to start thinking
about planting the crops.

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At 00:07:34,840, Character said: This is winter wheat.
Yeah.

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At 00:07:36,520, Character said: The durum wheat needs doing.
Yeah.

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At 00:07:38,560, Character said: Spring barley, that needs doing.
Spring barley.

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At 00:07:41,160, Character said: And it wasn't just
the wheat and barley that needed sorting,

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At 00:07:45,400, Character said: because the government had just announced
all the exciting new schemes

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At 00:07:48,960, Character said: that would replace the old EU subsidies.

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At 00:07:52,840, Character said: And as Charlie explained,

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At 00:07:55,000, Character said: this meant I'd have to plant new crops

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At 00:07:57,440, Character said: whose names were
a blizzard of Whitehall gobbledygook.

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At 00:08:02,320, Character said: This,

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At 00:08:03,480, Character said: which is all the land
around the farm shop

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At 00:08:05,960, Character said: Yeah.

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At 00:08:07,120, Character said: Is Herbal Ley SAM3.

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At 00:08:09,680, Character said: Which sounds like a missile.
Correct.

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At 00:08:12,160, Character said: What's a herbal ley?

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At 00:08:14,000, Character said: A herbal ley is a GS4.
What?

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At 00:08:16,840, Character said: Herbal ley is GS4.

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At 00:08:18,840, Character said: The sustainable farming incentive.
That's the SFI.

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At 00:08:21,400, Character said: Yes.
That covers the GS4.

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At 00:08:23,400, Character said: That covers No. That

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At 00:08:26,160, Character said: The SFI has a code of SAM3
for the herbal ley,

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At 00:08:31,080, Character said: but Countryside Stewardship,
which is another scheme

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At 00:08:34,920, Character said: That's CSS HT.
Yes, the higher tier,

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At 00:08:38,040, Character said: which covers this.

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At 00:08:39,600, Character said: So But I'm planting

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At 00:08:41,520, Character said: It's a SAM3, but it's also a GS4.

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At 00:08:44,080, Character said: And it's a herbal ley.

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At 00:08:46,200, Character said: It is a herbal ley.

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At 00:08:47,800, Character said: How many f***g meetings have Defra had
to come up with this?

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At 00:08:52,520, Character said: The bottom line was that
the government would give me money

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At 00:08:55,120, Character said: so long as I didn't grow food,

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At 00:08:57,960, Character said: only stuff that would make
the soil healthier.

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