The.Bernie.Mac.Show.S05E10.Some.Church.Bull.1080p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng] Subtitles
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00:00:02,837 --> 00:00:06,(theme music playing)
00:00:18,093 --> 00:00:19,BERNIE: Come on,
sweetheart, let's go!
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:22,I g***t your wrap.
We'll be late
for the PTA meeting.
00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:23,Okay, honey.
I'm coming.
00:00:23,298 --> 00:00:25,Look at this.
Isn't this great?
00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:27,Hold this for me.
00:00:27,094 --> 00:00:30,Poetry Slam.
Nessa Tompkins.
00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:32,First prize.
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,She has really g***t
to be proud.
00:00:34,309 --> 00:00:35,You know, I wish
they would just share
00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:37,more things
like that with us.
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:40,Well, baby, things ain't
falling through the cracks.
00:00:40,291 --> 00:00:43,You're busy, I'm busy,
they're busy. Come on.
00:00:44,528 --> 00:00:46,FATHER: On the sixth,
the bloodmobile will be here.
00:00:46,571 --> 00:00:49,And now, once again,
all families are encouraged
00:00:49,282 --> 00:00:51,to attend the annual
parish retreat
00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:52,at the Wandering Glen Lodge.
00:00:52,669 --> 00:00:54,WOMAN (murmuring):
Wandering Glen Lodge?
00:00:57,165 --> 00:00:58,"Wandering Glen
provides a haven
00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,for families
away from the hubbub
00:01:01,586 --> 00:01:03,of daily life."
00:01:04,339 --> 00:01:07,And now, on
with our raffle, Sister.
00:01:07,259 --> 00:01:09,WANDA: Hey, Bernie,
I think the retreat
00:01:09,219 --> 00:01:10,would be a perfect place
for the whole family
00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:12,to get together.
What do you think?
00:01:12,347 --> 00:01:14,I'd rather hook myself
up to the bloodmobile
00:01:14,141 --> 00:01:15,for a whole month.
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:18,Wanda!
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,Baby girl!
Nessa! Jordan!
00:01:20,739 --> 00:01:22,Come on! We're going to do
the Super Bowl shuffle.
00:01:22,699 --> 00:01:26,Come on. I g***t three movies.
Come on, now.
00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:27,Honey, Jordan's
at a sleepover,
00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:28,and Vanessa is
with her friend,
00:01:28,439 --> 00:01:30,and so it's just
the three of us.
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:33,What? I thought
we were going to have
00:01:33,118 --> 00:01:35,a special DVD movie night.
00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:37,Well...
Can I go back
to my room?
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,You might as well.
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:45,(upbeat music playing)
00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:52,See? Now, that's
what I'm talking about.
00:01:53,054 --> 00:01:54,Yeah. I see.
00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,Everybody's just
going their own way.
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:57,I tried, America.
00:01:57,976 --> 00:02:00,I mean, look at this place.
00:02:00,478 --> 00:02:02,It's better than
a real movie theater.
00:02:02,814 --> 00:02:06,We shouldn't have
to force everyone together.
00:02:06,234 --> 00:02:08,Since they're all gone,
00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:10,we might as well
make the best of it.
00:02:10,989 --> 00:02:12,(stray kernels pops)
00:02:16,912 --> 00:02:18,Honey?
Mm-hmm?
00:02:18,413 --> 00:02:21,I think we should go
on that parish retreat.
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,What?
You know, honey, I think
00:02:23,627 --> 00:02:25,it would be good
for the whole family.
00:02:25,795 --> 00:02:28,You know? We'd get to enjoy
the great outdoors,
00:02:28,423 --> 00:02:30,get to play games
and crafts.
00:02:30,926 --> 00:02:33,Except for one thing, Wanda.
00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:35,Bernie Mac don't do retreats.
00:02:37,182 --> 00:02:38,But he does go to bed.
00:02:41,436 --> 00:02:44,Look, America, I want
to tighten this family up
00:02:44,356 --> 00:02:46,as much as Wanda does,
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:48,but singing "Kumbaya"
00:02:48,151 --> 00:02:50,and roasting weenies
in the woods
00:02:50,129 --> 00:02:51,never helped nobody.
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,Just gave them gas.
00:02:53,657 --> 00:02:55,Yes, gas.
00:02:58,495 --> 00:02:59,Wow.
00:03:00,455 --> 00:03:03,That gives me an idea.
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:05,See? This is
what I'm talking about.
00:03:05,627 --> 00:03:06,A beautiful day.
00:03:06,962 --> 00:03:08,Perfect for
a family drive.
00:03:09,047 --> 00:03:10,You don't need no woods.
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:13,All you need is
an open doggone road.
00:03:13,385 --> 00:03:15,That's all we need.
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,** I right, kids?
00:03:17,347 --> 00:03:20,(whimsical music playing)
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:22,(music stops)
00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:23,Hey, what are you doing?
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:26,We have to see if Paulie
the Penguin lives or dies.
00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:29,You know he lives.
You know it.
00:03:29,526 --> 00:03:32,You've seen it
75 hundred thousand times.
00:03:32,237 --> 00:03:34,No more movies,
and no more headphones.
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,That's it.
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:38,(overlapping chatter)
00:03:38,368 --> 00:03:39,BERNIE:
Wanda, I swear to God,
00:03:39,869 --> 00:03:42,I'm going to drive
this car off the cliff,
00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:45,and we're all going
to be in hell together!
00:03:45,375 --> 00:03:47,No, no, no, no, honey.
I know what would help.
00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:49,Keep your eyes
on the road.
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:51,Okay, everybody,
I have a song.
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:52,Here we go.
00:03:52,282 --> 00:03:54,♪ Do your ears hang low ♪
00:03:54,685 --> 00:03:56,♪ Do they wobble to and fro? ♪
00:03:56,094 --> 00:03:57,♪ Can you tie them in a knot ♪
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:58,♪ Can you tie 'em in a bow? ♪
00:03:58,738 --> 00:03:59,♪ Can you throw it
over your shoulder ♪
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:00,♪ Like a Continental soldier? ♪
00:04:00,724 --> 00:04:02,♪ Do your ears hang low? ♪
00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:05,(pipe organ playing)
America, this is crazy.
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:09,Even when we're together,
we're not together.
00:04:09,190 --> 00:04:10,This is beyond the power
00:04:10,442 --> 00:04:12,of Bernie Mac, America.
00:04:12,610 --> 00:04:15,We're going to have
to go one step higher.
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:17,We're calling on You, Lord,
00:04:17,949 --> 00:04:19,at the family retreat.
00:04:19,784 --> 00:04:21,No TV, no radio,
00:04:21,369 --> 00:04:22,no cell phone.
00:04:22,787 --> 00:04:24,Just us and nature,
00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:26,the way You intended it.
00:04:29,127 --> 00:04:32,Great! No TV, no radio,
00:04:32,255 --> 00:04:34,no cell phone,
just us.
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:37,Oh, Lord,
why You forsake me?
00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:49,(thunder rumbling)
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,FATHER:
If I could have your attention?
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:53,(indistinct chatter)
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:57,Welcome to Wandering Glen.
00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:58,I know
you're all expecting
00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:00,a weekend
of fun and frolic
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:02,in the great outdoors,
00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:04,but it seems the Good Lord
had other plans.
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:07,(thunder rumbles)
00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:09,And who are we to argue?
00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:11,I don't want to argue.
00:05:11,294 --> 00:05:13,I just want
to leave. Ow!
00:05:13,338 --> 00:05:15,FATHER: So, just as Jesus
00:05:15,340 --> 00:05:17,suffered the thorny crown,
00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:19,we must endure the dankness
00:05:19,936 --> 00:05:21,of this place.
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:23,And now,
without further ado,
00:05:23,681 --> 00:05:25,I'd like to turn
the weekend over
00:05:26,017 --> 00:05:28,to our retreat
facilitators,
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,Father Roger
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,and Sister Jane.
00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:35,Hi, everybody!
Hey, everybody!
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:36,BOTH:
And one, two, three.
00:05:36,444 --> 00:05:38,♪ Howdy, neighbor ♪
00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:39,♪ Pleased to meet ya ♪
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,JANE: ♪ Sister Jane ♪
ROGER: ♪ Father Roger ♪
00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:43,BOTH:
♪ We're here to greet ya ♪
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,JANE: ♪ And don't forget
our neighbor above ♪
00:05:45,578 --> 00:05:49,Now I want to go home.
BOTH: ♪ He's gonna wrap us
in a blanket of love ♪
00:05:49,582 --> 00:05:52,♪ A big floppy blanket ♪
00:05:52,877 --> 00:05:56,♪ Of love ♪
00:05:56,172 --> 00:05:57,Whoo!
Yeah!
00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:00,JANE: Thank you.
Thank you.
00:06:00,586 --> 00:06:02,Right back at...
00:00:18,093 --> 00:00:19,BERNIE: Come on,
sweetheart, let's go!
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:22,I g***t your wrap.
We'll be late
for the PTA meeting.
00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:23,Okay, honey.
I'm coming.
00:00:23,298 --> 00:00:25,Look at this.
Isn't this great?
00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:27,Hold this for me.
00:00:27,094 --> 00:00:30,Poetry Slam.
Nessa Tompkins.
00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:32,First prize.
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,She has really g***t
to be proud.
00:00:34,309 --> 00:00:35,You know, I wish
they would just share
00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:37,more things
like that with us.
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:40,Well, baby, things ain't
falling through the cracks.
00:00:40,291 --> 00:00:43,You're busy, I'm busy,
they're busy. Come on.
00:00:44,528 --> 00:00:46,FATHER: On the sixth,
the bloodmobile will be here.
00:00:46,571 --> 00:00:49,And now, once again,
all families are encouraged
00:00:49,282 --> 00:00:51,to attend the annual
parish retreat
00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:52,at the Wandering Glen Lodge.
00:00:52,669 --> 00:00:54,WOMAN (murmuring):
Wandering Glen Lodge?
00:00:57,165 --> 00:00:58,"Wandering Glen
provides a haven
00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,for families
away from the hubbub
00:01:01,586 --> 00:01:03,of daily life."
00:01:04,339 --> 00:01:07,And now, on
with our raffle, Sister.
00:01:07,259 --> 00:01:09,WANDA: Hey, Bernie,
I think the retreat
00:01:09,219 --> 00:01:10,would be a perfect place
for the whole family
00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:12,to get together.
What do you think?
00:01:12,347 --> 00:01:14,I'd rather hook myself
up to the bloodmobile
00:01:14,141 --> 00:01:15,for a whole month.
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:18,Wanda!
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,Baby girl!
Nessa! Jordan!
00:01:20,739 --> 00:01:22,Come on! We're going to do
the Super Bowl shuffle.
00:01:22,699 --> 00:01:26,Come on. I g***t three movies.
Come on, now.
00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:27,Honey, Jordan's
at a sleepover,
00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:28,and Vanessa is
with her friend,
00:01:28,439 --> 00:01:30,and so it's just
the three of us.
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:33,What? I thought
we were going to have
00:01:33,118 --> 00:01:35,a special DVD movie night.
00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:37,Well...
Can I go back
to my room?
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,You might as well.
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:45,(upbeat music playing)
00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:52,See? Now, that's
what I'm talking about.
00:01:53,054 --> 00:01:54,Yeah. I see.
00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,Everybody's just
going their own way.
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:57,I tried, America.
00:01:57,976 --> 00:02:00,I mean, look at this place.
00:02:00,478 --> 00:02:02,It's better than
a real movie theater.
00:02:02,814 --> 00:02:06,We shouldn't have
to force everyone together.
00:02:06,234 --> 00:02:08,Since they're all gone,
00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:10,we might as well
make the best of it.
00:02:10,989 --> 00:02:12,(stray kernels pops)
00:02:16,912 --> 00:02:18,Honey?
Mm-hmm?
00:02:18,413 --> 00:02:21,I think we should go
on that parish retreat.
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,What?
You know, honey, I think
00:02:23,627 --> 00:02:25,it would be good
for the whole family.
00:02:25,795 --> 00:02:28,You know? We'd get to enjoy
the great outdoors,
00:02:28,423 --> 00:02:30,get to play games
and crafts.
00:02:30,926 --> 00:02:33,Except for one thing, Wanda.
00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:35,Bernie Mac don't do retreats.
00:02:37,182 --> 00:02:38,But he does go to bed.
00:02:41,436 --> 00:02:44,Look, America, I want
to tighten this family up
00:02:44,356 --> 00:02:46,as much as Wanda does,
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:48,but singing "Kumbaya"
00:02:48,151 --> 00:02:50,and roasting weenies
in the woods
00:02:50,129 --> 00:02:51,never helped nobody.
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,Just gave them gas.
00:02:53,657 --> 00:02:55,Yes, gas.
00:02:58,495 --> 00:02:59,Wow.
00:03:00,455 --> 00:03:03,That gives me an idea.
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:05,See? This is
what I'm talking about.
00:03:05,627 --> 00:03:06,A beautiful day.
00:03:06,962 --> 00:03:08,Perfect for
a family drive.
00:03:09,047 --> 00:03:10,You don't need no woods.
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:13,All you need is
an open doggone road.
00:03:13,385 --> 00:03:15,That's all we need.
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,** I right, kids?
00:03:17,347 --> 00:03:20,(whimsical music playing)
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:22,(music stops)
00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:23,Hey, what are you doing?
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:26,We have to see if Paulie
the Penguin lives or dies.
00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:29,You know he lives.
You know it.
00:03:29,526 --> 00:03:32,You've seen it
75 hundred thousand times.
00:03:32,237 --> 00:03:34,No more movies,
and no more headphones.
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,That's it.
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:38,(overlapping chatter)
00:03:38,368 --> 00:03:39,BERNIE:
Wanda, I swear to God,
00:03:39,869 --> 00:03:42,I'm going to drive
this car off the cliff,
00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:45,and we're all going
to be in hell together!
00:03:45,375 --> 00:03:47,No, no, no, no, honey.
I know what would help.
00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:49,Keep your eyes
on the road.
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:51,Okay, everybody,
I have a song.
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:52,Here we go.
00:03:52,282 --> 00:03:54,♪ Do your ears hang low ♪
00:03:54,685 --> 00:03:56,♪ Do they wobble to and fro? ♪
00:03:56,094 --> 00:03:57,♪ Can you tie them in a knot ♪
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:58,♪ Can you tie 'em in a bow? ♪
00:03:58,738 --> 00:03:59,♪ Can you throw it
over your shoulder ♪
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:00,♪ Like a Continental soldier? ♪
00:04:00,724 --> 00:04:02,♪ Do your ears hang low? ♪
00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:05,(pipe organ playing)
America, this is crazy.
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:09,Even when we're together,
we're not together.
00:04:09,190 --> 00:04:10,This is beyond the power
00:04:10,442 --> 00:04:12,of Bernie Mac, America.
00:04:12,610 --> 00:04:15,We're going to have
to go one step higher.
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:17,We're calling on You, Lord,
00:04:17,949 --> 00:04:19,at the family retreat.
00:04:19,784 --> 00:04:21,No TV, no radio,
00:04:21,369 --> 00:04:22,no cell phone.
00:04:22,787 --> 00:04:24,Just us and nature,
00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:26,the way You intended it.
00:04:29,127 --> 00:04:32,Great! No TV, no radio,
00:04:32,255 --> 00:04:34,no cell phone,
just us.
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:37,Oh, Lord,
why You forsake me?
00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:49,(thunder rumbling)
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,FATHER:
If I could have your attention?
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:53,(indistinct chatter)
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:57,Welcome to Wandering Glen.
00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:58,I know
you're all expecting
00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:00,a weekend
of fun and frolic
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:02,in the great outdoors,
00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:04,but it seems the Good Lord
had other plans.
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:07,(thunder rumbles)
00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:09,And who are we to argue?
00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:11,I don't want to argue.
00:05:11,294 --> 00:05:13,I just want
to leave. Ow!
00:05:13,338 --> 00:05:15,FATHER: So, just as Jesus
00:05:15,340 --> 00:05:17,suffered the thorny crown,
00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:19,we must endure the dankness
00:05:19,936 --> 00:05:21,of this place.
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:23,And now,
without further ado,
00:05:23,681 --> 00:05:25,I'd like to turn
the weekend over
00:05:26,017 --> 00:05:28,to our retreat
facilitators,
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,Father Roger
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,and Sister Jane.
00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:35,Hi, everybody!
Hey, everybody!
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:36,BOTH:
And one, two, three.
00:05:36,444 --> 00:05:38,♪ Howdy, neighbor ♪
00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:39,♪ Pleased to meet ya ♪
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,JANE: ♪ Sister Jane ♪
ROGER: ♪ Father Roger ♪
00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:43,BOTH:
♪ We're here to greet ya ♪
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,JANE: ♪ And don't forget
our neighbor above ♪
00:05:45,578 --> 00:05:49,Now I want to go home.
BOTH: ♪ He's gonna wrap us
in a blanket of love ♪
00:05:49,582 --> 00:05:52,♪ A big floppy blanket ♪
00:05:52,877 --> 00:05:56,♪ Of love ♪
00:05:56,172 --> 00:05:57,Whoo!
Yeah!
00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:00,JANE: Thank you.
Thank you.
00:06:00,586 --> 00:06:02,Right back at...
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SRT The.Bernie.Mac.Show.S05E10.Some.Church.Bull.1080p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng] subtitles for download in English and multiple languages.