The Bernie Mac Show Pop Pop Goes The Weasel Aac2 0 H 264-squalor S05E08 Subtitles

At 00:00:04,196, Character said: (theme music playing)

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At 00:00:17,518, Character said: (upbeat music playing)

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At 00:00:21,922, Character said: -Uncle Bernie,
can I help you barbecue?
-No, sir. No. Uh-uh.

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At 00:00:25,258, Character said: Aw, you always say no.
When can I help?

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At 00:00:28,020, Character said: When can he help?
When weenies fly.

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At 00:00:30,889, Character said: America, the last time I tried
to teach him to barbecue,

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At 00:00:33,734, Character said: all he wanted to do was stick
his fist in the chicken's butt.

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At 00:00:37,479, Character said: I'm scared to leave him
alone with a link.

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At 00:00:39,406, Character said: Little freak.

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At 00:00:40,774, Character said: Still, every man wants someone

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At 00:00:42,293, Character said: to pass his barbecue secrets
down to, you know?

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At 00:00:44,486, Character said: That's just...
just the way it is.

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At 00:00:47,114, Character said: Okay, son. Tell you
what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna give you a test.

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At 00:00:50,784, Character said: -If you pass this test,
I'll teach you how to barbecue.
-Okay.

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At 00:00:54,287, Character said: Now, I want you
to flip the burgers over.

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At 00:00:57,308, Character said: Not a second too early,
and not a second too late.

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At 00:00:59,000, Character said: You understand me?

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At 00:01:00,311, Character said: But--But how will I know?

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At 00:01:03,755, Character said: Trust the meat.

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At 00:01:05,215, Character said: (grill sizzling)

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At 00:01:35,996, Character said: (clanging)

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At 00:01:41,877, Character said: (groans)

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At 00:01:42,978, Character said: These burgers
are disgusting.

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At 00:01:45,964, Character said: Yeah, they're a
little bit... burnt.

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At 00:01:49,610, Character said: Why y'all looking at me?

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At 00:01:51,344, Character said: Jordan, you wanna
tell them what happened?

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At 00:01:52,855, Character said: I-I didn't trust the meat.

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At 00:01:54,848, Character said: You didn't
trust something.

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At 00:01:59,078, Character said: Hey, hey, hey! You can't go
wasting food, now.

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At 00:02:03,857, Character said: Mmm! These burgers are
mm-mmm good, little man! Mmm!

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At 00:02:09,863, Character said: You cwazy.

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At 00:02:12,207, Character said: Mmm! Oh, thank you,
princess.

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At 00:02:16,912, Character said: (smacking lips)
Mmm!

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At 00:02:19,181, Character said: Gimme another one.

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At 00:02:21,142, Character said: He thinks everything
in my house tastes good.

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At 00:02:23,877, Character said: (imitates chewing food)
'Cause it's free.

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At 00:02:25,688, Character said: Look, America,
I'm glad the man
moved out here

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At 00:02:28,256, Character said: to be close to his daughter,
but I don't think

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At 00:02:30,425, Character said: he counted
on how expensive kids are.

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At 00:02:32,611, Character said: Especially Elizabeth Taylor
over here.

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At 00:02:35,639, Character said: Yeah...
(sighing)

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At 00:02:37,024, Character said: Mm-hmm... yeah...

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At 00:02:38,525, Character said: Already... (stammers)
out of control.

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At 00:02:42,562, Character said: Look out, brother!
They're about to let
a spike strip down.

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At 00:02:45,899, Character said: Swerve!
Swerve!

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At 00:02:47,734, Character said: Ooh!

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At 00:02:49,036, Character said: Oh, man.
Look at that!

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At 00:02:51,154, Character said: They g***t a brother
rollin' on rims.

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At 00:02:52,906, Character said: Ooh, ooh. Oh, okay.
Watch this, watch this.

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At 00:02:55,825, Character said: Look, in a second,

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At 00:02:57,336, Character said: they're gonna find
his stash in his pocket.

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At 00:02:59,120, Character said: How do you know
that, Daddy?

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At 00:03:00,714, Character said: That's because
I'm observant.
You see, me.

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At 00:03:03,250, Character said: I don't miss nothing.
VANESSA:
Bryan?

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At 00:03:05,710, Character said: Yeah?

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At 00:03:06,795, Character said: Do you mind?
What?

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At 00:03:08,355, Character said: If you wanna talk
to the screen,

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At 00:03:10,065, Character said: go down
to the Magic Johnson Theater.

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At 00:03:11,633, Character said: Mmm. My bad.

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At 00:03:14,344, Character said: Can we go to the movies, Daddy?

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At 00:03:16,096, Character said: Naw.

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At 00:03:17,681, Character said: Princess, we can watch
a movie right now.

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At 00:03:19,700, Character said: Okay, now, which one
is the movie button
on the remote?

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At 00:03:22,811, Character said: No, she means she wants to go
to the movie theater.

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At 00:03:26,207, Character said: Where she can get
buttered popcorn and licorice.

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At 00:03:32,654, Character said: Oh, you just want
some popcorn, princes?

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At 00:03:35,323, Character said: I'm pretty sure
Uncle Bernie wouldn't mind
popping us some popcorn.

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At 00:03:39,011, Character said: Uh... Bernie!

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At 00:03:41,847, Character said: Bernie!

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At 00:03:43,290, Character said: BERNIE:
What?

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At 00:03:44,791, Character said: Hey, man, would you mind
popping us some popcorn?

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At 00:03:46,593, Character said: Uh, with extra butter.
Uh, a little salt.

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At 00:03:49,212, Character said: Anything else?
Yeah!

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At 00:03:51,548, Character said: Some of that
cheesy spray,
if you g***t some!

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At 00:03:54,235, Character said: (to himself):
"Some of that cheese spray,
if you g***t it."

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At 00:03:57,238, Character said: Some folks don't know
when to go home. I...

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At 00:04:01,033, Character said: What the...?

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At 00:04:03,184, Character said: Who in the hell
bit off this pear

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At 00:04:05,270, Character said: and put it back in the basket?

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At 00:04:07,647, Character said: Don't make no doggone sense.

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At 00:04:09,983, Character said: Look at this.

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At 00:04:12,628, Character said: Bit the pear,
put it in the basket,

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At 00:04:14,529, Character said: garbage all on the floor...

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At 00:04:17,324, Character said: (sighs)

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At 00:04:18,950, Character said: Animals!

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At 00:04:21,119, Character said: Bunch of doggone animals.
You hear me?

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At 00:04:24,039, Character said: I'm living
with a bunch of animals!

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At 00:04:26,249, Character said: You hear what I said?

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At 00:04:27,584, Character said: A bunch of doggone animals.

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At 00:04:31,171, Character said: Oh, my...
(screams)

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At 00:04:33,965, Character said: Let's go see
what that is.

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At 00:04:35,976, Character said: Hey, hey, hey, Bernie.

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At 00:04:37,677, Character said: Everything cool, man?
What's up?

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At 00:04:38,928, Character said: Look!

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At 00:04:40,497, Character said: WANDA: (gasps)
Ooh, my dear Lord,
what is it?

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At 00:04:42,515, Character said: It's a rat!
It's a possum.

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At 00:04:44,410, Character said: It's ugly.
Hey, hey, we better
get this outta here.

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At 00:04:46,895, Character said: Hey, Bernie,
where's your gat, man?
My what?

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At 00:04:48,747, Character said: Your gun.
Your--Your toolie, man.
Your--Your piece.

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At 00:04:51,691, Character said: Don't tell me
you're livin' this phat

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At 00:04:53,568, Character said: and you ain't g***t no
heat up in the house.

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At 00:04:54,903, Character said: I ain't g***t no gat, fool.
This ain't the ghetto.

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At 00:04:57,405, Character said: Tell that to that big a***s
rat in this kitchen.

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At 00:04:59,699, Character said: This is
a custom-made floor.
You think I'm gonna shoot it up?

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At 00:05:02,077, Character said: Y'all g***t
too much d***n money.

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At 00:05:06,289, Character said: (grunting)

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At 00:05:08,958, Character said: (shuddering)

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At 00:05:12,712, Character said: (door shuts)

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At 00:05:14,339, Character said: Okay, it's gone.

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At 00:05:15,465, Character said: You sure, baby?

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At 00:05:17,050, Character said: -Oh, my goodness.
-What?

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At 00:05:19,436, Character said: My man is scared
of a little bitty
old rat.

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At 00:05:21,388, Character said: I ain't afraid of no rat, man.

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At 00:05:23,390, Character said: It just ca--caught me
by... by surprise.

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At 00:05:26,226, Character said: Oh! Oh, okay.
Uh...

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At 00:05:27,811, Character said: 'Cause it look like
you were scared.

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At 00:05:29,062, Character said: Naw.

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At 00:05:30,605, Character said: Shoot, I'm a man about mine.

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At 00:05:32,232, Character said: Oh, get on
down there, man.

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At 00:05:33,625, Character said: It's all cool.
(chuckling)

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At 00:05:35,535, Character said: There he is!
Watch out! He's behind you!
(cackling)

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At 00:05:38,038, Character said: Quit playing, man.

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At 00:05:39,155, Character said: (squeaking)

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At 00:05:40,990, Character said: I checked your soffits
and your subbasement.

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At 00:05:44,119, Character said: There are no other openings,

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At 00:05:45,537, Character said: so just keep
your patio doors closed,

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At 00:05:47,539, Character said: and that should prevent it
from coming inside again.

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At 00:05:49,624, Character said: Well, what about outside?
Well, you can
always set a trap.

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At 00:05:52,502, Character said: Oh, no.
I don't want to trap it.

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At 00:05:55,088, Character said: Uh... Well, you know
the solution.

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At 00:05:57,465, Character said: Pop, pop.

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At 00:05:58,633, Character said: We're not getting a gun.

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At 00:06:00,510, Character said: Actually, some people do
get BB guns to scare 'em.

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At 00:06:02,637, Character said: BRYAN:
See? See?

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At 00:06:03,596, Character said: And he's an expert.

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At 00:06:04,973, Character said: No gun.
(sighs)

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At 00:06:07,976, Character said: Any alternatives?

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At 00:06:09,569, Character said: Feed it some
of your cooking.
(chuckling)

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At 00:06:13,940, Character said: (sighs) You know,
I can't believe

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At 00:06:16,776, Character said: Animal Control
didn't...