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1 00:00:31,001 --> 00:00:36,001 Subtitles by explosiveskull Resync by GoldenBeard 2 00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:39,106 (SOFT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 3 00:01:00,893 --> 00:01:04,298 (CHILDREN SQUEALING EXCITEDLY) 4 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,944 Brad. 5 00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:20,245 - Bye, Daddy. - Bye, sweetie. 6 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,480 Bye-bye, guys. I'll pick you up on Monday. 7 00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:23,748 - CHILDREN: Brad. - What's up? 8 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,117 Hey, Brad. 9 00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:27,222 Hey, Brad. Looking good, buddy. 10 00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,992 - Dylan, where's your retainer? - I left it at Dad's. 11 00:01:32,994 --> 00:01:34,492 Hey, where's your math workbook? 12 00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:36,528 At Mom's house. 13 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,796 - Where are all your undies? - DYLAN: I don't know. 14 00:01:38,798 --> 00:01:40,632 How do we g***t so many undies? 15 00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:42,200 (ALL CHEERING) 16 00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:43,570 DUSTY: Happy birthday, buddy! 17 00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:46,738 Brad already g***t me one. 18 00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:49,676 - (CHILDREN CHEERING) - It was my idea! It was my idea! 19 00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:52,611 Hey, look at that. 20 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:53,878 Guys. 21 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,115 Daddy. 22 00:01:58,586 --> 00:01:59,587 Oh! 23 00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:02,791 Megan, hold up! 24 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:05,627 Whoa! 25 00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:08,227 Ah! 26 00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:09,564 - Are you all right? - I'm okay. 27 00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:11,398 - (GROANS) - (ALL EXCLAIM) 28 00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:16,538 Right here! Don't leave without it. 29 00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:19,074 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 30 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,343 Come on! Keep it moving! 31 00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:25,544 Inside the cones! 32 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:28,583 Inside the cones like an ice cream. Let's go! 33 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:30,216 Braddie! 34 00:02:30,218 --> 00:02:31,918 Here you go, buddy. 35 00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:33,585 Oh. Thanks, Braddie. 36 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:34,653 - Hot cocoa? - Yeah. 37 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,420 Nice. Little marshmallows floating around there 38 00:02:36,422 --> 00:02:38,590 all in formation. You are the greatest. 39 00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,425 I put a little licorice root in there, too. 40 00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:41,693 - Oh! - Tell me what you think. 41 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:42,995 - DUSTY: Hey, guys. - Daddy! 42 00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:46,532 - Hey. Hi, how was your day? - Good. 43 00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:47,932 BRAD: All right, guys, hop in. 44 00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,801 I'll get them ready and I'll meet you at Tae Kwon Do. 45 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,936 - See you in 30. - Great. Looking forward to it. 46 00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:53,405 - Bye. - CHILDREN: Bye, Dad. 47 00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:55,274 - BRAD: Oh! - (BRAKES SCREECH) 48 00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:56,608 - Dusty. - Yeah? 49 00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:58,509 Sorry. You made treats for tonight, right? 50 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,479 No, I g***t the gift card. I thought you were on treats tonight. 51 00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:04,182 No. I did gift card and the treats for the Halloween Spooktacular. 52 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,717 Okay. Well, I guess I'll hit the bakery 53 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:07,186 - on the way to the pageant. - Bakery? 54 00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:08,486 Unless you don't want me to go to the bakery. 55 00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:09,587 - No... - Usually, when you repeat what I said 56 00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:10,823 and you shake your head up and down, 57 00:03:10,825 --> 00:03:12,123 it really means you don't want me to do it. 58 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,525 - I'm just thinking... - DUSTY: What? 59 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:14,894 - Maybe homemade? - (HORN HONKING) 60 00:03:14,896 --> 00:03:17,530 Yeah. Hey! Honk at him again, you better count your teeth! 61 00:03:17,532 --> 00:03:19,397 No problem, Braddie. Homemade snickerdoodles 62 00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:20,799 coming right up. One for you, too. 63 00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:23,467 Should we fist bump again or would it be awkward? 64 00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:26,071 I don't mind a second bump. All right. 65 00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:27,339 Thanks, buddy. See you tonight. 66 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:28,774 Bye, mate. Thanks so much for the cocoa. 67 00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:29,941 CHILDREN: Bye, Daddy. 68 00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:32,347 - (CRASHES) - Sorry. 69 00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:36,048 - Bye. - Bye. 70 00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:37,752 BRAD: These look great. Thank you. 71 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:39,551 - Look at that. - Oh... 72 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,520 - Daddy! Karen! - Hey! Hey, guys. 73 00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:45,758 Wow, look how s***y Karen looks. 74 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,325 Leather pants and side boob. 75 00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:48,926 That's perfect for a school function. 76 00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:51,730 - Honey, let's expect good things, okay? - I know, you're right. Right. 77 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:54,699 - SARA: Hey. How's it going? - Hey. 78 00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:55,702 - BRAD: Hi. - SARA: Hi. 79 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,069 Wow, look at you guys. 80 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,104 You and Mommy are so sassy all the time. 81 00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:01,272 - KAREN: Hi. - SARA: Hi. 82 00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:03,309 Oh, hey. I g***t your novel. 83 00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:05,645 - It's amazing. - Oh, I'm glad you like it. 84 00:04:05,647 --> 00:04:08,281 SARA: I don't know how you write such powerful dialogue. 85 00:04:08,283 --> 00:04:10,147 - I mean, it must just come naturally, right? - Aw. 86 00:04:10,149 --> 00:04:12,018 - Like everything else. - You're so sweet. 87 00:04:12,020 --> 00:04:13,300 - Are you guys ready? - Let's go. 88 00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:15,920 I want my shirt like Adrianna's. 89 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,489 Uh, no. No, no, no, honey. We're not doing that, okay? 90 00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:20,792 Put that back in. Look like a nice kid. 91 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:23,328 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 92 00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:26,063 PRINCIPAL HAYES: Welcome to the One Horse Open Sing! 93 00:04:26,065 --> 00:04:28,034 Before we get started, notice we have 94 00:04:28,036 --> 00:04:31,669 several professional video and still photographers 95 00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:34,138 to cover all your kids for free. 96 00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:36,342 So you can all put your phones in your pockets, 97 00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:39,176 relax, and just be in the moment. 98 00:04:39,178 --> 00:04:40,779 (DEVICES BEEPING) 99 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,479 You don't care. 100 00:04:42,481 --> 00:04:44,249 ♪ Dashing through the snow 101 00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:46,085 ♪ In a one-horse open sleigh 102 00:04:46,087 --> 00:04:49,989 ♪ O'er the fields we go Laughing all the way, hahaha 103 00:04:49,991 --> 00:04:53,659 ♪ Bells on bobtail ring Making spirits bright 104 00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:55,559 ♪ What fun it is to laugh and sing 105 00:04:55,561 --> 00:04:57,331 ♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪ 106 00:04:58,332 --> 00:05:00,398 ...eat candy Santas and smashed potatoes 107 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,566 and dressing up my dog like a reindeer. 108 00:05:02,568 --> 00:05:04,503 That's what Christmas means to me. 109 00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,705 - Thank you. - (ALL CHEERING) 110 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,743 PRINCIPAL HAYES: And now we have Megan Mayron. 111 00:05:09,775 --> 00:05:11,109 (BEEPING) 112 00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:14,347 My name is Megan Mayron, and I like Christmas presents a lot. 113 00:05:14,349 --> 00:05:16,381 (ALL LAUGHING) 114 00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:19,085 But I don't really like Christmas. 115 00:05:19,087 --> 00:05:21,287 My daddy was at my first Christmases, 116 00:05:21,289 --> 00:05:23,722 but I don't remember those ones. 117 00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:26,260 Then we had some with no daddy at all. 118 00:05:26,926 --> 00:05:27,826 Then Brad came, 119 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,595 but he was always trying way too hard 120 00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:33,332 and making everyone feel uncomfortable. 121 00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:34,498 Then Daddy came back, 122 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:35,900 and Brad did a pretend Christmas 123 00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:38,369 to show Daddy that Brad was better than him. 124 00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:42,340 So now we have to go to different houses to have different Christmases. 125 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,075 Me and my brother wish we were like other families 126 00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,611 and we had normal Christmases. 127 00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:47,580 But we still like our Christmas presents. 128 00:05:47,582 --> 00:05:49,982 I want to be very clear about that. 129 00:05:49,984 --> 00:05:51,183 Thank you very much. 130 00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,387 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) 131 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:55,087 (JERRY LAUGHING) 132 00:05:55,089 --> 00:05:57,388 Enjoy paying for therapy, boys! 133 00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:58,989 You better shut your mouth, Jerry! 134 00:05:58,991 --> 00:06:00,224 Absolutely, Dusty. 135 00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:02,027 (SIGHING) 136 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,929 We're messing up our kids, Brad, and it's on you. 137 00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,164 On me? Why is it on me? 138...
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