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1
00:00:31,001 --> 00:00:36,001
Subtitles by explosiveskull
Resync by GoldenBeard
2
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:39,106
(SOFT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
3
00:01:00,893 --> 00:01:04,298
(CHILDREN SQUEALING EXCITEDLY)
4
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,944
Brad.
5
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:20,245
- Bye, Daddy.
- Bye, sweetie.
6
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,480
Bye-bye, guys.
I'll pick you up on Monday.
7
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:23,748
- CHILDREN: Brad.
- What's up?
8
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,117
Hey, Brad.
9
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:27,222
Hey, Brad.
Looking good, buddy.
10
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,992
- Dylan, where's your retainer?
- I left it at Dad's.
11
00:01:32,994 --> 00:01:34,492
Hey, where's your
math workbook?
12
00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:36,528
At Mom's house.
13
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,796
- Where are all your undies?
- DYLAN: I don't know.
14
00:01:38,798 --> 00:01:40,632
How do we g***t so many undies?
15
00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:42,200
(ALL CHEERING)
16
00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:43,570
DUSTY: Happy birthday, buddy!
17
00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:46,738
Brad already g***t me one.
18
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:49,676
- (CHILDREN CHEERING)
- It was my idea! It was my idea!
19
00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:52,611
Hey, look at that.
20
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:53,878
Guys.
21
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,115
Daddy.
22
00:01:58,586 --> 00:01:59,587
Oh!
23
00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:02,791
Megan, hold up!
24
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:05,627
Whoa!
25
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:08,227
Ah!
26
00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:09,564
- Are you all right?
- I'm okay.
27
00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:11,398
- (GROANS)
- (ALL EXCLAIM)
28
00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:16,538
Right here!
Don't leave without it.
29
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:19,074
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
30
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,343
Come on!
Keep it moving!
31
00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:25,544
Inside the cones!
32
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:28,583
Inside the cones like an ice cream.
Let's go!
33
00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:30,216
Braddie!
34
00:02:30,218 --> 00:02:31,918
Here you go, buddy.
35
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:33,585
Oh. Thanks, Braddie.
36
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:34,653
- Hot cocoa?
- Yeah.
37
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,420
Nice. Little marshmallows
floating around there
38
00:02:36,422 --> 00:02:38,590
all in formation.
You are the greatest.
39
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,425
I put a little licorice root
in there, too.
40
00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:41,693
- Oh!
- Tell me what you think.
41
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:42,995
- DUSTY: Hey, guys.
- Daddy!
42
00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:46,532
- Hey. Hi, how was your day?
- Good.
43
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:47,932
BRAD: All right,
guys, hop in.
44
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,801
I'll get them ready and I'll
meet you at Tae Kwon Do.
45
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,936
- See you in 30.
- Great. Looking forward to it.
46
00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:53,405
- Bye.
- CHILDREN: Bye, Dad.
47
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:55,274
- BRAD: Oh!
- (BRAKES SCREECH)
48
00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:56,608
- Dusty.
- Yeah?
49
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:58,509
Sorry. You made treats for
tonight, right?
50
00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,479
No, I g***t the gift card. I thought
you were on treats tonight.
51
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:04,182
No. I did gift card and the treats
for the Halloween Spooktacular.
52
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,717
Okay. Well,
I guess I'll hit the bakery
53
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:07,186
- on the way to the pageant.
- Bakery?
54
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:08,486
Unless you don't want me
to go to the bakery.
55
00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:09,587
- No...
- Usually, when you repeat what I said
56
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:10,823
and you shake your head
up and down,
57
00:03:10,825 --> 00:03:12,123
it really means
you don't want me to do it.
58
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,525
- I'm just thinking...
- DUSTY: What?
59
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:14,894
- Maybe homemade?
- (HORN HONKING)
60
00:03:14,896 --> 00:03:17,530
Yeah. Hey! Honk at him again,
you better count your teeth!
61
00:03:17,532 --> 00:03:19,397
No problem, Braddie.
Homemade snickerdoodles
62
00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:20,799
coming right up.
One for you, too.
63
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:23,467
Should we fist bump again
or would it be awkward?
64
00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:26,071
I don't mind a second bump.
All right.
65
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:27,339
Thanks, buddy.
See you tonight.
66
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:28,774
Bye, mate. Thanks so
much for the cocoa.
67
00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:29,941
CHILDREN: Bye, Daddy.
68
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:32,347
- (CRASHES)
- Sorry.
69
00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:36,048
- Bye.
- Bye.
70
00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:37,752
BRAD: These look great.
Thank you.
71
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:39,551
- Look at that.
- Oh...
72
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,520
- Daddy! Karen!
- Hey! Hey, guys.
73
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:45,758
Wow, look how s***y
Karen looks.
74
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,325
Leather pants and side boob.
75
00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:48,926
That's perfect
for a school function.
76
00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:51,730
- Honey, let's expect good things, okay?
- I know, you're right. Right.
77
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:54,699
- SARA: Hey. How's it going?
- Hey.
78
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:55,702
- BRAD: Hi.
- SARA: Hi.
79
00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,069
Wow, look at you guys.
80
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,104
You and Mommy are
so sassy all the time.
81
00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:01,272
- KAREN: Hi.
- SARA: Hi.
82
00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:03,309
Oh, hey. I g***t your novel.
83
00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:05,645
- It's amazing.
- Oh, I'm glad you like it.
84
00:04:05,647 --> 00:04:08,281
SARA: I don't know how you write
such powerful dialogue.
85
00:04:08,283 --> 00:04:10,147
- I mean, it must just come naturally, right?
- Aw.
86
00:04:10,149 --> 00:04:12,018
- Like everything else.
- You're so sweet.
87
00:04:12,020 --> 00:04:13,300
- Are you guys ready?
- Let's go.
88
00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:15,920
I want my shirt
like Adrianna's.
89
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,489
Uh, no. No, no, no, honey.
We're not doing that, okay?
90
00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:20,792
Put that back in.
Look like a nice kid.
91
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:23,328
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
92
00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:26,063
PRINCIPAL HAYES: Welcome to
the One Horse Open Sing!
93
00:04:26,065 --> 00:04:28,034
Before we get started,
notice we have
94
00:04:28,036 --> 00:04:31,669
several professional video
and still photographers
95
00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:34,138
to cover all your kids
for free.
96
00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:36,342
So you can all put your phones
in your pockets,
97
00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:39,176
relax, and just
be in the moment.
98
00:04:39,178 --> 00:04:40,779
(DEVICES BEEPING)
99
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,479
You don't care.
100
00:04:42,481 --> 00:04:44,249
♪ Dashing through the snow
101
00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:46,085
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh
102
00:04:46,087 --> 00:04:49,989
♪ O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way, hahaha
103
00:04:49,991 --> 00:04:53,659
♪ Bells on bobtail ring
Making spirits bright
104
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:55,559
♪ What fun it is
to laugh and sing
105
00:04:55,561 --> 00:04:57,331
♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪
106
00:04:58,332 --> 00:05:00,398
...eat candy Santas
and smashed potatoes
107
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,566
and dressing up my dog
like a reindeer.
108
00:05:02,568 --> 00:05:04,503
That's what
Christmas means to me.
109
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,705
- Thank you.
- (ALL CHEERING)
110
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,743
PRINCIPAL HAYES:
And now we have Megan Mayron.
111
00:05:09,775 --> 00:05:11,109
(BEEPING)
112
00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:14,347
My name is Megan Mayron, and I
like Christmas presents a lot.
113
00:05:14,349 --> 00:05:16,381
(ALL LAUGHING)
114
00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:19,085
But I don't really
like Christmas.
115
00:05:19,087 --> 00:05:21,287
My daddy was at my first
Christmases,
116
00:05:21,289 --> 00:05:23,722
but I don't remember those ones.
117
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:26,260
Then we had some
with no daddy at all.
118
00:05:26,926 --> 00:05:27,826
Then Brad came,
119
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,595
but he was always
trying way too hard
120
00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:33,332
and making everyone feel
uncomfortable.
121
00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:34,498
Then Daddy came back,
122
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:35,900
and Brad did a pretend Christmas
123
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:38,369
to show Daddy that Brad
was better than him.
124
00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:42,340
So now we have to go to different
houses to have different Christmases.
125
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,075
Me and my brother wish
we were like other families
126
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,611
and we had normal Christmases.
127
00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:47,580
But we still like
our Christmas presents.
128
00:05:47,582 --> 00:05:49,982
I want to be very clear
about that.
129
00:05:49,984 --> 00:05:51,183
Thank you very much.
130
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,387
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
131
00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:55,087
(JERRY LAUGHING)
132
00:05:55,089 --> 00:05:57,388
Enjoy paying for therapy, boys!
133
00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:58,989
You better shut your mouth,
Jerry!
134
00:05:58,991 --> 00:06:00,224
Absolutely, Dusty.
135
00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:02,027
(SIGHING)
136
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,929
We're messing up our kids,
Brad, and it's on you.
137
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,164
On me? Why is it on me?
138...
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