Tusk Limite64-geckos (2014) Subtitles

At 00:00:33,492, Character said: I'm gonna-
I'm gonna fuckin' piss my pants.

2
At 00:00:39,540, Character said: Hey, if you wanna watch this video,
please go to our Web site-

3
At 00:00:42,209, Character said: Not-SeeParty.com.

4
At 00:00:44,127, Character said: - N-O-T-
- S-E-E.

5
At 00:00:46,296, Character said: Not Nazi with a “Z.”

6
At 00:00:48,048, Character said: That'd be like a cross-dressing
Adolph Eichmann-Liza Minnelli impersonator.

7
At 00:00:51,426, Character said: If I die of laughter during this segment,
I don't want you to feel bad.

8
At 00:00:54,930, Character said: I want you all to know that I died happy,
because this video is the greatest thing ever.

9
At 00:00:58,767, Character said: You seen how many hits he has?
It's up to, like, 30-something million.

10
At 00:01:01,770, Character said: Here we- Here we go.

11
At 00:01:45,814, Character said: - S***t. Oh!
- What the f***k?

12
At 00:01:48,442, Character said: I'm gonna talk to this kid about everything.

13
At 00:01:50,152, Character said: I wanna know what he masturbates to.

14
At 00:01:52,029, Character said: I wanna know if he kept the leg!
Did he keep the leg?

15
At 00:01:54,698, Character said: I gotta say though, man,
I've watched this video enough...

16
At 00:01:56,658, Character said: I'm starting to feel bad for the kid. I'm not
laughed out yet, but I'm feelin' bad for him.

17
At 00:02:00,287, Character said: Feeling bad? The kid's g***t tons of hits!

18
At 00:02:02,289, Character said: 'Cause he's famous, right? I mean, what more
do you want? He's g***t more hits than I do.

19
At 00:02:06,043, Character said: I'm kinda in a weird way jealous. I don't
need both legs. I'm not running marathons.

20
At 00:02:09,838, Character said: So look out, you crazy Canucks.

21
At 00:02:11,340, Character said: Something weird-a***s this way comes.

22
At 00:02:13,175, Character said: Next week, wandering Wallace
takes a raunchy road trip...

23
At 00:02:15,677, Character said: up to the Great White North
to meet with a star.

24
At 00:02:18,472, Character said: My only hope is that
he doesn't cry too much.

25
At 00:02:20,557, Character said: Join us next week while Wallace sits down
with the, uh, one-legged wonder...

26
At 00:02:24,853, Character said: the master of self-mutilation,
of Internet humiliation, the Kill Bill Kid.

27
At 00:02:29,191, Character said: Which is about all you can do
if you're the Kill Bill Kid-

28
At 00:02:31,568, Character said: You just sit your one-legged a***s
down forever.

29
At 00:02:33,904, Character said: - Oh!
- It was too easy! It was right there!

30
At 00:02:35,781, Character said: - You're goin' to hell, man.
- They're like plums, like low-hangin' plums.

31
At 00:02:38,700, Character said: - I had to grab it.
- Until next time, I'm Teddy Craft.

32
At 00:02:41,036, Character said: And this is Wallace Bryton,
reminding you to...

33
At 00:02:43,830, Character said: join the Not-See Party.

34
At 00:02:59,680, Character said: Welcome to Canada.

35
At 00:03:01,431, Character said: Yo.

36
At 00:03:04,309, Character said: Hey there.

37
At 00:03:05,894, Character said: Hey there, yourself, uh,
fellow facial hair aficionado.

38
At 00:03:08,939, Character said: Yeah, not as good as you. My God.

39
At 00:03:11,024, Character said: - New Jersey, eh?
- Yeah, years back.

40
At 00:03:13,026, Character said: Now it's, uh, “Los Angle-eez.”

41
At 00:03:15,487, Character said: A man torn betwixt devils and kings.

42
At 00:03:20,617, Character said: - Oh! Hockey.
- Yeah, you're d***n right, hockey.

43
At 00:03:24,579, Character said: Mmm. Don't really follow hockey.

44
At 00:03:27,874, Character said: Okay. Hands off the counter, please.

45
At 00:03:31,378, Character said: - Really?
- Yeah, really. Thank you.

46
At 00:03:33,797, Character said: - Sorry.
- “Sore-y."

47
At 00:03:35,215, Character said: - “Sore-y.”
- “Sore-y."

48
At 00:03:37,050, Character said: “Sore-y.”

49
At 00:03:38,051, Character said: When you're visiting
the Great White North of Canada...

50
At 00:03:40,345, Character said: you g***t your Sana-dos,
and you g***t your Cana-don'ts.

51
At 00:03:43,724, Character said: Top shelf, right there, number one:

52
At 00:03:45,642, Character said: Don't go tellin' a Canadian
you don't follow hockey.

53
At 00:03:48,854, Character said: Of course. I should have known that.
Makes 'em sad, right?

54
At 00:03:51,022, Character said: A Canadian doesn't get sad.

55
At 00:03:52,816, Character said: Sadness was made by the USA.

56
At 00:03:54,776, Character said: - Oh, come on. What does that mean?
- Take off! It's true!

57
At 00:03:57,612, Character said: Right there on our flag.

58
At 00:03:59,364, Character said: It's right there when you look at it,
and you see past that sacred maple leaf.

59
At 00:04:02,451, Character said: - You know what you've seen?
- A white wall.

60
At 00:04:04,619, Character said: You see that in America...

61
At 00:04:06,663, Character said: you may be red, white and blue.

62
At 00:04:08,582, Character said: But in Canada, you're red,
white, but never blue, eh?

63
At 00:04:13,253, Character said: - Ever.
- Gotcha.

64
At 00:04:15,088, Character said: That's actually-
I've never thought of it that way before.

65
At 00:04:17,424, Character said: I always think of Canadians as just nice.

66
At 00:04:19,426, Character said: Well, that right there
is another Cana-don't.

67
At 00:04:21,511, Character said: We're not nice, we're optimistic.
There's a difference.

68
At 00:04:23,472, Character said: - Right.
- And we're tolerant.

69
At 00:04:25,265, Character said: - Mmm.
- And we're hung like moose.

70
At 00:04:28,018, Character said: Oh.

71
At 00:04:32,981, Character said: That's good.

72
At 00:04:36,234, Character said: Back to business then.
What are you doing in Manitoba?

73
At 00:04:39,362, Character said: Um, I'm, uh- I'm recording a podcast.

74
At 00:04:41,907, Character said: So what I do is I-l, uh-
I travel around...

75
At 00:04:45,452, Character said: and I interview weird
or interesting people...

76
At 00:04:48,288, Character said: and I describe it to my best friend...

77
At 00:04:50,165, Character said: who does not see it firsthand...

78
At 00:04:53,126, Character said: since he won't fly anywhere.

79
At 00:04:54,711, Character said: - It's call the Not-See Party.
- Whoa, whoa. The Nazi Party?

80
At 00:04:58,089, Character said: Oh, no, it's- it's spelled N-O-T-S-E-E.

81
At 00:05:01,676, Character said: Not the other... hatey one. You know?

82
At 00:05:04,638, Character said: - That was Hitler.
- You don't say “Hitler” in an airport.

83
At 00:05:18,777, Character said: All right.

84
At 00:05:39,297, Character said: What the f***k is this?

85
At 00:06:06,283, Character said: Hey.

86
At 00:06:08,994, Character said: S***t.

87
At 00:06:20,213, Character said: Oh, f***k.

88
At 00:06:29,681, Character said: Hey, f***r. Are you ready for this?

89
At 00:06:32,934, Character said: Fuckin' Kill Bill Kid
f***g killed himself, sir...

90
At 00:06:37,480, Character said: with his own fuckin' sword.

91
At 00:06:39,065, Character said: You believe that s***t?
I ** not f***g kidding you.

92
At 00:06:43,194, Character said: Couldn't hold out for two more days,
selfish little peg-leg piece of s***t.

93
At 00:06:46,740, Character said: I'm so pissed off right now.
I gotta find a flight back tonight.

94
At 00:06:49,451, Character said: I'm thinkin' I don't want
to come all the way back with nothin'.

95
At 00:06:51,536, Character said: We need a show this week, so...

96
At 00:06:53,455, Character said: I'm in fuckin' Winnipeg in a bar...

97
At 00:06:56,291, Character said: called, uh, Bar H.

98
At 00:07:00,170, Character said: I don't know what the f***k I'm gonna do.

99
At 00:07:02,422, Character said: Try to find some other Canadian weirdo
up here I can talk to, but-

100
At 00:07:06,468, Character said: I gotta be honest, man.
There is nothin' weird about Canada.

101
At 00:07:10,305, Character said: It is painfully boring up here.

102
At 00:07:13,475, Character said: But, s***t, $550 for
a fuckin' plane ticket.

103
At 00:07:17,812, Character said: Selfish little prick.

104
At 00:07:19,898, Character said: I know it's f***d up to say,
but, goddamn it, it's killin' me.

105
At 00:07:24,152, Character said: All right.

106
At 00:07:26,029, Character said: Signin' off from the Great White North.

107
At 00:07:32,619, Character said: Oh, s***t. Beep.

108
At 00:07:35,538, Character said: Hey, man, where's your bathroom?

109
At 00:07:59,229, Character said: Hello. I'm an old man...

110
At 00:08:01,398, Character said: who has enjoyed a long
and storied life at sea.

111
At 00:08:04,401, Character said: I'm a proud Canadian who has traveled
a peculiar path lo these many years.

112
At 00:08:09,489, Character said: And after aeons of oceanic adventure,
I find myself a landlubber...

113
At 00:08:14,995, Character said: with Manitoba as my final port.

114
At 00:08:17,789, Character said: I know I do not wish to spend
my remaining years alone in a giant house- - .

115
At 00:08:23,294, Character said: not when I have such stories to share.

116
At 00:08:30,135, Character said: No, it's-it's not the room I'm interested in,
as much as you, Mr. Howe.

117
At 00:08:34,139, Character said: Yeah- Tonight would be-
That'd be amazing, sir.

118
At 00:08:36,683, Character said: Yes, thank you.
Uh, where ** I going?

119
At 00:08:39,519, Character said: Bifrost? Sounds e***c.

120
At 00:08:43,231, Character said: Okay, let me just ask somebody
how far I **.

121
At 00:08:45,525, Character said: Excuse me. Hey, uh-

122
At 00:08:47,777, Character said: Uh, how far is Bifrost from here?

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