The Brady Bunch Movie (1995) Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:01,135 --> 00:00:11,379 Captioning sponsored by PARAMOUNT PICTURES 2 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:16,717 Captioning sponsored by PARAMOUNT PICTURES 3 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:24,125 * Here, there's hills of desert cheap wine * 4 00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:31,532 * Here, there's psychic mocha hotline * 5 00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:34,335 * I'm feeling nothing 6 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:37,305 * It feels fine 7 00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:41,242 * I'm feeling nothing 8 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:51,685 * Mo... jo 9 00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:56,224 * Mojo in the sunshine 10 00:00:56,257 --> 00:01:00,328 * Mud slide 11 00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:04,298 * Free-range chocolate shoeshine * 12 00:01:04,332 --> 00:01:07,501 * I'm feeling nothing 13 00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:10,438 * It feels fine 14 00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:13,307 * I'm feeling nothing 15 00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:15,709 * For all to shine. 16 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:18,746 ( siren blaring ) 17 00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:22,250 MAN: Well, that's what's brilliant about you, Mr. Feldman. 18 00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:24,318 No one else would have thought of building 19 00:01:24,352 --> 00:01:25,753 a residential mini-mall. 20 00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:28,122 Now that I've g***t everyone else on the block 21 00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:29,590 to agree to your offer, I think we're... 22 00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:32,393 It's g***t to be everyone on the block-- everyone-- 23 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,128 or the deal's off. 24 00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:36,130 Oh, we're headed into the canyon. 25 00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:37,265 I think I'm losing you. 26 00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:38,599 Mr. Feldman. 27 00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,268 Cut the crap, Dittmeyer. 28 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:42,603 Did you get everyone or not? 29 00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:45,273 Well, there's this one family that's holding out. 30 00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:46,607 Then sweeten the deal. 31 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:47,608 Up the offer. 32 00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,143 It's not that simple. 33 00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:51,445 It's like they're not interested in money. 34 00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:53,347 It's like they're not normal. 35 00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:54,682 Why the hell not? 36 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,884 What's their story? 37 00:01:56,917 --> 00:02:00,788 * Here's the story of a lovely lady * 38 00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:05,159 * Who was bringing up three very lovely girls * 39 00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:09,630 * All of them had hair of gold like their mother * 40 00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:12,300 * The youngest one in curls 41 00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:16,337 * It's a story of a man named Brady * 42 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:19,640 * Who was busy with three boys of his own * 43 00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:23,811 * They were four men living all together * 44 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:27,448 * Yet they were all alone 45 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:30,684 * Till the one day when the lady met this fellow * 46 00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:34,355 * And they knew that it was much more than a hunch * 47 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:38,326 * That this group must somehow form a family * 48 00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:41,462 * That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch * 49 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:44,198 * The Brady Bunch 50 00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:46,267 * The Brady Bunch 51 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:50,838 * That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. * 52 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:00,448 ( sighs ) 53 00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:13,494 ( heavy metal music playing ) 54 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,329 ( grunts ) 55 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,233 Don't worry about me. 56 00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:21,302 I'm okay. 57 00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:23,504 Morning, Mrs. Brady. 58 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:24,605 Oh, thanks, Alice. 59 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:25,673 Morning, Alice. 60 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,208 Careful, Mr. Brady. Don't bend over. 61 00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:31,545 We've gotten 62 00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,714 the Dittmeyers' mail again, sweetheart. 63 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,516 You'd think, after all these years 64 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,251 they'd know who lives where. 65 00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:40,421 Well, I always know where to deliver my mail. 66 00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:41,355 Mr. Brady... 67 00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:43,357 ( lisping ): Mommy, Marcia's been 68 00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:45,426 in the bathroom for a super-long time. 69 00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:46,727 Now, Cindy, we've told you before-- 70 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,429 no one likes a tattletale. 71 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:50,030 But, Daddy... 72 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,365 Your father's right, sweetheart. 73 00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:52,366 Why don't you 74 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:53,567 help Alice make some cookies? 75 00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:54,702 Okay, Mommy. 76 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,037 But can my doll help, too? 77 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:59,039 As long as it's not Betsy Wetsy. 78 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,709 She makes my cookies soggy woggy. 79 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:02,910 Oh, Alice. 80 00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:05,613 Mmm. 81 00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:08,982 4,998... 82 00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:10,751 Come on, Marcia, open up. 83 00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,420 I've g***t to shave. 84 00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:15,055 4,999... 85 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:18,426 Gosh, Marcia, there are other people in this family 86 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:19,593 besides you. 87 00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:21,929 5,000. 88 00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:23,431 JAN: Come on, Marcia. 89 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:26,934 Doug Simpson's sure to notice me today. 90 00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:28,602 All finished. 91 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:29,603 Finally. 92 00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:30,938 Greg. 93 00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:33,607 Jan, you're just going to have to wait your turn. 94 00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:35,409 It's never my turn. 95 00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:46,587 Jan, did you move my trophies? 96 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:49,323 Yes. I couldn't look in the mirror 97 00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:53,093 without seeing the awards of the great Marcia Brady. 98 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,796 ( clears throat ) 99 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:58,966 I believe these are my white kneesocks. 100 00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:01,935 Not everything in this room is yours. 101 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:11,044 See, Jan? I told you they were mine. 102 00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:13,647 Now, put them back, and don't forget to close 103 00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:14,982 the drawer when you're done. 104 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,486 She has every right to be mad. 105 00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,654 They are her socks. 106 00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:23,991 But why does Marcia get all the socks? 107 00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:26,660 Why does Marcia get all the trophies? 108 00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:30,598 Why does Marcia get all the good drawers? 109 00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:33,734 Yeah. Why does Marcia get everything? 110 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,771 Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. 111 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:42,610 It's closed! 112 00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:45,012 Come on, Greg. Hurry up. 113 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,681 ( voice cracking ): Boy, he's worse than Marcia. 114 00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:49,383 Hmm. 115 00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,852 Hey, what's wrong with your voice? 116 00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:54,855 Well, my libido is increasing at a rapid rate 117 00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,524 and the surge of hormones 118 00:05:56,557 --> 00:06:00,394 causes dramatic physical and emotional changes. 119 00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:04,164 Well, that's what Miss Lynley told us in health class. 120 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,866 Finally. 121 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,568 Yeah. 122 00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:10,738 Well, you kids have no idea what it takes to impress a chick. 123 00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:12,540 Maybe, someday, when you're older 124 00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,842 you'll get hip to what it's like being a man. 125 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,578 Good news, Greg. 126 00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:20,414 I'm putting on your favorite Scooby Doo bedsheets. 127 00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:21,549 ( laughing ) 128 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:24,017 Scooby Dooby doo! 129 00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:29,089 Honey, I think you've stirred that enough. 130 00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:30,491 I'm not stirring. 131 00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:34,562 I'm looking for Kitty Carryall's underpants. 132 00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:35,896 I tell you what. 133 00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:37,898 Why don't I take over the cookies, 134 00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:40,434 and you run these letters to the Dittmeyers 135 00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:43,170 and see if they've gotten any of our mail by mistake. 136 00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:44,538 Okay, Mommy. 137 00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:01,822 ( siren blaring ) 138 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,056 Missy, 139 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,025 get your butt-ugly face down here! 140 00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:06,994 Hello, Eric. Are your parents home? 141 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:09,497 Blow off, cheeseball. 142 00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:12,032 Missy! 143 00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:15,469 Shut up before you have a toxic dump. 144 00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:16,504 Hello, Missy. 145 00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:18,138 How's your science project coming? 146 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,206 I finished mine. 147 00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:21,208 What are you going to do? 148 00:07:21,241 -->...