Nightmare Weekend (1986) Subtitles

At 00:00:02,000, Character said: This programme contains
some strong language

2
At 00:00:04,280, Character said: ♪ My heart is broken,
like an egg on the floor

3
At 00:00:06,160, Character said: ♪ If I wasn't such a grown-up
then I'd call you a w***e

4
At 00:00:10,440, Character said: ♪ You are my personal salmonella

5
At 00:00:14,600, Character said: ♪ Going off on holiday
and having s***x with Trevor

6
At 00:00:19,040, Character said: "# She's the egg-smashing woman"
ALL LAUGH

7
At 00:00:22,800, Character said: "# Egg-smashing..."
I was 16. I was in a bad place.

8
At 00:00:26,280, Character said: Why don't you take it down? I forgot
my password and security question.

9
At 00:00:30,520, Character said: I mean, Jesus,
what is my favourite place?

10
At 00:00:32,880, Character said: Judging by that, another
dude's arse. Shut up, Mitchell!

11
At 00:00:36,440, Character said: Sir, can we watch my video now?
What's it called?

12
At 00:00:38,920, Character said: One girl, ten cups.
Oh, god, Chantelle.

13
At 00:00:41,560, Character said: What? It's just me
doing the washing-up. Oh.

14
At 00:00:44,520, Character said: Greetings and salutations. David
Millbank. I was just wondering

15
At 00:00:48,440, Character said: if I can count on your vote for
this forthcoming school election.

16
At 00:00:52,200, Character said: Um, go away. We're working.

17
At 00:00:55,160, Character said: Now, who did you vote for last year?

18
At 00:00:58,000, Character said: Little Mix.

19
At 00:01:00,040, Character said: Ah, the X Factor, yes.

20
At 00:01:01,920, Character said: Look, I love music.
I'm a big fan of The Coldplay,

21
At 00:01:06,560, Character said: Jay Zed and Olly Murs feat...
Rizzle Sticks.

22
At 00:01:10,960, Character said: Here, Sir, do you want to see
an old guy singing with his nutsack?

23
At 00:01:14,240, Character said: Mitchell, why would I want to see
an old man singing with his...?

24
At 00:01:17,480, Character said: MUSIC: "Sledgehammer"
by Peter Gabriel

25
At 00:01:19,560, Character said: Oh, my god! Is that...?

26
At 00:01:20,760, Character said: Oh, I've g***t to send this to Fraser.
He loves Peter Gabriel.

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At 00:01:24,760, Character said: COMPUTER BOINGS

28
At 00:01:28,280, Character said: "# I'll be anything you need"

29
At 00:01:30,640, Character said: Goodness, Peter Gabriel's aged.

30
At 00:01:33,560, Character said: "# You could have a big dipper"

31
At 00:01:36,080, Character said: Oh, Jesus.

32
At 00:01:38,080, Character said: "# Going up and down
all around the bends"

33
At 00:01:41,080, Character said: OK, there's nothing to see here,
guys. Can you just get on?

34
At 00:01:44,080, Character said: Put the phone away. Question ten's
good. Get on with it. It's chicken.

35
At 00:01:49,360, Character said: ♪ This amusement never ends

36
At 00:01:54,160, Character said: ♪ I wanna be

37
At 00:01:57,960, Character said: ♪ Your sledgehammer

38
At 00:02:01,360, Character said: ♪ Why don't you call my name?

39
At 00:02:05,760, Character said: ♪ Oh! Let me be your sledgehammer

40
At 00:02:11,840, Character said: ♪ This will be my testimony

41
At 00:02:15,320, Character said: ♪ Sledge

42
At 00:02:17,040, Character said: ♪ Sledge

43
At 00:02:20,560, Character said: This is the dawn of a new age.

44
At 00:02:24,000, Character said: Now, by now you're all be aware
that a video of our headmaster

45
At 00:02:27,440, Character said: showing children images
of a geriatric man

46
At 00:02:30,080, Character said: manipulating his scrotum to song
has gone viral.

47
At 00:02:33,080, Character said: He's been asked to remain
off the school grounds

48
At 00:02:35,520, Character said: pending a review by the Educational
Authority Disciplinary Board.

49
At 00:02:39,200, Character said: In the interim, I shall rule.
Bullshit.

50
At 00:02:43,400, Character said: Surely the most senior member
of staff should be headmistress?

51
At 00:02:46,600, Character said: Mollinson has been here since,
like, the swinging '60s.

52
At 00:02:50,160, Character said: The swinging '70s and '80s.

53
At 00:02:53,360, Character said: The '90s were a bit dry,
thanks to my hip replacement.

54
At 00:02:57,480, Character said: Now, given the disastrous example
set by our ex-headmaster,

55
At 00:03:01,360, Character said: we have to get our house in order.
What do you mean, "house in order"?

56
At 00:03:05,280, Character said: To start, I'm not having you turn
this place into a hippy commune.

57
At 00:03:09,360, Character said: That ludicrous garden of yours.
The one I built as a memorial
to my late brother, Freddie?

58
At 00:03:13,840, Character said: I need a new parking space.
Could it fit a Hummer?

59
At 00:03:16,880, Character said: And take this school election,
always an absolute shambles.

60
At 00:03:20,840, Character said: Oh, is it? I don't believe
in elections. Course you don't.

61
At 00:03:25,080, Character said: But we are going to show the board
that we can get something right.

62
At 00:03:28,400, Character said: Which means, Wickers,
you can sit this one out.

63
At 00:03:31,040, Character said: BLOWS A RASPBERRY
Bothered?

64
At 00:03:33,040, Character said: This election
will run like clockwork.

65
At 00:03:35,120, Character said: That way, I will show the board
that I ** the right man
for the job on a permanent basis.

66
At 00:03:39,880, Character said: No-one wants you in charge. You're
like the stepmum in Parent Trap.

67
At 00:03:43,400, Character said: With me in power,
this school will improve, expand.

68
At 00:03:47,520, Character said: The pupils will be
better, stronger...

69
At 00:03:52,600, Character said: purer.

70
At 00:03:54,840, Character said: Almost like a super race?
Yes. Amazing.

71
At 00:03:58,960, Character said: I have to deal with
that troublesome Fletchley boy.

72
At 00:04:01,600, Character said: His parents are demanding
compensation for some
javelin accident.

73
At 00:04:05,080, Character said: So I'm expelling him.
On what grounds?

74
At 00:04:08,200, Character said: For having marijuana in his locker.
How do you know that?

75
At 00:04:11,480, Character said: I put it there.

76
At 00:04:12,840, Character said: I need a smoke.

77
At 00:04:15,160, Character said: Yeah, me too.
You don't smoke.

78
At 00:04:17,640, Character said: Yeah, sure I do...
you know, like, when I'm stressed.

79
At 00:04:23,280, Character said: ♪ Oh! After the rain

80
At 00:04:25,920, Character said: ♪ We forget, we make sure we gain,
then we leave it

81
At 00:04:30,320, Character said: ♪ Cos we're a nation
of forgetters. ♪

82
At 00:04:33,040, Character said: Fraser is screwed.

83
At 00:04:35,480, Character said: COUGHS

84
At 00:04:37,920, Character said: That's some good s***t.
Do you want to do blowback?

85
At 00:04:41,200, Character said: It's a cigarette, Alfie,
it's not pot.

86
At 00:04:44,000, Character said: Yeah, sorry.

87
At 00:04:47,720, Character said: Can you imagine Pickwell
as headmistress?

88
At 00:04:50,080, Character said: I'm not letting her
near Freddie's tree.

89
At 00:04:53,920, Character said: You heard the way she was talking.

90
At 00:04:55,920, Character said: She'll have Jewish kids
in separate classes.

91
At 00:04:57,920, Character said: In five years, we'll be telling
the disciplinary board

92
At 00:05:00,400, Character said: we were only following orders.

93
At 00:05:01,800, Character said: She could sack us!
Then what would you do as a living?

94
At 00:05:05,760, Character said: Go back to B&Q. I kept the uniform.

95
At 00:05:08,240, Character said: And staff get 13% off decking.
So, win-win.

96
At 00:05:11,160, Character said: You'll have to make an effort with
her. Are you entering this election?

97
At 00:05:15,000, Character said: She told me not to.

98
At 00:05:16,200, Character said: Anyway, this whole
school election thing is bullshit.

99
At 00:05:19,280, Character said: Only because of the last time
your kids g***t involved in politics.

100
At 00:05:22,640, Character said: Not this again.
Rem Dogg g***t stage fright.

101
At 00:05:25,760, Character said: Well, hello, young chap.
What's your ambition in life, eh?

102
At 00:05:30,760, Character said: A***l.

103
At 00:05:32,760, Character said: What? Um...

104
At 00:05:37,160, Character said: Everyone knows school politics
is just for losers like Millbank.

105
At 00:05:41,160, Character said: You know he came to my class this
morning asking for our votes? And?

106
At 00:05:44,760, Character said: I told him to piss off.
You do know he's my candidate?

107
At 00:05:47,600, Character said: COUGHS
Great guy.

108
At 00:05:49,880, Character said: I bet you think it's cool to say
you're not "into" politics.

109
At 00:05:52,600, Character said: Now you're sounding really old.
Have you ever voted?

110
At 00:05:55,280, Character said: No. No. I don't need to, because
my dad does my postal vote for me.

111
At 00:06:00,080, Character said: Oh, god.

112
At 00:06:01,440, Character said: Winning the election would be
a piece of piss. I can't be bothered.

113
At 00:06:05,040, Character said: Because you're afraid of losing.
Losing? My class would rape Millbank.

114
At 00:06:09,800, Character said: Your class? Special K? Please.
Don't bring the children into this.

115
At 00:06:14,720, Character said: Pathetic. Right, I'm going back to
help my "loser" win this election.

116
At 00:06:19,920, Character said: Well, I ** going to the canteen

117
At 00:06:22,720, Character said: because I have g***t the munchies.

118
At 00:06:29,360, Character said: Right, class.
We've g***t an election to win!

119
At 00:06:33,480, Character said: Who wants to stand?

120
At 00:06:37,000, Character said: Look, I've seen the other candidates

121