House.of.fools.S01E07.TASTETV.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO Subtitles

At 00:00:00,000, Character said: WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

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At 00:00:00,000, Character said: Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.

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At 00:00:13,171, Character said: # It's Christmas time
In this house of mine

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At 00:00:16,169, Character said: # I hope it's wearing
Some trousers...

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At 00:00:18,221, Character said: # The years go by
And you don't understand

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At 00:00:20,213, Character said: # I've been stood
In a chestnut brazier

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At 00:00:23,189, Character said: # You've been stood
in a chestnut brazier?

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At 00:00:25,221, Character said: # I've been stood
In a chestnut brazier

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At 00:00:28,157, Character said: ♪ On the banks of the River Tee... ♪

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At 00:00:33,069, Character said: The River Tee!

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At 00:00:34,099, Character said: Step into Christmas with those
bulbous Teesside chestnuts. Yeah.

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At 00:00:38,450, Character said: Oh, I tell you what, Vic,
wearing these Christmas party suits,

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At 00:00:41,466, Character said: it reminds me of non-uniform day,
remember?

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At 00:00:44,422, Character said: Yeah, do you remember at school?

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At 00:00:46,426, Character said: When it was non-uniform day
and we turned up starkers?

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At 00:00:48,462, Character said: Remember that?

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At 00:00:50,426, Character said: We weren't to know, were we?
But it doesn't matter.

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At 00:00:52,442, Character said: Doesn't really matter...
They couldn't say it mattered.
Not when we're happy.

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At 00:00:55,478, Character said: Yeah, of course, no, I do remember,
and they sacked you, which was,

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At 00:00:58,482, Character said: I thought was strange.

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At 00:01:01,446, Character said: Because, you know, you WERE
the biology teacher, weren't you?

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At 00:01:05,414, Character said: Mind you, Vic, tonight... Eh?
..you look REALLY sophisticated.

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At 00:01:08,458, Character said: I ** sophisticated, aren't I? Really...
Look, see that, look, ask me who I **.

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At 00:01:12,458, Character said: Yeah, sorry, who you are, yeah.
Who are you, mate?

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At 00:01:14,474, Character said: My name is James Bond.

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At 00:01:16,502, Character said: JAMES Bond.

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At 00:01:20,410, Character said: Ah? Yeah.

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At 00:01:31,486, Character said: Eh? I will take as many
portions of that as you've g***t.

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At 00:01:35,466, Character said: Go on, have a go, go on.
Can I have a go? Can I have a go?
Go and have a go.

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At 00:01:39,458, Character said: Thanks.

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At 00:01:45,454, Character said: You have to be wearing it.

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At 00:01:48,442, Character said: Yeah, you have to be wearing.

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At 00:01:49,474, Character said: You knew that all along, didn't you?
Yeah. Yeah.

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At 00:01:54,490, Character said: Bob, follow me.

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At 00:02:02,490, Character said: I'm behind you, sir.

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At 00:02:04,410, Character said: Presenting the Christmas tree!
View it at your leisure.

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At 00:02:07,450, Character said: At my leisure, I ** viewing,
it's astoin-ishing.

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At 00:02:10,470, Character said: It is astoin-ishing,
isn't it? Isn't it?

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At 00:02:12,450, Character said: Ask me where I g***t the decorations.

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At 00:02:13,506, Character said: You g***t it at the garage,
didn't you?

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At 00:02:15,474, Character said: You know, the giveaway was
probably the sponge,

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At 00:02:17,482, Character said: but also backed
up by the jump leads.

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At 00:02:21,438, Character said: I've g***t a problem with it, I've g***t a little
bit of a problem with this. Yeah, what?

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At 00:02:24,490, Character said: There's no lights.

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At 00:02:26,410, Character said: Ah, that's where you're wrong.
Huh? Watch.

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At 00:02:34,454, Character said: Electric cigarettes from the garage.

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At 00:02:38,410, Character said: Hey, if we could get 30 chain
smokers in here,

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At 00:02:40,490, Character said: we'd have quite a display, wouldn't
we? It can be arranged. Yeah.

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At 00:02:43,478, Character said: So which garage did you get them
from? Well...

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At 00:02:46,438, Character said: You know...

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At 00:02:55,450, Character said: I g***t them at the pop-up garage,
Bob. Yeah.

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At 00:02:58,446, Character said: All the smoking techniques
covered there, Vic, I think. Yeah.

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At 00:03:01,466, Character said: The pop-up?

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At 00:03:03,478, Character said: The pop-up garage.
The pop-up garage?

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At 00:03:05,506, Character said: Yeah, it's basically,
it's just a big skip,

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At 00:03:08,426, Character said: filled with petrol,
with a tap on it,

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At 00:03:10,462, Character said: you know,
to help the Christmas motorists out.

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At 00:03:12,494, Character said: Oh, the Christmas motorists,
meandering around the country,

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At 00:03:15,490, Character said: looking for the relatives?
That's it. Do you know what?

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At 00:03:18,438, Character said: It reminds me of that,

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At 00:03:19,462, Character said: you remember that big Christmas hit?
Yeah. Do you remember it? Like...

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At 00:03:22,486, Character said: I'm driving round at Christmas...

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At 00:03:26,454, Character said: Just trying to find some relatives.
Yeah.

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At 00:03:29,438, Character said: But we've missed
the Preston turn off...

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At 00:03:33,414, Character said: We'll have to go via Cockermouth.

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At 00:03:35,434, Character said: Driving around Cockermouth...

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At 00:03:38,446, Character said: ..at Christmas!

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At 00:03:45,490, Character said: Hey, Vic.
I love your singing and the tree.

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At 00:03:49,414, Character said: It's so cool and powerful,
just like yourself.

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At 00:03:52,490, Character said: All right, Erik? Yeah, as if.

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At 00:03:57,418, Character said: Father,

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At 00:03:58,422, Character said: as you well know, you promised me
this fascinating bobble hat. Yeah.

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At 00:04:02,450, Character said: I need you to confirm
that it is wrapped

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At 00:04:04,470, Character said: and ready for me to open tomorrow,
and wear on my head at dawn.

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At 00:04:10,498, Character said: Did you get it? It's all right.

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At 00:04:13,442, Character said: Well, I'll tell you what, Erik, you'll just
have to wait and see what Santa brings,

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At 00:04:16,498, Character said: but in the meantime,

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At 00:04:18,450, Character said: I've g***t a little early Christmas
present for you, Erik.

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At 00:04:21,502, Character said: Come on, come over.

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At 00:04:23,474, Character said: Christmas Eve, there you are. Er...

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At 00:04:25,442, Character said: Merry Christmas, Erik.

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At 00:04:28,506, Character said: There you go.

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At 00:04:30,486, Character said: Hope you like it.

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At 00:04:32,410, Character said: It's the men from One Direction,
yeah?

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At 00:04:34,454, Character said: And I thought you could like lay
them out on the pillow

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At 00:04:37,458, Character said: and pretend they were doing
a little concert,

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At 00:04:39,458, Character said: or you could take their
clothes off, wash them in your sink,

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At 00:04:42,434, Character said: and then put them
back on the dolls

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At 00:04:44,494, Character said: and I g***t you a nice magic magnet
there as well, so...

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At 00:04:47,490, Character said: ..merry Christmas.

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At 00:04:49,434, Character said: Great present,
for a 12-year-old girl,

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At 00:04:52,450, Character said: or an old German woman
that has diarrhoea.

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At 00:04:57,474, Character said: Just get me that bobble hat!

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At 00:04:59,494, Character said: Because this is child abuse.

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At 00:05:04,434, Character said: Glad you liked it, Erik.

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At 00:05:06,450, Character said: Eugh!

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At 00:05:10,506, Character said: I thought he'd have liked
the magnet, Vic.

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At 00:05:13,446, Character said: Hey, you did get him
that bobble hat, didn't you?

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At 00:05:15,482, Character said: Oh, let's have a look, see what's on
the telly, shall we?

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At 00:05:19,410, Character said: Ooh, look at this,
this is good, isn't it?!

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At 00:05:21,486, Character said: My Half Tonne...

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At 00:05:24,438, Character said: Festive Arse with Kim Kardashian.

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At 00:05:27,430, Character said: Have you g***t the bobble hat?
What about this?

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At 00:05:29,438, Character said: Peter Andre's 89p Christmas Dinner.

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At 00:05:31,466, Character said: Yeah, did you get the bobble hat?

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At 00:05:33,490, Character said: Oh, this is a good one,
you'll like this one here, look.

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At 00:05:36,438, Character said: Inside Hitler's
Festive Bunker Sing-along.

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At 00:05:40,414, Character said: How about that?

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At 00:05:41,482, Character said: Do you know, Vic? I'm not actually
that keen on Hitler.

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At 00:05:45,454, Character said: Did you get me the bobble hat?

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At 00:05:47,486, Character said: Oh, look, here comes brother Bosh,

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At 00:05:50,450, Character said: clutching something
of potential interest.

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At 00:05:52,474, Character said: Hello, everybody, and it's a great
big warm welcome from me,

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At 00:05:55,478, Character said: and a very happy Christmas
to everyone involved

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At 00:05:58,430, Character said: in this year's Christmas, you twats.

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At 00:06:02,490, Character said: What's that you g***t there?
Oh, it's a jigsaw puzzle,

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At 00:06:05,466, Character said: one million pieces!
Whiteout in the Pennines.

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At 00:06:10,454, Character said: It's a wintry snow scene of three
albino blokes

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At 00:06:13,438, Character said: drinking milk in a white
van in a blizzard.

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At 00:06:22,502, Character said: Ages eight to 80, allow three years,
brilliant, shall we?

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At 00:06:27,474, Character said: No, we shan't, Bosh. You can more
or less eff off, actually.

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At 00:06:30,474, Character said: I'm discussing something
with your brother. Back upstairs.

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At 00:06:33,446, Character said: All right, no problem. My bad.

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At 00:06:35,418, Character said: I'll go upstairs and do it on my
tod. Hey?

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At 00:06:39,426, Character said: And fix...