00:00:12,167 --> 00:00:15,- I g***t one for y'all. Ayesha Curry or Savannah James?

00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,- S***t, I'll snag both of them Lar-tinas.

00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:18,- You know the rules to the game, homey.

00:00:18,833 --> 00:00:20,Can't take both.

00:00:20,067 --> 00:00:21,- That's a mediocre mindset, my nig.

00:00:21,733 --> 00:00:23,- Well, I'll take Ayesha over Savannah,

00:00:23,667 --> 00:00:26,'cause you already know 'Bron did damage to them levies.

00:00:29,567 --> 00:00:31,- God d***n it, Randy.

00:00:31,467 --> 00:00:34,What you doing, motherfucker? Get your head in the game.

00:00:34,233 --> 00:00:36,You ain't light-skinded enough to make that pass.

00:00:36,967 --> 00:00:39,- D***n, Bundy's breath is on one today.

00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,I can actually see his words.

00:00:41,367 --> 00:00:43,- It's like the Tooth Fairy took a s***t in his mouth.

00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:46,- I'm finna capture a BET award for this.

00:00:46,033 --> 00:00:48,- Who in the motherfucking hell you think you is?

00:00:48,067 --> 00:00:50,Russell Westbrook? - Well, I--I wish, Coach.

00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:52,- Well, you ain't, you quasi-gay motherfucker.

00:00:52,867 --> 00:00:54,- I'm trying, Coach.

00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:55,You don't have to be so agro about it.

00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:57,- Well, try harder, ya no-toughness-havin',

00:00:57,767 --> 00:01:00,wanna be a point guard but dribble like Dwight Coward,

00:01:00,567 --> 00:01:02,couldn't jump over a credit card motherfucker.

00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:06,I'm sorry.

00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,Maybe I should just put a gun to my head.

00:01:09,067 --> 00:01:11,- Go ahead, motherfucker. Everybody knows you can't shoot.

00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,- Anybody else wanna f***k up my dreams?

00:01:17,067 --> 00:01:19,- I'm uploading this s***t right now, yadada mean?

00:01:19,833 --> 00:01:21,G***t you, motherfucker.

00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:26,What?

00:01:26,133 --> 00:01:28,- D***n it, d***n it, d***n it... - I don't know.

00:01:28,133 --> 00:01:30,Oh, I'm very excited here.

00:01:30,233 --> 00:01:31,- Everybody settle down.

00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,I know that we've all seen the video,

00:01:33,233 --> 00:01:35,and I'm sure Coach Bundy wants to apologize.

00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:42,Ladies and gentlemen...

00:01:42,167 --> 00:01:44,I ain't apologizing for s***t!

00:01:45,567 --> 00:01:46,Questions?

00:01:46,633 --> 00:01:48,- Kiss my grits, Bundy.

00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,You can't bully my son. He's your best player!

00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:54,- These kids need to be coddled, enabled, and lied to,

00:01:54,367 --> 00:01:56,just like they will be in the real world.

00:01:57,833 --> 00:01:59,Some ol'-- some ol' emo type s***t.

00:01:59,767 --> 00:02:01,- Look, it's time to vote.

00:02:01,167 --> 00:02:03,All those in favor of Coach Bundy being fired,

00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:05,say "holler." all: Holler!

00:02:05,367 --> 00:02:07,- Sorry, Coach, the parents have spoken.

00:02:07,367 --> 00:02:09,Gonna have to fire you. Now turn in your whistle

00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:11,and your polyester compression shorts.

00:02:11,100 --> 00:02:12,- I ain't turning in s***t, motherfucker.

00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:16,Y'all come get this motherfucker if you want to.

00:02:21,133 --> 00:02:23,- God d***n, man. You need all that d***k?

00:02:28,733 --> 00:02:32,- It looks like longtime Duncan head coach, Ike Bundy,

00:02:32,067 --> 00:02:34,is in bloody waters after a video leaked of him

00:02:34,967 --> 00:02:37,beraping one of his players with his ball.

00:02:37,933 --> 00:02:39,The Chamberlain Heights school district

00:02:39,667 --> 00:02:41,will be looking for a replacement

00:02:41,667 --> 00:02:44,who can keep it coolio under pressure.

00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,I wrote that.

00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:50,- Looking for some midnight anus, handsome?

00:03:07,733 --> 00:03:09,- D***n, Milk. Ain't you gonna go apologize

00:03:09,933 --> 00:03:11,to Coach Bundy for getting him booted?

00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:13,- Forget Coach Bundy. He always yelling at us,

00:03:13,933 --> 00:03:16,he don't give us any burn, and his breath smell like

00:03:16,267 --> 00:03:18,his mouth and his a***s switched places.

00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:23,- Can I help you? - I'm your new head coach.

00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:25,- Derek Fisher, I get that you're a basketball player,

00:03:25,367 --> 00:03:26,but you can't just come in here and--

00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:32,Oh, s***t. - That is a nice suit.

00:03:33,533 --> 00:03:35,- Students of Duncan, it is with great pleasure

00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:37,that I introduce you to your new head basketball coach.

00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:39,He's well-hung-- I mean, well-equipped

00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:40,to handle this job.

00:03:40,900 --> 00:03:44,Give it up for five-time NBA champion, Derek Fisher!

00:03:44,467 --> 00:03:46,- He's so gorgeous.

00:03:46,133 --> 00:03:48,I g***t some bait for those fish lips.

00:03:48,533 --> 00:03:50,- We g***t a celebrity coach, my nig.

00:03:50,067 --> 00:03:51,- Ah!

00:03:51,067 --> 00:03:52,We might actually get some burn.

00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,- How you figure? We ride the bench.

00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,- He ain't seen us play,

00:03:55,467 --> 00:03:58,so he don't know that y'all s***k.

00:03:58,267 --> 00:04:00,What? I g***t statistics.

00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,Google me, bitch.

00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:07,- I'm your coach. You're welcome.

00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:12,- I'ma have your babies, Coach Fisher!

00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:19,- What's wrong with you, Ike?

00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:21,You look like me on our wedding day.

00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:23,- Rivers brought that goddamn Derek Fisher in to take my job.

00:04:23,967 --> 00:04:26,- Derek Fisher? Ooh, Lakers' Derek Fisher?

00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:29,- Yes, the s***y, delicious, high yella motherfucker.

00:04:29,233 --> 00:04:32,- You can say that again. - Say what again, motherfucker?

00:04:32,133 --> 00:04:34,- Huh? What? Uh-- oh, uh, nothing, Ike.

00:04:34,333 --> 00:04:35,- I mean, what has this nigga done really?

00:04:35,933 --> 00:04:38,- Eh, nothing. He's only a five-time NBA champion,

00:04:38,967 --> 00:04:40,'96 Sun Belt Player of the Year,

00:04:40,467 --> 00:04:43,and the best-looking Laker since Jamaal "Silk" Wilkes.

00:04:43,567 --> 00:04:46,- Everybody knows Rick Fox is the prettiest Laker of all time.

00:04:46,933 --> 00:04:49,Anyways, Fisher's coaching the game tonight,

00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:51,and I wanna go see the motherfucker crash and burn.

00:04:55,667 --> 00:04:58,- Duncan High is the place to be tonight

00:04:58,433 --> 00:05:02,for the debut of Head Coach Derek Fisher.

00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:05,- You're welcome. Love me. Love me.

00:05:05,967 --> 00:05:09,Who wants to s***x Fisher?

00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:13,- Fisher.

00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:15,- Bundy.

00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:19,- You know you ain't s***t, right?

00:05:19,633 --> 00:05:21,- I know. Who do I make this out to?

00:05:21,567 --> 00:05:23,- F***k you, Fish.

00:05:23,533 --> 00:05:26,What the f***k? God d***n, nigga, you strong.

00:05:26,567 --> 00:05:28,- You're welcome.

00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,- Bundy, just so you know,

00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:31,I personally have no problem with you being here.

00:05:31,633 --> 00:05:33,In fact, you can go sit on the bench

00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,with the rest of the s***t crew.

00:05:35,700 --> 00:05:38,- F***k you, Doc!

00:05:38,667 --> 00:05:40,- Work that black D, baby!

00:05:41,933 --> 00:05:44,- And the Blind Bats win the tip.

00:05:44,267 --> 00:05:46,I bet no one saw that coming.

00:05:46,233 --> 00:05:48,- Hey, Bundy, welcome to the s***t crew.

00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:51,- What you talking about, Jamal?

00:05:51,433 --> 00:05:53,I ain't one of y'all motherfuckers.

00:05:53,633 --> 00:05:55,So what y'all do when y'all just sitting here?

00:05:55,067 --> 00:05:56,Y'all play any games, like, uh,

00:05:56,567 --> 00:05:57,Chutes and Ladders or Battleship?

00:05:57,967 --> 00:06:00,'Cause I will sink all you motherfuckers.

00:06:00,067 --> 00:06:02,- We scout the spectators for future boos.

00:06:02,467 --> 00:06:06,Ooh, and a number one prospect just entered the premises.

00:06:08,733 --> 00:06:12,- S***t, I'd crash, smash, and Kardash that a***s.

00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:13,- S***t, I'd eat it, beat it, and skeet it.

00:06:13,867 --> 00:06:15,- She's a brick house.

00:06:15,433 --> 00:06:17,700...