Carry On - 12 - Carry On Screaming(3) Subtitles

00:00:17,201 --> 00:00:18,Aaaargh!

00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:22,Aaaargh!

00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:49,Aaaargh!

00:01:30,479 --> 00:01:32,Aaaaargh! Aaargh!

00:01:33,039 --> 00:01:36,- What's the matter? What did I do?
- Well, what was that funny noise?

00:01:36,558 --> 00:01:37,W-W-What funny noise?

00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:39,I don't know. Sort of...

00:01:41,358 --> 00:01:43,I can't help being a bit passionate,
can I?

00:01:43,278 --> 00:01:45,Oh, Albert, I didn't mean
what you were doing.

00:01:46,718 --> 00:01:48,- What are you shivering for?
- I don't know!

00:01:49,038 --> 00:01:51,A funny feeling, it come over me
all of a sudden,

00:01:51,718 --> 00:01:53,like... icy fingers down my spine.

00:01:53,638 --> 00:01:56,Lumme, Doris, I did keep my gloves on.
I can't do more than that, can I?

00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:59,Oh, I didn't mean your icy fingers,
Albert.

00:01:59,958 --> 00:02:01,Well, whose, then?

00:02:01,798 --> 00:02:03,I don't know, but...

00:02:03,317 --> 00:02:05,I've g***t a feeling
someone's watching us.

00:02:05,398 --> 00:02:06,Good luck to him!

00:02:06,518 --> 00:02:08,I've been courting you a year and there's
been nothing worth watching so far.

00:02:09,077 --> 00:02:12,- Albert!
- Well, I'm sorry, Doris, but...

00:02:12,197 --> 00:02:15,after all, I'm...
I'm only flesh and blood.

00:02:15,197 --> 00:02:18,And if something doesn't happen soon,
well...

00:02:18,158 --> 00:02:20,somethings going to happen -
that's all.

00:02:20,397 --> 00:02:23,Aren't you funny?
I never thought of you being like that-

00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:26,you know...
flesh and blood, and that.

00:02:26,677 --> 00:02:29,Well, it's time you started
thinking about... that.

00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:33,- Oh, Albert...
- Oh, Doris!

00:02:35,477 --> 00:02:37,- Aaaaargh!
- What now?

00:02:37,797 --> 00:02:40,There is something
in those bushes.

00:02:40,277 --> 00:02:43,For Pete's sake, we're never going
to get anywhere if you go on like this!

00:02:43,756 --> 00:02:46,Albert, there... there must be
somebody in those bushes,

00:02:46,677 --> 00:02:47,because I saw them move.

00:02:48,076 --> 00:02:50,All right. Anyone there?

00:02:50,157 --> 00:02:51,No. There you are, see?
Nobody. Come on!

00:02:51,916 --> 00:02:55,Oh, you don't expect them to say so,
do you?

00:02:56,197 --> 00:02:59,Couldn't you...?
Couldn't you go and look?

00:03:00,277 --> 00:03:02,Oh, all right!

00:03:04,036 --> 00:03:05,Who's there?

00:03:05,797 --> 00:03:08,Come on. Who's there?

00:03:08,276 --> 00:03:10,It's not a peepshow, you know.

00:03:10,676 --> 00:03:12,Come on. Buzz off,
or there'll be trouble.

00:03:12,476 --> 00:03:14,Come on out,
you Peeping Tom!

00:03:14,356 --> 00:03:17,For the last time, I'm warning you.
Come on.

00:03:17,356 --> 00:03:19,Get out. Go home!

00:03:32,196 --> 00:03:34,Nah, there's nobody here.

00:03:34,395 --> 00:03:36,She's just trying to put me off,
that's all.

00:03:37,956 --> 00:03:40,What did I tell you?
There's nobody...

00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:42,Doris?

00:03:44,076 --> 00:03:45,Doris!

00:03:48,675 --> 00:03:51,Come on, Doris,
stop messing about.

00:03:51,355 --> 00:03:52,Where are you?

00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:54,Doris?

00:03:55,995 --> 00:03:57,Well, answer me.

00:04:12,914 --> 00:04:17,Well, if that's all you have to say,
Mr Potter, I'll telephone my superior.

00:04:24,194 --> 00:04:26,W-W-What's the matter?

00:04:26,315 --> 00:04:28,That noise! What's that noise?

00:04:28,274 --> 00:04:29,Noise... what's...?

00:04:29,634 --> 00:04:33,It's only the telephone bell!
Aren't you ever going to get used to it?

00:04:33,194 --> 00:04:34,I'll never get used to it.

00:04:34,554 --> 00:04:36,The invention of the devil -
that's what it is!

00:04:36,874 --> 00:04:40,People talking through wires,
waking respectable people at all hours.

00:04:40,754 --> 00:04:42,It's like someone walking in
when you're in the bath.

00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:45,It's an invasion of privacy.
That's what it is!

00:04:45,193 --> 00:04:48,You in a bath -
that'd stop any invasion, that would.

00:04:48,154 --> 00:04:51,Well, I'm not having it in my house
a moment longer - do you hear?

00:04:51,234 --> 00:04:54,And if it doesn't go, I will.
I can promise you that.

00:04:54,474 --> 00:04:57,Promises, promises.
Always promises.

00:05:01,313 --> 00:05:05,Slobotham here, Sergeant.
Sorry if I'm disturbing you and Mrs Bung.

00:05:05,153 --> 00:05:08,That's all right, Slobotham.
We weren't doing anything.

00:05:08,313 --> 00:05:11,I thought you ought to know, Sergeant:
it's happened again.

00:05:11,313 --> 00:05:14,- What's happened again?
- Another disappearance, Sergeant.

00:05:14,153 --> 00:05:15,Did you get a description?

00:05:15,233 --> 00:05:17,Naturally.

00:05:17,313 --> 00:05:18,It's a Miss Doris Mann.

00:05:18,833 --> 00:05:21,Aged about 20, medium height,
average-colour hair,

00:05:21,912 --> 00:05:23,ordinary eyes, wearing clothes.

00:05:24,072 --> 00:05:26,Well, it should be a piece of cake
finding her, shouldn't it?

00:05:26,313 --> 00:05:27,Where did it happen?

00:05:27,792 --> 00:05:29,Hocombe Woods. Again.

00:05:29,553 --> 00:05:30,Again!

00:05:30,912 --> 00:05:33,That's the sixth woman
who's disappeared

00:05:33,432 --> 00:05:35,on the same spot
inside of a year!

00:05:35,952 --> 00:05:37,Exactly, Sergeant.

00:05:37,593 --> 00:05:39,Do you think there could possibly
be some connection?

00:05:39,952 --> 00:05:43,It's possible, Slobotham.

00:05:43,512 --> 00:05:45,But we mustn't jump to any conclusions.

00:05:45,753 --> 00:05:47,No, no, of course not,
Sergeant.

00:05:47,872 --> 00:05:50,- Who reported it?
- He's here now.

00:05:50,512 --> 00:05:52,Calls himself Albert Potter.

00:05:53,112 --> 00:05:55,Medium height, brown hair,
beady eyes...

00:05:56,072 --> 00:05:59,Never mind a description!
You just keep him there till I get there.

00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:06,- Move over.
- What did you say?

00:06:06,472 --> 00:06:08,Move over to my side of the bed.

00:06:08,992 --> 00:06:12,Certainly not. You're not getting round me
like that, Sidney Bung.

00:06:12,632 --> 00:06:16,Oh, please, Em. Just this once.
I've only g***t a few minutes. Up!

00:06:18,071 --> 00:06:21,I'll say this for you -
you make a very good trouser press.

00:06:22,112 --> 00:06:23,You're not going out?

00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:26,No, I'm putting these on
to take a bath.

00:06:26,271 --> 00:06:28,And where are you going
at this time of night?

00:06:28,831 --> 00:06:31,- To find another woman.
- Don't lie to me!

00:06:31,871 --> 00:06:34,You're going to that wretched
police station of yours - I know!

00:06:34,751 --> 00:06:36,- Well, you've caught me out.
- Huh!

00:06:36,951 --> 00:06:39,You haven't any time for me,
let alone any other woman.

00:06:39,911 --> 00:06:43,- I wouldn't bet on that.
- Police! That's all you ever think about.

00:06:43,591 --> 00:06:45,Never mind about me.
Oh, dear, no.

00:06:45,871 --> 00:06:48,Do you realise
you haven't taken me out for years?

00:06:48,670 --> 00:06:51,Oh, don't exaggerate.
We went out a couple of months ago.

00:06:52,071 --> 00:06:53,We had a lovely time.

00:06:54,111 --> 00:06:56,You call that lovely?

00:06:56,150 --> 00:06:58,To my poor, dear mother's funeral?

00:06:58,831 --> 00:07:01,- Well, I enjoyed it.
- Oh, yes, you would.

00:07:01,910 --> 00:07:03,I should have listened to her.

00:07:04,510 --> 00:07:06,"Never marry a policeman,"
she said.

00:07:06,391 --> 00:07:09,"You can't trust 'em," she said.
"Unreliable," she said.

00:07:09,590 --> 00:07:11,"He'll lead you a dog's life,"
she said.

00:07:11,990 --> 00:07:14,- She was right.
- I should have listened to her.

00:07:14,190 --> 00:07:16,So should I.
Where's my other boot?

00:07:20,030 --> 00:07:23,That's right, off you go!
Never mind about saying goodbye, even.

00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:25,Goodbye, even.

00:07:26,990 --> 00:07:28,That's it,
knock my poor mother down.

00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:32,Now look what you've made me do!

00:07:38,029 --> 00:07:41,- Oh, excuse me, Sergeant.
- In my chair again, eh, Slobotham?

00:07:41,389 --> 00:07:43,Just warming it up for you, sarge.

00:07:45,150 --> 00:07:47,- Right. Is this him?
- Yes.

00:07:47,910 --> 00:07:50,A Mr Potter, window cleaner.
33 Hogsmere Road.

00:07:50,869 --> 00:07:53,"Friend" of the young lady
that disappeared.

00:07:53,229 --> 00:07:55,Right. Get out your notebook,
Slobotham.

00:07:55,589 --> 00:07:57,I want every word of this taken down.

00:07:59,349 --> 00:08:03,As I understand it, you took
this girl up to Hocombe Woods, right?

00:08:03,229 --> 00:08:06,- That's right, yes.
- For what purpose, Mr Potter?

00:08:06,668 --> 00:08:09,- Eh?
- What did you take her out there for?

00:08:09,469 --> 00:08:12,Well... I dunno.
We just sort of felt like it.

00:08:13,028 --> 00:08:16,- "Felt... like... it."
- Felt like what?

00:08:16,508 --> 00:08:19,- I wouldn't like to say, Sergeant.
- I'm asking him!

00:08:19,349 --> 00:08:20,Well, Mr Potter?

00:08:20,868 -->...